Our step-mother declared that Nell should never rest in peace while the blood was warm in her head. She also said that she would never be satisfied until she saw sister laid in her casket - ready for the grave.

Well, I must say that I feel now as if though my trouble was just beginning.

At that period of my life it was then that John insisted that we dispose of our residence in order that he might go into business for himself. Whenever he saw my father coming to see us he would say, “Now, Ida, yonder comes your pa, and I want to say to him when he gets here that you are anxious to break up housekeeping and try boarding for awhile, as you are not very strong and think a little rest would do you good.”

I asked my husband why he wanted me to say all this to father. He said, “Oh, well, I just don't want him to think that I am anxious to sell the property after his giving us the painting of the house.”

John told me that if I would agree to dispose of our home he would pay me $100 to sign the deed and that I should be placed under Dr. McGuire at Richmond for treatment, as I was then very nervous. At the same time he insisted on me having my life insured for his benefit. I finally agreed to sign the deed for $100, but told him in plain English that I would never consent to having my life insured for his benefit, nor no one else, as I didn't believe in it.

This did not seem to set well with him, and he made a few profane remarks, which I took no notice of whatever, but told him I did not care much whether we disposed of our home or not, unless we could realize some clean capital by the sale of it.

He said, “Well, I am now corresponding with H. J. Thomas, a practicing physician of Wisconsin, who is very anxious to locate somewhere down South, and thinks our little city the place for him. No doubt he will be the purchaser of our home. In the meantime we will break up housekeeping and advertise the property for rent. I do not think it will be a difficult matter to find a tenant for a place like this.”

The day following the advertisement John came rushing into the dining-room, saying, “Mamma, what do you think? I have had an applicant for the house already.” Of course I was curious to know who it was and insisted on my husband's telling me. After his doing so I said, “Well, do as you think best about the matter, but you know the reputation this widow bears in regard to paying her debts, and I believe if I were in your place I would look around for someone else.”

John then turned red in the face and told me to shut up, as he intended giving the widow permission to move into our house, and, furthermore, was not going to charge her one cent of rent.

These remarks raised my ire a little too much and I said, “Yes, I would just like for you to attempt such a thing, I would soon show you the fruits of a pine torch.”

My husband left home immediately after this. I suppose he did so in order to inform his tenant as to what had been said between he and I in regard to her taking possession of the house.

That night he returned home from the store as pleased as a basket of chips, and wanted to know how soon I would be ready to move down street. I said, “Oh, well, if I must I must, and will try and arrange it so that we can move by the first or middle of June,” but, oh, how I did hate to leave the home I called my own. At the same time I thought it best to obey the man whose name I bore, so made no more fuss about the matter, and on the 16th of June, 1890, we broke up housekeeping and obtained board with Mrs. Rose Williams, who ran the City Hotel on Main street, over Jacobs' clothing store.

We had only been installed in our new quarters about a week when one morning my husband came to breakfast and informed me that D. D. Schouler, his employer, had discharged him on my account.

I said, “What have I done that would cause Schouler to discharge you?” He refused to answer my question, and I then told him that I intended going over to investigate the matter myself. He forbade me doing so, and I have remained in the dark ever since as to why he received his dismissal.

We remained with Mrs. Williams six months. Then she informed us that we must pay more than fifty dollars per month for board. I told her that we were not willing to do so and that I would look around for another place, which I did, and secured very nice board and lodging with Mrs. Elizabeth Rierson, in the Buxton Block, on Liberty street. I would have been very happy in my new home if John had acted as he ought to have done, but instead he gave me a great deal of trouble on account of his mode of living. He always pretended to the outside world that he was perfectly devoted to me, but such was not the case.

Oh! the profane language I was compelled to endure on his return home at night. I remember once of his not making his appearance in my room until 2 o'clock in the morning, and when I questioned him as to why he had remained out until this late hour, he began cursing and told me that it was none of my d---- business where he had been as he was a man of his own, and generally went and came when he pleased. He finally cooled down long enough to say that as it was a pretty moonlight night he had been showing a shoe salesman over our city. I asked him whether he thought I was fool enough to believe such a story. I said, “You might tell such things to the marines, but not to me.”

He then began cursing again at such a rate that Mrs. Rierson was forced to call in Policeman Hanner to quiet him. When Mr. Hanner came to our door, John pointed a pistol right in his face, and told him to carry himself back down on the street, or he would blow his brains out. The policeman did as requested, but I think it was on my account. Then John said, “Now, Ida, if they try to arrest me to-morrow, you must tell them that I had a nightmare, and that was why I raised such a racket.” So I passed the following day almost in agony, for fear I would be compelled to commit this awful sin in order to shield my husband.

John never allowed me to go anywhere unless he was with me. All that he had to say was, “Ida, you can't go,” and that was sufficient. I never asked the second time.

One evening Mrs. Rierson insisted on me accompanying her to church. I promised to do so, but when I learned that it was against my husband's wishes, I complained of a severe headache and remained in my room instead of fulfilling the promise I had made.

Oh! why did I do all this for one who appreciated it so little, and afterward cast me aside for another when I grew old.

Another trait of John's was to fly into a passion in a minute if I happened to address in a friendly manner either of the young salesmen employed in our store. He formed a great dislike for Allie Hege especially. Why it was, I do not know, for I always looked upon Allie as a mere child, and treated him as such.

One evening, while at the Rierson House, the children and I were sitting out on the balcony enjoying some frozen cream. All at once young Hege passed and said, “Why, good evening, Mrs. Beard; what are you all doing up there?”

I told him that we were trying to keep cool, and insisted on his partaking of a saucer of cream also.

I didn't think there would be any harm in doing this; only thought I was doing something in return for his kindness towards Basil. Allie had not more than seated himself in our midst when my husband happened to step out on the pavement in front of his place of business, and, I supposed, noticed some one besides the children on the balcony with me.

I tell you the store was closed early for one time, and I enjoyed John's society during the remainder of the evening. He treated our guest politely while with us, but no sooner than he was out of sight my husband began cursing at a terrific rate, and threatened to discharge young Hege on the following morning.

Now, I thought I had borne enough, and told John so. I said, “You ought to be ashamed of yourself for censuring me as you have during the last five minutes, when you know that I only regard Allie as a boy and treat him accordingly.”

My husband not only objected to my treating Allie in a cordial manner, but young Crowell also. At one time he lay sick at the Rierson in a room adjoining our room, and while suffering from the effects of a high fever he called for water. I knew there was no one to wait upon him, and I did so myself by placing a pitcher of ice water on the outside of his door. For this act I received the most unmerciful scolding from John. I told him I did not mean any harm by placing the water at the door; was only anxious to do something for Mr. Crowell, as he was suffering and here among strangers.

The following morning my cousin sent me a beautiful box of flowers and cake. Having more than I desired for my own use, thought I would cheer the young bookkeeper up a bit by letting Basil carry him some of both. The minute I had sent the things I said to myself, “Now I will catch it again,” so sat down to await John's return home from the store. When he came, I told him what I had done, and said, “Now, I do hope you will not scold me for this little act of kindness, when it was only to brighten up a poor sick boy's room.”

My husband began cursing as usual, and said, “Ida, try it once more, and I will leave you, so help me God.”

Well, now I have given you some idea of my life at the Rierson House. After boarding at the above named place for nearly two years, we at last had a little misunderstanding - on account of the children. We then tried boarding with Mrs. Westbrook, a cousin of John's; but this did not last long, as she and I could not get along at all.

On leaving Mrs. Westbrook's residence, we moved to the Jones House, and I must say that some of the happiest moments of my married life were spent with this hospitable family. It seemed as if though they could never do enough for us.

On going to the Jones House, the proprietor informed us that he could not give us a room in the main building, as every one was then occupied, but would let us have a little brick structure formerly known as Judge Wilson's law office. We accepted the offer, and moved in at once.

I said to John, “Now, do please let's begin life anew, and I want you to assist me in arranging our furniture in the room”; but once more he refused to do so, and told me that he was willing to hire Mr. Samuel Miller for the purpose; so, with Mr. Miller's aid I soon had a cosy little nest; but, oh, how much more I would have appreciated my husband's assistance.

Everyone thought me perfectly happy while at the Jones House, but alas! I was not. It's true, my husband was doing a prosperous business, known as Old Cheap John, and my surroundings were comfortable, but, after all, this did not constitute happiness.

As the days passed, I realized that my husband was growing from bad to worse, and knew that unless there was a change, and that quickly, he would be entirely lost, so I plead with him to turn over a new leaf and do away with the accursed opium and bromo-seltzer habit.

But my pleadings were all in vain. He told me that he intended eating opium and drinking bromo-seltzer as long as he lived. Then it was I gave up all hope of redeeming the man I had clung to through poverty and prosperity for so many years.

But still I said to myself, “I'll be true to him, whether he is to me or not”; and now I feel that I did my duty as a wife until the last. I never remained away from John a single day or night during our married life. Perhaps it would have been a great deal better for me if I had, then he would have known how to appreciate me all the more on my return.