DIARY OF
BELLE EDMONDSON
January - November, 1864
(transcript)
Given by
Miss Mary B. West
138 North Willett Street
Memphis, Tennessee
for permanent preservation in the
SOUTHERN HISTORICAL COLLECTION
University of North Carolina
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Diary of
Belle Edmondson
1864
January, Friday 1, 1864
'Tis New Year, a happy one to our household.
Lieut. Spotswood and
Eddie came last night. Poor Eddie is greatly in
need of clothes.
I do not think we will have much trouble in out
Gen'ling the Yanks.
I have $50. G.B. left I intend to devote
to that purpose. It is very
cold, all nature is robed in Ice.
Notwithstanding the Yanks are such near neighbors,
we have had a
house full of Rebels all day, four of Henderson's
Scouts - Lieut. S.
Eddie, Jim & Elb Jeters. Nannie and I went
in the buggy over to the
smugler's, Joe White, to see if we could not get
some things there for
Eddie, failed, bro't
Lute some soap - almost froze to death - got home at
dark, all just finishing dinner, had a splendid
time tonight. Our Armys
all seem to be Status Quo. God grant successful
may be the termination of
1864 - oh! my savior I have buried the past -
guide and leade me from
temptation. After you, my God, then I live
for my Country - God bless
our leaders in Dixie.
January, Saturday 2, 1864
Bettie and Uncle Elum went in town this morning horse-back. I sent
$50. to Mr. Armstrong to get Eddie's suite
of clothes and other articles
which he needs. Poor Soldiers, this bitter cold
weather I wish I had
money to buy every thing they need -
Lieut. Spotswood went with two of Henderson's
Scouts over Nonconnah
to Mr. Deadrick's to get them to bring him every
thing he needs out - they
promised to do so. It has been sleeting all day -
three of the Bluff City's
called this evening, got their dinner, warmed and went on over Nonconnah.
Cousin Frazor came this evening, and we have a
house full - they are all
Rebels, and we always have room for them if a
hundred would come. All
we can do is to sit round the fire, laugh, talk and try to keep warm.
Bettie and Uncle Elum have not returned yet. I
feel very uneasy, as she
is to smuggle Eddie's clothes. Tate is out of humor, Eddie is troubled,
but I think it will all be right - yet suspense is terrible -
January, Sunday 3, 1864
Another day has passed, and not one word from
Bettie or Uncle Elum -
no communication with Memphis today, too cold to
go out side of the doors.
Still sleeting - house still full, if not a little
fuller. Tate is growing
very impatient to leave for Dixie - she is really cross about Bettie, but
I still have hope that it will be all right. Eddie feels badly about it,
as the risk was run for him - God bless the Rebels.
I would risk my life
a dozen times a day to serve them - think what they suffer for us -
Henny Furgeson and Lieut. Spotswood left for Dixie.
Henny F. bought
Helen's pony, gave $200. for it, he rode it off -
It does not seem like
the Sabbath, though this is the first one of '64.
We spent the day as usual,
laughing, talking, and trying to keep warm.
Julien Simmons and Dashiell
Perkins came over from Col. Perkins -
Dashiell staid we sat up very late,
and Poor old - looks like the noise will
run him crazy.
January, Monday 4, 1864
I always try to see the bright side of every picture.
I have never
given up hope but Bettie would come right side up - and I think she is a
star darkie - she and Uncle Elum arrived safely at home. Bettie was loaded
with contraband - Eddie a suit of clothes, pr Boots, Gauntlets, socks -
blacking, and in fact everything he sent for -
he is so grateful and real
proud of all his things. Laura gave him the Gauntlets - he went with me
to my room, and I packed his valise, he now has
everything in the world
he needs - and Company to go South with him, Sam Alexander, one of the
Bluff City's came and stoped
over night to go on in the morning, old Mr.
Jaison with him. Dear Eddie, this is his last night
with us, we all sat
up very late. Weather gloomy, bitter cold, ground
still covered with Snow.
January, Tuesday 5, 1864
Still cold, cloudy and gloomy, has not moderated at all, it is real
dangerous traveling, the ground covered with Ice.
Eddie has on his new suit, ready to leave for camp. Mr. Alexander
and old Mr. Jayson are going with him, and we are better satisfied - I
would not have him stay any longer for any thing, I am perfectly disgusted
at the way in which our soldiers are lying about, shirking their duty.
Eddie has everything to make him comfortable for this winter -
Two more of the Bluff City's arrived, got their dinner, warmed, and
went on over Nonconnah. Our house still full,
we have a gay time picketing
fir the Yankees, but I expect the boys think
they have a gayer one running
in the cold at their appearance - As usual we all
sat up very late.
January, Monday 11, 1864
Like a weary actor in a play,
Like a phantom in a dream,
Like a lost boat left to stray
Rudderless adown the stream -
This is what my life has grown, -
Since thy false heart left me lone, -
And I wonder sometimes when the laugh is loud,
And I wonder at the faces of the crowd,
And the strange fantastic measures that they tread, -
Till I think at last, till I half believe I an dead.
February, Thursday 4, 1864
We had a terrible accident to Night.
Jack had Mr. Wilson's Pistol
fooling with it, and shot Jane right through the body - poor fellow, he
was frightened to death - it was an accident.
Mr. Wilson went for the
Dr. he came in a great hurry, as it was night
he could not tell how serious
it is, but very much fears it has struck some vital point.
February, Friday 5, 1864
Jane doing very well, the ball although passing so near the kidneys,
& spine, missed both. Dr. Shaw has examined it by daylight, and thinks
she will be up again in five or six weeks -
Peter and I went over to Mrs. Duke's - I went to Memphis in Mr.
Armstrong's wagon - got the Morphine & Chloroform. Mr. Armstrong drove
me out to Mrs. Duke's - I mounted old McGruder, Peter old Sam, we got home
early. Jack ran off this morning, we don't know where to - but expect he
has gone to Memphis -
February, Sunday 14, 1864
Tate and Helen cam back from Dixie today -
February, Monday 15, 1864
I did not get up very early, was eating breakfast in my room, when I
was startled by the reports of six or seven guns - dressed hurriedly, on
arriving at the gate found all the family, both white and black, in the
greatest state of excitement - one of the 2nd. Mo - Mr. Brent - relating
to them the particulars of the skirmish which had taken place only a few
hundred yards from our house - A family of negroes had got this far on
their journey from Hernando to Memphis when Mr. Brent met them, and they
ordered him to surrender, at the same time fireing. Of course no Southern
Soldier would ever surrender to a Negro, he fired five times, being all
the leads he had - killed one Negro, wounded another, he ran in the woods
and we saw nothing more of him - one of the women and a little boy succeeded
in getting off also - the other woman with three girls were carried back
to Hernando - The Soldier got a splendid Cavalry horse & equipments, two
Mules and another horse - he left expecting the Yankees. Father had the
Negro burried where he was killed - No Yankees - Mr. Wilson came, no
late news -
February, Monday 22, 1864
I mounted Mr. Brent's condemned steed, which proved to be a very
nice riding horse, but rather wild - I had a lovely ride, found Mrs.
Morgan's after some difficulty. Mrs. Plunket was with Missie, her Mother
has been very sick, but they think she is now recovering. I do not think
so, she looks dreadfully, and poor Missie, my heart aches to look at her
and think what trials she must in my opinion pass through -
I staid until
1 o'clock, arrived at home just as they were all eating dinner - found Mr.
Wilson had arrived. No news, no courier up lately -
February, Thursday 25, 1864
Sallie Hildebrand sent down for me this morning to go with her to
Mrs. Morgan's, poor Ladies, she has at last gone to rest,
she died yesterday
evening at 4 o'c. I went with her and stayed until sundown, returned home
to try to get Joanna to go and sit up, but she would not do it. I went
back with Miss Mary Robinson, met Helen and Nannie, got them to go back
with us - they had been down to Col. Perkins to spend the day. Ben Henderson
went with us, we did not get there until dark.
Poor Missie, I feel so sorry for her.
February, Friday 26, 1864
Nannie, Helen, and Miss Mary Robinson and myself sat up last night
with Mrs. Morgan's corps - It was
a sad and lonely night - Poor Missie,
how my heart sympathizes with her in this great affliction.
Helen and
Nannie came home very early, Miss Robinson and
I staid until after breakfast,
when Miss Huckens came we left. Tate &
Joanna went to the funeral, after
that Joanna and Cousin S. returned Memphis -
A squad of 7 Confederates stoped
at the gate - belonging to 2nd. Ark -
I went to sleep directly after breakfast, and did not awaken until
after dinner. I was never in such a cross humor as I have been tonight.
I feel ashamed for the way in which I have spoken to Bettie and Laura -
nobody knows what I have to try me sometimes. Bettie left early, Laura
fast asleep - Beulah & Tippie Dora both nodding - here I sit at 3 o'clock
morning, with four packages of 300 letters for our Rebel Soldiers, which
it has taken me until this time of night to finish. I will lie down and
take a nap - I had to wake Laura to get me fresh water, I was so sick.
She is always kind to me.
February, Saturday 27, 1864
Annie Nelson and myself went to Memphis this morning - very warm,
dusty and disagreeable. Accomplished all I went for - did not go near any
of the Officials, was fortunate to meet a kind friend, Lucie Harris, who
gave me her pass - 'tis a risk, yet we can accomplish nothing without great
risk at times, I returned the favor by bringing a letter to forward to her
husband, Army of Mobile. I sat up until 8 o'clock last night, arranging
poor Green's mail to forward to the different command. It was a difficult
job, yet a great pleasure to know I had it in my power to rejoice the hearts
of our brave Southern Soldiers - most were Kentucky letters for Breckenridge's
command - the rest were Mo. letters for Johnston's, Polk's, and Maury's
commands. God grant them a safe and speedy trip.
We have glorious news from Dixie - Forrest has completely routed Smith
and Grierson at Okolona - God grant my Bro Eddie may be safe - we hear
his Col. Jeff Forrest was killed. The Yanks are perfectly demoralized,
all that escaped have arrived in Memphis. I never witnessed such a sight
as the stolen negroes, poor deluded wretches - Praise God for this Victory.
February, Sunday 28, 1864
Cloudy and raining all day, much colder than yesterday. Anna Nelson
and myself went to Mrs. Morgan's - I went to take those letters to Cousin
Cambell Edmondson, he left for Dixie, and will see that they are safely
forwarded. Met a great many persons there, all in fine spirits, topic of
conversation our glorious Victory, which was added to this morning by news
that Sherman was in full retreat for Vicksburgh - had not reached Canton,
and we were confident of ruining the whole army as Lee with his Cavalry
force was between him and Vicksburgh - Spare so much bloodshed of
the bravest and best of our Sunny South - Enlighten the minds of the
miserable Yankees, of their sinfullness - drive them from our south!
Oh, just and merciful Savior, give us peace, and our independence -
I received a letter from Dr. Moses and Maj. Price by Mrs. Facklin,
through them heard from my friend Maj. Maclean, with Gen. Price.
Laura and I sat up late tonight, I slept all evening. Still raining -
12 o'clock sleeting, very cold -
February, Monday 29, 1864
The last day of Winter - Gloomy, oh, mercy how dreary, sleeting all
day, the shrubery is all bowed to the earth with the weight of Ice -
all nature is crowned with it, yet it is so gloomy out. There is some
happiness in our household, the two children Mamie and Robert are all life,
though like all children, troublesome and noisy from their imprisonment.
Father and Cousin Frazor have spent the day reading in the Parlor, while
we have, as women generally are, buisy sewing. I fixed Laura's new dress
waiste. The Servants have done little except to try to keep warm and
keep fires in the house. We have seen no one today, therefore have heard
nothing later from our glorious Victory. God bless our noble soldiers,
and protect them from this miserable bad weather -
Tate and Cousin Sallie both very much disapointed not being able to
go to Memphis. Laura and I as usual sat up late. I drew the pattern on
my swiss to braide, she ruffling her Apron - I finished the book of Luke.
March, Tuesday 1, 1864
First day of Spring - Laura awakened me for my breakfast. I looked
out of the window and to my surprise, one of the hardest Snow Storms I
ever saw was prevailing - lasted until 11 o'clock, when the sun shone out
brightly. A more magnificent scene I never witnessed, the forests glistened
like thousands of diamonds, sun set was glorious. It moderated a great
deal, until night when the freeze came again. Laura and I spent the evening
alone, except Beulah and Tippie Dora - buisy sewing. Laura just
finished her ruffled apron - I am really proud of her, she sews so nicely.
I spent the day in Tate's room, braided one width on my white swiss - if
my chest was only stronger, I would enjoy sewing, but oh! I am so weary -
both in body and spirit. My angel Mother, you would not have thought your
two youngest born could grow so indiferent. I pine for a companion, tis
not my fault, she loves me not. My poor old Father, you are all that binds
me here. Helen is to be married, they are all buisy, but do not wish me
to share it - have seen no one, or heard nothing more from Dixie -
March, Wednesday 2, 1864
Bright and beautiful - Ice glittering magnificently - moderating a
great deal, by 12 o'clock all snow gone, real pleasant tonight. Father went
to Mr. Holmes', our victory confirmed by news from below. Mr. Wilson dined
with us, gave the same news Father heard at Mr. H's. Nonconnah out of it's banks, still raining. Tate and Cousin S. very much dissipointed, as they
seem in great haste to go to the City. I sat in Parlor after Mr. Wilson
came, braided another width on my swiss, tis real fascinating work, but oh!
my chest aches so badly, no one but my sainted Mother ever knew or sympathized
with me in this affliction. Laura washed today, although my only
companion she has fallen into the arms of Morpheus, and left me real lonely,
she and Bettie are improving very much in their lessons. Poor Father, he
too is alone. I have forgiven the past, heavenly Father, give me strength
to forget it. Nothing late from Jimmie or Eddie - Lord be with them in
all hours of danger, and bring them safe to us.
March, Thursday 3, 1864
The monotony of our life was somewhat changed today, by a visit from
Lt. Bayard of the 4th U. S. R. to Nannie, he is her cousin, and came this
distance with only six scouts to make a call, they behaved themselves very
well, ate dinner with us - and they all admit our dear Rebel Gen. Forrest
defeated them badly in their raid to Okolona. Decatur Doyle came this
evening from Dixie - Jimmie sailed for Europe the 6th. of Feb. Eddie and
all the boys safe through the fight. Pontotoc suffered very much - Sister
Mary with the two youngest children will start home some time next month.
Col. Jeff Forrest is really killed - Sherman has returned to Vicksburgh.
Our Army of Johnston advancing - Grant reported falling back.
I have been buisy braiding all day, one more width finished - Laura
has provoked me and I feel real cross - she or I one should certainly have
less temper at times. All of them received letters tonight except me, tis
now 10 o'c, and I think I will try and get to sleep early tonight. I
suppose they are all happy in the house, O can never content myself with
the lonely life I lead.
March, Friday 4, 1864
I do wish Nonconnah would fall, and let a visitor from Memphis return
home, for I am always in an ill humor when she is about. Tate and Helen
went over to see Missie Morgan this evening. I have been in Tate's room
all day buisy sewing - almost finished my dress -
Mr. Hildebrand was here today, bro't noting later from Dixie - nor
have we heard anything today. I wish one of the scouts would come, and
bring us some news. It has been very cloudy and disagreeable all day,
this evening we had quite a storm. I received today another batch of letters
from Dixie, to be mailed in Memphis for Yankee land. Decatur told us Gen.
Armstrong had been ordered to Miss. he has taken Mariah to Mobile to be
confined, poor girl I pity her, no Mother or relation to be with her. Laura
as usual nodding, and I feel all alone. Beulah and Tippie Dora also enjoying
their nap. I feel real sick tonight - oh! I am so lonely - what is to be
my fate - oh! God shield me, have I not suffered enough - make my future
bright.
March, Saturday 5, 1864
Nonconnah has fallen at last, and crowds of waggons are passing,
loaded with provisions, in exchange for their cotton. Joanna and Cousin S.
went to town this morning. Mr. Wilson came early and staid until after
dinner with us. Tate, Helen, Nannie & Decatur all spent the day sewing
in my room, Decatur excepted of course from the sewing - we had a pleasant
time. Only this morning I did wish I was a man. I never read a more
insulting note in my life than Father received from Dr. Malone. I will not
stain the page of my book writing of such a dog, and hope God will give
me strength to forgive it -
Cold Water and all streams below so high that we have no communication
with Dixie - therefore have heard no news today. I would give anything if
I could send the things I have for the poor soldiers - poor fellows, I know
they need them - would to heaven I had money to get all I could bring
through the lines. I finished my dress today, and made Laura a beautiful
apron. 12 o'c, no Beulah yet. Laura, Tippie Dora & I alone, they asleep.
March, Sunday 6, 1864
A bright and beautiful day. Tate and Nannie went to Church. Col.
Perkins came home with them to take Nannie home with him. Prior leaves
for the Army in the morning, was anxious to see Nannie before he left.
Tate saw Cousin Cambell, just arrived from Dixie, no news - waters up -
Telegraph all destroyed - floating rumors that Sherman had arrived safely
in Vicksburgh, Forrest moving this way - that is glorious news for us.
Cousin Mat, Frazor and Joanna came from Memphis about 10 o'c. Mary was
delighted with the arrival of Frazor. Joanna went to the Provost Marshall
yesterday to get her a pass, and he started to arrest her, thought it was
me. I heard some good news, she heard one of the 4th. U. S. R. swear
he would shoot old Gibbert, the dutch detective.
I have not received a letter for over two weeks, and expect old
Williams has intercepted them in the Post Office - oh! God, how long,
how long must we suffer -
Beulah has run off again tonight. Laura, Tip and I alone. Laura
and Bettie said a good lesson - we all sat in the Parlour after Tea. One
month today since Jimmie left for Europe.
March, Monday 7, 1864
The quiet of our life was disturbed today by the arrival of 150
Yankees - only two came to the house. We gave them their dinner. Mr.
Wilson and Decatur were down in the Orchard. Helen sent for them to come
and capture the Yanks, we saw the rest coming, & Tate and I ran to tell
them it was too great a risk. Mr. W. and D. were nearly to the gate, I was
never so excited - we turned them in time, the two Yanks passed while we
were standing there. Mr. W. and D. came to the house and spent some time
with us, when Mr. W. followed the Yankees. They returned about 9 o'c on
their way to Memphis. D. and Cousin F. had a run again, with the horses,
but fortunately none of them came in.
I have not done any work today, have suffered death with my spine.
Tate and Helen at work in my room all day - I sat in Tate's room until
bed time. Beulah, Laura, and Tip all in time - I amused myself reading
Artemus Wards book.
We did not hear what the Yanks went for, we heard from Eddie and the
boys, all safe. One of Henderson's scouts arrived.
March, Tuesday 8, 1864
Cousin Mat, Frazor and Joanna went in town this morning. Joanna was
to have returned this evening, did not come. We heard what the Yanks were
after - old Frank the detective carried them to Felix Davis's and took him
and his wife both to Memphis, they are now in the Irving Block, we did not
hear the offence, only 'twas some old grudge he had against Mr. Davis. They
stole a good deal from Widow Hildebrand's but she has taken the oath, and
I don't care much. I pity poor Mr. & Mrs. Davis, they have been so kind
to our Soldiers.
Nannie Perkins came home this morning. Joe Clayton - Memphis Light
Dragoons - came on short furlough. Tate & I are going after Mrs. Clayton
& Hal tomorrow. We all spent the evening in the Parlor, singing and
playing. I am almost crazy with my spine, took a dose of Morphine, I am
in so much pain it does not affect me - All spent day in my room sewing -
Laura and Beulah in, Tip not arrived. Oh! I am so lonely, and suffering
so much.
March, Wednesday 9, 1864
Tate and I went over to Mrs. Clayton early this morning - had to pass
through the Yankee Camp, no trouble, spent the day and came back this evening.
Hal and Dink came with us - Tate's horse threw her, not hurt, I was never
so full of laugh - reached home about dark. After Tea we were all sitting
in the Parlor when in walked Joe Clayton and Mr. McCorkle, our little St.
Louis friend, he has a furlough, and is going to St. Louis and New York
to see his Father and Sister - we were all delighted to see him. All sat
in the Parlor until 11 o'clock, singing, playing and had a real nice time.
Laura and I were not so lonely. Hal shared my little room - I heard of
my letters in town, but could not get any one to bring them to me. Mr.
Wilson took one of those Yankees prisoner the other evening, and got him
a fine Saddle and Bridle, so he has made up for his loss at the Party. Oh!
I am suffering so much with my spine, what is to become of me -
Mrs. Dupre arrived from Dixie, sent Helen two letters by me. I was
so much disappointed that I did not get one. I expect my friends will
all forget me now that I cannot run to Memphis and bring what they want.
March, Thursday 10, 1864
Mr. McCorkle and Tate went to Memphis this morning. I hope he may
have a safe and pleasant trip. Cousin Frazor left for Dixie this morning.
We were delighted to see Mr. Wilson and Harbert this evening, they staid with us until after Tea, bro't a letter from Eddie and Bro. George. Tate
was kind enough ti bring my letters from Memphis, one from Miss Em, two were
for Surg Lenord from Mo to my care. Our house is crowded tonight. Mrs.
Clayton and Hal share my room. I sat up very late, wrote to Maj. Price &
Dr. Moses. No Yanks near today. I have suffered, no one can tell how
much, with my spine. Mr. Bob Wallace and friend came to spend the night
with us. I am so lonely and my spine hurts me so much I can't sew, and
it is impossible to fix my mind on any reading for ten minutes, in the
excitement we live in. I am unhappy and I tremble for fear there is something
more fatal to befall me, as the Spine so much influences the brain.
Beulah and Tip and Laura all here, sat up until 12 o'clock.
March, Friday 11, 1864
Mrs. Clayton, Hal and Dink all went home this morning - Mr. Wallace
& friend left. Decatur Doyle and Joe Clayton both left for Dixie - they
both got all they came for. It has seemed quite lonely all day. I have
been compelled to lie down most of the day with my spine, it is getting
worse all the time. Tate & Helen sat in my room all day sewing. I am
happy that poor Father can have some quiet now. I sat in the Parlor a
little while after Tea - have spent the evening in my own lonely little room.
Laura and Bettie said a good lesson - I tried to keep Laura awake, but she
noded so, it worried me, and I sent her to bed. Tip is also asleep, and
Beulah has not yet made her appearance. I wrote to Miss Em tonight, tis
half past twelve - and I feel afraid. Joanna would not let me have the
key to lock my door, two robbers were killed near here yesterday, the
Country is full of them - oh! God protect me. One year ago Mrs. Bredell
& I arrived in Granada - Wednesday.
March, Saturday 12, 1864
Tate and Bettie went to Memphis this morning, did not succeed in
getting anything through the lines, the Picket was very insulting to her.
She brought me a letter, but not for myself, only my care, to Mr. Lawson
in Henderson's scouts. I forwarded it to Capt. H. also a package of late
papers, by Mr. Harbut, who spent the evening with us. We all sat in the
Parlor, and have had a pleasant evening. Mr. Harbut vacxinated Father,
Helen, Nannie and I , also Jane and Laura. I have made the skirt to my
swiss Mull, and fixed me a beautiful braid pattern, and drew on the skirt
ready for my work on Monday morning. I have not suffered much with my spine
today, though only on account of taking Morphine last night, which has
made me insensible to the pain. 11 o'clock, so I will to bed - no Beulah.
Father gave me a key today. Tippie Dora & Laura both here.
March, Sunday 13, 1864
Hopes, what are they? Beads of morning
Strung on Slender blades of Grass,
Sweet is hope's wild warbled air
But oh! - it's echo is despair!
Today is the first anniversary of the happiest day in my life - just
one short year ago, twas then on Friday morning, he came for me to walk on
the hill to listen to the echoes of our triumph at Fort Pemberton
(Greenwood) - I rushed on to meet my fate, oh! God that it had never
overtaken me - yet tis the brightest spot in my sad life - his love - in
reviewing my diary for '63 I find in this day a quotation from Raphael
which has indeed found its moral. Oh! who in the course of his life has
not felt some joy without a security, and without the certainty of a morrow.
Time hath power over hours, none over the soul. Time had power over his
heart, yet none over my true and holy love. Today he wooes the daughter
of a more sunny clime - Miss Sallie Anderson of Mobile, may she never know
the pangs of a deceived heart - I have spent the day alone in my little
room, finished the book of John - bright and beautiful, though rather cool.
Laura and Bettie went to Mrs. Wilson's, all the whole family walking and
enjoying themselves - tis just four o'clock - I will wait until after Tea
to finish. I sat in the Parlor with the Father after Tea. Laura and Bettie
speeled at Baker tonight - No Beulah or Tip - Laura & I alone. Oh! my
heavenly Father humble my heart, and give me Christian patience.
March, Monday 14, 1864
I have had a miserable cold, and not fit for society - yet we have
been delighted by the visit of a Rebel Major, Maj. Allen, who spent the
day with us. I tried to braid on my dress, only a little while, my spine
pained me teribly. Maj. A. went down to Col. Perkins to stay until Thursday,
when I will have returned from Memphis - having attended to his wants. Mr.
Wilson and Harbut came this evening. Mr. Harbut has brought him a new horse
very pretty one. Poor Anna, I think Mr. Wilson ought to give her rest -
they staid right late, we had a pleasant evening - music, conversation, &c.
Anna Nelson and I have made our arrangements to go into Memphis tomorrow
and not return till next day. Oh! Lord, deliver me from getting in any
trouble with the Yanks, this will be a hard trip, I have a great risk to
run. No Beulah tonight, I think she has forsaken her post. Laura and
Tip both here nodding. I feel like I had been stewed - oh! God, protect,
guide and make me a good girl.
March, Tuesday 15, 1864
Anna Nelson and I started to Memphis about 9 o'clock, suffered very
much with the cold, stoped at Mr. Roberts to warm - from there we passed
through the Pickets to the Pigeon Rooste Road - found Mr. Harbut's after
much searching - did not reach Memphis until 10 o'clock, left out horse &
buggy at Mr. Barbier's, went up town - and not one thing would the Merchants
sell us. because we did not live in their lines. I consoled myself with
a wheel that could not turn - could not spin - went to see my friend Mrs.
Facklen, she went up town and bought the things for me - poor deluded
fools, I would like to see them thwart a Southerner in such an undertaking
as I had. Spent a very pleasant evening with Mrs. Facklen's family - all
rebels, and we talked just as we please! -
Mrs. F. and I did not go to sleep until 2 o'c, this being the first
time I had seen her since she returned from Dixie. I have finished all my
provisions, and will have nothing to do tomorrow except fixing my things
for smuggling.
March, Wednesday 16, 1864
Went up Street directly after Breakfast to finish a little job I
forgot on yesterday. At one o'clock Mrs. Facklen, Mrs. Kirk and I began
to fix my articles for smugling, we made a balmoral of the Grey cloth for
uniform, pin'd the Hats to the inside of my hoops - tied the boots with a
strong list, letting them fall directly in front, the cloth having monopolized
the back & the Hats the side - All my letters, brass buttons,
money, &c in my bosom - left at 2 o'clock to meet Anna at Mr. Barbie's -
started to walk, impossible that - hailed a hack - rather suspicious of it,
afraid of small-pox, weight of contrabands ruled - jumped in, with orders
for a hurried drive to Cor Main & Vance - arrived, found Anna not ready,
had to wait for her until 5 o'clock, very impatient - started at last -
arrived at Pickets, no trouble at all, although I suffered horribly in
anticipation of trouble. Arrived at home at dusk, found Mr. Wilson &
Harbut, gave them late papers and all news. Mrs. Harbut here to meet
her Bro. bro't Mr. Wilson a letter from Home in Ky. Worn out. 8 yds.
Long cloth, 2 Hats, 1 pr Boots, 1 doz. Buttons, letters, &c. 2 Cords, 8
tassels.
Laura, Beulah & Tippie Dora, all in.
March, Thursday 17, 1864
My cold is no better - miserably hoarse, got up rather late. Laura
brought my breakfast to my room, fixed my work to go in the Parlor - found
Mr. Wilson & Mr. Harbut arrived - All buisy sewing, laughing & talking, -
when the Yankees were reported coming, Mr. W. & H in the greatest haste
retreated through the Garden, left their horses - the report was a mistake,
it being Maj. Phil Allin - All quiet again, enjoying ourselves very much.
Maj. Allin liked his Hats very much. Mr. Harbut, Sr. & Mr. Redford came -
after a little Mr. Falls and Miss McKinney, they brought the rest of Maj.
Allin's clothes. Mr. Wilson left early to start a currier below - the
rest remained until after dinner then returned to Memphis. Mr. Harbut &
Maj. Allin staid late, left together, oh! how I hate to see the last
Grey Coat disappear. Father and I sat alone in the Parlor after Tea.
Laura, Beulah & Tip all in tonight, all asleep except I. I shall read
myself into the arms of Morpheus - When, oh! when will it be bright, my
Savior I trust in thee, hope & faith oh! God give me strength -
March, Friday 18, 1864
One of the loveliest days I ever spent, bright and beautiful. I have
been very buisy braiding my dress. finished 1 1/2 yd. it is very fascinating
work, and with my natural abhorance of sewing I think this particular kind
would give me much pleasure, if it were not for my miserable old spine.
I am suffering intensely tonight from my hard days work. I fixed Mr. Noe's
grave this evening, it is a lovely spot but oh! so sad, my heart aches
when I think of his long suffering, and so young, taken from his poor widowed
Mother. Oh! God drive those miserable wretches from our Sunny land, and
give us freedom and peace. I have been alone today except Laura sewing.
Tate came twice to sew on the machine - Joanna & Anna Wilson went to town
this morning, got back safe, no late news. Mr. Wallace, Henry Wilson &
friend were here to Tea. I came to my room very early - heard Bettie's &
Laura's lessons. Beulah and Tippie Dora both here - read myself to sleep -
March, Saturday 19, 1864
Today has been just as gloomy as yesterday was bright - cold, windy
& cloudy. Helen & Nannie had a general cleaning up in the house. Laura
was unusually particular about my room, kept me waiting until dinner time
to get to my sewing. I made up for lost time, finished one width of braiding,
and drew the rest of the pattern off. I don't know what I shall do,
if I am to spend so much of my time alone - no companion except my sewing,
which is almost too much food for a mind in the present state of my own -
however, tis all for the best, God's will, not mine be done.
Tate & Anna Nelson went to town this morning, got back safe. Mr.
Eyrich sent me a nice lot of papers, Tate brought me a letter, as usual not
my own, from Capt. Hoenstein to his wife in Mobile. No late news.
Laura & Bettie recited a very good lesson tonight - everything in my
room statu quo. Anna Wilson did not come, went with Helen & Nannie upstairs.
March, Sunday 20, 1864
Another Sabath passed, and I read only eight Chapters in my Bible -
first of the Acts - I did not get up until rather late. Laura brought me
a nice, warm breakfast to my room. I don't know what I should do if it
were not for her. A disagreeable day, cloudy, gloomy and real cold. I
spent the morning alone in the Parlor reading. Mr. Wilson & Mr. Harbut
arrived about 12 o'clock. No news, except that which we regreted very much.
Gen. Chalmers relieved of his command, ordered to report to Gen. Polk,
Misouri. McCulock takes his place - Forrest is on the wing again, no one
knows where to - God bless Eddie and keep him safe, wherever they may go.
Tate, Nannie, Helen & Mollie Strange all went to Church - got back
late of course, were delighted to see our Scouts. Mr. Wilson is going to
Camp tomorrow, I am so sorry. I had a nice bundle of papers to send Capt.
Henderson, one also to Dr. Moses. Oh! if I was only sleepy, and nothing
to read - what shall I do - Laura, Beulah & Tip all asleep.
March, Monday 21, 1864
Wake'd up almost sufocating with the Smoke - wind from the East. Laura
had to throw all the fire out of the stove. Began my work early, nothing
to disturb me all day - finished two widths on my dress in braiding. Sat
in the Parlor, no companion. Father came in once or twice, sat in his easy
chair and read. Laura & I sat an old Goose this evening, and I think she
acted her name to perfection about the nest we fixed for her - how cold
today, it is real winterish. I am afraid we will not have much fruit this
year. I sat in the Parlor a little while after Tea - Father was reading,
so I thought my own little room much more agreeable, as the rest all went
in Tate's room.
Beulah has run off again tonight, and I expect will certainly get
herself in trouble. Bettie and Laura in the same old style with their
spelling lesson - all over, and here I sit alone, rocking, rocking, rocking -
with the few embers in the grate my only reflection to the thousand thoughts
which crowd my poor, clouded mind - oh! for sleep, deep sleep to relieve me.
March, Tuesday 22, 1864
Sunshine has greeted us once more - it has been a lovely day. Nannie
& Annie Nelson went to town this morning, got back safe.
No news - Mr.
Eyrich sent me the late papers - I sent them on to Capt.
Henderson by Mr.
Harbut, he spent the day with us - his Bro & Mr. Redford
came down to meet
him, brought him a fine horse. We all spent the day in the Parlor. I
finished braiding my dress - just as we had finished Tea,
and were quietly
chatting in the Parlor, - Peter ran hurriedly in and announced Jim Titus
and Mr. Jack Doyle - of course we were all astonished,
imagined Forrest
near, and many other such ideas, ran out to meet them,
instead of Mr. Doyle
met old Boss Pugh, we were delighted to see them,
but sorry to hear Forrest
had passed us and gone to Jackson, Tenn.
Jim & Mr. Pugh have only a short
leave to see us, and then return to Columbus,
where part of the command are.
Eddie went with Forrest, I expect we will hear
glorious news from him in
a few days - God grant successful may be his career.
Sat up rather late -
as usual, my little family all right.
March, Wednesday 23, 1864
Tate & I went to Memphis this morning bright and early - stoped at
Mrs. Apperson's first - from there to Cousin Frazor.
Tate met me at Mrs.
Worsham's room, we then went up street, walked
until three o'clock, attended
to all affaires entrusted to our care, ready to leave at half past three -
all of the Yankee Cavalry moveing, destination not known - could hear no
particulars, think they are going after Forrest, who we think is on his
way to Kentucky. The Yankees are evidently on a great fright about something.
God grant they may be defeated in all their undertakings. We came through
white Pickets - I think we will not try them again - the Negroes are ten
times more lenient - We came by Wash Taylor's, got two hats for soldiers -
came through Yankee Camp, if the Lord forgives me I will never do it again.
Yankee Soldier drove our horse in Nonconnah for us - seemed to be a gentleman,
for which we were very grateful - found Mr. Harbut awaiting our report.
Mr. John & Henry Nelson & Mr. Harbut took Tea with us. Jim & Mr. Pugh
completed the list for a nice Rebel meeting - brought a great deal through
lines this eve - Yankee Pickets took our papers -
March, Thursday 24, 1864
I slept very late this morning - had breakfast in my room - I would
rather have slept than have the choicest dishes from old Schwab's. Ready
at last, arrived in the Parlor, found Jim & Mr. Pugh with the girls having
a nice time - spent the morning fixing my old Bombazine dress. Enjoyed
my dinner finely, did not stay in the Parlor very long after dinner, came
to my room and prepared for a nice evening siesta with London Papers for
my companion - soon fell into the arms of Morpheus, slept soundly, but
have had no spirit since awakening. Joanna got back from Memphis, bringing
Mammy to see Prince. Anna Nelson will ride her Boo, a horse, through the
lines tomorrow. Mr. Harbut came early this eve, I left them all in the
Parlor - Father allows them to sit up late, as he is reading the papers -
I got tired and came to my room, but found it very cheerless, no fire,
smoking. Laura, Beulah & Tip all asleep - oh! I am so lonely - I feel
a presentiment something good is going to turn up for the Confederacy -
God bless my dear Bros, and bring them safe home again.
March, Friday 25, 1864
As usual late, and breakfast in my room, found Nannie, Jim & Mr. Pugh
having a nice time in the Parlor - have not done any work scarcely, only
hem'd Eddie two handkerchiefs - Mr. Pugh and I had a game of drafts - I
beat him the best three in five. Helen & Joanna went over to Mr. Armstrong's,
did not hear any late news, Mr. Harbut came this evening, he had no news,
no curior up for several days - heard from Mr. McMahon, in 2d. Mo Cav, he
is very sick, and can't tell when he will come for his cloth and boots.
Mr. Matthews, a soldier from Jackson Cavalry is staying with us tonight,
Mr. Harbut stayed too, and we have spent a very pleasant evening. Jim &
Boss Pugh the life of the party. Father was very lenient with us tonight,
let us sit up until 11 o'clock - we Rebels are having a gay time, although
the Yankee Camp is only three miles off. God bless our servants, for they
are certainly very faithful. Laura is sitting in a chair now, fast asleep -
Bettie did not wait to say her lesson. Beulah and Tippie Dora both sleep -
here I sit, solitary and alone - my mind giving birth to a thousand thoughts
yet none mature. God bless my Brothers, and oh! make me a better and
more useful woman -
March, Saturday 26, 1864
Today everything in commotion, as it is a general cleaning up day.
Laura did not give me possession of my room until 12 o'clock - have not
set a stitch in sewing today. Mr. Pugh and I spent the morning playing
Drafts - I beat him badly. After dinner he very kindly offered to fix my
lock, so he & I with Gimlet and other instruments proceed to my little
domicile to accomplish the task. I think I shall recommend him as a No 1
Carpenter - although he filled my eyes with sawdust - he fixed it very
securely and nice - and I shall always think of and bless him, at the still
hour of night, when thoughts and fears of a raide from the Yankees or Robbers
are soothed only with it's security, as my faithful slave Laura, my dog
Beulah, & kitty Tippie Dora, are always securely in the arms of Morpheus.
I feel so much better about our affairs, I think the bright day is fast
approaching. Tate & Anna Nelson got safe from Memphis - Anna got her Bro's horse through the lines - We have glorious news from Forrest, tomorrow I
will give full particulars. God bless my Bro who is with him.
March, Sunday 27, 1864
Rather lazy, as it was Sunday - Laura fixed me a very nice breakfast
which I enjoyed in my room. Helen & Nannie went
home with Anna Nelson, all
rode horseback, the girls did not stay very long. I spent the morning
reading my Bible, finished the Acts today - took a long
walk after dinner,
with Beulah as a companion - she enjoyed it very much, especially the creek.
Tate & Helen went to ride over on the Plank Road
this evening, they did not
hear any news - Mr. Harbut came this evening,
brought me a package of
letters from Capt. Henderson, to be mailed in Memphis,
also a note for
myself from the Capt, with it a Dixie newspaper,
which I shall carry to
Mr. Eyrich. I sent Capt. H. a package of Yankee
papers in return. Forrest
captured Union City Thursday, taking 800
prisoners. God grant he may be
successful in all his attempts to gain our lost teritory. The Yanks as yet
have not started after him, oh! heaven keep my Bro safe - All my little
household asleep, and I am lonely, oh! so lonely. Staid in Parlor until
10 o'c, Father made us all retire - Mr. Harbut, Mr. Pugh & Jim he took
with him -
March, Monday 28, 1864
Tate and Anna Nelson went to Memphis this morning - got back safe
Mr. Tommerry gave Tate up all of her things the U. S. G. confiscated, she
brought them all safe through the lines, they belong to Mr. Wallace, who
will be delighted to hear they are recovered. Mr. Harbut & Jim went off
scouting, did not return until late this evening. We have had glorious
news today - Mo. McCulloch captured Germantown, & still moving forward.
Forrest is having glorious victory in Kentucky - Hickman & Paducah, both
held by our forces - the Yanks are shelling Paducah. We are not afraid of
Gun Boats - Father of justice and mercy, crown our armies with victory,
drive the wicked tyrants from our Sunny land - we humbly crave thy pardon
& blessing - oh! give us peace - guide my Bros, protect them from harm.
I made my white swiss skirt, played drafts with Mr. Pugh, he beat me
badly - trimed the Rose trees - have spent a very pleasant day -
and am
so happy tonight after the good news - God bless
our dear Soldiers and Officers.
I worship Jeff Davis and every Rebel in Dixie -
March, Tuesday 29. 1864
A merry heart maketh a cheerful
countenance; but by sorrow of heart
the spirit is broken - Proverbs -
I am sitting in my little room alone, with the exception of my little
family, who are more inclined to the silent embrace
of Morpheus than any
pleasures the quiet of my own society could give. Father was tired, went
to his room early, gave us permission to sit up until 11 o'clock. I
availed myself of it for a short time - finally withdrew to a more quiet
scene, leaving Mr. Harbut, Mr. Pugh and Jim together with the girls, haveing a gay time. I have spent the day, how? I think it is how, Mr. Pugh & I
played drafts most of the time, he beat me badly. I wonder in after years
if I can recall this day, and imagine the same feeling of je ne sais quoi which I have experienced, there is a bright day fast approaching, I can't
say why, but I feel it - oh! my beautiful savior, only teach my heart to
be pure and good, let no unholy thought or action lead me astray oh! keep
me near thee, let thy influence and protection guide me from wickedness,
in the paths of righteousness - hasten the day I am to be free from this
melancholy - then I will prove my punishment has been great enough, and
through my afflictions I am a child of God - oh! give me thy love, make
me a christian. God bless my Brothers, and my dear old Father -
March, Wednesday 30, 1864
It seems I can never go to Memphis
without some disagreeable arrangements
and sayings. I was greatly disappointed in my trip. Tate and I went
together. I stoped at Mrs. Facklen's on Union St. - she went on up to
Cousin Frazor's in the buggy - Mrs. Facklen
and Mrs. Kirk in great distress,
old Hurbbut gave her ten days to abandon her house, she took and old Yankee
Officer, his Wife & two children to board with her,
hoping he would recall
the heartless order to make her and her little children homeless. I did
not smuggle a thing through the lines, except some letters. Mr.
Tommery gave me a permit to bring 2 Gals Whiskey and 5 bbs Tobacco -
which I got home safely. Frazor came out in the buggy with me, Cousin
Mat and Tate came together, we did not have any trouble at all - they
all sat up very late in the Parlor, I came to my room early. Jim and Mr.
Pugh came with me to try my whiskey - which they pronounced very good.
I received a letter from Mrs. Moses today - and am really distressed
she did not receive the last I forwarded to her. Forrest is having his
own way in Kentucky - God grant Eddie may be safe.
March, Thursday 31, 1864
Laura awakened me standing by the bed with my breakfast. I was too
sleepy to eat, and only drank my Coffee. I have felt very badly all day,
did not do any sewing, lying down most of the day. Mr. Pugh, Jim and Mr.
Harbut with Jim's body guard the Prince of darkness, left for Dixie. Mr.
Harbut is to meet the other Scouts a few miles below here, where they will
all cross the R. R. together, joining Capt. Henderson somewhere in Tenn -
all of troops have crossed Charlston R. R. and I expect we will hear glorious
news in the nest few days. Jim & Mr. Pugh are trying to find a way to join
Forrest, they had not been gone more than five minutes when four Yankees,
belonging to 6th, Ill. Cav. came riding in, asked if we had seen any
Confederate Soldiers, of course we said no. I think they came to steal, but
we were polite to them, and they left - only wanted some milk, which they
got. Tate & Nannie went to town today, Mr. Perryman got them a pass - they
got home safe, but saw Anna Nelson and Sallie Hildebrand arrested and carried
back with a Negro guard, for smugling a pr of boots -
Forrest is still moveing onward through Ky, having everything his
own way. I came to my room early. A terible rainstorm raging - my pets
all in. May my heart still be humble, and trust that God will, in his own
time, brighten my life and happines -
April, Friday 1, 1864
A gloomy day, raining, cold, and dreary. I have managed to exist,
have not done much sewing. I came to my room after dinner, and spent the
evening reading the Caxton's - although quite an old book, I have never
read it. I began with high expectations, and recommendations, as Bulwer's
best - must confess I was greatly disapointed. I think ‘What will he do
with it ?’ is one of the best novels I ever read - with that as my last
remembrance of Bulwer, it would scarce be expected I could admire old Mr.
Caxton's eccentric disposition, or Ladie Caxton's great lack of spirit,
through fear of her liege lord - Beulah was my companion - I could not
listen to her distressed whine, unfastened her chain, she went out as I
came to my room after tea, and has not yet returned. I fear they will all
get into trouble, poor Beulah, she is my best friend, but I do not think
she has many friends outside of my own little room. Laura and Bettie said
a very good lesson - Laura and Tippie Dora both asleep. No late news from
Forrest. I am so lonely, how long oh! Lord, how long must I wait -
April, Saturday 2, 1864
Ever memorable and (to me ) sad day. I was awakened this morning by the
pitious howl of poor Fosco - as I feared when Beulah left the room,
they all killed seven sheep last night. Uncle Elum knocked Fosco in
the head, Beulah ran to my room, thereby saving her life - Father sent
for her, and then came for her - but oh! he knew not what he asked - to
give my dog - my best friend - my Beulah, who had so often defended me
in danger, my only protector in the dead hour of night - to drive her from
my side, to be murdered. I would as soon thought of kneeling myself on
the block, as to see my best friend. Father positively forbid my takeing her off - I hope God will forgive me for the disobedience, but I was obliged
to do it. Mary Robinson and Joe Smith took her to Memphis in the buggy to
Ed and Rhoda. I know they will love her - none of them sympathise or
appreciate the sorrow it gave me to part with poor Beulah. Old Wright's
drunken son has been prowling all over the place tonight, shot Ben's dog,
Edmondson's battery both white and black started after him, met him in the
lane, he cocked his gun and flourished it - cowardly dog, sneaked off after
that. Laura, Tip and I all alone, oh! my poor, poor Beulah, how can I do
without you -
April, Sunday 3, 1864
This has been a sad and lonely day for me - I miss my poor Beulah so
much. Tippie Dora has not come tonight, so Laura and I are all alone. Tate,
Joanna, Nannie, Robert, and Uncle Elum all went to Church. Father went up
to Mr. Hildebrand's, Helen was at home, spent the morning in her own room.
My sainted Mother, how different from what you wished, to see your two youngest
born so widely separated, both in thought & feeling - it is not my fault,
I pine for a companion, yet she is happier with those of her choice -
I spent the morning in Father's big chair, reading. I read the book
of Romans, Father returned but had no news. We have not heard from Forrest
since he crossed the Cumberland at Eddyville. God grant us success throughout
the State, and return my Bro safe to us once again. I spent the morning
alone, grieving for my lost friend - just one week ago this eve I had a long
walk, with her as companion, but now I, oh! it makes no difference to any
one but myslef, why do I thus complain. A hard storm of rain and wind is
raging. Laura learning her lesson. Bettie did not come tonight. Father
of mercy give me hope, brighten my life, oh! give me a companion, or my
mind is lost. Thy will, not mine oh! Lord be done - Tip just arrived
April, Monday 4, 1864
The days now passing are of so much paine and unhappiness to me, it
is with the greatest difficulty I can have patience at night to make a record
of my sad life. The weather today as gloomy as my feelings - cold and
drizzling. Anna Nelson spent the morning, I went in to sit with her, did not
stay long - oh! for happiness and peace - there is no love or sympathy for
me there. I did not sit in the Parlor long after Tea - Father retired
early - Laura and Bettie had a very good lesson - Laura now deep in slumber.
Tippie Dora in bed asleep, but my poor Beulah, alas, the best of friends
must part - I am alone, all alone, there is a mournful spell in the heart
echo of that simple word, even when it bounds through the warm blood of
youth! - I have thought until my brain feels like a burning fire - it
is 1 o'clock, yet where is sleep or rest for my weary spirit - oh!
heavenly Father, have I not suffered enough - remove this trouble, and
if I am not humble then return it to me. Oh! try me once again, bless
me and brighten my hopes - and guide and lead me in the paths of Righteousness.
April, Tuesday 5, 1864
I was awakened at daylight by a servant with a note from Miss Hudson
who has succeeded in getting all she wants out of Memphis, and promised to
take the things I had for Mrs. Hudson to her. I regreted not having all
the things through the lines, but sent what I had - Although awakened, I
did not think it too late to take a nice little nap - which thanks to Laura
lasted until 10 o'clock. Breakfast I have no taste for, yet as Laura
brought it to my room, I tried to treat it with politeness -
Nannie, Helen and Father were all gone to the funeral of Mrs. Barton's
little girl. I spent the remainder of the morning alone, met all at dinner,
no deffinite news, some say Forrest has returned, I think though tis only
prisoners sent through - Sewed some today, all together a dull, lonely
time. Tip and Laura as usual asleep - I thinking, and wondering when I
can be relieved - God be with me, Guide, protect and make me a christian -
April, Wednesday 6, 1864
Laura awakened me this morning with the news that Beulah was at my
door - oh! it seems there is always something to trouble me. Father
allowed her to be chained, and so far has not killed her. We were very much
surprised this morning by the arrival of five of Forrest's men - Eddie &
Elb leading the advance, while Capt. Jim Barber, Capt. Farrell & Mr. John
Kirk brought up the rear - oh! I was so happy, we have spent a delightful
day, have taken it time about standing Picket, with the horses hid in the
woods - Geo. Anderson came running up, had just had a nice race with the
Yankees - in a little while Joanna & Nannie came from town with the news
the Yanks were camping on Horn Lake creek tonight, having heard Forrest
had a good many of his men in here on leave - they will have to be right
smart if they get our five, with the assistance of Edmondson's battery
for Pickets - We all sat up very late, I left them in the Parlor - tis
so much happiness to see so many of our Rebel friends - oh! I am happy,
yet miserable, my heart is never free from pain, have mercy upon me, oh!
my savior, guide and give me happiness -
April, Thursday 7, 1864
I feel dull and stupid this morning - We have had a happy day, although
the Yankees are still down the road.
Tate and Nannie went to the Pickets this morning, were turned back,
the lines closed. Capt. Barber & Mr. Kirk cannot get their things. I had
not the heart to see them disapointed, so rob'd old Mr. McMahon of 2d. Mo.
Mr. Kirk took his Boots, Capt. Barber his uniform. I will get him more
through the lines before he comes for them. I beat Capt. Farrell two games
of Chess tonight, Father let us sit up just as late as we wanted to, and
we had a delightful evening. Nannie &c very buisy sewing all day. Nannie
& I made two shirts for a Kentucky'n who is so far from home, and no one
to take an interest in his need. I sent him a pair of Pants too -
Joanna, Helen, & Tate made Eddie two - oh! I would give anything if
I had it in my power to give them everything they need.
My poor Beulah is fast asleep at my feet, tomorrow I must give her up
again, thank heavens Father is not going to kill her. All my little household
all quiet in slumber.
April, Friday 8, 1864
A bright and beautiful day, yet a lonely one, our Rebel friends left
us - and my poor Beulah was taken away again. Helen & Nannie went over
to Mr. Harbut's, and took her to Willie Duke. Capt. Barber, Capt. Farrell,
Mr. Kirk, Eddie and Elb went over on the Plank Road nearly to Nonconnah,
did not see any Yanks, heard of a squad going into Memphis just before them,
they came back just before dinner, did not have time to wait, as Laura was
just done churning, they drank heartily of Buttermilk. I made them each
a nice julep, they went off in fine spirits, yet I can never answer for one sad
heart they left behind. I went to sleep after dinner, and slept until very
late. Poor Mr. Noe, just two years today since he was wounded - I decked
his grave with flowers, and his suffering during the eleven weeks I nursed
him, after his wound, until the time of his death, were ever present in my
mind. Father and I sat in the Parlor a short time after supper. Laura
and Bettie worried me a great deal with their lesson. Poor Beulah, I miss
her so much - will my troubles never cease, hope is my Talisman - every
dark cloud hath it's silvery lining -
April, Saturday 9, 1864
What strange weather. cold, bitter cold & raining. Laura awakened
me with the news that Lieut. Buchanon of 2 Mo. Cav. with two of his men were
here. I hastened to dress, as I expected they would have some news - they
came here last night about 6 o'clock to see if we could tell them anything
about the Pickets. I dressed and went in the Parlor, he did not stay very
long, had twenty men with him on an expedition to capture Cav Pickets -
I regreted to learn from him this morning they had failed - they took
french leave, we thought we heard the Yanks coming, they did not get this
far, rob'd poor old Mr. Isbell of all his meat, and a great deal of corn, -
fourteen in the squad, how I wish those Mo's could have known it in time
to have captured them. Oh! mercy, I am so lonely - have not sewed much
today, sat in the Parlor with Father a little while after tea. Poor
Father, his heart is as sad as my own. L. & B. did not say a lesson
tonight. Laura, Tip and I all alone, poor, poor Beulah - I sat up very
late, alone, ah! the hearts echo of that simple word.
April, Sunday 10, 1864
Oh! what a relief to the weary, aching brain, when there seems naught for
which to live; when this beautiful earth holds no joy; when the glorious
sunsets, with their rose tinted clouds have no beauty; when our lifes barks
seem drifting ceaselessly on, and we are powerless for good or ill - oh!
what a relief to lie down, and closing our eyes, forget it all. To feel that
at least while we slumber the scorpion-sting of memory is robbed of it's
poison, - the goading, burning lash of human thought stayed, - and then
comes a day, glareing again, - and so it goes on to the bitter end. We are
all alike in this wicked human world. Let us strive as we will to soar
above it, at last it all comes back to us - human hearts full of passion,
love, and beauty - full of sin, sorrow, and suffering; the world overflowing
with good and ill. Sometimes in life our value is appreciated,
and we can claim true, affectionate, friends, - meet with lofty, generous
souls, whose very beings thrill with instinctive love for the whole human
race; but mostly we are not understood until the flowers and shadowy, green
grass bloom and fade above us, and we lie mute below. Such is my life, how
long it must be, no matter, God in his own good time will brighten my life.
A beautiful day. Col. Perkins and Jimmie Greer spent the day with us,
Helen & Nannie came home. I finished Corinthians - Father and all of us
sat in the Parlor after tea. Laura & Bettie said a very good lesson. I
am as usual alone, my two companions fast in slumber. God grant peace, we
humbly crave, give us our liberty and make us a christian land. God bless
my Brothers -
April, Monday 11, 1864
Helen, Father, the children and myself spent the day alone, the rest
all in Memphis. Joanna came home, succeeded in getting Father's permit for
supplies, brought no late news. Miss Perdue & Noble banished, leave
tomorrow. I expect I will be next. I was so happy to hear Miss Em is
expected today, my future plans depend upon her advice. Tate & Nannie staid in M. all night. Col. Overton came to see us today, just up from Dixie, -
everybody hopeful and confident of a bright day soon. Mr. McMahon, 2d.
Mo Cav came this eve. I was so disapointed about letting his things go -
though he seemed perfectly satisfied, as he had replenished his wardrobe
from Yankee Prison in Grierson's raids, he has been quite sick, is now
on his way to Camp at Jackson, Tenn - he has his fine horse again. God
grant him a safe journey, for he is a splendid Soldier. Gen. Armstrong
with his brigade at Water Valley moving up - Ah! God is just, and I
feel that we have not suffered in vain. We humbly pray for a cessation
of this horrible war, oh! give us our independence & peace - We all sat
in the parlor right late, Mr. Mc went further below. Tip & Laura both
sleep, poor Beulah, I wonder where she is -
April, Tuesday 12, 1864
Mr. Jim Rogers arrived from Texas today, he and Mr. Farrer came over,
Col. Perkins, Jimmie Greer and Col. Overton spent the day. Capt. Bissel
was here, left two Pistols for me to take care of until he came back the
last of the week. I went with Col. Overton over to Mr. Bray's, he took
me to protect him from the Yankees, we had a terible trip, he went on down
to Col. Perkins, we heard there was a Yankee Negro Soldier dead on Day's
Creek, so Bettie, Kate, Robert and Mary & myself started in search. We
found him, and it was an awful sight, he was in the Water in full uniform,
his napsack on the bank of the creek, oh! I would give anything if I had
not seen it. I have not done any sewing, house full of Company all day.
I received a letter from Maj. Price and Mrs. Hudson, one to forward from
Dixie, two from Memphis, one for Mr. Sam Wilson, one from Mo. to be
forwarded to a Soldier to Mo. Brigade - No later news from Forrest, the
Yanks in Memphis are frightened to death, think he is coming there. Miss
Em has not come, I was so disapointed. Tate and Nannie got home. Bettie
and Laura had a very good lesson -
April, Wednesday 13, 1864
This has indeed been an exciting day, heavy fireing all last night &
this morn. Forrest has captured Fort Pillow - still in his possession up
to this evening dispatches captured on yesterday, the fireing we heard was
between the Fort and Gun Boats, the Yanks in Memphis are frightened to
death - a squad of 15 came and made us feed them and their horses - staid here nearly three houres, hateful old thieves. I wish a squad of Confederates
had come and captured the last one of them - they stole Mr. Wither's horses -
Late this evening 9 of our soldiers passed the gate, too late to get those
rogues, yet I think we will hear from them on Nonconnah very soon -
Tate, Annie Nelson and Joanna, with Uncle Elum and the wagon went to
town, succeeded in getting through Father's supplies and a good many
things, the Yanks stole three hats out of the wagon in Nonconnah bottom,
oh! how I hate them - Col. Overton came, Nannie went down to Col. Perkins
with him. Mr. Henry Nelson & Mr. J. Hilderbrand came to see us after tea.
I have not sewed much today. L. & B. said no lesson. Thank God for the
glorious news today - oh! that my Bro may be safe.
April, Thursday 14, 1864
A comparitively quiet day to yesterday, cold, cloudy and disagreeable.
I have spent it with little use to myself, or any one else - done no sewing
at all. Mr. Rogers spent the day with us, brought no late news. Col.
Overton and Anna Perkins came after dinner, staid a very short while -
Anna Nelson & Rebecka Robinson came by and borrowed a horse to go to Memphis -
we did not hear whether they returned or not - indeed we have heard nothing
reliable today. Father heard a rumor this evening that our Virginia Gen.
(Robert Lee) had ruined the left wing of Grant's Army - God grant it may
be so. Grant is a fool to think he can whip Gen. Lee. Gen. Stephen Lee
is at LaGrange, Gen. Forrest still at Fort Pillow last account we had.
God grant we may humbly receive the blessings which have brightened our
little Confederacy, drive this wicked band from our Sunny land, give us
liberty and peace - oh! make us a Christian nation - we have suffered,
yet we deserved thy punishment, we humbly crave thy pardon, and beseech
thy blessings - The night spent as usual with me, sit in the Parlor with
Father a short while after Tea.
April, Friday 15, 1864
Today I have spent sewing, all for nothing, tried the waiste on
tonight and it will not fit at all. I am so disapointed. Mr. Mancoat came
this evening from Memphis. Forrest still holds Fort Pillow, the Yanks
are frightened to death in Memphis, how I wish we could get possession of
our City once more - navigation of the Mississippi above blockaded for the
present, and I hope, forever to the Yankees - they have begun to forage on
the Country, supplies rather short in Memphis. Just as I was wondering
what there was in this day, worth recording, Kate came in and announced to
my great surprise, Margaret had a baby. I left her Cabin about an hour
ago, she said she had not felt well, and asked me to bring the little
Goslins in my room. I have not heard how they are getting along - no one
with her except Bettie, Harriet, and Myra. I did not stay in the Parlor
long after Tea. Laura and I have spent the evening nursing the Goslins.
We heard the sad news that Mr. Gates and Mr. Cy Smith were both dead,
belonged to Henderson's Scouts, captured at a party, died in Alton Prison.
Oh! so many of our bravest and best young men are passing away. God
spare my Brothers, and bring them safe to the heart of my poor old Father.
April, Saturday 16, 1864
Another day of excitement - about 30 Yanks passed early this morning,
only six came in for their breakfast, they did not feed their horses - they
behaved very well, and seemed to be gentlemen, in fact we so seldom see
gentlemen among the Yankees that we can appreciate them when they are met
with. While the squad with us were sitting on the porch, the squad which
went to Mr. Hildebrand's passed with two of his horses, which they were
takeing to Memphis. Anna Nelson came down this morning, the Chicago Times
of 12th. has a good letter in it from X - Forrest has left Fort Pillow,
having accomplished all he went for - we have not heard where he is or what
his movements are, yet are perfectly satisfied that we will have good news
from him in a day or two.
Margaret and baby both doing well, she says I may name it, so I have
named her “Dixie.” Mr. Rodgers came over this evening. Hal was down today
but did not come to see us. We have no news of importance today, I have
had a great deal of trouble with my Goslins. Sewed some little, yet feel
that I have spent the day with little profit to myself, or anyone else, -
beat Tate playing Chess tonight - my little room as usual, my Lamp all
right again.
April, Sunday 17, 1864
For what? am I liveing? - why is it that I am spared from day to day
with no happiness myself, and I am sure my poor weary life adds not
moiety of pleasure and happiness to any one in this household. Oh! give
me strength, give me patience my blessed redeemer, to receive thy punishment
with meekness and humbleness - and faith that in thy own good time all will
be well -
Tate and Helen with the children went down to Col. Perkins to spend
the day, came home this evening in the rain. Col. Overton came this evening,
did not stay many minutes, went to Col. Perkins to meet his friends -
Father, Joanna and I have spent the day alone, indeed I have been all
alone, only saw them at dinner - read two books in the Bible - Galations
& Ephesians - We heard Forrest had Columbus, Ky, can't vouch for the
correctness of the report - God grant it may be so, and that Eddie is safe -
Laura and Bettie said a very good lesson tonight - My Goslins have given
me a great deal of trouble - did not stay in the Parlor long after Tea -
spent the evening alone as usual, Laura & Tip both sleep - My poor Beulah,
I wonder where she is tonight - how much I miss & grieve for her, no one
cares, or knows -
April, Monday 18, 1864
Well, I expect our days of peace and quiet are over, another squad of
Yanks passed - four stoped here, staid until after dinner, and went on back
to Memphis - all of them, except one, seemed to be gentlemen, this one was
a black abolitionist, oh! how I heartily despise him - I promised to make
a Confederate Flag for one of them, Mr. Greer, and he promised he would
not reenlist, so I have spent the evening making one, and will give it
next time he comes. We were fortunate in their visit, they only ate their
Dinner - Forrest was fighting at Columbus, Ky. on yesterday, no particulars.
God grant he was successful, and my Bro. is safe.
I have sewed all day, yet not accomplished much - did not stay in the
Parlour long after Tea, - no use in my recording why.
Laura and Bettie are improving very fast, recited a very good lesson
tonight. The Goslins are a great deal of trouble, Laura and they are fast
asleep on her pallet -
My Mother, oh! my Mother, how long must I leave thee, my heart yearns
for thy sympathy, thy advice. Oh! God have mercy on me - No news from
my dear Miss Em - oh! hasten her arrival - I shudder for my mind - Oh!
my dear, my beautiful Savior, have mercy on me -
April, Tuesday 19, 1864
No Yanks today, a heavy raide passed down on Pigeon Rooste Road, do
not know their destination. No news from Forrest, and the Yanks do not
seem to know where he is. We have not seen any one today, or heard a word
of news. Joanna and Bettie went to Memphis today, Sallie went with them -
got a Permit - I am going to try my luck in the City tomorrow. I scarcely
know what to think about it, or expect, but I do not believe all I have
heard. Father is not willing I should go, I must change though, I cannot
live always thus. Sewed all day, finished my white wrapper. My poor little
burnt Goslin died, I have a great deal of trouble with them.
Bettie and Laura did not say a lesson tonight, Bettie said she was
too tired, and it was not five minutes until Laura was asleep - I am right
sick tonight, and so lonely. No news from Miss Em yet, I am very much
afraid she will give up her visit -
Forrest keeps so buisy on the Miss. River - The days of my present
life are not worth recording - and I am sure the trouble and sorrow are
indelibly ground on my memory and heart -
April, Wednesday 20, 1864
Tate and I arrived in Memphis quite early, put the horse up, then
walked up street together, met Nannie and Anna Perkins. Nannie gave me
two letters, one from St. Louis to Mrs. Welch, an exile in La Grange, Ga.
one from New York from a stranger, asking assistance to through me to
communicate with Mrs. Van Hook at Selma, Ala - I received a letter from
Maj. Price at Selma, by Mrs. Flaherty. I dined with Mrs. Jones, and Mrs.
Kirk - went round for Hat after dinner, she went with me to see Capt.
Woodward, to know what I must do in regard to an order which I heard was
issued for my arrest - he advised me to keep very quiet until he could see
the Provost Marshall and learn something in regard to it. I came to Mrs.
Facklen's, although she has a house full of Yankees boarding with her -
they seem to be very gentlemanly, Dr. Irwin and Dr. Sommers, the latter has
his family, Wife and two children - We spent a pleasant evening at Chess
&c. Mrs. Facklen has been very fortunate in her selection of boarders -
April, Thursday 21, 1864
I went round according to appointment, met Capt. Woodward at 11 o'clock.
Col. Patterson went with me. Capt. W. had not seen the Provost Marshall,
he went as soon as I left, came round to Mrs. Facklen's after dinner, and
brought bad news - though having approached Capt. Williams as aid for a
heroine of Jericho, he could not treat me as the order read - it was issued
from old Hurlbut, I was to be arrested and carried to Alton on first Boat
that passed - for carrying letters through the lines, and smugling, and
aiding the Rebelion in every way in my power - he sent me word I must not
think of attending Jennie Eave's wedding, or go out of doors at all, he
would be compelled to arrest me if it came to him Officially, but as my
Father was a Royal Arch Mason, and I a Mason, he would take no steps, if
I would be quiet. Mrs. Facklen, Mr. & Mrs. Goodwyn, Mr. Leach and Dr.
Irwin all went to the wedding - I staid at home, and spent the evening
with Mrs. Summers, and the Dr. They were very pleasant, and not the least
bitter in their feeling towards the South, ah! but they are Yankees, I
can't forget it when with them.
April, Friday 22, 1864
All ready for breakfast this morning, notwithstanding the late hour
of retiring last night - they all spent a delightful evening - the Bride
looked beautiful, the groom charming, and all passed as merry as a marriage
bell - It was a great disapointment to me, but rather too much risk, a
trip to Alton would not be very pleasant. I ventured with a thick vail on,
to go up town this morning and purchase me a few articles which I would be
compelled to have if I am banished, only went to one store - Went to see
Mrs. Worsham and Vine sent some letters to St. Louis to Mrs. Moore's from
her husband. Anna Nelson came after me, but the detectives have been
looking for me today, and I was afraid to pass the Pickets. I have
certainly escaped wonderfully. Mrs. Sommers seemed very much distressed
that I could not get through - we spent a very pleasant evening. Dr.
Sommers and Mr. Goodwyn discussing the war, I enjoyed it very much, no
anger or hard words, they both agreed to disagree, beat Mr. Clark three
games of Chess, - did not sit up very late. I am miserable for fear old
Gibbert gets me at the Pickets tomorrow. God grant I may get through safe -
April, Saturday 23, 1864
All ready for breakfast, and very much refreshed after a good nights sleep. Dr. Sommers leaves for Vicksburgh today, inspecting hospitals. I
would not care if they had no hospitals, however he is very agreeable. I
prepared for my trip directly after breakfast. Mrs. Sommers came in the
room and seemed very much distressed that I was in trouble, and said that
she would get the Dr. to get me a pass if I would wait until he came. I
knew it was of no use to ask, the Provost Marshall said I must not, but
consoled me by saying, where there is a will there is generally a way.
This was hint enough, so I went to Mrs. Worsham's, and Kate went round to
the Provost's Office and got a pass for herself and Miss Edmunds. I shall
ever be grateful to her for it. I then started for Mr. Barbier's, came
by and told Mr. Eyrich goodbye - came by Miss Perdue's, found Miss Mary &
Annie just having their baggage searched to leave for Vicksburgh - banished
never to return. I got through Pickets safe, Jack was on. Anna Nelson
came out with me, we were caught in a terible storm, no trouble otherwise,
found all well at home.
April, Sunday 24, 1864
This has been a terible day of excitement, two wagons from Memphis
came out and camped in front of our gate all day, the Yanks did not bother
them this morning only to take some Whiskey - two Confederate Soldiers were
sitting in the Parlor all the time they were here, they did not see them
coming in time to run, but fortunately they did not come in the Parlor.
Mr. Falls and Miss McKinney, Sister of one of the Soldiers, came out to
see them, the other Soldier was Mr. Hutchinson. I sent a package of Papers
and letters to Mobile by Mr. McKinney, they had not more than rode out of
sight when five Yanks came up all drunk, they robbed those people with the wagons of all their money, drank up all the whiskey and treated them shamefully,
they had not been gone long before three Confederates, John & William
Hildebrand and Ben Henderson came riding up, we told them about it, they
rode off full speed, in a little while we heard firing, continued about
five minutes, then all quiet. Father and Uncle Elam went down to Dave
Hildebrand's after tea, our boys just left all right, - they met the Yanks
returning, only four, and they frightened to death almost - no particulars.
I am very much afraid, Laura, the Goslins, Tip and I all alone.
April, Monday 25, 1864
Father went first thing this morning to see if he could not hear
something more about those thieving Yankees, - could not hear whether the
Confederate squad gained anything or not - they went down to poor old Mr.
Isbell's and beat him nearly to death because he would not show them the
way to the plank road. Father and Mr. Madden went down there this evening
to see him, a squad of Yankees passed, only two came in to get some buttermilk.
Luce was one, we told him how those had acted yesterday, he reported
it ti the Officer, and Father said they stoped at Mr. Isbell's and enquired
very particularly about it, and said he would have the men arrested. Miss
Annie Perdue, Sister and Bro. all sent through the lines today, banished.
Washburn countermanded Hurlbut's order and sent them by land, instead of
River. Miss Annie came over to see us, and get me to go over the creek for
her. Father is rather afraid, but I will try it in the morning - though
I expect not, Father has just left my room, and says he is afraid for me
to go - I am so unhappy about the trouble I have got in - oh! what is
to become of me, what is my fate to be - A poor miserable exile -
Poor Tip is very sick, and I am very much afraid she is going to die -
the Goslins are well, Laura and I complete my lonely little household -
April, Tuesday 26, 1864
I arose very early this morning, Father was not willing I should go
over the creek, went over to Mr. Farrer's to tell Miss Annie Perdue so she
would make other arrangements about sending for them. I was so distressed
to think she must be so disapointed, and I did not get to see her again.
No Yankees out on our road today, all very quiet until this eve. We were
all very much excited, surprised & happy to see Maj. Crump, he is just from
Jackson, Tenn, where Gens. Forrest and Chalmers still have their Hd. Qts.
Lee's Cavalry have gone to Ala. to check the raid advancing by way of Decatur -
John Hildebrand and Henry Nelson came down and spent the evening with us -
John Hildebrand beat me badly at Chess again - we have had a very pleasant
evening with our Rebel friends, in spite of Yankee visits -
Father retired very early, all left the Parlor except Maj. Crump
and Helen. Poor child, may God shield her from all dark clouds, oh! may
she never feel or know the anguish which has been mine. God grant them a
happy and peaceful union.
Tip is still quite sick, Laura and the Goslins have retired, - my
poor lost Beulah, I wonder where she is tonight - and me, poor miserable
being - oh! heavenly Father, have mercy and brighten my lonely life -
April, Wednesday 27, 1864
Tate and Nannie started to Memphis very early this morning, got back
home without any trouble, and Tate was fortunate enough to get a permit,
and kind enough to me, to bring what few things I had to me. No news,
except they are just reallizing the terrible thrashing they received in La.
Maj. Crump went to the woods this morning, did not come in again until
late this evening. Laura and I have been very buisy all day cleaning and
arranging my room for summer, I had a splendid bath, and enjoyed it very
much. The day has been so warm and disagreeable, tried one of my new
white wrappers, first change of the season - Two of Henderson's Scouts
came here after dark, Mr. Benson and Alexander, got their supper and fed
their horses - did not stay long, sent a bundle of papers and letters to
Capt. Henderson by them. Four soldiers came in after Tea - the same who
broke up the abandoned farm, (Ball's) Saturday night, and I think they are
on such an errand tonight, did not stay long, only until the storm passed
over - Yanks - three passed this evening, did not stop. All my household
quiet in slumber -
April, Thursday 28, 1864
Maj. Crump left for the bushes early this morning, did not return
until the rain began, he sat in my room until supper was ready, Helen,
Tate and Nannie have all been out here all evening buisy sewing on Maj. C
shirts. I finished mine before the storm came up. Mr. Wesson came after
Mr. Wallace's things, he has not left yet, will start in the morning -
Seven Yankees and a cotton buyer came today just after dinner - did
not harm anything, only wanted some milk, and to know the way to the plank
road - we were very fortunate once again - they did not even come in the
house. We have not heard a word of news today - all spent the evening
together in the Parlor, Music &c. I beat Maj. Crump at Chess. Father &
Mr. Wesson retired early. I sat up right late, trying to get Mary to sleep,
succeeded at last, left Nannie, Helen and Maj. Crump in Parlor, found Laura
sleep in the chair with her work in her lap - Tip had not arrived - the
Goslins taking their lunch - and I, poor miserable being, praying for
strength, and patience, for thy will, oh! Lord - Tate had a letter from
Eddie & Capt. Barber -
April, Friday 29, 1864
Joanna and Nannie went to Memphis early this morning, and have not
returned yet, Father is very uneasy about them for fear they are in trouble
with the Yankees - none have been out today. Maj. Crump spent the day in
the woods again - another storm this evening which bro't him home rather
early, he came in my room where we were all buisy sewing - Tate is making
Capt. Barber's shirts, - Helen buisy getting ready to go South - which
she thinks will be about the first of June. I have made “Dixie” five
dresses, and have one to make yet, then I will have fulfilled my agreement
for the privilage of naming her - Mr. Crawford spent the day with us,
waiting for Nannie - Mr. Wesson left early this morning with his goods -
we have no late, reliable news today. All spent the evening together in
the Parlor. Father and I retired early, left Tate, Helen and Maj. Crump
is there. All my little household together - Poor Beulah, I will always
miss her.
April, Saturday 30, 1864
Laura brought my breakfast to my room - very late - everybody slept
late this morning - Raining, raining, raining - oh! such a gloomy day as
it has been. Joanna & Nannie have not come yet. Nonconnah is swimming,
but Father is miserable for fear that is not what keeps them.
Maj. Crump left about 10 o'clock, we have not heard how he got through,
but heard of no scouts, and reckon he is all right, some where in Panola
tonight. Mr. Bray brought Nannie a letter from Dashiell, all of the fords
on Nonconnah are heavily picketed - the Gurrilla's ambushed a scouting
party of fourteen, at Pigeon Rooste crossing on yesterday, killing the
Yankee's three horses - wounding two Yanks and capturing three and one horse,
only six out of the crowd got back to Memphis - they are very much
exasperated - the lines have been closed since, and that may have detained
the girls - hurrah! for the Dick Davis and his band - I hope they may
break into this thieving band of Yanks roving over the Country - both
of Helen's little pups died today -
God bless our armies and give us success -
May, Sunday 1, 1864
I slept very late this morning. Tate and Helen ready to start to
Church when I went in the Parlor - Uncle Elam went with them. Father,
Mary, Robert and I were left at home. Mr. Hildebrand and Mr. Madden
spent the morning with us - they had no late news - neither did we hear
any from the girls. Five Yankees found where John, William, Ben & David
Hildebrand and Ben Henderson were hid on Day's creek, about a mile from here
and surprised them, although they were fast asleep, they made their escape.
The Yanks fired twice only, our little band were not armed armed for a fight,
therefore beat a hasty retreat. The Yanks then came to old Mr. Hildebrand's,
did not stay long, we saw them pass on the ridge returning to Memphis.
Nannie and Joanna have not returned yet, cannot imagine what keeps them.
The Yanks sent out a heavy force after Forrest yesterday. God bless our
little band, and crown them with victory - guide my Bro, and keep him safe
through all danger - Came to my room early - Father retired so early -
We think the Yankees are at Mr. Hildebrand's now, so much noise, and two
guns fired. God bless my dear Father, and protect him from the Yankees.
May, Monday 2, 1864
Very cold and disagreeable - had to keep large fires to keep warm.
No Yankees have been out today - the lines are still closed, Nannie and
Joanna have not got home yet. Cousin Frazor, John and Mr. Wormely got
here from Dixie today - everything is cheering from below. Gen. Price has
demolished Stith's entire army, capturing all of his Artillery, Wagon train
and demoralizing his entire command. We have not heard from Forrest yet,
but our faith in him is implicit, he will be successful. Oh! I think the
bright day for Dixie is dawning. God is just, our prayers are answered,
oh! let us be humble, and pray constantly in our success, thy will, not
ours, be done. I made Laura a dress today - Sallie Hildebrand & Mary
Robinson came down and spent the evening - Mr. Wormely went on over to Mr.
Holmes - the Hildebrands all got off safe last night , everything has been
unusually quiet in the neighborhood today - I did not stay in the Parlor
very late. Bettie & Laura both buisy sewing.
May, Tuesday 3, 1864
The lines still closed, no news from Memphis, can't tell when Nannie and
Joanna will be home - I did not get up until nearly dinner, spent the
remainder of the day sewing for Laura, trying to get her clothes in order,
it seems I can never get her again for any length of time. No one has been
here today. John spent the day hid in the woods with Cousin Frazor's
horse - Father as usual running round trying to hear the news. I think
the Country is rather dull, since the blockade - This is a lonely day
in my weary life, and I can record nothing which would give, either pleasure
or profit in after years to look back upon - the children have been happy
at play - and I expect Helen and Tate have passed the day pleasantly
together - mine has been alone. Father and Cousin Frazor left the Parlor
early after tea - John & I sat up right late talking, and I played for
him. Laura is still sewing and nodding - no bread for Goslins, they are
very noisy
May, Wednesday 4, 1864
I have sewed buisy all day, finished my white braided swiss - I
think it is beautiful. Laura finished her new Calico, we both had to sew
very late tonight to finish them. Bettie got sleepy and went home some
time since - We all had a considerable fright tonight - by Anna Nelson
sending to warn us of danger if any Confederate Soldiers were here - so
poor Johny, although he has spent the day in the woods, shouldered his
blanket, took his Pa's horse, and went to the woods. Cousin Frazor will
stay in and take the chances. Capt. Floyd with 20 men passed about dusk,
going across the creek, don't know their destination - the lines open this
evening - Joanna and Nannie got home - no news of interest - We are
still victorious on all sides, the negroes have raised the black flag -
gone out on a raide after Forrest, and I will bet, but few will ever return, -
God grant not one life of our dear Soldiers will be sacrificed to those
cowardly dogs. Oh! give us victory, that peace may once again smile on
our Sunny land. God bless my poor old Father and dear Bros.
May, Thursday 5, 1864
I have spent a most unhappy day, - half sick, and the “black spirits”
haunted me teribly - oh! I don't know what is the matter with me - or
what on earth is to become of me. I spent the evening sewing on Harriet's
dress - Laura and Bettie both sewed late, yet I am left alone, and no
prospects of sleep relieveing my poor, weary, aching heart - I pray for
hope, and patience, yet virtue is lost in everything to me in my present
state of feeling. Old Mrs. Holmes, Mr. Wormely, & Bedford came over this
evening, no news except a rumor that Forrest had beaten the Nigger troops
who left Memphis - God grant it may be so. Poor Danie Donelson's body
has been found, at Pounder' ford, he was murdered, on his way back to the
Army - his only Bro was killed at battle of Chickamauga - oh! heavenly
Father, give us peace, crown our Sunny land with victory & peace, guide
my dear Brothers, and return them safe to our Father's now lonely fireside -
we humbly crave thy pardon, thy forgiveness and peace.
May, Friday 6, 1864
I got up very early this morning, finished Harriet's dress a little
after dinner, just one day making it, I have picked my finger almost to
the bone, and will have to rest for a few days and let it recruit. I
slept all the evening, have spent the day alone, and it has seemed teribly
long. No Yankees out on our road today. A heavy scout passed down the
Hernando road, a very heavy picket on Nonconnah, since Floyd's raide yesterday - poor old Mr. Farrer got in trouble yesterday, the Yanks carried
him in Memphis and put him in the Irving Block, we have not heard any of
the particulars. Cousin Mat, Frazor & Cousin Sallie came out this evening, -
news, we have another victory on Red River, captured three more Gun Boats -
Oh! how thankful we are for the bright days which are dawning - we humbly
crave thy blessings for victory and peace - Received a letter from Jimmie
in London, the crew men all well and in fine spirits - God bless both my
dear Bros, and guard them from all danger and temptation - bless my poor
old Father, and keep trouble from his last days - oh! make me a better
woman. Frazor is 9 years old today - we have not heard from Eddie for
several days.
May, Saturday 7, 1864
I went over to Mrs. Clayton's early this morning to make arrangements
with Hal about going South, did not find her at home, waited until after
3 o'c but did not get to see her. Spent a very pleasant day - heard no
news - came by Mrs. Duke's to see Beulah, poor Dog, she was almost crazy
when she met me. I could not stay many minutes, and it almost broke my heart
to see Beulah begging to come. Peter and I started on home, met two Yankees,
they were drunk, and frightened me very much. We had a very rough trip home,
came through to the Hernando road, the Pickets on Nonconnah did not ask me
for a pass. Saw old Mr. Farrer just getting home, he has only one week to
be out of this country. A Yankee detective with a woman came to stay all
night, Father was afraid not to take him, just after they stoped, in came
two of the 2nd. Mo. Cav. Mr. Grile and Mr. Davis, they did not come in when we
told them who was here, for fear it would get Father in trouble - the detective
(Lewis) was very uneasy for fear they would take - I hope they will
get him after he leaves here in the morning -
May, Sunday 8, 1864
I had a nice time sleeping late this morning, and Laura had a nice,
Breakfast to tempt my apetite when awakened - the Detective and his lady
friend had left before I got in the Parlor. John and Cousin Frazor kept
in the dark all morning, though every was quiet, we have not heard what the
raide was for which passed down Hernando road yesterday, they staid in
Hernando last night. Old Mr. Hildebrand came down after dinner, though we
have not heard a word of news today - in fact it will be almost a nonentity
in the pages of my sad and weary life. I have read in my Bible mostly -
went to sleep after dinner, and did not wake up until late in the evening -
all went to walk except myself. Anna Nelson and Mrs. Lewis came here for
some Soldier clothes, but they had not been left here. I did not stay in
the house late, Bettie and Laura gave me a great deal of trouble about
their lessons tonight - all quiet now, Bettie gone home. Laura and the
Goslins both fast asleep - I trust sleep will soon relieve my weary brain -
May, Monday 9, 1864
I slept very late, Laura came in to clean my room, did everything
but make the bed, I told her if she would let me alone I would make the bed.
I have been sewing on my white mull, did not get much done, have it all
arranged, and hope to finish it tomorrow. We had a delightful rain this
evening. Cousin Frazor bought John a horse today, from Mr. Madden. The
two Miss Robinsons came over this evening, trying to find out where their
Bros were, whom Floyd conscripted, we could tell them nothing, poor things
I feel sorry for them, although they are such wicked people. Three Confederate
Soldiers came riding up while they were here, I am very much afraid they
will report it to the Yankees. I did not go in the Parlor after Tea, the
rest were all in, singing and playing, which I enjoyed all alone on the
Porch. Father sat a while - Laura and Bettie had a very good lesson -
all asleep now except myslef, and I am prepared for a nice feast in one
of the Waverly's - the Abbot, it will draw my mind, for a while at least,
from it's own sad and weary thoughts -
May, Tuesday 10, 1864
Cloudy and rainy, I got up to breakfast as Mr. Harbut came, he is
cut off from his command, and has no news. We heard Forrest had got safely
out of Tenn. Tate and Joanna went to Memphis this morn, did not get back
and we have not heard a word, suppose the raine must have kept them, we
had a very hard storm this evening. Mrs. Franklin & Miss Kate Daughterty
arrived from Dixie this morning, they say we have had a glorious victory
in Virginia, but a dearly bought one - loss heavy on both sides. The
Confederates Victorious as always under our brave Gen. Lee. A sad loss will
be our gallant Longstreet, we hear he is mortally wounded, heaven forbid
the correctness of the report - oh! my heavenly Father, enlighten the
hearts of our wicked foe, and let them leave our lovely land, - think of
the thousands of souls hastened into eternity - we humbly crave thy pardon,
grant us thy blessings, and give us peace, oh! give us peace - all we ask -
drive them from our land, we have sinned, but now are humble. God bless
my dear Father, and Brothers, and unite them once again -
May, Wednesday 11, 1864
Tate and Joanna went to Memphis this morning - what a mistake - on
yesterday they went in, did not return until this evening. Joanna and
Miss Em, and little Emie all came, oh! I was so delighted to see Mrs.
Perkins - Nannie came out very early, started to go to Germantown, for John
a horse, too late. Poor Cousin Mat and little Frazor had to return with
Mrs. S. to M. - No news from Mr. Harbut yet - he is always very prompt,
we think it very strange he did not return. We all spent the evening in
the Parlor. Mrs. Tom Nelson came this evening - bro't intelligence of Poor
Mr. Facklen's death - he killed himself drinking, died with Mania potin
I do pity his Wife, and poor little children - and such a horrible death -
no late news from either side - Miss Em and I talked nearly all night -
May, Thursday 12, 1864
Miss Em and I took breakfast in our room - it was bitter cold this
morning, and I have taken my stove down. Mr. Nelson very impatient, Mr.
Brett arrived about 11 o'clock, had succeeded in getting a pass for Mr. N.
from Gen'l Washburn, good for one week - they left about 12. We all sat
in the Parlour in the morning - after dinner Miss Em and I came out to my
room and spent the evening - Nannie and Emie came also. Oh! I wish they
would quit speaking of the war, or Politics. Cousin Frazor was tight at
dinner, and as he and Mrs. Perkins differed, he was very rough and disagreeable
- we did not sit up so late. Bettie and Anna Nelson reached home safe,
but very late. No important news - no news from Mr. Harbut yet -
May, Friday 13, 1864
Miss Em, Joanna, Anna Nelson, Tate's children and Kate all went to Memphis
this morning, all returned except Mary, who they left with Tate. We have
had a quiet day, comparatively speaking. No Yankees - Mr. Wilson and Mr.
Pope came this evening - been up several days, no late news. Poor Mr. Harbut
was captured on yesterday, at Mr. Rutland's on the plank road, both of his
fine horses captured - no news from him since he went into Memphis - Mr.
Keene, who came out with Cousin Sallie, said Banks had certainly surrendered
with 35,000 men - God grant it may be true - nothing deffinite from Virginia,
though the slaughter has been terible on both sides. Oh! my Father in heaven,
crown our Army with Victory - God give us peace, I am so weary of so much
bloodshed - bless my dear Father and Brothers -
May, Saturday 14, 1864
Miss Em and I slept until almost 12 o'clock - I finished Emie's dress
after getting up, Miss Em cut out her new Calico and run on the skirt. No
Yankees today, neither have we seen a Confederate - Joanna and Anna Nelson
went in this morning with the wagon to get supplies, as this is the last
day the lines will be open. All of them got back safe with a permit for
all they wanted. Tate came out with all of Helen's Bridal trosseau - still
no decisive news from Virginia - papers all suppressed, which appears rather
ominous - Oh! heaven hear the humble, and heart rending prayers of our
poor suffering South, - drive the wicked Northman from our soile, protect
and guide my Bros safely through, may they do their duty nobly - bless my
poor old Father - I am miserable, what is to become of me -
May, Sunday 15, 1864
This has been an unpleasant, unhappy Sabbath - oh! we differ so in
politics from Miss Em - I am afraid her visit will be miserable. Helen and
Nannie went to Church - Col. Perkins came home with them, spent the evening.
Capt. Wormely came over to spend the night, preparatory to leaving at daylight
in company with Cousin Frazor and Johnie, poor John, he has not got
him a horse, or his clothes - Mrs. Titus, his step mother, has treated
him shamefully.
Miss Em had a talk with Nannie this evening, and she has been miserable
ever since - I do not know what it is, but they are so widely different
in Politics - I pray that Miss Em may not insist on Nannie leaveing.
I shudder for the results, she says she will not go. We heard our Army in
Va. was victorious - I pray that it may be so, and this horrible war closed.
No communication with the City today, Miss Em speaks of going tomorrow -
she has a free pass - she is sick in bed tonight - all retired very early -
May, Monday 16, 1864
Laura awakened me at daylight to see Cousin Frazor, John and Capt.
Wormely leave for Dixie - they left early for fear they would meet a squad
of Yanks later in the day. Miss Em and Nannie went to Memphis this morning,
got back safe, no late news except Yankee lies, which say that we are beaten
in Va. and I do not believe one word of it - never will hear the truth until
we get the Southern account. Mr. Wilson came this evening, bro't me a package
of Southern papers (Mobile & Richmond) though not very late date - therefore
nothing deffinite from Lee's army - he had no late news, currier up yesterday -
Nannie saw Mr. Harbut at the Provost Marshall today - he will be sent to
Alton in a few days. Mr. Crawford came for Nannie today, was very much
disapointed - I read all the morning, made me a dress waiste after dinner -
Oh! how my heart has yearned for this visit from Miss Em, and how sadly
disapointed, yet I have learned to bury my sorrow within my own breast -
there is a terible gap in our social circle, we are so widely different in
Politics.
May, Tuesday 17, 1864
Oh! most miserable day - Mrs. Perkins almost made me mad at her deep
distress - Poor, poor Nannie, my heart aches for her, would to God I
might be the medium through which all could be made happy - Miss Em is
so widely different in her political feeling, there will never be any
happiness, I fear, with poor Nannie. May God guide the dear child, keep
her firm to the cause she has espoused, may she never have her pure, noble
Southern feelings polluted with Yankee treachery or tyrany - keep her firm
and true to her noble Brother Dashiell and his Country rights - she dreams
not, but oh! my heart trembles and bleeds for her in this great trial and
affliction. I received a letter from Dr. Moses - Tate did also - Oh! why
am I tempted - guide, oh! comfort me, my Savior - poor Father is quite
sick - Joanna went to Hernando this morning -
May, Wednesday 18, 1864
When, oh! when will this wickedness and strife end - my heart how sadly,
and how sorely, it has been tried. God have mercy and keep it pure, through
all temptations - bless poor Miss Em, be with her in this affliction, guide
dear Nannie in the right path - I pray that it may be all right - thy will,
and I am content - Col. Perkins came this morning, Nannie had not decided
to stay when he was here. Mr. Nelson took dinner with us, on his way to
Dixie. Mr. & Mrs. Lake came down here to meet him, missed him only a few
moments. Mr. Crawford came this evening. Miss Em sent a note to Col.
Perkins by him. Mr. Huchins was here also - with all the arrivals of
persons and newspapers, no reliable news. My dear redeemer I pray, oh!
I humbly beseech thee to bless our brave little bands in Va. and Ga -
crown them victory, oh! give thy blessing to our dear Sunny land. Give
us peace, then will we praise thy great and glorious reighn, through all
eternity.
May, Thursday 19, 1864
It seems that trouble and misery will never cease. Miss Em almost
killed herself with chloroform last night, did not get up until late this
evening, and is still very feeble and miserable from the effects. Nannie
has been in bed all day, seems to be quite sick tonight - poor old Father,
he is almost prostrated with trouble. I wish I had some influence, oh!
that I could be the medium of reconciliation & peace between Miss Em and
the family - there is a breach which can never be healed - she is raving
mad whenever she speaks or thinks of Tate and Helen - poor little Emie,
the child is miserable. Heard from Dashiell last night, but do not dare to
show the letter to his Mother. I think the scriptures are truly fulfilled
in this war, Child shall be against Parent, and Parent against Child -
Col. Perkins did not come - We have heard nothing deffinite from our
Armys. Joanna got back last night with Helen's cotton.
I have been unhappy all day, no one could be in this house at this
time and not be -
May, Friday 20, 1864
Mrs. Perkins went to Memphis this morning in an awful state of mind.
Col. Perkins came up to see her before she started, but I do not think she
was much relieved by his visit. Nannie would not go, she did not come back
tonight, although she said she would be certain to come. I am entirely
weaned from any affection I ever had for her, any Southern woman to talk
and express herself as she does, I have no use for her. I wish to heaven
she would never come to our house again. I went over to Mr. Clayton's, on
old Grey, took Peter with me, did not get to see Hal, arrived at home safe,
but very much fatigued. Laura and I had a very quiet, pleasant night all
alone. Joanna tried our fortunes with the cards, if they are true I do
not think we will have a very exciting life for the next few days -
May, Saturday 21, 1864
Nannie still sick in bed, got up this evening when Mr. Wilson came,
I think that is the only thing which could have aroused her - Nothing
unusual happened today, the news from Virginia still glorious. Oh, God!
we praise, we humbly bow to thy glorious favor, of our struggle for Liberty -
crown our Armys everywhere with decisive victories, and oh! we pray the
for peace - Mrs. Perkins came home this evening, I am afraid she has made
her arrangements for some revengeful feelings - her plans are entirely
different from when she left. I did not imagine one I loved so much - I
could so soon hate. Poor old Father is almost crazy with his troubles,
yet the happy news from the Army keeps him up. Mrs. Perkins staid in my
room and I had anything but a pleasant night -
May, Sunday 22, 1864
Everything has been in commotion, and anything but a quiet day. Mrs.
Perkins is still disagreeable in her Politics - She and Nannie and Emie
started down to Col. Perkins, broke down, came back, did not go until this
evening - Hal and Mr. Clayton came today, we made our final arrangements
for our trip, and will get off one day this week. Mr. Bray came over and
made arrangements for Miss Tollison to go with us, she is going to marry
Gen. Pat Claiborne - We have had anything but a pleasant say, Mrs. Perkins
has been spouting forth her Unionism - everything has gone and we are quiet
once more - I wish the day could have been more pleasant for Hal and Mr.
Clayton - I wish I did not feel so bitter towards her - Thank God the
news is still glorious for us from all quarters - Laura and I will have
a pleasant night alone -
May, Monday 23, 1864
I was up bright and early this morning, went over to Mr. Hudghins
to get his Wife, who is going to Memphis tomorrow, to bring me out a few
articles, which I am compelled to have before leaving. The day I have
spent trying to get my clothes arranged to have them done up tomorrow -
it has been an unpleasant task, and altogether anything but a pleasant
day to me - until this evening we were all made glad by the arrival of
Sister Mary, Aunt Patsy, and our dear Sister's two youngest little Orphans -
Sallie and Frank, also their nurse Nellie - both of the Children are
beautiful, poor little things, how my heart aches for them, how sad is
life to me without my Mother's love. Sallie is a sad little creature, very
much like her Mother in appearance. Frank, the baby, is all life &
happiness, they came all the way from Pontotoc in an Ox wagon, just one
week coming. Mr. Wilson was here today - no later news from our Armys -
May, Tuesday 24, 1864
Little Frank waked me up this morning bright and early, I managed
to get up and send Nellie, (who was with him) to the kitchen for his
breakfast, he is prettier every time I look at him. Laura did not get
to washing my clothes until 11 o'clock, but finished all except three
dresses and has done them beautifully. Annie Nelson & Missie Morgan came out this evening - though the lines are closed, I don't know whether Mrs.
Hudghins went in or not, if she did not, I don't know what I am to do
about the things I sent for. I finished my Peasants waiste, and think it
beautiful. Oh! I am so unfortunate, and unhappy - I pray for patience
and submission.
No later news from Va. or Ga. I did not go in the Parlor after Tea, -
the rest all spent a pleasant evening I suppose - my heart is too full to
venture in company. I put little Sallie and Frank to bed.
May, Wednesday 25, 1864
I have been quite sick all day, was taken some time in the night,
Laura was very kind to me - and has been the only one in my room to see
me today. Miss Em & Nannie & little Emie got home from Col. Perkins just
before dinner. Poor Miss Em, she seems almost heart-broken that Nannie
won't go with her. I pity her, and have forgiven all hard thoughts which
once existed in my heart towards her. I wish this horrid war would not
uproot so many social ties - I dressed late this evening, went on the
Porch - very cool and cloudy after Tea, so we all moved in the Parlor -
Sister Mary, Miss Em, Father and I spent the evening alone - the rest did
not seem socially inclined, even Nannie did not come in, although it was
her Ma's last night with us. Poor old Father, he tries to smooth over
the ruffles all the rest make. God bless him and my dear Brothers -
May, Thursday 26, 1864
Miss Em was almost dressed when I awoke this morning. I was very much
distressed to see her leave, in rememberance of the wickedness which filled
my heart a day or two ago - I have entirely forgiven, and all unpleasant
feelings have passed away. Poor Miss Em, she was the picture of dispair -
did not get to see Dashiell, and little Emie, oh! 'tis hard for horrid
politics to interfere with social feelings - They all left quite early
for Memphis. Joanna and Robert got back safe - did not bring me anything
I sent for - I am very much disapointed - but must think of some other way -
Capt. Farrell arrived this evening - left Tupelo on yesterday morning - all
the boys were well, most of the Batalion had gone to Alabama, Eddie was
among the number - News is all we could wish for - by the grace of God
Lee is still victorious. God bless our Armys, my dear Father and Brothers -
Yankees gone to Hernando on a raide - have mercy and make me a better and
more useful woman -
May, Friday 27, 1864
Sister Mary and I started early over to Mrs. Armstrong's - found both
Mr. and Mrs. A. at home - and as usual my best friends in trouble. Mrs.
A. is going to Memphis tomorrow, and will get all the things I need and
bring them out to her house. Sister Mary has made arrangements to go to
town with her tomorrow to get her watch - We spent the day