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        <author>Merrick, Caroline Elizabeth, b. 1825</author>
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    <front>
      <div1 type="cover image">
        <p>
          <figure id="cover" entity="merricv">
            <p>[Cover Image]</p>
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        </p>
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            <p>[Frontispiece Image]</p>
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      <div1 type="title image">
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      <titlePage>
        <docTitle>
          <titlePart type="main">OLD TIMES IN<lb/>
DIXIE LAND</titlePart>
          <titlePart type="subtitle">A Southern Matron's Memories</titlePart>
        </docTitle>
        <byline>BY</byline>
        <docAuthor>CAROLINE E. MERRICK</docAuthor>
        <docImprint><pubPlace>NEW YORK</pubPlace>
<publisher>THE GRAFTON PRESS</publisher>
<date>1901</date></docImprint>
        <titlePart type="verso"><date>COPYRIGHT, 1901,</date><lb/>
BY CAROLINE ELIZABETH MERRICK</titlePart>
      </titlePage>
      <pb id="merrick3" n="3"/>
      <div1 type="contents">
        <head>CONTENTS.</head>
        <list type="simple">
          <item>I. COTTAGE HALL . . . . . <ref target="merrick5" targOrder="U">5</ref></item>
          <item>II. OLD TIMES . . . . . <ref target="merrick11" targOrder="U">11</ref></item>
          <item>III. HOME LIFE . . . . . <ref target="merrick17" targOrder="U">17</ref></item>
          <item>IV. RUMORS OF OUR CIVIL WAR . . . . . <ref target="merrick24" targOrder="U">24</ref></item>
          <item>V.  MY DAUGHTER LAURA'S DIARY . . . . . <ref target="merrick37" targOrder="U">37</ref></item>
          <item>VI. WAR MEMORIES: HOW BECKY
      COLEMAN WASHED HESTER
       WHITEFIELD'S FACE . . . . . <ref target="merrick48" targOrder="U">48</ref></item>
          <item>VII. WAR MEMORIES: THE STORY OF
         PATSY'S GARDEN . . . . . <ref target="merrick59" targOrder="U">59</ref></item>
          <item>VIII. HOW WOMAN CAME TO THE 
         RESCUE . . . . . <ref target="merrick69" targOrder="U">69</ref></item>
          <item>IX. MISS VINE'S DINNER PARTY AND
      ITS ABRUPT CONCLUSION . . . . . <ref target="merrick83" targOrder="U">83</ref></item>
          <item>X. OUR FEDERAL FRIENDS AND THE 
    COLORED BROTHER . . . . . <ref target="merrick104" targOrder="U">104</ref></item>
          <item>XI. LAURA'S DEATH IN THE 
      EPIDEMIC OF '78 . . . . . <ref target="merrick116" targOrder="U">116</ref></item>
          <item>XII. A FIRST SPEECH AND SOME 
       NOTED WOMEN . . . . . <ref target="merrick124" targOrder="U">124</ref></item>
          <item>XIII. FRANCES WILLARD . . . . . <ref target="merrick141" targOrder="U">141</ref></item>
          <item>XIV. SORROW AND SYMPATHY . . . . . <ref target="merrick153" targOrder="U">153</ref></item>
          <item>XV. BECKY SPEAKS UP IN MEETING
       IN THE INTERESTS OF MORALITY . . . . . <ref target="merrick164" targOrder="U">164</ref></item>
          <item>XVI. MRS. JULIA WARD HOWE AND THE
         BLESSED COLORED PEOPLE . . . . . <ref target="merrick171" targOrder="U">171</ref></item>
          <item>XVII. NERVOUS PROSTRATION AND 
         A VENERABLE COUSIN . . . . . <ref target="merrick186" targOrder="U">186</ref></item>
          <item>XVIII. ENTER  -  AS AN EPISODE  -  MRS. 
            COLUMBIANA PORTERFIELD . . . . . <ref target="merrick197" targOrder="U">197</ref></item>
          <item>XIX. THE SOUTHERN WOMAN BECOMES
         A “CLUBABLE” BEING . . . . . <ref target="merrick212" targOrder="U">212</ref></item>
          <item>XX. “ THE BEST IS YET TO BE” . . . . . <ref target="merrick229" targOrder="U">229</ref></item>
        </list>
      </div1>
    </front>
    <pb id="merrick5" n="5"/>
    <body>
      <div1 type="main">
        <head>OLD TIMES IN DIXIE LAND</head>
        <div2 type="chapter">
          <head>CHAPTER I.</head>
          <head>COTTAGE HALL.</head>
          <p>I HAVE not written these memoirs entirely for the 
amusement or instruction of my contemporaries; but I shall 
feel rewarded if I elicit thereby the interest and sympathy 
which follows an honest effort to tell the truth in the 
recollections of one's life  -  for, after all, truth is the chief 
virtue of history. My ancestry may be of as little importance 
in itself as this book is likely to be after the lapse of a few 
years; yet it is satisfactory to know that your family is 
respectable,  -  even if you cannot prove it to be so ancient 
that it has no beginning, and so worthy that it ought to 
have no end. I am willing, however, that my genealogy 
should be investigated; there are books giving the whole 
history; and it is surely an innocent and praiseworthy 
pride  -  that of good pedigree.</p>
          <p>I was born November 24th, 1825, at our plantation 
home, called Cottage Hall, in the parish of East Feliciana, 
in the State of Louisiana.  My father was a man
<pb id="merrick6" n="6"/>
of firmness and of courage amounting to stoicism. He 
appeared calm and self-possessed under all circumstances. 
He ruled his own house, but so judicious was his 
management that even his slaves loved him.</p>
          <p>Though I was very young when my mother died, I 
can remember her and the great affection manifested 
for her by the entire family. While not realizing the 
importance of my loss, I knew enough to resent the 
coming of another to fill her place. My father said he 
wanted a good woman who could see that his family of 
six children were properly brought up and educated. 
His nephew, Dr. James Thomas, introduced him to 
Miss Susan Brewer, who he thought would fill all these 
requirements. The marriage was soon arranged, and 
I was brought home, to Cottage Hall, by my eldest sister, 
with whom I had been living. The other children had 
laid aside their mourning and I was informed that I 
also had new dresses; but I declined to wear them or 
to call the new mistress of the household by the name of 
“Mother,” which had been freely given her by the rest of 
the family. When my father lifted me from the carriage 
he said: “My child, I will now take you to your 
new mother.” As he kissed me affectionately I turned 
away and said: “I am not your child, and I have no 
mother now.” I have never forgotten the sad look he 
gave me nor the tenderness he manifested toward my 
waywardness as he took me in his arms and carried me 
into the house. I was a troublesome little girl with an 
impetuous temper; perhaps it was on this account that he 
often said: “This golden-haired darling is the dearest 
little one in the house  -  and the most exacting.” My
<pb id="merrick7" n="7"/>
father had a vein of quaint humor and abounded in proverbial 
wisdom. I have heard him say, “Yes, I have a 
very bad memory  -  I remember what should be forgotten.”</p>
          <p>We often had friends and schoolmates to spend 
the day or night at Cottage Hall; but when these visits
were returned we were always accompanied by our married 
sister or some equally responsible <hi rend="italics">chaperone</hi>. We 
complained much of this rigid rule, yet I now think it 
was a wise exaction that every night should find us 
sheltered under the home roof. My father had no patience 
with the innocent flirtations of young people; 
he thought such conduct implied a lack of straightforward 
honesty which was inexcusable. Few men can 
understand the temptations of a young girl's environment, 
which sometimes cause her to make promises in 
good faith that cannot be carried out, and my father 
had no pity on one who so doted on general admiration 
that she was unwilling to contract her life into a simple 
home with one true, brave heart. Such an one, he 
thought, deserved to become a lonely old maid and hold 
a pet dog in her arms, with never a child of her own, 
because she had turned away from her highest vocation
  -  and all for pure vanity and folly.</p>
          <p> My stepmother was a gifted woman. She was born in 
Wilbraham, Massachusetts, in  1790, and died July 25th, 
1876. She had come South by the advice of Dr. Wilbur 
Fisk, and was instrumental in bringing into Alabama, 
Mississippi and Louisiana over sixty  accomplished 
teachers, she herself having been at the head of successful 
schools in New York, Baltimore, Tuscaloosa and
<pb id="merrick8" n="8"/>
Washington. The calling of teaching she gave up 
when she married my father, but the cause of education 
in the South was greatly promoted by her influence, for 
which reason she has been compared to Mary Lyon of 
New England.</p>
          <p>On one occasion, when my stepmother had a large 
party of Northern people at tea, they began praising 
the products of their own State and depreciating those of 
Louisiana. My childish anger was stirred, and I 
asked our guests why they had come down here if they 
had everything so much nicer and better in Massachusetts? 
I said no more, for a maid was called and I was 
sent to bed, retiring with indignation while the company 
laughed spiritedly at my impertinence. One of 
my sisters wrote me later, “Ma has no occasion to teach 
you how to manage, for you were born with a talent 
for ruling  -  whether wisely or not time will show.”</p>
          <p>Cottage Hall was five miles from Jackson, Louisiana. 
My father was for many years trustee of the college there 
which afterward became Centenary College of the 
Methodist Episcopal Church South. His death occurred 
in 1849, and I have preserved a eulogy delivered 
by President Augustus Baldwin Longstreet during the 
Commencement exercises of the year. From this I 
transcribe a few sentences:</p>
          <p>“A sad announcement will be anticipated by those 
who have been long in the habit of attending these occasions 
when they cast their eyes over the Board of Trustees 
and see that the seat of Captain David Thomas is 
vacant. Never since the foundation of the College was
<pb id="merrick9" n="9"/>
it so before. He was present at the birth of this institution; 
he saw it in all its promising and dispiriting 
visitations; and while it had no peculiar claims upon 
him, he watched over it with parental solicitude. At 
length he rejoiced in its commitment to the care of 
his own church; and under the management of my predecessor, 
he saw it assume an honorable rank among 
the kindred institutions of our Southern clime. His 
head, his heart and purse were all at its service. He 
was anticipating the events of this week with hopeful 
gratification when, within forty-eight hours of the time 
he expected to mingle his counsels with his colleagues, 
it pleased God to cut him down. Were our griefs always 
proportioned to our losses, his wife, his children, the orphan, 
the poor, the church, the trustees, the faculty, 
and the students would all have raised one wild shriek 
at the twang of the archer's bow which laid him low. 
Were the joys of friendship proportioned to the good 
fortune of a friend, we should all rejoice and mingle 
our voices in loud hallelujahs that death had snatched 
him away; for that he has gone direct from earth to 
heaven none can doubt who knew him. I find it hard 
to restrain the starting tears; but this is my weakness. 
We all should rejoice, but this our nature will not permit; 
yet we must testify our respect for his memory.”</p>
          <p>Then Judge Longstreet read the resolutions of the 
Board of Trustees of Centenary College, which had been 
placed in his hands. This extraordinary man was a 
dear friend of our family, and every child in the 
house enjoyed his visits. He played on a glass flute
<pb id="merrick10" n="10"/>
for us, and it was a choice privilege when we were 
allowed to hear him read from his “Georgia Scenes” 
about the comical doings of Ned Brace and Cousin 
Patsy. His peculiarities bordered on eccentricity and 
his wit was inimitable and irresistible.</p>
          <p>Mrs. Longstreet was a lovely woman of whose presence 
one never wearied. She wore the daintiest of white 
caps, and seemed in the eyes of all like the angel she 
was. Of Byron, Walter Scott, and historical literature 
she could give pages from memory with great expression 
and in the sweetest voice imaginable. She was ideally 
sweet even in her most advanced years  -  vision which 
once seen can never be forgotten.</p>
        </div2>
        <pb id="merrick11" n="11"/>
        <div2>
          <head>CHAPTER II.</head>
          <head>OLD TIMES.</head>
          <p>ON a clear spring morning more than fifty years ago, 
Cousin Antoinette and I sat on the front porch of Cottage 
Hall ready for a ride and waiting for the stable boy 
to bring up our ponies. We were in the act of mounting 
when my father appeared and inquired where we 
were going.</p>
          <p>“We shall not take a long ride, papa. We are not 
going anywhere, and shall return in good time for breakfast.”</p>
          <p>“You will do nothing of the kind. You have no 
brother here to ride with you, and it is improper for two 
young ladies to be seen on the public road alone so 
early in the morning.” He then ordered the horses 
back to the lot. We were obliged to submit to his authority 
without protest, though I was ready to say, 
“There is a word sweeter than ‘mother, home, or 
heaven,’ and that word is ‘liberty.’ ” Contrast this 
with the freedom of the modern girl on her bicycle!</p>
          <p>Once when I left the schoolroom on account of a disagreement 
with the governess, my stepmother thought 
my father should require me to return and apologize. 
“No,” he replied, “she elects her own life and must 
abide by her choice; she shall not be coerced.” I was
<pb id="merrick12" n="12"/>
never afterward a student in any schoolroom, though at 
this time only in my thirteenth year. I had been in class 
with girls three or four years older than myself, and 
was considered quite mature in person and mental development. 
I early ascertained that girls had a sphere 
wherein they were expected to remain and that the despotic 
hand of some man was continually lifted to keep 
them revolving in a certain prescribed and very restricted 
orbit. When mild reproofs failed there were always 
other curbs for the idiot with eccentric inclinations</p>
          <p>Yet it was with my father's full consent, even by his 
advice, that at fifteen years of age I married Edwin 
Thomas Merrick, for he thought I could not enter too 
soon upon woman's exclusive path, and be marching 
along towards woman's kingdom with a companion in 
the prime of a noble manhood. I was indebted for my 
“bringing up” to the young man I married. He was 
more than twice my age, and possessed many times over 
my amount of wisdom. In one of Mr. Merrick's love-letters, 
written in 1839, alluding to a remark of mine 
on the absurdity of a “young thing like me” being 
companionable for a man of thirty years, he says: 
“Is it not ‘ridiculously absurd’ for a young lady who 
talks seriously of moving an island in the lake of 
Windermere to suppose she is not old enough to marry 
anybody? I have been reared in the cold North where 
mind and person come to maturity slowly; you in the 
sunny South where the flower bursts at once into full 
luxuriance and beauty.” Lover-like, he compliments 
me by continuing: “I have never discovered in you 
anything to remind me of the disparity of our ages;
<pb id="merrick13" n="13"/>
but, on the contrary, I have found a maturity of judgment, 
correctness of taste and extent of accomplishments 
which cause me to feel that you have every acquisition 
of a lady of twenty; and I have been happier 
in your society than in that of any other human being.”</p>
          <p> My husband, the nephew of my stepmother, was born 
July 9th, 1809, in Wilbraham, Massachusetts. He 
was an advocate and jurist, served as district judge of 
the Florida parishes, and was twice elected chief justice 
of the Supreme Court of Louisiana.</p>
          <p> The entire household at Cottage Hall was devoted to 
“Cousin Edwin,” as he was called after our Southern fashion 
of claiming kinship with those we like. I remember that when 
Mrs. Lafayette Saunders heard that Mrs. Thomas had made 
this match, she replied: “It is a pity she did not do the same 
for all the family, for she surely has made a good one for 
Caroline!” For a year and a half Mr. Merrick and I had seen 
much of each other and had exchanged frequent letters, many 
of which have been sacredly preserved to the present time. 
Bishop John C. Keener, who was his lifelong friend, said of 
him at the time of his death: “Judge Merrick was always a 
bright, delightful person in his family and with his 
acquaintances and friends. He was a scholar, and was 
familiar with several modern languages, especially French and 
German. He had an investigating mind, loved to explore the 
recent wonders of science, and the doctrine of evolution he 
accepted. Few men had rounded their career into a grander 
expression of all the high qualities which concur in the 
useful citizen and the influential public magistrate.
<pb id="merrick14" n="14"/>
He was an incorruptible and capable judge, which is the 
most important and admirable character in the official 
constituency of government.”</p>
          <p>The Law Association of New Orleans, in their tribute to 
his memory, said to him  - using his own words at a like 
meeting in honor of Chief Justice Eustis:
“His judicial opinions show a comprehensive intellect, 
cultivated by long study, and familiarized with the 
sentiments of the great writers and expounders of the law. 
They were, as became them, more solid than brilliant, more 
massive than showy. They are like granite masonry, and will 
serve as guides and landmarks in years to come. He was 
domestic, temperate and simple in his habits; modest, 
patient, punctual, and exceedingly studious. In his family 
relations he was a good husband, a wise and loving father. 
He loved his fellowmen and enjoyed the success of others. 
He encouraged young men, and with his brethren of the bar 
he was always considerate, courteous and generous.”</p>
          <p>Thus he received a beautiful and eloquent tribute which 
dealt with both his public and private life.</p>
          <p>In his home Mr. Merrick was always gentle and lovable 
without the least apparent pride. He would entertain with the 
greatest simplicity the youngest child in the house; and this 
fact reminds me of a little boy who deposited with tears a 
bouquet at his lifeless feet. To the inquiry “Who sent them?” 
he replied. “I brought them. For three years he has given me 
money to buy all my school books, and I am so sorry he is 
dead!” In a letter my daughter-in-law had written me while 
we were in Virginia during one of his last summers
<pb id="merrick15" n="15"/>
on earth, she asked: “Does father still roam over the hills 
gathering flowers for you to wear as he used to do?” Even 
in his old age his cheerfulness, his equipoise and sweetness 
never deserted him.</p>
          <p>In regard to early marriages, I cannot, in view of my own 
experience and long life of contentment and domestic 
happiness, say aught unfavorable, though there is another 
side to the question and modern custom tends increasingly 
towards marriage at a later period. As it is true that the 
progeny of immature plants and animals do not equal in vigor 
and capacity for endurance the offspring of fully developed 
specimens, so human beings who desire to establish a home 
and intend to bring up a family, should not be children, but 
full-grown, matured men and women; yet, all things else being 
equal, it is surely better they should unite to make up a 
perfect life before the season of youth has passed away, and 
the man became <hi rend="italics">blasé</hi>, the woman warped. Men are much 
concerned about our sex and the duties and peculiar 
functions belonging thereto. It is my opinion that they too 
need some instruction in regard to the exercise and regulation 
of their own relations and responsibilities toward the future 
welfare of the race. They have decided that brain work is 
detrimental to the full development of the organization of the female; 
but they do not worry over the effects of tobacco, whisky 
and certain vile habits upon the congenital vigor of 
both boys and girls. Fathers and medical men ought to 
look well to the hygienic duties of their own sex; then 
both sexes would be born with better capacity for life 
and growth, and the poor mother would not be obliged
<pb id="merrick16" n="16"/>
to spend so much care and trouble in rearing the offspring 
of debilitated manhood. Nature does not work in a hurry. 
She is patient, persistent and deliberate never losing sight 
of her own great ends, and inexorable as to her rights.</p>
          <p>If study could check and thwart a child's growth Margaret 
D'Ossoli would have been a case of arrested development 
instead of a large-souled woman. It was her father who kept 
her little head all day over Greek and Latin exercises at the 
age of seven years, when she should have been playing with 
her dolls and romping in the fresh outdoor air. It was her 
father, M. Necker, who trained Madame de Stael into a 
woman whom the great Napoleon hated and even feared so 
much that he insulted her childless wifehood by telling her 
that what France needed was mothers, and sent her into 
banishment.</p>
          <p>It is useless to get up a lamentation that the race will die 
out and children be neglected because woman is going to 
college and becoming informed and intellectual. Nature will 
take care that she keeps to her principal business, which is 
to become a willing (or unwilling) medium to continue the 
species.</p>
        </div2>
        <pb id="merrick17" n="17"/>
        <div2>
          <head>CHAPTER III.</head>
          <head>HOME LIFE.</head>
          <p>MY home during my early married life was in the 
town of Clinton, La. While I never coveted the ownership 
of many slaves, my comfort was greatly promoted by the 
possession of some who had been carefully trained to be good 
domestics, and who were given to me by my father on my 
marriage. I always liked to go into the kitchen, but sometimes 
my cook, who had been for twelve years in training, scorned 
my inexperienced youth, would say emphatically, “<hi rend="italics">Go</hi> inter de
<hi rend="italics">house</hi>, Miss Carrie! Yer ain't no manner er use heah only ter git 
yer face red wid de heat. I'll have dinner like yer wants it. Jes' 
read yer book an' res' easy till I sen's it ter de dining-room.” I 
like just as much to go into the kitchen to-day, and am 
accounted a “born cook,” by my family, being accredited with 
a genius for giving those delicious and elusive flavors that are 
inspirations and cannot be taught. The artist cook burns 
neither food nor fingers, is never hurried or flurried, and does 
not reveal in appearance or manner that the table is indebted 
to her handicraft.</p>
          <p>The common idea of tyranny and ill-usage of slaves was 
often reversed in my case, and I was subject at times to 
exactions and dictations of the black people
<pb id="merrick18" n="18"/>
who belonged to me which now seem almost too 
extraordinary and incredible to relate. I made periodical visits 
to our plantation in Point Coupe parish, over fifty miles 
distant from Clinton. <hi rend="italics">En route</hi> I would often desire my 
coachman to, drive faster, and he would do so for the 
moment, then would fall back into the old pace. If I 
remonstrated he would say: “I's 'sponsible for dese yeah 
horses, an' dey got ter fotch us back home, an' I ain't er 
gwine ter kill 'em gettin' ter whar we gwine ter; an' I'd tell 
Marse Edwin de same thing if he was heah.”</p>
          <p>Gardening has always greatly claimed my heart and time. I 
have taken prizes at horticultural exhibits, and have been no 
little vainglorious in this last year of the century to be able to 
show the public the only blooming century-plant in New 
Orleans, or indeed in the State, so far as I know, and for 
whose blossoming I have been waiting thirty years. There is 
a “mild and gentle” but indissoluble sympathy between the 
human soul and the brown earth from which we have 
sprung, and to which we shall return. There is no outward 
influence that can be compared to that of living, growing, 
blooming things. The resurrections of the springtime cause 
an epidemic of gardening fever that prevails until intenser 
sunshine discourages exertions. When buds are bursting 
and color begins to glow on every bush and trellis I do not 
see how any one can be wholly miserable. The great season 
of hope and promise stirs into fruitfulness of some sort the 
blood that has been marking time for many years. This ever 
renewed, undiscouraged passion of making the earth 
produce seems a proof that
<pb id="merrick19" n="19"/>
man's natural occupation is husbandry. He keeps at it 
through love as well as necessity, and every springtime he, 
as little subdued as nature, renews the contest. It is his 
destiny.</p>
          <p> Therefore it is hardly a matter for surprise that my 
first-born child appealed so strongly to my love of growing 
things that the office of my nurse was a mere sinecure, for 
my boy was always in my arms  -  perhaps the more that I 
had been cut off prematurely from my dolls. With every 
moment devoted to his interests he became such a 
precocious wonder that all the servants prophesied: “Dat 
chile's not long for <hi rend="italics">dis</hi> worl', Miss Cal<hi rend="italics">line!</hi> ” I was not 
disturbed, however, by these mournful predictions, 
knowing how much time and patience had been invested in 
his baby education. When I look back on this period I 
excuse myself on account of my youth, yet at the same time 
I pity myself for my ignorance. The experience I bought was 
high-priced.</p>
          <p> The heavy and exacting responsibilities of a slaveholder 
did not rest upon me with a lightness commensurate with my 
years. During my annual visits to the plantation I was not sure 
of uninterrupted rest even a night, for I never could refuse an 
interview to any of the negroes who called upon me. I observe 
that my diaries of those days are full of notes of my 
attendance upon sick servants. When President Lincoln 
issued his proclamation of freedom to our slaves I exclaimed:  
“Thank heaven! I too shall be free at last!”  -  forgetful of the 
legal disabilities to which white women of these United 
States are yet in bondage.</p>
          <p>In the year 1851 I made my first trip to the North.</p>
          <pb id="merrick20" n="20"/>
          <p>While visiting in Ohio, my husband said: “I think a 
little longer stay here will cure you of your antislavery 
principles;” but I rejected with scorn the idea that I 
would allow my personal comfort to bias my judgment; 
though I had to admit that one of my own trained 
“darkies” was superior “help” to any that I had, so far, 
encountered. My diary of the day records: “I find the 
children here are set to work as soon as they are able 
‘to do a turn’ or go on an errand, and are kept steadily 
at it until they grow up, run away, or die. Dear little ‘Sis 
Daisy’ in this house is running constantly all day long 
and her little fat hands are broader than mine, from 
grasping things too large and heavy for so small a child 
to handle. She drops to sleep sometimes in the big chair 
or on the lounge in my room. I cover her with my dress 
and don't know anything about her when she is 
called  -  happy to be sure she is getting some rest. 
Night must be a blissful time for the overworked hired 
girls of the North, as they know nothing of the many 
restful stops our self-protected blacks allow themselves 
‘between times.’ ”</p>
          <p>Slavery had many aspects. On the occasion of my 
sister Ellen's marriage I was visiting at my father's 
home. Julia, my nurse, was of course deeply interested 
in the preparations; and at one time when she wished 
to be a spectator, my nine-months-old baby declined to 
oblige her by going to sleep. I happened to follow her 
into a darkened room where she had taken the child to 
be rocked, and was just in time to witness a heavy 
blow administered in anger to the little creature. In an 
instant the child was in my arms. “Go out of my
<pb id="merrick21" n="21"/>
sight,” I said, “ you shall never touch her again. You 
are <hi rend="italics">free</hi> from this hour!” At the end of the week I 
was seated in the carriage with the baby on my lap, 
about to return home. Julia stood awaiting orders I 
gave her none.  “Shall I get in?” she finally asked.  
“You are free,” said I, “do as you please.” She 
hesitated until the coachman peremptorily ordered her 
to get in and let him drive on.</p>
          <p>I held the child during the long drive to Clinton, 
though I was very tired, and installed another nurse as 
soon as I reached home, ignoring Julia's existence. She 
had her home in the yard and her meals from my table 
as before. One of the other servants finally came: to me 
saying: “I declare, Miss Cal<hi rend="italics">line</hi>, Julia goin' to die if you 
doan' giv' her somethin' ter do. She doan' eat nothin'. 
Can't yo set her ter washin'?” “She may wash for 
herself or for you if she wishes,” I replied; “she is free!” 
At the end of two weeks Julia threw herself at my 
feet in a deluge of tears begging to be forgiven and to 
be allowed to nurse her baby again. I gave it back to 
her; but the child had turned against her, and it was 
several days before the old relations were restored. 
There were afterward no similar ruptures, but Julia 
always resented the slightest reproof or adverse 
criticism administered to that child by parent or 
teachers.</p>
          <p>At twenty I was the mother of three children, born 
in Clinton, Louisiana. My last and youngest came 
twelve years later. When my friends remarked upon 
the late arrival I informed them that he had come in 
answer to special prayer, like Hannah's of old, so that
<pb id="merrick22" n="22"/>
my husband might have a child to comfort his old age when 
the others were all settled in homes of their own.</p>
          <p>Children are our treasure-idols; we are joined to them by 
our heartstrings. We spend anxious days and sleepless 
nights soothing their cries and comforting, their wailings, 
and we rejoice in our power to cherish and nourish them into 
a full and happy life by any sacrifice of ourselves. God pity 
the desolate little ones who come into the world 
unwelcomed, and grow up in loveless homes! When in the 
great yellow fever epidemic of 1878 I lost my eldest daughter, 
my good children, David and Lula, gave me their baby Bessie 
to comfort my sorrow. She was my own for four years. I was 
in the habit of inviting my cousin, Miss Carrie Brewer, to 
come regularly to instruct and play with her, making the 
visits a recreation for both. In this manner one of the most 
successful teachers of the kindergartens of this city began 
her development, and thus my interest in systematic child 
culture was inaugurated.</p>
          <p>Various children certainly require various management. 
Their education cannot begin too soon. The Froebel system 
of kindergarten teaching has usually a salutary influence on 
troublesome little folks, and is deserving of the increasing 
attention it is receiving. It is only in these latest days of the 
century that the initiatory period before school-life begins 
has had any worthy recognition.</p>
          <p>Mr. Merrick and I belonged to the New Orleans 
Educational Society. I was chairman of a committee which 
was requested to make a report of its views on the meeting 
of June 4th, 1884. Shortly after handing in
<pb id="merrick23" n="23"/>
this report  -  which it had been thought proper a man should 
read  -  we attended a special meeting for the annual election 
of officers. When the balloting began, I found I was not to 
be allowed any part in this matter, though paying the same 
dues ($5.00) as the men, and a working member of a 
committee. In my disgust I said: “I always thought that a 
vote in political affairs was withheld from woman because it 
is not desirable for her to come in contact with the common 
rabble lest her purity be soiled. She should never descend 
into the foul, dusty arena of the polling booth; but here in 
Tulane Hall where we are specially invited, in the respectable 
presence of many good men  -  some of them our ‘natural 
protectors’  -  it is not fair; it is as unjust as it would be for me 
to invite a party to dinner and then to summon half of them 
to the table while the other half are required to remain as 
spectators only of the feast to which all had had the same 
call.” After that I attended no other meeting of the 
Educational Society, and requested my husband to 
discontinue paying my dues.</p>
        </div2>
        <pb id="merrick24" n="24"/>
        <div2>
          <head>CHAPTER IV.</head>
          <head>RUMORS OF OUR CIVIL WAR.</head>
          <p>MR. MERRICK was elected chief justice of the 
Supreme Court of Louisiana in the year of 1855. I 
went with him to New Orleans for that winter and 
lived at the old St. Louis hotel, taking my maid with 
me, but leaving my children at home in the care of their 
grandmother. In a letter dated May 11th, 1856, my 
husband writes: “I bought a house yesterday, at public 
auction, which I think will do very well for us, but it will 
cost a good deal to make it as comfortable as our home 
at Clinton. The property is in Bouligny, a little out of 
the city, where we can keep our horses. There is a 
plank road to the city and the railroad station will be 
near the door. It is an old-fashioned French house built 
upon brick walls and pillars, with a gallery in front and 
rear. I send you a plan of it and a sketch of the 
situation. You will surely be pleased with the place 
after it is arranged. I dined with Mr. Christian Roselius 
yesterday and he congratulated me on the purchase; 
says it is delightful to live out of town. Bouligny is in 
the city of Jefferson, almost half a mile above 
Washington Street. There are six fireplaces in the 
house, and if Aunt Susan does not like any of those 
large rooms below we will finish off one above or
<pb id="merrick25" n="25"/>
build one for her. The girls will go to school in the city
by the cars.”</p>
          <p>We had done some house-hunting the winter before, 
and I was by no means sure I should like living out of 
town. In his next letter Mr. Merrick said: “I do not 
think you had better come down until you have 
somewhat recovered from your disappointment. I have 
read your letter while my colleagues are reading
opinions, and now I take some of the precious time of 
the State to try to console you. The more I see of the 
house and its neighborhood the better I like it. You 
think it is an isolated place up-town, still uninhabited. 
Well, in twenty years everything will be different, and 
while I have you and the children in the house, it will 
be all right. Therefore, you must dry up your tears and 
be happy.”</p>
          <p>It is evident that the home chosen was not such as I 
should have selected; but a residence in it for nearly 
half a century has made it very dear, filled as it is with 
precious memories of those I have loved and lost. So 
extensive are the surrounding grounds, abounding in 
flowers, fruit-trees and gardens, that it has been called 
“the Merrick Farm.” Now that Napoleon Avenue is 
built up with elegant residences, this large square with 
its spacious, old-fashioned, double French cottage 
presents a comfortable, unique appearance in the midst 
of its modern environment.</p>
          <p>So, in November, 1856, I removed from Clinton to 
New Orleans. In a letter written to Mr. Merrick during 
the distresses of dismantling the old home, I said: “If it 
please heaven to give us a long life I hope it may
<pb id="merrick26" n="26"/>
never be our misfortune to move many times.” Heaven 
seemed to have been propitious to my wish, for here I am in 
the same loved home, chosen without my consent, but 
where I expect to fold my willing hands and be made ready 
for my final resting place.</p>
          <p>I do not enter upon the subject of the civil war with a 
disposition either to justify or condemn; and it is with 
reluctance that I revert to a question that has been settled 
forever by fire and blood, and whose adjustment has been 
accepted even by the vanquished. But as this period came 
so vitally into my life, these recollections would be 
incomplete without it; besides, personal records are the side-lights 
of history and, in their measure, the truest pictures of 
the times. Years enough have elapsed to make a trustworthy 
historical perspective, and intelligent Americans should now 
be able to look upon the saddest war that ever desolated a 
land without favor or prejudice and to use conditions so 
severely cleared of the great evil of slavery as stepping-stones 
to our freedom from all further national mischief.</p>
          <p>It must be remembered that the South was not a unit in 
regard to secession. The Southwest was largely a Whig 
area, and in the election of 1860 this element voted for Bell 
and Everett under the standard: “The Union, the 
Constitution and the Enforcement of Law.” It has always 
been a question whether secession would have carried 
could it have been put to the test of a popular vote in 
Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas, Arkansas and Tennessee; for 
whatever may have been personally believed respecting the 
right of secession, it is probable the majority of Whigs and 
some Democrats doubted its
<pb id="merrick27" n="27"/>
expediency. The most solemn, heart-breaking hour in the 
history of the States was that in which men, shaken with 
sobs, signed the ordinance which severed them from the 
Union. Up to that hour the fight by the press had been 
bitter. But when the fate of the State, was sealed, the Stars 
and Stripes lowered and the State flag run up in its place, 
almost every man, irrespective of opinions, accepted its 
destinies, shouldered his musket and marched to the 
front  -  where he stayed until a bullet, sickness or starvation 
emptied his place in the ranks, or until the surrender of Lee 
at Appomattox.</p>
          <p>Many Southern men said: “Never give up the United 
States flag; let us settle our difficulties under it.” On a 
Fourth of July one of our neighbors illuminated his house 
and decorated it with that flag. He was entirely unmolested. 
We were kinder in that instance to Union people among us 
than the Yankees sometimes were to “copperhead traitors” 
at the North. A very few Union men among us went over the 
other side of the Mason and Dixon line; a few more remained 
quietly at home, under great stress of public opinion, but 
gave of their substance, and usually their sons, to the 
Confederate cause. General Banks said, in his occupation of 
the city, “I could put all the Union men in New Orleans in 
one omnibus.”</p>
          <p>This was a season of great anxiety and perplexity. After 
the war became inevitable it may be said that no woman 
wavered in her allegiance to the Southern cause. Our boys 
clamored to be allowed to enlist. From Northern relatives 
came letters wailing: “The
<pb id="merrick28" n="28"/>
war cry is abroad; blood is to be spilled, the nation is to 
be involved in the bitterest of all wars. It may be that 
your son, David, and one of my boys may meet in 
deadly conflict. And when we have cut each other's 
throats, destroyed commerce, ruined cities, 
demoralized the people, outraged humanity, what have 
we gained? Nothing! nothing! Would to God that 
some Washington might arise and stay the deadly 
strife save the country from shame and disgrace in the 
eyes of the world.”</p>
          <p>On the other side was asserted: “We have nothing 
else to do but to fight. No door is open to us. Our 
position as freemen, our all is at stake. Without slavery 
the best sugar plantation in Louisiana would be 
worthless. The British thought our forefathers were 
wrong. We have ten times the cause for revolt which 
they had. Constitutional rights are invaded. We shall 
and <hi rend="italics">must</hi> succeed.”</p>
          <p>Our son David, then in his seventeenth year, was at 
Centenary College, La., when hostilities began. As he 
saw his comrades leaving in order to join the army he 
became very impatient to do likewise. In a letter of 
April 26, 1861, replying to his urgings, I wrote: “I know 
you will not think us unkind in asking you to continue 
your college duties. You have ever been true and filial 
without having it exacted. Persist in these relations, my 
dear boy. Write us freely and tell us in perfect 
confidence whatever you think and feel. Do not act 
hastily. We do not refuse your request but wish you to 
wait for further advice. You have no wife and 
children, but you have parents and sisters to fight
<pb id="merrick29" n="29"/>
for (I don't count little Eddie). I know you are patriotic 
and are willing to make sacrifices for the sake of your 
country, but you must learn much before you go into 
the army.</p>
          <p>“27th. afternoon.  -  Father has come in and says 
Vice-President Alexander Stephens writes to 
President Davis that there are plenty of men  -  as 
many soldiers as are now wanted; and this is good 
news. With Virginia added to the Southern 
Confederacy we ought to carry the day. It is a pity the 
border States are so dilatory. Try to be content where 
you are until your turn comes. Your father says it will 
come, sure and fast, and you know his judgment is 
infallible. Last night I went to the Military Fair for the 
benefit of the soldiers.”</p>
          <p>War is the same the world over, and the women are 
always heroically bearing their share of its 
responsibilities. I see it announced in this morning's 
paper (January 1st, 1900) that Adelina Patti and the 
Duchess of Marlborough are to appear at an 
entertainment at Covent Garden in aid of the English 
fund for officers' wives and families, called for by the 
present war in South Africa. It has been noted that 
after the States seceded a Union woman could not be 
found in the entire South. However that may be, I am 
told on authority that while Jackson, Miss., was 
burning and being pillaged by troops whose horses 
were festooned with women's clothes, General 
Sherman was appealed to by a Southern woman. 
“Well, madam,” said he, “don't you know that the 
Southern women and the Methodist Church North are 
keeping up this war?”</p>
          <pb id="merrick30" n="30"/>
          <p>On June 1st, 1861, I find in one of my letters to my brother: 
“David is at home. We are willing to give him to our country. 
His father spares no trouble or expense to fit him for a 
soldier's duty. He has a drillmaster who instructs him in 
military science during the day, and drills him with the ‘State 
Rights Guards’ every night. This Frenchman, whose name I 
cannot spell, says in two weeks more he will be equal to a 
captain's duties; but his father says he must understand the 
movements of a brigade, battalion and regiment, as well as 
that of company drill; he must know something and become 
qualified for everything, so I think he wishes him to have a 
commission. He is the sole representative of our immediate 
family. I fear for him, his youth is against him  -  he should be 
twenty-one instead of seventeen  -  though this will not 
disqualify him in the volunteer service if he is competent. He 
will go whenever called.”</p>
          <p>Thus my young son left me for the army in Virginia where 
he served until incapacitated by an extraordinary wound 
through the head received at Seven Pines while a member of 
the staff of Gen. Leroy Stafford.</p>
          <p>After this my brother went into an artillery company as 
first lieutenant, and I went to the Myrtle Grove plantation to 
take leave of him. It was during my temporary absence that 
New Orleans fell into Federal possession, which fact caused 
me to spend the whole period of the war with my family on 
the Atchafalaya river at this plantation, having only 
occasional visits from my husband, who found it necessary 
to take the greater portion of his slaves to a safer place in 
another
<pb id="merrick31" n="31"/>
part of the state. His own liberty was also threatened, and 
since one of his colleagues, Judge Voorhies, had been taken 
prisoner and detained away from his family and official 
business, it was desirable that Judge Merrick should incur 
no such risk.</p>
          <p>When Louisiana seceded from the Union many thought 
that no blood would be spilled; that the Yankees would not 
fight, and would never learn to bear arms. But this was not 
Mr. Merrick's opinion, nor that of many others. The men we 
called Yankees had fought bravely for their own 
independence and gained it, and they would fight if 
necessary again; we should see our soil dug up and 
earthworks made on our own secluded plantations.</p>
          <p>I left my New Orleans home furnished with every comfort, 
but have never since seen it in that perfect condition. Under 
General Ben Butler, a public sale was made of the contents of 
the dwelling, stables and outhouses for the benefit of the 
United States. Mrs. J. Q. A. Fellows told me she counted 
thirteen wagon loads of furniture taken out, and had she 
known me then as she afterwards did, she would have saved 
many valuable things for me. I owned an excellent 
miscellaneous library, a new piano, valuable carriages, 
pictures, china and cut glass  -  the acquisition of twenty-five 
years, belonging to me personally who had done nothing to 
bring on the hostilities between the sections. I was informed 
that my carriage was appropriated by a Federal officer for his 
own use.</p>
          <p>It was not long before the predictions of my husband 
were realized by General Banks' invading our retreat
<pb id="merrick32" n="32"/>
with the purpose of investing Port Hudson in the 
rear, Farragut meanwhile was trying to force a 
passage past its guns on the Mississippi river. While 
Gen. Banks' command was in transit we were in daily 
and hourly contact with the troops. When Brig.-Gen. 
Grover ascertained that my household consisted of 
women alone, he had his tent pitched very near the 
dwelling, informing me himself that he did this to 
secure our safety, and assuring me that we should be 
unmolested inside the enclosure of our dooryard and 
the lawn bordering in front on the Atchafalaya river. 
To this end three men were detailed to act as a guard. 
I had then a family consisting of two daughters, Laura 
and Clara, their baby brother Edwin and the two 
Misses Chalfant and Miss Little, who were my guests 
for a long time.</p>
          <p>We were abundantly furnished with the necessaries 
of life, and had a bountiful supply of vegetables 
besides the products of our dairy and poultry yard. 
Lacking new books to read and mail to bring us letters, 
newspapers or magazines, there yet came into our 
lives an intenser interest in what was before us so 
constantly  -  this war between the North and the South; 
and in one way or another everybody, white and black, 
man, woman and child, took a more or less active part 
in carrying it on.</p>
          <p>A letter from Mrs. Mary Wall gives the following: 
“I hear my son Benjamin has gone to the war, Willie 
too, and Bowman has joined the ‘Hunter Rifles.’ There 
is nothing talked of here but war. God help me, but it is 
hard! I nursed these boys and they are part of myself; 
life would be utterly barren without them.
<pb id="merrick33" n="33"/>
But I cannot keep them, nor say a word to stay them 
from defending their country; but I think it will kill me. 
I should be better off without children in this 
extremity.</p>
          <p>“What do you think the North intends? Is it to be a 
war of extermination? Have you read Helper's book? 
He says, ‘Go out of the Union to-day and we will 
scourge you back to-morrow, and make the banks of 
the Mississippi one vast sepulchre, but you shall give 
up your slaves.’</p>
          <p>“Christians ought to pray constantly that the great 
Omnipotent may help us. We cannot fathom God's 
plans. I am ready to let my negroes go if the way 
opens, but I do not see that it is my duty to set them 
free right here and now, though the time may be 
approaching for them to emerge from their captivity. 
God's will is just and good. Oh for perfect reliance on 
His promises to all who love and serve Him!”</p>
          <p>Those who were a part of ante-bellum affairs will 
remember how earnestly serious-minded and conscientious 
slaveholders discussed the possibility of gradual  
emancipation as advocated by Henry Clay. The 
negroes were in their possession by inheritance and by 
the customs and laws of the land in which they were 
born. The slaves were not only a property which had 
come to them as a birthright, but also a responsibility 
which could not be laid aside except in a manner that 
would secure the future good of the slave, with proper 
consideration for what was justly due the master and 
his posterity in the settlement of the great question. If 
politicians on both sides, who cared more for party
<pb id="merrick34" n="34"/>
control and for the money value of a negro than for 
the nation's good, could have been ordered to the rear, 
there is little doubt but that slaveholder and abolitionist 
and the great American people could have been brought 
to weigh the subject together on its own merits, and 
slavery might have been abolished to the satisfaction of 
North and South by law instead of in a cataclysm 
of blood.</p>
          <p>Those were anxious days when families were left 
without their male protectors and we women had only 
ourselves and our young children in our disquieted 
homes. Yet we were cheerful and marvelously comforted, 
drawing nearer day by day to the Almighty 
Father, and sleeping the sleep of the just, though often 
awakened by the sound of guns and to the sight of 
Federal blue-coats drawn up in battle-line with gleaming 
bayonets. There was fasting and prayer everywhere 
during all the long struggle. The most pathetic 
sight was thousands of women, children and slaves, 
with the few non-combatant men the army had spared, 
on their knees in daily union prayer-meetings, at sunrise 
or sunset, before the God of Battles.</p>
          <p>Each of us sympathized with the words of Lizzie 
Dowdell, writing in May, 1861: “I do believe the Lord 
is on our side. If we fail, God have mercy on the world
  -  for the semblance of human liberty will have fled. 
The enemy has men, money, horses and chariots; they 
are strong and boastful. Our sins may be flagrant, and 
we may need to be scourged with scorpions; but will 
God permit us to be overwhelmed?” Both sides 
referred their case to the Court of Heaven  -  as the
<pb id="merrick35" n="35"/>
assaulted Boers are doing to-day. If they sink beneath 
the unlimited resources of the British, will the triumph 
of might now be the triumph of right and of human 
liberties? Three and one-half decades have softened 
the shadow of prejudice and the high lights of  
self-interest. It is well for the whole nation that slavery 
has been abolished and the Union preserved. How  
much loss will be revealed by time in the sacrifices of 
the rights of States against Federal encroachment, is 
a problem for future statesmanship. But it is certain 
today that the moral loss to the United States by the  
civil war will not be recovered in fifty years; while the 
baneful corruption of public sentiment and the ruling 
Administration, by reason of the late Spanish-American 
conflict, is sufficiently apparent to send every 
Christian to his knees, or to the ballot-box  -  the 
only worldly corrector of political wrongs.</p>
          <p>We set a second table for our guard. One 
middle-aged man named Peter, a very young German 
and another  -  all foreigners  -  made up the trio. I had 
every delicacy within my reach provided for them, and 
insisted that my young ladies should see that the table 
was arranged tastefully, enjoining it on them that they 
should respond politely whenever they were spoken to. 
The young German on entering the yard stooped and 
pulled a rose which he gaily pinned on his coat. 
“See,” said one of the girls at the window, “that mean 
Yankee is taking our flowers!” “It is a good sign,” I 
replied, “that he will never do us any greater harm. He 
has a kind expression on his blond young face and in 
his honest blue eyes;” and this fair-faced boy
<pb id="merrick36" n="36"/>
proved a valuable protector on many occasions. He had 
learned his English in the army and to our horror was 
terribly addicted to profanity. Instead of the ordinary 
response to one of our remarks he would come out  
with “The hell, you say!” even when spoken to by one 
of the girls. Nevertheless when at last these faithful 
enemy-friends took up their line of march, we were 
friendly enemies, and regretfully saw them depart.</p>
        </div2>
        <pb id="merrick37" n="37"/>
        <div2>
          <head>CHAPTER V.</head>
          <head>MY DAUGHTER LAURA'S DIARY.</head>
          <p>FROM my daughter Laura's diary, May 21st, 1863, 
let me quote: “The Yankees have been passing this  
house all day, regiment after regiment on their way to 
attack Port Hudson. Two transports have also gone 
by on the river crowded with soldiers. Heaven protect 
our beleaguered men  -  so few against so many! A 
Lieutenant Francis was perfectly radiant this morning  
because a boat was waiting to take his regiment (the 
6th New York) North, as their time is out. He was 
very cordial, perhaps because he has a brother in the 
Confederate army.</p>
          <p>“A Dutch cavalry sergeant lingered, and for half an hour 
stood guard, with his drawn sword keeping away many of 
the vandals. He claimed to belong to the regular United 
States army and said his time would be up in four months 
when he should return ‘to de faderland,’ but he thought 
they would ‘vip’ us at Port Hudson. When a negro and a 
white man came together through the backyard for water
from the cistern, with horrible oaths and imprecations he 
drew his sword and with the back of it struck the negro and 
ordered them both to leave. ‘You nigger,’ said he, ‘you hab 
no peesnis to enter de plantation! ve don' vant you! you 
steals eberyting!’
<pb id="merrick38" n="38"/>
I am sorry for the poor deluded negroes who 
flock after this army.</p>
          <p>“We were all in the parlor this evening when five 
Yankee quartermasters came in out of the rain. ‘Old 
Specs,’ as we call him, was among the number. They 
introduced each other and then very pressingly 
requested me to play the ‘Bonnie Blue Flag.’ At last I 
complied and began to sing, though it nearly kills me to 
be polite to the Yanks:</p>
          <lg type="stanza">
            <l>“ ‘As long as the union was faithful to her trust,</l>
            <l>Like friends and like brothers we revere kind, we were</l>
            <l>just,</l>
            <l>But now that Northern treachery  - ‘</l>
          </lg>
          <p>“Here I broke down, and bursting into tears, left the 
room with my handkerchief to my eyes. They then 
expressed sorrow that my feelings should have been 
so disturbed and sent Clara to ask me to come back. 
She begged so, I dried my tears and returned. Two of 
them engaged in a discussion with me. One said: ‘The 
secession vote in Louisiana was controlled and 
indicated nothing.’ ‘In all true republican governments,’ 
I answered, ‘the voice of the people is the voice of 
God; we do not live under an aristocracy or a 
monarchy.’ ‘But,’ said the man, ‘two-thirds of the 
people were not permitted to vote; your negroes did 
not go to the polls.’ ‘ They are not freemen,’ I 
replied  -  ‘but being a woman I know nothing'  -  and
again the tears rushed to my eyes. Thereupon, one of 
them, Capt. Ives, joined in, saying: ‘The masters voted
for the negroes of course, and,’ he continued, ‘it is not 
fair  -  
<pb id="merrick39" n="39"/>
two gentlemen against one lady. I take the lady's 
part.’ Then in a lower tone, but a perfectly audible  
one, he said: ‘For God's sake talk of something else 
besides the Union and the Confederacy. I'm sick of 
both.’</p>
          <p> “Mrs. Phillips, with Mrs. French, our neighbor, went 
down to headquarters to ask Gen. Banks for a guard. 
She reports that he said he would give her none, for it 
was the women who had brought on and now 
encouraged the war. Mrs. French said she only wished 
to be protected from insult, and from hearing such 
frightful profanity. ‘Madam,’ said he, ‘this war is 
enough to make any man swear. I swear myself.’ 
‘But,’ said she, ‘I wish to spare my Christian mother, 
who is aged and infirm.’ ‘Well,’ said Gen. Banks, ‘I 
can't make her young.’ When she told us about it I 
replied: ‘Banks is nearly as much of a brute as Butler 
himself.’</p>
          <p> “Tues. May 22, 1863.  -  Capt. Callender of 
Weitzel's staff and Capt. Hall of Emory's came last 
night to inquire if the soldiers troubled us. They were 
very polite and spoke so kindly that they reminded us 
of Southerners. It is a pity to see such perfect 
gentlemen in such an army. They offered us a guard 
which I declined, telling them we were Southerners, so 
not afraid; for it galls me to be obliged to have Yankee 
protection. Mother has been so worried since, and 
Clara reproached me so severely for refusing the 
guard that I have wished I had done differently, and I 
was glad when the overseer's big dog came and lay 
down before our door. I thought it was a special 
providence.
<pb id="merrick40" n="40"/>
We have always heard Gen. Weitzel well spoken of; 
he evidently has men like himself on his staff.</p>
          <p>“Monday, May 25, 1863.  -  Saturday evening our 
hopes of Gen. Kirby Smith being able to detain Gen. 
Weitzel were dashed to the ground. Two Yankees 
said they were all safe at Simmsport except two 
hundred cavalry captured by our boys; but their rear 
had been much worried. One of these Yankees was 
sick and asked permission to lie on our front gallery. 
Mother brought him some cold mint-tea which he at 
first declined, but when he saw her taste it he changed 
his mind and drank it. The man said afterward he was 
afraid she wanted to poison him till he saw her take a 
spoonful. Then she brought out a big armchair and 
pillows and made him as comfortable as she could. He 
was grateful, and stated that he was only doing his 
duty fighting for the old flag.</p>
          <p>“One afternoon Sallie Miller rode past, with a 
Yankee officer. Shame on her! Two young lady 
guests on their way to Bayou Goula saw her and were 
indignant with any Southern girl who would ride with a 
Yankee in the presence of their army.</p>
          <p>“Yesterday a quartermaster drove into the lot, 
breaking the gate which was locked, and going to the 
corn-crib. At the instance of the Missouri Yankee, 
propped up in the rocking-chair, we all ran out to the 
lot, and mother talked so to him, Clara and I assisting 
volubly, that he agreed to take only two wagon loads 
of the corn. He seemed actually ashamed for breaking 
our fence, and we were just in time to save the crib 
door by giving him the key.</p>
          <pb id="merrick41" n="41"/>
          <p>“We saw some soldiers driving our cattle and 
milch cows and calves from a field. ‘What a shame!’ 
said I. A chaplain I suppose, dressed in a fine black 
suit, who had come in to get water, replied: ‘Our 
object, miss, is to starve you out so that your brothers, 
husbands and sons will quit fighting and come home to 
provide bread for you. On what ground can you 
expect protection?’ he asked my mother. ‘Is your 
husband a Union man?’ ‘No, indeed!’ I struck in, ‘he 
is a true Southerner.’ He saw a spur hanging up, and 
remarked that there was a man about. Clara 
answered: ‘It belongs to my brother.’ Then the man 
said: ‘I won't ask where he is, for you might be afraid 
to tell.’ ‘I am not afraid,’ replied Clara. ‘You may know 
as well as I that he is not here. He is in Virginia.’</p>
          <p>“Mother remonstrated about her cows being driven 
off to be slaughtered; but seeing that it was useless 
exclaimed at last, ‘Well, take them all!’ This was 
too much for Asa Peabody, who seemed to be a 
friend to our sick soldier; he informed the lieutenant in 
command that he was on guard by Gen. Weitzel's 
orders, and intended nothing should be taken off the 
place; and he turned two of our best cows back into 
our front yard.</p>
          <p>“The men came continually to the cistern for 
drinking water. Mother said: ‘Let the water be free, I 
am glad to have protection for some things, but the 
heavens will send down more rain if the last drop is 
used.’ One of them observing some of the girls at the 
window, drained his cup and taking off his cap to them 
shouted: ‘Success to our cause!’ ‘To ours!’ I called 
back. ‘No,’
<pb id="merrick42" n="42"/>
he said, ‘I drink to the Union. I hope to get to Port Hudson 
before it falls!’ One impertinent fellow asked: ‘Will you 
answer me one question, miss! Who have destroyed most of 
your property, Yankees or Rebels?’ ‘The Yankees, of 
course,’ I said. ‘Well, yours is an exceptional case,’ he 
retorted. Oh! I never saw so many soldiers and so many 
cannon!</p>
          <p>“Asa Peabody was reproved by our Missourian for using 
profane language in the presence of ladies. He answered 
very contritely, ‘I'll be damned if I will do so any more! You 
are right.’ He was a brave, good man. We heard of his 
kindness to many women along the march, and I hope our 
guerillas whom he so dreaded  -  as anybody in the world 
would  -  did not get him, for he vowed he should ‘keep his 
eyes peeled’ for them.</p>
          <p>“In a recent bombardment at Port Hudson  -  when the 
spectacle was sublime  -  an old negro woman said she knew 
the world was coming to an end ‘becaze de white folks dun 
got so dey kin make lightnin'.’</p>
          <p>“May 26, 1863.  -  A Yankee officer called yesterday 
evening; said he belonged to the famous (infamous, I say) 
Billy Wilson Zouaves, whose bad character is now wholly 
undeserved. We were still in the parlor when Col. Irwin, 
Asst.-Ad.-Gen., called, another officer with him. We tried to 
be civil, but I deeply feel the humiliation of enforced 
association with this invading enemy. However, Gen. Grover 
has been very considerate since he knew we are a 
household of women. Two wagon-masters came for corn 
and took what they wanted, breaking open the crib. A 
chaplain, Mr.
<pb id="merrick43" n="43"/>
Whiteman, very kindly took a note from mother to Gen. 
Grover, and promised to intercede for her. The General came 
immediately, and said nothing more should be taken unless 
it was paid for. Mother declared she would beg her bread 
before she would buy it with their money; but I told her she 
had begged the bread of the family, which already belonged 
to us, by prayers and intercessions and tears enough to 
make it very bitter food. Some of the quartermasters have 
since given her statements of what has been taken from 
Myrtle Grove. ‘Corn we must have,’ said one man. ‘but I will 
leave this untouched if you will tell me where I can procure 
more on some other plantation.’ Mother then directed him to 
Tanglewood where father had an immense quantity stored, 
and from which place the hands had all been moved into the
interior, after the large crop of cotton had been burned by 
our own people. When this cotton on Tanglewood was 
burning the negroes stood around crying bitterly; and father 
and mother both call it ‘suicidal policy of the Confederates’
to destroy the only ‘sinew of the war’ we have which will 
bring outside cash to purchase arms and other military 
supplies.”</p>
          <p>It should be related that when we heard of General Banks' 
being at Simmsport my daughter Clara thought we ought to 
send or go at once to his headquarters and ask for 
protection. I find the following copy of a letter which partly 
explains the safety accorded us by the Federal army during 
the period recounted.</p>
          <pb id="merrick44" n="44"/>
          <div3 type="letter">
            <opener>“To Major General Banks, in Command of  U. S. 
Troops at Simmsport, La.</opener>
            <p>“DEAR SIR:</p>
            <p>“I reside near the head of the Atchafalaya where it first 
flows out of Old River, and our male friends are all absent. 
We are all natives of Louisiana, and, though we cannot bid 
you welcome, we hope and trust we may confide in your 
protection and in the generosity and honor which belongs 
to United States officers.</p>
            <p>“We have no valuable information to give, nor do we 
think you would ask or require us to betray our own people 
if we had it in our power. But we can promise to act fairly 
and honorably, and to do nothing unworthy the high 
character of Judge Merrick, who is the head of this family. 
Therefore, we expect to prove ourselves worthy of any 
generous forbearance you may find it in your power to 
extend toward defenseless women and children, who appeal 
thus to your sympathy and manhood; for</p>
            <lg>
              <l>“ ‘No ceremony that to great one 'longs,</l>
              <l>Not the King's crown, nor the deputed sword,</l>
              <l>The marshal's truncheon, nor the judge's robe,</l>
              <l>Become them with one-half so good a grace</l>
              <l>As mercy does.’</l>
            </lg>
            <closer><salute>“Very respectfully,</salute>
<signed><name>“CAROLINE E. MERRICK.”</name></signed></closer>
          </div3>
          <div3>
            <p>The result of this letter, which I presented in person, was 
the following pass:</p>
          </div3>
          <pb id="merrick45" n="45"/>
          <div3>
            <opener>“Headquarters, Department of the Gulf, 
19th Army Corps,
Simmes' Plantation, May 19,1863.”</opener>
            <p>“Guards and Patriots:</p>
            <p>“Pass Mr. Chalfant, Mrs. Merrick, and party, with 
their carriages and drivers, to their homes, near the 
head of the Atchafalaya.</p>
            <closer>
              <signed>“RICHD. B. IRWIN,<lb/> 
“A. A. General.”</signed>
            </closer>
          </div3>
          <div3>
            <p>“Camp Clara, Jackson, Miss., May 31, 1863.  -  We have 
good water and our men are improving, but many are ill with 
typhoid fever”  -  thus my brother wrote. “The sickness 
enlists my deepest sympathy. The number of soldiers' 
graves is astonishing. From morning until night Negroes are 
constantly digging them for instant use. General Lovell 
inspected our battery the other day and said he wanted it 
down on the river; so just as soon as our horses arrive we 
are to go to work. The men are well drilled, but we lack 
horses and ammunition. I hear David's regiment is at 
Petersburg, Va.”</p>
            <p>In Confederate times the people were patient under the 
sickness in camp, and never a complaint was sent to 
Richmond about poor food and bad water which caused as 
many fatalities as powder and ball. Increased knowledge 
and improved methods of camp sanitation seem almost to 
justify the indignant protests against embalmed beef and 
typhoid-breeding water that have been heaped upon 
Congress and officers of the War
<pb id="merrick46" n="46"/>
Department in the late Spanish-American war. One out of the 
four of my father's great-grandsons who enlisted for the 
Spanish-American struggle lost his life in an unhealthy 
Florida camp before he could be sent to Cuba. It is plain to 
every fair-minded investigator that many of these fatalities 
were due to a lack of those essentials in which every 
housekeeping woman, by nature and training, is especially 
qualified. It was a relief to the minds of the mothers of the 
nation to learn that near the close of the late Cuban conflict 
a woman had been appointed on the National Military 
Medical Commission. It is a woman's proper vocation to care 
for the sick. Men who would exclude women from the ballot-box  
on the plea that they only who fight ought to vote,
should remember Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale who 
have served armies so effectually.</p>
            <p>Elizabeth Barrett Browning said: “The nursing movement 
is a revival of old virtues. Since the siege of Troy and earlier 
we have had princesses binding wounds with their hands. It 
is strictly the woman's part, and men understand it so. Every 
man is on his knees before ladies carrying lint; whereas if 
they stir an inch as thinkers or artists from the beaten line 
(involving more good to general humanity than is involved 
in lint), the very same men would condemn the audacity of 
the very same women.”</p>
            <p>A young naval officer, at my dinner table, once dissented 
from such views which I had expressed, and of which 
Bishop Warren of the M. E. Church had heartily approved. 
“Until women,” said this young officer, 
<pb id="merrick47" n="47"/>
“furnish this government for its defense with soldiers and 
sailors from their own ranks they should be prohibited from 
voting.” “Dear sir,” I replied, “how many soldiers and 
sailors does this country now possess in its active service 
whom the women have not already furnished from their own 
ranks?”</p>
            <p>The young man yielded but was not convinced, even 
when an eminent physician remarked that he had heard 
many a young mother say that she would rather march up to 
the cannon's mouth than to lie down to meet her peculiar 
trial. He further stated that when their hour came they were 
always full of courage, and, in his opinion, their maternity 
ought to count for something to them of great value in the 
government.</p>
            <p>All men in an army do not fight. No more important 
branch of the military service existed during the civil war 
than that which the women of the Confederacy controlled. 
They planted and gathered and shipped the crops which fed 
the children and slaves at home and the armies in the field; 
they raised the wool and cotton that clothed the soldiers 
and the hogs and cattle that made their meat; they spun and 
wove the crude product into cloth for the home and the 
army; their knitting needles clicked until the great 
surrender, manufacturing all the socks and “sweaters” and 
comforters which the Confederate soldier-boys 
possessed  -  our nearly naked boys toward the 
last, so often on the march called “Ragged Rebels.”</p>
          </div3>
        </div2>
        <pb id="merrick48" n="48"/>
        <div2>
          <head>CHAPTER VI.</head>
          <head>WAR-MEMORIES: HOW BECKY COLEMAN WASHED 
HESTER WHITEFIELD'S FACE.</head>
          <p>AMONG the Federal vessels stationed at Red River 
Landing was the Manhattan, commanded by Captain 
Grafton, a high-minded officer as the following incident 
proves. A letter from Laura Ellen to her brother David, 
dated at Myrtle Grove, records: “Stephen Brown, 
mother's head manager on this place, has been very 
sick. Dr. Archer, who was stopping with us all night, 
went to see him, and after an examination. reported 
that he could do nothing to relieve him without 
chloroform and surgical instruments, both of which 
were inaccessible and out of the question; and he 
candidly told mother Stephen could not live twenty-four 
hours without an operation. Mother, heart-broken 
and in tears, begged the doctor to tell her to what 
means she could resort to save so faithful a servant. The 
doctor said they had everything needful on the Federal 
gunboats. Mother instantly determined to go to Red 
River Landing and appeal for help; but she wished 
Dr. Archer to go with her and explain the case. He 
objected, saying he had never held any communication 
with the enemy, and he did not wish to spoil his
<pb id="merrick49" n="49"/>
record with the Confederates. But mother finally 
induced him to accompany her.</p>
          <p>“It seemed to us a forlorn hope. When she started 
off  with Dr. Archer, mother enjoined it upon us to have 
the best dinner that we could prepare for the officers 
who were to come back with her, which suggestion we 
took the liberty of overlooking, as we did not dream she 
could succeed in such an unheard-of undertaking. 
When she reached the Mississippi and waved her 
handkerchief, a tug came from the gunboat to the shore 
and she asked to see the commanding officer. The tug 
offered to take mother to the gunboat, but at first 
objected to the doctor going with her. Finally both went, 
and were received on the deck of the big warship. 
Captain Grafton said he feared that any surgeon or 
officer might be captured, and that he must have a 
written guarantee against that possibility before he 
could run such a risk. Mother told him that Captain 
Collins and his scouts were thirty miles distant; she 
could only assure him that none who came to her aid 
would be molested. Dr. Archer supported her opinion; 
but the captain declined the adventure; whereupon 
mother burst into tears. ‘Captain Grafton,’ she said, ‘I 
did not come here to teach you your duty; but I came to 
perform mine. Now if the negro's life is not saved, his 
death will lie at your door, not mine.’ Capt. Grafton 
replied: ‘Madam, I don't like you to put it that way!’ 
Moved by that view or her tears  -  he sent the tug for 
the captains of two other gunboats, and the three held a 
council of war, finally consenting that a surgeon with 
his assistants and the
<pb id="merrick50" n="50"/>
necessary equipments should have leave to go 
provided he would himself assume the responsibility 
for his absence from the boat, for the military 
authorities would make no order about it. Thus Dr. 
Mitchell first came to Myrtle Grove on an errand of 
mercy.</p>
          <p>“None was more surprised than mother herself 
when Dr. H. W. Mitchell, surgeon of the Manhattan, 
offered to go with her. It had been eight months since  
these Federal naval attachés had set foot on land, and 
apparently they greatly enjoyed the long drive with only 
a handkerchief for a flag of truce floating from the 
carriage window. The doctor went to the ‘Quarters’ to 
see Stephen, and mother flew to the kitchen and dining-room  
to put forth her rare culinary skill in compensation 
for our negligence. After dinner we had music, and Dr. 
Mitchell sang us many new songs, and proved to be 
very intelligent, entertaining and agreeable. I treated 
him well, too, as I was bound to do after his kindness. 
At dinner I had on a homespun dress trimmed with 
black velvet and Pelican buttons: when they went 
away I even gave the doctor my hand, 'though always 
before I had refused to shake hands with a single one 
of them. Not for anything on earth ‘would I have done 
as much previously.’ ”</p>
          <p> During the many months that the U. S. gunboat 
Manhattan remained at Red River Landing, I saw the 
officers from time to time, and once a crevasse 
detained Dr. Mitchell for three days in our home. The 
friendship thus established has outlived the war and proved 
a source of great pleasure to me; while the sympathy
<pb id="merrick51" n="51"/>
the doctor so kindly extended later, during the bitter 
reconstruction days, was a solid satisfaction and 
comfort, for his cultured and experienced mind 
comprehended both sides of the situation. Devoted to 
the Union, he yet expressed no inordinate desire to 
exterminate the South, and never said he would be glad 
to hang Jefferson Davis. He writes July 30, 1865: “We  
are all Americans. We speak one language; our flag is 
the same; we are citizens of the United States. It is the 
right spirit to recognize no section. If all should uphold 
the Government faithfully under which we enjoy so 
many blessings, internal strife in the future will be 
impossible.”</p>
          <p>“Mother says,” the diary continues, “let an army be 
friend or foe, it takes everything it needs for its 
subsistence on the march, and starvation is in its track. 
Brig.-Gen. Grover's Division camped for two weeks on 
this plantation, and the General's own tent was pitched 
next to our side gate. When some of his staff were 
here visiting, one of them took baby Edwin in his arms 
and kissed him. After they had gone I scolded him for 
kissing a Yankee, and said I was going to tell his 
‘Marse Dadles!’ He began to cry and sobbed out, ‘O 
Sissy, he was a good Yankee!’ They rob the corncribs, 
so it is well they carry off the negroes too. Ours, 
however, will not go; they have made no preparation to 
depart, and mother interviews them daily on the 
subject, but leaves them to decide whether they will 
‘silently steal away,’ which is their method of disappearing. 
Mr. Barbre's negroes have all gone except two, and Mr.
<pb id="merrick52" n="52"/>
Chalfant's and Mrs. French's are preparing to go, so our 
neighbors are generally upset.”</p>
          <p>In a letter of an earlier date Laura Ellen gives an account 
of Mr. Chalfant coming to me and asking advice as to how 
the slaves could be prevented from following the army. I had 
wanted to know of my neighbor if his negroes would take 
his word on the subject. If so, he might state to them that 
they might be free just where they were  -  that it was not 
necessary they should leave their homes, their little children, 
their household effects, tools and other “belongings ” which could not 
be carried on the march (to say nothing of the hogshead 
of sugar nearly all of them had in their cabins), 
their poultry, dogs, cows and horses. If it were candidly 
explained to them that their freedom was to be a certainty, 
and that they might be hired to work by their old owners, 
doubtless many would be convinced of the wisdom of 
remaining at home and taking their chances
  -  all would depend on the confidence the negro had in the 
master  -  but they should, in all cases, be left to 
make their own decision  -  whether to go or stay. Some of the 
people who could read should be shown the newspapers,
<hi rend="italics">left by the Yankees</hi>, wherein it is urged upon the 
government to put the black men into the army. 
This should be read to them by one of their own color.</p>
          <p>After hearing these views Mr. Chalfant was reported 
having said: “Mrs. Merrick has more sense about 
managing the negroes than any man on the river.”</p>
          <p> However that may have been, our slaves remained 
on the place, and many of them and their descendants 
are yet in the employ of the family. It was considered
<pb id="merrick53" n="53"/>
by some persons to be treason to the Confederacy to speak 
of the freedom of the slaves in their presence, as if refusal to 
acknowledge the emancipation act would avert its going 
into effect.</p>
          <p>This attitude towards their liberty destroyed all 
confidence in the master's advice, and so his Negroes left 
him. It was several years before the emancipation of the 
slave was universally effected, there being secluded places 
into which the news of freedom percolated slowly, and 
where slavery existed for some time uninterrupted. In 
following the army parents often abandoned young 
children. These were given to anybody who would burden 
themselves with their care. In many cases the natural 
guardian never again appeared, and these abandoned ones 
were practically bond-servants until they learned how to be 
free of themselves.</p>
          <p>Careworn and anxious as we were waiting news of our 
loved ones in the field and of the cause in which we had 
risked our all, we were too busy to be sad. Telegraphic 
communication with the center of war was often cut off for 
many days. During these agonizing, silent seasons the 
women drew nearer together, and kept busy scraping lint for 
the hospitals and converting every woolen dress and every 
yard of carpet left in the house into shirts and bedding for 
our boys at the front. We varied the labor of managing 
plantations with every species of bazaar, supper, candy-pulling 
and tableaux that would raise a dollar for the army. 
Then we got all the entertainment we could out of our daily 
domestic round, as I did out of Becky Coleman, one of my 
old servants who occasionally relieved the monotony of her
<pb id="merrick54" n="54"/>
“daily round” by coming “to 'nquire 'bout de white 
folks.” It was October when she made one of these 
visits, but summer reigned in earth and sky. A noble 
avenue of black walnuts completely shaded one side of 
my Myrtle Grove house. The large green nuts were 
beginning to ripen, for when a branch swayed in the 
wind one would drop from time to time with such a 
resounding thump upon the ground that it was a matter 
for satisfaction when Becky seated herself on the 
steps of the porch without having encountered a thwack 
on her head from the missile-dealing trees.</p>
          <p>“I hear singing over in the woods,” said I to Becky. 
“Why are you not at the meeting this evening?”</p>
          <p>“Who? me? eh  -  eh  -  but may be yo don' kno' I 
dun got my satisfacshun down afar a while ago. I'm 
better off at home. Hester done got me convinced. 
Lemme tell you how 'twas. One Sunday ebenin' I 
heard tell dar wurs gwine to be er sort er 'sperience 
praar-meeting down to ole Unk Spencer's house, en es 
'twan't fer, I jes' tuk my foot in my han'! I did, en I 
went dar.</p>
          <p>“Well, ev'rything was gwine on reg'lar, en peaceable, 
widout no kin' er animosity, plum till dey riz up to sing de 
very las' <hi rend="italics">hime</hi>. De preacher who wus er 
leadin' got up den en tuk up de <hi rend="italics">hime</hi> book en gin out:</p>
          <lg>
            <l>“ ‘Ermazin' grace how sweet de soun'</l>
            <l>In de beleever's year!’</l>
          </lg>
          <p>“Now, yo knows yo'sef dey ain't nothin' tall incitin' 
'bout dat ar' chune: you knows it; en as fer me, I was 
jes' dar er stanin' up wid de res', wid my mouf open,
<pb id="merrick55" n="55"/>
jes' er singin' fer dear life, never dreamin' 'bout nothin' 
happ'nin', when heah cum :Hester Whitfiel'  - coming 
catter-corner 'cross from de Luther side er de house, 
wid her han' h'isted up in de aar, en I 'clar fo' de Lawd, 
she hit me er clip rite in my lef' eye, en mos' busted it 
clean outen my haid. It cum so onexpectedlike dat 
leetle mo'en I would er drap in de flo'. I jes' felt like 
I wus shot! Den she had er pa'cel er big brass rings 
on her hen', en dey cut rite inter my meat!</p>
          <p>“I tell yo', ma'am, I was hurted, I jes' seed stars, 
I did! so I up en tole her: ‘ 'Oman, ef yo got ennything 
'g'inst me, why don't you come out in de big road 
en gimme er fair fight? Fer Gawd-elmighty's sake 
don' go en make 'ten' like yo happy, en bus' my eye 
open dis heah way.’ Says I, ‘ 'Ligion ain't got nuthin' 
ter do wid no sich 'havoir; I don' see no Holy Sperit 
'bout it,’ says I. ‘ 'Twas jes' de nachul ole saturn what 
mak' yo' do dat, en I jes knows it,’ says I. ‘ 'Ligion 
don' make nobody hurt nothin',’ says I. Yo reads de 
Book, Miss Calline, en yo knows I'm speakin' de 
salvashun trufe, now ain't I?</p>
          <p>“Den all de folks cum crowdin' 'roun' en gethered a 
holt uv us, en ef dey hadn't, I lay I woulder stretched 
her out dar in de flo', fer I'm de bes' 'oman  -  er long 
ways  -  en I would er had <hi rend="italics">her</hi> convinced in no time. 
But dey all tu'ned in en baig me ter look over it, bein' 
es how it happen in meetin'-time; but I tell yo,  
ma-am, I never look nowhars wid dat eye fer mor'n 
free weeks. Why, it wus so swole up en sore, I jes' 
had ter bandage it wid sassyfras peth and wid slippery 
ellum poultices day en night, en my eye wus dat red, en
<pb id="merrick56" n="56"/>
bloodshottened, dat I never 'spected to see daylight 
outen it no mo'; en I clar' fo' de Lawd it ain't got rite 
na'chul till yit!</p>
          <p>“No longer'n dis very ebenin' my ole man, Tom, 
says ter me: ‘I dun seed nuff trouble wid yo, Beck. 
You needs dem big pop eyes er yone to patch my 
close, en wuk wid, en I ain't er gwine to hev no bline 
'oman rown' me,’ says he; ‘en I let yo know frum dis 
out yo don't go ter no mo' praar-meetin's, 'zaminashuns 
er what-cher-callums; dat's de long en short uv it!’ 
says he. ‘Ef you ain' got sense nuff ter stay away frum 
dar,’ says he, ‘I'll insense yo wid my fis'.’ I knows de 
weight er dat han' er hisen, en I'm gwine min' him  <hi rend="italics">dis</hi>
time, ennyhow;“ and Becky pointed toward the cabin 
from whence the sound of singing was wafted on the 
breeze, saying, “Yes'um, I'm gwine stay away frum 
dar, fer er fac'!”</p>
          <p>“Becky, is such an incident common at your
prayer-meetings?” I inquired.</p>
          <p> “Why, no, ma'am, nuthin' like dat never happen to 
me befo'; yit, I 'members mighty well when Betsy 
Washin'ton cum thoo'  -  'fo' she jined de chu'ch. 'Twas
in de meetin'-house, but yo couldn't onerstan' one 
single wud de preacher wus er sayin', fer she wus jes' 
er shoutin' es loud es she could fer who las' de longes'  
-  en I onertuk, fool like, to hole her; fer she wus in 
sich a swivit, we wus feared she'd brek loose en go 
inter a reg'lar hard fit, so I jes' grabbed good holt er de 
'oman, 'roun' de wais', es she wus er hollerin', en er 
jumpin'; en when she felt de grip I fotch on her, she 
tu'n 'roun', she did, en gethered my sleeve in 'tween her
<pb id="merrick56a" n="56a"/>
<figure id="ill1" entity="merri56"><p>BECKY COLEMAN</p></figure>
<pb id="merrick57" n="57"/>
fingers (en she is jes' es strong es enny mule), en shore's 
yore settin' dar in dat air big cheer, en I'm er stannin' heah, 
talkin' ter yer, she gin me one single jerk, en I 'clar ter Gawd, 
she tore my whole sleeve outen de arm-hole, en ripped er 
big slit clean 'cross my coat body! Why I jes' thought de 
'oman wus gwine ter strip me start naiked, rite dar in de 
meetin'-house! I got dat shame I jes' let er go, I did, en den 
went perusin' roun' 'mongst de wimmin en borryd er shawl 
ter kiver me up; en den I moved on todes home.</p>
          <p>“But I mus' let yo know de nex' time I met up wid 
Betsy, I washed her face good wid what she dun. I jes' 
tole her de nex' time she got ter shoutin' 'roun' me  
she mout bre'k her neck  -  I wan't gwine hole her, I 
wan't gwine tech her; ‘fer,’ says I, ‘yo done gone 
en 'stroyed de bes' Sunday dress I got, yo is dat,’ 
says I, ‘fer er fac'!’</p>
          <p>“Den Betsy 'lowed she didn't keer, en dat she didn't 
know what she was er doin', but I tuk mighty good  
notice she never made no motion to grab onter Aunt 
Sally Brown's co'se homespun gown when <hi rend="italics">she</hi> tuk er 
tu'n er hol'in uv her. But uv co'se, I heap ruther hev 
my close tore dan to hev my eye busted out. But dey 
ain't no need er airy one bein' done; en I tole her so, 
I did dat. ‘Sholey Christians,’ say I, ‘kin 'joy dersef 
widout hurtin' nobody, neither tarin' der close!’ 
I up en axed her of she eber knowed de white folks in 
de big house karyin' on datterway, en ef she eber seed 
Miss Marthy er Miss Reeny er cuttin' up like dat in de 
white folks' meetin'-house? Well, she jes' bust out er
<pb id="merrick58" n="58"/>
laffin' in my face at dat, en she 'lowed niggahs wan't like 
white folks nohow.</p>
          <p>“ ‘I knows better'n dat,’ says I. ‘Fer Gawd made 
us all outen de dus' er de groun', bofe de white en de 
black’; en, Miss Calline, yo' ma uster tell me ef I 
'haved mysef, en kep' mysef clean, en never tole no 
lies, ner 'sturb yuther folks' things, I wus good es ennybody, 
en I b'lieves it till yit; dat's de salvashun trufe,
I'm tellin', white 'oman, it sholey is!</p>
          <p>“But <hi rend="italics">den</hi> Betsy got mad, she did, en gin me er push, 
-  we wus walkin' 'long de top er de levee  -  en I wus so 
aggervated dat I cum back at 'er wid er knock dat made 
her roll down smack inter de gully. Den she hollered so 
de men fishin' unner de river bank cum er runnin'. 
She had don' sprain her wris', en ef her arm had been 
broke she cudn't er made no mo' fuss. Lemme tell 
yo de trufe! de very nex' Sunday dey tu'ned us bofe 
outen de chu'ch case we fit, en I cayn't go to praar-meetin' 
tell I done jine ergin.”</p>
          <p>“Well, Becky, you've made me forget there is a war 
and Yankee raids, and I reckon I'll have to give you a 
cup of store-coffee for doing it.”</p>
          <p>“Thanky, Miss Calline! I'll be powerful 'bliged ter 
yo'; en I mus' be er movin', en pa'ch dis heah coffee 
fer my ole mammy's supper, for she's gittin' monshus 
tired of tea off dem tater chips what we has ter drink 
dese days.”</p>
        </div2>
        <pb id="merrick59" n="59"/>
        <div2>
          <head>CHAPTER VII.</head>
          <head>WAR MEMORIES: THE STORY OF PATSY'S GARDEN.</head>
          <p>OUR vision of the outside world of human affairs was 
very narrow and circumscribed in those war-times, and my 
seminary of five young girls was often a victim to <hi rend="italics">ennui</hi>. No 
weekly mail, no books, no music, no new gowns from one 
year's end to another.</p>
          <p>The only vital question was: “What is the war news?” 
There were also no coffee, no loaf-sugar, no 
lemons in the house. However, with plenty of milk, 
eggs and butter, fresh fruit and vegetables, to say nothing 
of fowls galore, we survived. The girls made cake 
and candy, so with the abundance of open-kettle brown 
sugar, we diversified our daily <hi rend="italics">menu</hi> with many sweet 
compounds.</p>
          <p>The one unfailing source of pleasure was the garden.
True, the army at Morganza would send out a raid 
every fortnight, when fences were broken down and destroyed:
then the cows and other cattle would get in 
and partake of our lettuce and cabbages. But we never 
gave up; the negroes would drive the marauding cattle 
out and rebuild the fences every time they were destroyed. 
On one of these occasions I heard Miss Emma 
Chalfant say to Uncle Primus: “I shall tell on you 
when your people come back here; I heard you curse
<pb id="merrick60" n="60"/>
and swear at Mrs. Merrick's cows this morning  -  and you 
call yourself a preacher, too!” “Dese cows and 
dese Yankees is 'nuff to make ennybody cuss, Miss 
Emma,” said the negro, as he went along snapping his 
long whip as he drove the poor animals away from the 
garden.</p>
          <p>Here I am tempted to give the true story of Martha 
Benton. This girl became positively exhilarated under the 
influence of perfume and flowers. The delectable odor of 
Sweet Olive  -  a mingled essence of peach, pineapple, and 
orange-flower  -  produced in her a frenzy of delight. She had 
been introduced to the exotic floral world by the proprietor 
of a fine garden where she frequently visited.</p>
          <p>Her father could not understand his daughter's delight  
in the contemplation of Nature's beauty; for, as 
far as these things were concerned, he was afflicted with 
a total blindness worse than a loss of actual sight. Mr. 
Benton was fond of fruit but he never noticed or admired 
the flowers from which the fruit was formed. 
Nevertheless, he seemed pleased that his neighbor, Mr. 
Thornton, should be interested in his daughter, and 
take pleasure in talking with her about his rare plants.</p>
          <p>“Miss Patsy,” said Mr. Thornton, “it requires tact and 
perseverance to grow a perfect lily.”</p>
          <p>“I could do it if I had the bulbs,” said the girl.</p>
          <p>At the close of the interview, a dozen bulbs and an 
extensive package of plants were put in the carriage for the 
young lady to take home, as a compliment to her interest in 
his favorite pursuit.</p>
          <p>Mr. Benton's front door-yard was given over to his
<pb id="merrick61" n="61"/>
horses, and sometimes the calves were allowed to share in 
the rich pasturage it furnished. Several ancient cedar trees, 
ragged and untrimmed, and two thrifty oaks stood on what 
should have been a lawn, and a straggling row of 
pomegranates grew along the line of fence on one side, 
apparently in defiance of cattle and all other exterminating 
influences.</p>
          <p>On her return home, Patsy displayed her treasures to her 
mother, and was enthusiastic over her floral prospects.</p>
          <p>“Papa,” said she, “you must give me space in the 
vegetable garden for the present, and Tom must prepare the 
ground.”</p>
          <p>“It is perfect foolishness,” said Mr. Benton. “Old 
Thornton is such a stuck-up old goose that I hated to make 
him mad, otherwise I should not have brought these things 
home with me. The truth is I would not swap a row of cotton-plants 
in my field for everything that old man has got in all 
his grounds and greenhouses put together.</p>
          <p>“O father, everything he has is so beautiful!” said Patsy. 
“The summer-houses are like fairy-land, all covered over 
with roses and vines.”</p>
          <p>“You keep cool, Pat, and don't set your head on having a 
flower-garden. Your mother was just like you when I married 
her. The first thing she did was to set out some rose bushes 
in the front yard. Soon after she took sick and they all died, 
and she herself came mighty near doing the same thing; so 
she gave up the whole business, like a sensible woman. Tom 
is hoeing potatoes just now, and you must not call him
<pb id="merrick62" n="62"/>
from his work to plant this truck, which is of no account 
anyway. You'd better fling it all in the river. It would be far 
better than to go out on the damp ground wasting your time 
and labor.”</p>
          <p>“No, indeed,” said Patsy, who had the dauntless energy 
of a true gardener; “I shall plant them myself  -  every one!”</p>
          <p>She did so, and her treasures made themselves at home in
the rich, mellow soil, and throve wonderfully in response to 
her careful tending. In a short time she gathered roses and 
violets, and her golden-banded lilies shot up several tall 
stems crowned with slender, shapely buds, which were 
watched with great solicitude. Every morning Patsy would 
say: “They will bloom to-morrow.”</p>
          <p>Mr. Benton refused to “consider the lilies” of his 
daughter except in the light of a nuisance. Only the evening 
before, he had seen her standing in the bean-arbor with 
Walter Jones, who seemed lost in his admiration of the girl 
while she devoured the beauty of the flowers; and Mr. 
Benton was not happy at the sight.</p>
          <p>“It just beats the devil,” he said to himself, “how 
there is always a serpent getting into a man's garden to  
beguile a foolish girl. It ain't no suitable place anyhow 
for girls to be dodging around in with their beaux. 
My mind's made up,” said he, striking his closed right 
hand into the open palm of the left. “I'll wipe out 
that flower-bed.”</p>
          <p>Early the next morning, before the family had risen, 
Mr. Benton marched into the garden armed with a hoe.
<pb id="merrick63" n="63"/>
He went to the lily-bed and began the work of destruction. 
Aunt Cindy, the cook, was surprised as she took 
a view from the kitchen window.</p>
          <p>“I 'clar to gracious, de boss is a-workin' Miss Patsy's 
garden!” said she to the housemaid.</p>
          <p>“He's workin' nuthin'. He's jes' a-cuttin' an' choppin' up 
everything,” said the more observant girl.</p>
          <p>“Ef dat ole vilyun is spilen' dat chile's gyardin',” 
said the cook, “when she fines it out, little Patsy'll tar 
up de whole plantation. You listen out when she gits 
up en comes down-stairs. He ain't done no payin' job 
dis time, I let you know he ain't dat. Great Gawd,” 
said she, “ Patsy'll be mad!  -  eh  -  eh!”</p>
          <p>Jeff Davis, Patsy's little brother, who was out at the 
front gate, spied Walter Jones riding past, and called 
out at the top of his voice, “Come in, old fellow, and 
take breakfast. Sissy's asleep yet, but we have killed 
a chicken, and churned, and opened a keg of nails, 
and there are three fine cantaloupes in the ice-box.”</p>
          <p>Walter could not resist this invitation. He dismounted 
and joined Mr. Benton on the porch, where 
that gentleman was sipping a cup of black morning 
coffee after his labor in the garden.</p>
          <p>The dense fog was clearing away, and the sun began 
to show in the eastern horizon. Patsy came down, and 
was working up the golden butter, printing it with her 
prettiest molds. She knew Walter was there. She 
set on the breakfast table a vase filled with water, and 
ran out into the garden to get the lilies for a centerpiece 
of beauty and color  -  for they had actually opened 
at last.</p>
          <pb id="merrick64" n="64"/>
          <p>In a moment everybody was electrified by a terrific 
scream. The whole family rushed out to see what was 
the matter. Patsy was wringing her hands and crying. 
She pointed to the ruined dower-beds, sobbing: “Some  
wretch has cut up and destroyed all my beautiful 
flowers!”</p>
          <p>“Well,” said Jeff Davis, “it won't do any good to 
bellow over it like that, Sis. Breakfast is ready I tell 
you. Come to breakfast.”</p>
          <p>But Patsy continued weeping and bewailing her loss, 
regardless of entreaties. She called down some anathemas 
on the perpetrator of the outrage, which were 
not pleasant to Mr. Benton's ears.</p>
          <p>“Dry up this minute!” said he.“<hi rend="italics">I</hi> cut out those 
confounded things, and don't let me hear any more 
about it. Dry up,” said he, sternly, “and eat your 
breakfast.”</p>
          <p>Neither Patsy nor her mother ate anything, however. 
They looked through their tears at each other, and were 
silent, while rebellious indignation filled their hearts. Mr. 
Benton was angry.</p>
          <p> “It is beyond all reason,” said he, “for you to act 
so because I did as I pleased with my own. Anyhow, I 
would not give one boy,” looking at Jeff, “ for a whole 
cow-pen full of girls like you,” glancing at Patsy.</p>
          <p>Walter was an indignant spectator of this scene, and 
he wished he could take his sweetheart and fly away 
with her forever. He took a hasty leave, and Mr. 
Benton went earlier than usual on his daily round of 
plantation business.</p>
          <pb id="merrick65" n="65"/>
          <p>Her mother soothed Patsy's feelings as well as she 
could and counseled patience.</p>
          <p>“I hate him, if he <hi rend="italics">is</hi> my father,” said the girl.</p>
          <p>The mother reminded her of the filial respect due the 
author of her being.</p>
          <p>“I wish I had no father,” she answered perversely.</p>
          <p>Mr. Benton rode back of the fields to the woods where 
the “hands” were cutting timber to complete a fence 
around the peach orchard. Tom had started in the 
spring wagon to go three miles down the river for some 
young trees. Jeff sat on the seat beside Tom. When  
Mr. Benton returned to go with them to select the trees 
at the nursery, the horses were apparently restive and 
rather unmanageable.</p>
          <p>“Get down, Jeff,” said Mr. Benton, “and ride my horse, 
while I show Tom how to drive these horses.”</p>
          <p>A moment after, Jeff and his father had exchanged 
places, and before Mr. Benton had fully grasped the 
reins, the ponies took fright and ran out of the road. 
Coming suddenly to a tree which had fallen, they 
bounded over it, and the vehicle was upset, and Tom and 
Mr. Benton were violently thrown out. Tom escaped 
with a few bruises, but Mr. Benton was seriously injured, 
his arm being dislocated and his leg broken. Jeff 
went off for the doctor, and Mr. Benton was carried 
home insensible.</p>
          <p>When Patsy saw the men bringing him into 
the house in this condition, she thought he had been killed, 
and was filled with heart-breaking grief and remorse. 
“Poor father!” she cried, “this is my punishment for
<pb id="merrick66" n="66"/>
wishing I had no father this morning. O Lord, forgive 
me!”</p>
          <p>Mr. Benton, however, was not dead. After his injured 
limbs were set to rights by the surgeon, he was 
soon in a fair way to recovery. In the meanwhile, 
Patsy and her mother devoted themselves wholly to 
ministering to his wants and ameliorating the tedium 
of his confinement to the house.</p>
          <p>“Pat,” said he one day, “you have been a great 
trouble and expense to me, but when a man is suffering 
with a lame arm and a broken leg, women are certainly 
useful to have in the house. You and your mother 
have waited on me and taken good care of me for many 
weeks.” He glanced at his spliced leg and his swollen 
arms and continued: “I could not do much cutting up 
things in the garden at this time, Pat, could I? I wish 
I had let your flower-beds alone. Great Caesar! didn't 
you make a fuss over those lilies, and your mother, too! 
You both actually cried over that morning's work.”</p>
          <p>“Never mind, father,” asid Patsy, reassuringly, 
“we don't care now,” and she smiled sweetly and lovingly 
upon the hard-featured invalid.</p>
          <p>He was almost well when he said to her: “You are 
a good child, and let me tell you, my doctor has fallen 
in love with you. He told me so. Yes, Pat, he is 
mashed on you, and intends to ask you to marry him, 
and you had better give up any foolish notion you may 
have taken to Walter Jones, and take the doctor. He is 
the best chance you will ever have. He is doing well in 
his profession, and besides having a good home to take 
you to, he belongs to an influential family. All I ask
<pb id="merrick67" n="67"/>
of you is to promise me you won't refuse the doctor. 
You would be a fool to reject such a man.”</p>
          <p>“O father!” said the girl, “don't ask me to promise 
anything.”</p>
          <p>“I am going to be obeyed in my own house,” said 
Mr. Benton, flying into a rage, “and if you don't mind 
me, I will put you out of doors.”</p>
          <p>Patsy was struck with consternation.</p>
          <p>The invalid was now able to move around without 
assistance. Patsy's heart was full of fear and trembling.</p>
          <p> The next morning she did not come down to print the 
butter or bring her father his early morning coffee. The 
girl had eloped with Walter Jones.</p>
          <p>“This is worse than breaking my leg,” said Mr. Benton, 
after his first indignation had subsided.</p>
          <p>When he could speak calmly about his trouble to his 
wife, he wondered what made Patsy so thoughtless and 
undutiful, when she was an only daughter and had 
everything she wanted.</p>
          <p>“She is very much like her father,” said Mrs. Benton,  
“and she thought marriage would set her free  -  
emancipate her.”</p>
          <p>“That's pure folly,” said Mr. Benton, “for all 
females are and ought to be always controlled by their 
male relations. Nothing on God's earth can emancipate 
a woman. She only changes masters when she 
marries and leaves her father's house.”</p>
          <p>“Patsy, then, has changed masters,” said his wife, 
“and she seems to be very happy  -  in her own little 
home.”</p>
          <pb id="merrick68" n="68"/>
          <p>“Old woman, don't get saucy, and I will tell you 
something,” said he. “I have sent to the city for some 
flower-garden truck, and Maitre has sent me up fifty 
dollars' worth of what he calls first-class stuff on the 
last boat, and I am going over to give it to Pat to plant. 
Tom shall do the work for her, too. To tell you the 
real downright truths you all made me feel cheap about 
chopping up her things, and I am going to replace 
them.”</p>
          <p>“Oh, I am so glad!” said Mrs. Benton.</p>
          <p>“Yes,” said Mr. Benton, “I am perfectly willing to 
restore forty times as much as I destroyed. Pat's a 
trump, anyhow, and I shall never go back on her for 
anything she has ever done. You can rely on that for 
a fact.”</p>
          <p>Mr. Benton was a good neighbor of ours and assumed 
some authority over my household. He never failed to 
come over immediately whenever we had a visit from 
one of the gunboats, and to reprove me sharply for 
having any friendly interviews or even civilities with 
our “kidney-footed enemies,” as he called them, yet at 
the same time he would seize upon all the newspapers 
which these gentlemanly officers had given us, and carry 
them off for his own delectation, regardless of all 
objections and expostulations.</p>
        </div2>
        <pb id="merrick69" n="69"/>
        <div2>
          <head>CHAPTER VIII.</head>
          <head>HOW WOMAN CAME TO THE RESCUE.</head>
          <p>MARY WALL'S letter from Clinton, Louisiana, December 
27th, 1863, contains some strong expressions 
showing the feeling and suffering among women at that  
period: “You must keep in good heart, my dearest 
friend, about your son David. I heard he was killed, 
but I have just seen Mr. Holmes, who has read in a 
Yankee paper: ‘Capt. Merrick, of Gen. Stafford's staff, 
slightly wounded.’ When I heard your boy was 
killed I felt the blow, and groaned under it, for I know 
just how the iron hoof of Death tears when it settles 
down among the heart-strings. When my mother died 
last year I did not weep so bitterly, for my only disinterested 
friend was taken from the evil to come; but 
when my gifted, first-born soldier-boy, Willie  -  my 
pride and joy  -  was laid in a lonely grave, after a mortal 
gunshot wound, on the Atchafalaya, at Bute la 
Rose, <hi rend="italics">that</hi> was my hardest trial. I could not get to 
him; yet he was decently buried; but of my brother, 
shot in the fight in Tennessee, we only know that he  
was killed on the battlefield at Franklin. By son 
Wesley was reported missing after the fight at Chickamauga;  
he may be a prisoner. I have heard nothing
<pb id="merrick70" n="70"/>
more, and my heart stands still when I think he too 
may have been killed, and his body thrown in some 
ravine or creek, as the Texans are said sometimes to do 
when they ‘lose’ their Yankee prisoners on the march. 
God knows, this is a wicked war! And there is Bowman, 
my third son; he may be dead, too, for I do not 
hear a word from him. I try to steady my aching 
heart, and go my way, and do my work with a quiet 
face; but often when I am alone I sink down, and the 
waves go over me. I can pour out my heart to you. I 
do hope your boy is but ‘slightly wounded,’ so that he 
may be sent home to stay with you for a long time. 
May God in mercy spare his life; but do not set your 
heart on him.”</p>
          <p>General Leroy Stafford, on his last visit to his family, 
stopped at Myrtle Grove and gave me the particulars of 
the engagement at Payne's Farm, Virginia, where 
David was shot, the ball entering his head above the 
ear and going out on the other side below the ear. He 
fell from his horse, it was supposed, mortally wounded. 
By careful medical attention he survived with the loss 
of the sight of one eye and power of hearing, the drum 
of one ear being perforated. He suffered temporarily 
much disfigurement from paralysis of the facial nerve.</p>
          <p>When I saw my handsome boy in this condition my 
distress will not tax the imagination. “O mother,” he 
said, “you ought not to feel in this way! So many 
mothers' boys can never come back to them, and I am 
alive and getting better every day. If you have felt 
cramped in expression, or anybody has ever done anything 
to you which rubbed you up the wrong way, throw
<pb id="merrick71" n="71"/>
down your gauntlet and I'll fight your battles for you. 
Don't shed tears over me!”</p>
          <p>Judge Avery said, referring to David's own letter 
from the hospital: “It is the letter of a hero  -  not one 
word of complaint in the whole of it.” The surgeon 
attributed my son's extraordinary recovery to the purity 
of blood uncorrupted by the use of tea, coffee, tobacco 
or alcoholic drinks.</p>
          <p>My brother Milton was surrendered with Port Hudson. 
July 25, 1863, he wrote as follows from Custom  
House Prison, No. 6, in New Orleans: “About 2,000 
of us are confined here. Many have called to see me 
but only one has succeeded  -  a young lady who announced 
herself as my cousin; said she was determined 
to have some relative here. I never saw her before. 
The ladies are very kind and contribute to all our 
wants. Hundreds of them promenade daily before our 
windows; they look very sweet and lovely to us. Their 
hearts are all right, but when they motion to us with 
their fans, or wave their handkerchiefs, the guards take 
them away. The whole city is overrun with Yankee 
soldiers, and the citizens have a subdued look. We 
have no reason to complain of our treatment, and we are 
not wholly discouraged. General Lee's successes are 
favorable to our cause, and I now feel hopeful of a 
speedy termination of our troubles, though I see no 
prospect of our release.</p>
          <p>“I learn that the Yankees took everything from 
Mr. Palmer's near Clinton  -  negroes, mules, horses, 
made the old man dig up his buried silver, and so 
alarmed the old lady that she died of fright. I wish to
<pb id="merrick72" n="72"/>
get back into the field  -  feel more and more the necessity 
to establish our independence, for we can never 
again live at peace with our hated enemy.”</p>
          <p>Notwithstanding these things, and that this brother 
was confined for two years at Johnson's Island until 
after the surrender, he has been for years a loyal Republican, 
and is now an office-holder under Mr. McKinley.</p>
          <p>The jayhawkers were a terror in the neighborhood 
of our Pleasant Hill plantation, where Mr. Merrick 
spent much of the war period. These guerilla ruffians 
gave many peaceable families much anxiety even when 
dwelling hundreds of miles from the seat of war. 
They were sometimes deserters and always outlaws, 
but wore the uniform of either army as fitted their 
purpose, and had no scruples about doing the most lawless 
and violent deed. At one time it was unsafe to 
let it be known when the head of the family would go or 
return, or to allow any plans to leak out, lest a descent 
should be made on the unprotected home or the equally 
unprotected absentee. A careful servant, closing the 
window-blinds at night, would caution Mr. Merrick to 
keep out of the range of wandering shots which were 
often fired by these desperadoes at unoffending persons. 
It has been asserted that the guerillas were a 
part of the regular Confederate service, whereas they 
were outlawed by the army and subject to summary 
discipline if caught.</p>
          <p> When the Confederates were about us we enjoyed immunity 
from terrors. For ten months General Walker's 
Division of our army camped on my land. It is
<pb id="merrick73" n="73"/>
true we divided our stores with them, but the sense of 
protection was an unspeakable comfort. I had rooms 
near my house furnished as a hospital, where I nursed 
friend or foe who came to me sick. Medicines were 
treasured more than gold; a whole neighborhood felt 
safer if it were known there was a bottle of quinine 
in it; drugs were kept buried like silver.</p>
          <p>There was much delightful association with the officers 
and our other friends in the army. Every family  
had stored away for times of illness or extra occasions 
little remnants of our former luxuries  -  wine, tea, 
coffee. General Dick Taylor was once my guest. 
While sipping his champagne at dinner he exclaimed: 
“I'm astonished, madam, that in these times you can 
be living in such luxury!” I explained that it was 
the birthday of my daughter Laura for which we had 
long prepared, and that to honor it I had drawn on 
my last bottle of wine saved for sickness. I made him 
laugh by relating that every time there was a raid I 
got out a bottle of wine, and we all drank in solemn 
state to keep it from falling into the hands of the 
Yankees.</p>
          <p>General Richard Taylor was the only son of President 
Zachary Taylor. He married a Louisiana lady 
and made his home in this State. He won conspicuous 
success as a brigade commander under Stonewall 
Jackson, and being placed in command of the Department 
of Mississippi and Alabama, his brilliant record 
culminated in the victories of Mansfield and Pleasant 
Hill. Having beaten General Banks one day at the 
former place, he pursued him to Pleasant Hill  -  where
<pb id="merrick74" n="74"/>
my husband was during the whole period of active 
warfare  -  and defeated him again. He was the idol of the 
Trans-Mississippi Department  -  and well he might be, 
for he alone had redeemed it from utter hopelessness. <ref id="ref1" n="1" target="note1" targOrder="U">*</ref></p>
          <p>General Polignac was the brave Frenchman who set 
his men wild with amusement and enthusiasm, by placing 
his hand on his heart and exclaiming with <hi rend="italics">empressement</hi>:
“Soldiers, behold your Polignac!” They 
beheld him and followed him ardently. While partaking 
of very early green peas and roast lamb at my 
table, he asked: “Did you raise these peas under glass, 
madam?”  “Look at my broken windows,” I answered, 
“all over this house, and tell whether I can 
raise peas under glass when we can't keep ourselves 
under it!” With such as we had everybody kept open 
house while the war lasted. Nobody, high or low, was 
turned from the door; so long as there was anything 
to divide, the division went on: all of which has confirmed 
me in the belief that in proportion as artificial 
social conditions are removed the divinity in man 
shines out; and that Bellamy's vision for humanity 
need not be all a dream.</p>
          <p>The news of Lee's surrender fell with stunning force, 
although it had long been feared that the Confederates 
were nearing the end of their resources. Peace was 
welcomed by the class of men who had begun to desert 
the army, because their little children were starving 
at home; it was also good news to the broad-minded 
student of history who knew that surrender was the
<note id="note1" n="1" place="foot" anchored="yes" target="ref1">* Southern Historical Society Papers.</note>
<pb id="merrick75" n="75"/>
only alternative for an army overpowered; that the 
victories of peace embodied the only hope. But there 
were many who said: “Why not have fought on until 
all were dead  -  man, woman and child? What is left 
to make life worth the living?”</p>
          <p>An impression prevailed among the victors of the  
civil war, that the Southern people were lying awake 
at night to curse the enemy that had wrought their 
desolation and impoverishment. Nothing could have 
been further from the truth. After the first stupefying 
effects of the surrender, the altered social and domestic 
conditions engrossed every energy. Every home 
mourned its dead. Those were counted happy who 
could lay tear-dewed flowers upon the graves of their 
soldier-slain  -  so many never looked again, even upon 
the dead face of him who had smiled back at them as 
the boys marched away to the strains of Dixie. The 
shadow of a mutual sorrow drew Southern women in 
sympathy and tenderness toward weeping Northern 
mothers and wives. True men who have bravely 
fought out their differences cherish no animosities  -  
though still unconvinced.</p>
          <p>The women in every community seemed to far outnumber 
the men; and the empty sleeve and the crutch 
made men who had unflinchingly faced death in battle 
impotent to face their future. Sadder still was it to  
follow to the grave the army of men, of fifty years and 
over when the war began, whose hearts broke with the 
loss of half a century's accumulations and ambitions, 
and with the failure of the cause for which they had 
risked everything. Communities were accustomed to
<pb id="merrick76" n="76"/>
lean upon these tried advisers; it was almost like the 
slaughter of another army  -  so many such sank beneath 
the shocks of reconstruction.</p>
          <p>It is folly to talk about the woman who stood in the 
breach in those chaotic days, being the traditional 
Southern woman of the books, who sat and rocked herself 
with a slave fanning her on both sides. She was 
doubtless fanned when she wished to be; but the antebellum 
woman of culture and position in the South 
was a woman of affairs; and in the care of a large 
family  -  which most of them had  - and of large interests, 
she was trained to meet responsibilities. So in 
those days of awful uncertainties, when men's hearts 
failed them, it was the woman who brought her greater 
adaptability and elasticity to control circumstances, 
and to lay the foundations of a new order. She sewed, 
she sold flowers, milk and vegetables, and she taught 
school; sometimes even a negro school. She made pies 
and corn-bread, and palmetto hats for the Federals in 
garrison; she raised pigs, poultry and pigeons; and she 
cooked them when the darkey  -  who was “never to wuk 
no mo' ”  -  left her any to bless herself with; she 
washed, often the mustered-out soldier of the house filling 
her tubs, rubbing beside her and hanging out her 
clothes; and he did her swearing for her when the 
Yankee soldier taunted over the fence: “Wall, it doo 
doo my eyes good to see yer have to put yer lily-white 
hands in the wash-tub!”</p>
          <p>As soon as the war was over, my daughter went with 
her grandmother to visit her fathers relatives in 
Massachusetts. In letters to her, beginning September
<pb id="merrick77" n="77"/>
16, 1865, I thus described the conditions under 
which we were living: “The war was prosperity to the 
state of things which peace has wrought. Society is 
resolving itself into its original elements. Chaos has 
come again. St. Domingo is a paradise to this part 
of the United States, which is cut off from the benefits 
of government. The negroes who have gained their 
liberty are more unhappy and dissatisfied than ever 
before. Poor creatures! their weak brains are puzzling 
over the great problem of their future. Care 
seems likely to eat up every pleasure in their bewildered 
lives. They no longer dance and sing in the quarters 
at night, but sit about in dejected groups; their chief  
dissipation is prayer-meeting. It is a dire perplexity 
that they must pay their doctor's bills; they resent it 
as a bitter injustice that ‘Marster’ does not ‘find 
them’ in medicine and all the ordinary things of living 
as of old. They say no provision is made for them. 
They are left to work for white folks the same as ever,  
but for white folks who no longer care for them nor 
are interested in their own joys and sorrows. Freedom 
meant to them the abolition of work, liberty to rove uncontrolled, 
to drink liquor and to carry firearms. As 
Rose recently said to me: “I don't crave fin'ry  -  jes 
plenty er good close, en vittles, en I 'spects ter get dese 
widout scrubbin' fer 'em,’ ‘Where is de gover'ment?’ 
they ask anxiously, ‘en de forty acres er lan', en de 
mule?’  -  which each one of them was led to reckon on. 
They expected a saturnalia of freedom; to be legislators, 
judges and governors in the land, to live in the 
white folks' houses, and to ride in their carriages.
<pb id="merrick78" n="78"/>
They cannot understand a freedom that involves labor 
and care. They say they were deceived; that white 
folks still have the upper hand, and ride while they 
walk. I pity them deeply.</p>
          <p>“You know I have never locked up anything. Now 
I am a slave to my keys. I am robbed daily. Spoons, 
cups and all the utensils from the kitchen have been 
carried off. I am now paying little black Jake to steal 
some of them back for me, as he says he knows where 
they are. I cannot even set the bread to rise without 
some of it being taken. All this, notwithstanding the 
servants are paid wages. It is astonishing that those 
we have considered most reliable are engaged in the 
universal dishonesty. I understand they call it ‘sp'ilin' 
de 'Gypshuns!’</p>
          <p>“The Mississipi river is open;  -  the boats ply daily up 
and down, but we have no mail. We are surely 
treated like stepchildren of the great United States. 
Already the tax-assessor has come to value our property; 
the tax-gatherer has collected the national revenues; 
agents of the Freedman's Bureau are taking the 
census of negro children preparatory to forming 
schools, and Northern land buyers are looking out for 
bargains in broken-up estates. Is it strange that we  
ask: ‘Where is the postmaster?’ We have had already 
too much exclusion from the world in Confederate days. 
Let us emerge from our former ‘barbarous state of 
ignorance,’  -  and let me hear from my absent child in 
Massachusetts!</p>
          <p>“Your father has written from New Orleans as follows: 
‘I have extricated my Jefferson City property
<pb id="merrick79" n="79"/>
from the seizure of the Federals, and have paid $800 
to release it, though I think it will cost several hundred 
more. They  -  the Federals  -  burnt the mill mortgaged 
to me by G. B. M.  -  and I shall lose $5,000 on that. 
I think I have done remarkably well to have paid off  
so many incumbrances, but I wish you to have for the 
present a rigid management of all matters of expense. 
I am glad I have a prospect of getting my law library 
into my possession again. I find four hundred and fifty 
volumes of it in the quartermaster's department.</p>
          <p>“I can only extricate my affairs by economy on the 
part of all my family, and am only asking that they 
show a little patience under our temporary separation. 
I do not wish them to aid me by earning anything, except 
it be David, for himself individually; but we shall 
all be in the city in our own home the sooner by the 
exercise of present self-denial.</p>
          <p>“ ‘I am glad to learn that the people of the South 
denounce the assassination of Lincoln,’ for it was a 
ruinous misfortune to us.</p>
          <p>“At present we are living at as little expense as 
possible with no perceptible income. We are taxed 
according to the ante-bellum tax lists  -  including our 
slaves and property swept off the earth by the armies. 
A fine sugar estate, near us on the river, worth two 
hundred thousand dollars, was sold-last week for taxes, 
which were seven thousand five hundred dollars. The 
whole estate  -  land, dwelling, sugar house, stock  -  
brought only four thousand dollars. There could 
scarcely be completer confiscation than these unrighteous
<pb id="merrick80" n="80"/>
tax-sales under which millions of dollars worth of 
property are advertised for sale.</p>
          <p>“I saw a late article in the <hi rend="italics">Chicago Times</hi> in which 
the writer said: ‘You had better be a poor man's dog 
than a Southerner now.’ If our negroes are idle and 
impudent we are not allowed to send them away. If 
we have crops waiting in the fields for gathering, the 
hands are all given by the semi-military government 
‘passes to <hi rend="italics">go</hi>,’ though we pay wages; and (weakly or 
humanely?) buy food, furnish doctors and wait on the 
sick, very much in the old way, simply because nature 
refuses to snap the ties of a lifetime on the authority 
of new conditions. I have it in mind to make Myrtle 
Grove a very disagreeable place to some of the most 
trifling, so that they will get into the humor to hunt 
a new home.</p>
          <p>“General Price said: ‘We played for the negro, and 
the Yankees fairly won the stake, with Cuffy's help.’ 
Let them have him and <hi rend="italics">keep</hi> him! Your father has 
just had a settlement with his freedmen. They are 
extremely dissatisfied with the result. Though they 
acknowledge every item on their accounts, furnished 
at New Orleans wholesale prices, it is a disappointment 
not to have a large sum of money for their year's labor 
-  that, too, after an extravagance of living we have not 
dared to allow ourselves, an