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The Woman in Battle: A Narrative of the Exploits, Adventures, and Travels of Madame Loreta Janeta Velazquez, Otherwise Known as Lieutenant Harry T. Buford, Confederate States Army. In Which Is Given Full Descriptions of the Numerous Battles in which She Participated as a Confederate Officer; of Her Perilous Performances as a Spy, as a Bearer of Despatches, as a Secret-Service Agent, and as a Blockade-Runner; of Her Adventures Behind the Scenes at Washington, including the Bond Swindle; of her Career as a Bounty and Substitute Broker in New York; of Her Travels in Europe and South America; Her Mining Adventures on the Pacific Slope; Her Residence among the Mormons; Her Love Affairs, Courtships, Marriages, &c., &c.:
Electronic Edition.

Velazquez, Loreta Janeta, b. 1842

Ed. by C. J. Worthington

Funding from the Library of Congress/Ameritech National Digital Library Competition supported the electronic publication of this title.

Text scanned (OCR) by Patricia Walker
Images scanned by Carlene Hempel and Jill Kuhn
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First edition, 1999
ca. 1.3MB
Academic Affairs Library, UNC-Chapel Hill
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill,
1999.

        © This work is the property of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. It may be used freely by individuals for research, teaching and personal use as long as this statement of availability is included in the text.


Call number E605 .V43 1876 (Wilson Annex, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill)

Source Description:
(title page) The Woman in Battle: A Narrative of the Exploits, Adventures, and Travels of Madame Loreta Janeta Velazquez, Otherwise Known as Lieutenant Harry T. Buford, Confederate States Army. In Which Is Given Full Descriptions of the Numerous Battles in which She Participated as a Confederate Officer; of Her Perilous Performances as a Spy, as a Bearer of Despatches, as a Secret-Service Agent, and as a Blockade-Runner; of Her Adventures Behind the Scenes at Washington, including the Bond Swindle; of her Career as a Bounty and Substitute Broker in New York; of Her Travels in Europe and South America; Her Mining Adventures on the Pacific Slope; Her Residence among the Mormons; Her Love Affairs, Courtships, Marriages, &c., &c.
Loreta Janeta Velazquez
C. J. Worthington
Richmond, VA.
Dustin, Gilman & Co.
1876


        The electronic edition is a part of the UNC-Chapel Hill digitization project, Documenting the American South.
        Gaps on pages 73 and 74 owing to damage have not been filled.
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Illustration

MADAM VELASQUEZ IN FEMALE ATTIRE.
[Frontispiece Image]

        

Illustration

[Title Page Image]

THE WOMAN IN BATTLE: A NARRATIVE OF THE
Exploits, Adventures, and Travels
OF
MADAME LORETA JANETA VELAZQUEZ,
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS
LIEUTENANT HARRY T. BUFORD,
CONFEDERATE STATES ARMY. IN WHICH IS GIVEN
Full Descriptions of the numerous Battles in which she participated as a Confederate
Officer; of her Perilous Performances as a Spy, as a Bearer of Despatches, as
a Secret-Service Agent, and as a Blockade-Runner; of her Adventures
Behind the Scenes at Washington, including the Bond Swindle;
of her Career as a Bounty and Substitute Broker in New York;
of her Travels in Europe and South America; her Mining
Adventures on the Pacific Slope; her Residence
among the Mormons; her Love Affairs,
Courtships, Marriages, &c., &c.

EDITED BY
C. J. WORTHINGTON,


                         Command the trumpets of the war to sound!
                         This stillness doth perplex and harass me;
                         An inward impulse drives me from repose,
                         It still impels me to achieve my work.SCHILLER--The Maid of Orleans.

PROFUSELY ILLUSTRATED.

RICHMOND, VA.:
DUSTIN, GILMAN & CO.
1876.

Page verso

Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1876,
By LORETA J. VELAZQUEZ,
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
ELECTROTYPED AT THE BOSTON STEREOTYPE FOUNDRY,
No. 19 Spring Lane.

Page 4

TO MY
Comrades of the Confederate Armies,
WHO, ALTHOUGH THEY FOUGHT IN A LOSING CAUSE,
SUCCEEDED BY THEIR VALOR IN WINNING
THE ADMIRATION OF THE WORLD,
THIS NARRATIVE
OF MY ADVENTURES AS A SOLDIER, A SPY,
AND A SECRET-SERVICE AGENT,
Is Dedicated,
WITH ALL HONOR, RESPECT, AND GOOD WILL.

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AUTHOR'S PREFATORY NOTICE.

        If I expected by this story of my adventures to achieve any literary reputation, I might be disposed, on account of its many faults of style, to ask the indulgence of those who will do me the honor to undertake its perusal. As, however, I only attempted authorship because I had, as others assured me, and as I myself believed, something to tell that was worth telling, I have been more concerned about the matter than the manner of my book, and I hope that the narrative will prove of sufficient interest to compensate for a lack of literary elegance in setting forth. Mine has been a life too busily occupied in other matters for me to cultivate the graces of authorship; and the best I can hope to do is to relate my story with simplicity and truth, and then let it find its fate, whether it be praise or condemnation.

        The composition of this book has been a labor of love, and yet one of no ordinary difficulties. The loss of my notes has compelled me to rely entirely upon my memory; and memory is apt to be very treacherous, especially when, after a number of years, one endeavors to relate in their proper sequence a long series of complicated transactions. Besides, I have been compelled to write hurriedly, and in the intervals of pressing business, the necessities I have been under of earning my daily bread being such as could not be disregarded, even for the purpose of winning the laurels of authorship. To speak plainly, however, I care little for laurels of any kind just now, and am much more anxious for the money that I hope this book will bring in to me than I am for the praises of either

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critics or public. The money I want badly, while praise, although it will not be ungratifying, I am sufficiently philosophical to get along very comfortably without.

        I do not know what the good people who will read this book will think of me. My career has differed materially from that of most women; and some things that I have done have shocked persons for whom I have every respect, however much my ideas of propriety may differ from theirs. I can only say, however, that in my opinion there was nothing essentially improper in my putting on the uniform of a Confederate officer for the purpose of taking an active part in the war; and, as when on the field of battle, in camp, and during long and toilsome marches, I endeavored, not without success, to display a courage and fortitude not inferior to the most courageous of the men around me, and as I never did aught to disgrace the uniform I wore, but, on the contrary, won the hearty commendation of my comrades, I feel that I have nothing to be ashamed of. Had I believed that my book needed any apologies on this score, it would never have been written; and, having written it, I am willing to submit my conduct to the judgment of the public, with a confidence that I will at least receive due credit for the motives by which I was animated.

        In the preparation of this book for the press, I have been greatly aided by the gentleman who has consented to act as my editor. Although during the war he was on the other side, he has interested himself most heartily in assisting me to get my narrative into the best shape for presentation to the public, and has shown a remarkable skill in detecting and correcting errors into which I had inadvertently fallen. I take pleasure in acknowledging my indebtedness to him.

        The book, such as it is,--and I have tried to make it all that such a book should be by telling my story in as plain, straightforward, and unpretending a style as I could command,--is now, for good or ill, out of my hands, and my adopted country people will have to decide for themselves whether the writing of it was worth the while or not.

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EDITOR'S PREFATORY NOTICE.

        THE frank egotism of such a narrative as is contained in the volume now in the hands of the reader needs no apology. Self-reliance, self-esteem, and self-approbation, all were necessary for the consummation of such adventures as those herein related; and, in the opinion of the editor, a chief merit in the book is the perfect unreserve with which its author gives to the world, not only the full particulars of her numerous daring exploits and adventures, but the motives by which she was influenced in undertaking them, and her impressions of men and events. Since the author has not seen fit to do so, the editor does not feel called upon to argue the question of propriety involved in the appearance of a woman disguised in male attire on the battle-field; but, with regard to some of the transactions in which Madame Velazquez was engaged during the progress of the great civil war, a few words of comment, explanatory rather than apologetic, seem to be required.

        Some of these transactions were of a character that, under ordinary circumstances, would admit of no extenuation; but, in making up a judgment concerning them, several important facts must be constantly borne in mind. One of them is, that Madame Velazquez was acting as the agent of the only government to which she acknowledged allegiance, and that she considered herself as justified in aiding that government by every means in her power, as well by fighting its enemies in the field, as by embarrassing them by such attacks in the rear as are related in her narrative. This plea will, of course, be

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worth nothing to those who refuse to admit that for any purposes the Confederacy had a right to exist. It is necessary, however, to view matters of this kind from a different standpoint from this. The fact that the Federal Government was compelled to recognize the Confederates as belligerents, and was compelled to hold official intercourse with them, renders argument on this head unnecessary. Admitting that they were belligerents, they were justified, within certain limitations, in doing all in their power to defeat their enemies, not only by opposing them with armies in the field, but by demoralizing them by insidious attacks in the rear, and by hampering their efforts to keep their ranks full, and to provide the ways and means for maintaining the armies at the highest state of efficiency. Whatever view non-combatants might have taken of the war, the men who did the fighting were obliged to consider it, in a great measure, as a trial of skill and valor, and practically to disregard sentimental or political considerations. From a military point of view, therefore, what was proper and justifiable for one side, was proper and justifiable for the other, and will so be considered by impartial critics.

        These remarks have particular reference to the portions of this narrative which relate the experiences of Madame Velazquez as a Confederate secret-service agent at the North during the last eighteen or twenty months of the war. It will be noticed that she speaks with undisguised contempt of some of her associates within the Federal lines,--associates without whose aid she could never have accomplished the work she undertook. The unprejudiced reader will have no difficulty in understanding that their position and hers were vastly different. Some of these people were trusted officers of the government, were sworn to loyalty and fidelity, and were in the enjoyment of the full confidence of the public, as well as of their immediate superiors. Others were men who were loud in their protestations of loyalty, but who, while eager to be recognized as stanch supporters of the Federal government, were, for the sake of gain, secretly engaged in aiding

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the enemy by every means in their power. These people, and the shrewd, sharp woman who made use of them for the furtherance of the work she undertook to perform for the purpose of aiding the government to which she had given her allegiance in carrying on a gigantic contest, are surely not to be judged by the same standard; and that Madame Velazquez does not hesitate to relate the details of her transactions as a Confederate agent and spy, proves that she, at least, does not consider that she has done anything to be ashamed of, and is willing that her conduct shall be freely criticised.

        To many readers, the story of Madame Velazquez's experiences in camp and on the battle-field while disguised as a Confederate officer, will, from the peculiarities of her position, have a particular interest. In the opinion of the editor, however, the most important part of the book is that in which a revelation is made, now for the first time, of the exact manner in which the Confederate secret-service system at the North was managed. There is no feature of the civil war that more needs to have light thrown on it than this; and, as the story which the heroine of the adventures herein set down recites, is an exceedingly curious one, it is deserving of the special consideration of the public, both North and South.

        The editor of this volume was in the United States naval service from near the beginning to the end of the civil war; and as he gave his adhesion to the Union cause from principle rather than passion, and as he has never, either during the war or since its close, had other than the kindest feelings towards those who took the other side, under a sincere conviction that they were right, he not only had had no hesitation in preparing the narrative of Madame Velazquez for the press, but he feels that he can appreciate the motives which, from first to last, seem to have actuated her. The Southern people made a great mistake when they inaugurated the war; but it does not become those who fought in the Federal ranks to doubt, at this late day, the sincerity or honesty of purpose of the vast majority of them.

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        The great American civil war was an event that deserves to be judged dispassionately; and to judge it dispassionately, it is necessary that the people of both sections should understand each other better than they did while the conflict was being waged, or, indeed, than they do now. It is especially important that the people of the North, being the victors, and being in a great measure responsible for the present and future good government of the South, and for a proper appreciation there of the advantages of a cordial and fraternal, as well as a political union, should study the war from a Southern point of view. The present volume, the editor believes, is not only a most interesting narrative of adventure of a very exceptional kind, but it is an important and valuable contribution to the history of the war.

        Madame Velazquez, whose enthusiasm for the cause of Southern independence induced her to discard the garments of her sex, and to assume male attire for the purpose of appearing upon the battle-field, is a typical Southern woman of the war period; and there are thousands of officers and soldiers who fought in the Confederate armies who can bear testimony, not only to the valor she displayed in battle, and under many circumstances of difficulty and danger, but to her integrity, her energy, her ability, and her unblemished reputation. Upon these points, however, it is not necessary to dilate; her story will speak for itself, and that it is a true story in every particular, there are abundant witnesses whose testimony will not be disputed.

        As Madame Velazquez is a typical Southern woman of the war period, so her story furnishes a curious inside view of the Confederacy, and it throws much light on a great number of obscure points in its history. For this reason, if no other, it will deserve the attention of Northern readers, who will find many things stated in it which it is well for them to know. No commendation of any kind is needed to command for it the consideration of the people of the South. From the breaking out of the war to its close, the Confederate cause had no more

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enthusiastic or zealous supporter than the woman who was known as Lieutenant Harry T. Buford. According to her opportunities, she labored with unsurpassed zeal and efficiency, and with a disinterestedness that cannot but be admired.

        With regard to the part performed by the editor in preparing this work for the press, it may be proper to say a few words. The manuscript, when it was placed in his hands, was found to be very minute and particular in some places, and rather meagre in others, where particularity seemed desirable. Having undertaken to get this material into proper shape, correspondence was opened with Madame Velazquez, and a number of interviews with her were had. A general plan having been agreed upon, it was left entirely to the judgment of the editor what to omit or what to insert,--Madame Velazquez agreeing to supply such information as was needed to make the story complete, in a style suitable for publication. From her correspondence, and from notes of her conversations, a variety of very interesting details, not in the original manuscript, were obtained and incorporated in the narrative. The editor, also, in several places has corrected palpable errors of time and place, and has added a few facts not supplied by the author. These corrections and additions have been made after consultation with the author, and with her entire approbation. In preparing her manuscript, Madame Velazquez seems to have endeavored to narrate the incidents of her career in the fullest manner possible; and it consequently contains a large amount of matter which can be of but very little, if any, interest to the general public. It has been necessary, therefore, while expanding in some places, to make large excisions in others; but the story is such an extraordinary one, in many of its aspects, that it has been judged better to give it in too great fulness, rather than to omit what the purchasers of the book would have a right to find in it. The excisions have, therefore, been carefully made, and it is believed that nothing has been omitted that is of value or importance. A few expressions that might needlessly give

Page 12

offence, have either been stricken out or altered, while some, which persons of severe taste may object to, have been permitted to remain as they were originally written, they being in some way characteristic of the writer, or of the circumstances under which she was placed. While Madame Velazquez does not pretend to any literary accomplishments, her style has a certain flavor which is far from unpleasant; and the editor has been careful, in making such changes and alterations as have seemed necessary, to retain the author's own words wherever practicable.

        Owing to the loss of her diary, Madame Velazquez was compelled to write her narrative entirely from memory, which will account for the errors to which allusion has been made. Indeed, considering the multiplicity of events, it is very remarkable that she has been able to relate her story with any degree of accuracy. It is possible that, despite the pains that have been taken to make the narrative exact in every particular with regard to its facts, a few errors may have been permitted to remain uncorrected. These errors, however, are not material, and do not in any way impair the interest of the story.

        Madame Velazquez is a very remarkable woman, and some account of her personal appearance, other than can be obtained from the portraits of her which are given in this book, will doubtless be appreciated by the reader. She is rather slender, something above medium height, has more than the average of good looks, is quick and energetic in her movements, and is very vivacious in conversation. Her frame is firmly knit, and she is evidently endowed with great powers of physical endurance. Those who have seen her in male attire say that her skill in disguising herself was very great, and that she readily passed for a man. At the same time she is anything but masculine, either in appearance, manners, or address. She is a shrewd, enterprising, and energetic business woman, and in society is a brilliant and most entertaining conversationalist, abounding in a fund of racy

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anecdotes, and endowed with a mimetic power that enables her to relate her anecdotes in the most telling manner. In New York, Philadelphia, and other Northern cities, as well as throughout the South and West, she has a large number of very warm friends, who hold her in the highest esteem on account of her eminent talents, her fascinating social qualities, and her unblemished reputation. It is to be hoped that the publication of the story of her checkered career will have the effect of increasing, rather than of diminishing, the number of these friends. Her story is a most remarkable one, in nearly every respect. During the war a number of women, on both sides, from time to time, performed spy duty, and several of them are said to have occasionally assumed male attire. Madame Velazquez, however, it is believed, is the only one of her sex, who, for any length of time, wore a masculine garb, or who participated as a combatant in a series of hard-fought battles. Narratives of the adventures of several heroines on the Federal side have been published, but none of them will at all compare in extent and variety of interest with the volume now before the reader, which has an additional claim on the regards of the public as being the only authentic account of the career of a Confederate heroine that has issued from the press.

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CONTENTS.

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THE WOMAN IN BATTLE.

CHAPTER I.

CHILDHOOD.

        The Woman in Battle.--Heroines of History.--Joan of Arc.--A Desire to emulate Her.--The Opportunity that was offered.--Breaking out of the War between the North and the South.--Determination to take part in the Contest.--A noble Ancestry.--The Velazquez Family.--My Birth at Havana.--Removal of my Family to Mexico.--The War between The United States and Mexico.--Loss of my Father's Estates.--Return of the Family to Cuba.--My early Education.--At School in New Orleans.--Castles in the Air.--Romantic Aspirations.--Trying to be a Man.--Midnight Promenades before the Mirror in Male Attire.

        The woman in battle is an infrequent figure on the pages of history, and yet, what would not history lose were the glorious records of the heroines,--the great-souled women, who have stood in the front rank where the battle was hottest and the fray most deadly,--to be obliterated? When women have rushed to the battle-field they have invariably distinguished themselves; and their courage, their enthusiasm, and their devotion to the cause espoused, have excited the brave among the men around them to do and to dare to the utmost, and have shamed the cowards into believing that it was worth while to peril life itself in a noble cause, and that

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honor to a soldier ought to be more valuable than even life. The records of the women who have taken up arms in the cause of home and country; who have braved the scandals of the camp; who have hazarded reputation,--reputation dearer than life,--and who have stood in the imminent deadly breach, defying the enemy, if not so imposing in numbers as those in which the deeds of male warriors are recited, are glorious nevertheless; and if steadfast courage, true-hearted loyalty, and fiery enthusiasm go for anything, women have nothing to blush for in the martial deeds of those of their sex who have stood upon the battle-field.

         Far back in the early days of the Hebrew commonwealth Deborah rallied the despairing warriors of Israel, and led them to victory. Semiramis, the Queen of the Assyrians, commanded her armies in person. Tomyris, the Scythian queen, after the defeat of the army under the command of her son, Spargopises, took the field in person, and outgeneralling the Persian king, Cyrus, routed his vastly outnumbering forces with great slaughter, the king himself being among the slain. Boadicea, the British queen, resisted the Roman legions to the last, and fought the invaders with fury when not a man could be found to lead the islanders to battle. Bona Lombardi, an Italian peasant girl, fought in male attire by the side of her noble husband, Brunaro, on more than one hotly contested field; and on two occasions, when he had been taken prisoner and placed in close confinement, she effected his release by her skill and valor.

THE NUN-LIEUTENANT.

        Catalina de Eranso, the Monja Alferez, or the nun-lieutenant, who was born in the city of Sebastian, Spain, in 1585, was one of the most remarkable of the heroines who have distinguished themselves by playing the masculine rôle, and venturing into positions of deadly peril. This woman, becoming disgusted with the monotony of convent life, made her escape, and in male garb joined one of the numerous expeditions then fitting out for the New World. Her intelligence and undaunted valor soon attracted the notice of her superior officers, and she was rapidly promoted. Participating in a number of hard-fought battles, she won the reputation of being an unusually skilful and daring soldier, and would have achieved both fame and fortune, were it not that her fiery temper embroiled her

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in frequent quarrels with her associates. One of her many disagreements resulted in a duel, in which she had the misfortune to kill her antagonist, and, to escape the vengeance of his friends, she was compelled to fly. After traversing a large portion of the New World, and encountering innumerable perils, she returned to Europe, where she found that the trumpet of fame was already heralding her name, and that there was the greatest curiosity to see her. Travelling through Spain and Italy, she had numerous exceedingly romantic adventures; and while in the last named country she managed to obtain an interview with Pope Urban VIII., who was so pleased with her appearance and her conversation that he granted her permission to wear male attire during the balance of her life.

         Within the past hundred years more than one heroine has stamped her name indelibly upon the role of fame. All Amercans know how brave Molly Pitcher, at the battle of Monmouth, busied herself in carrying water to the parched and wearied soldiers, and how, when her husband was shot down at his gun, instead of woman fashion, sorrowing for him with unavailing tears, she sprang to take his place, and through the long, hot summer's day fought the foreign emissaries who were seeking to overthrow the liberties of her country, until, with decimated ranks they fled, defeated from the field.

         At the seige of Saragossa, in 1808, when Palafox, and the men under his command, despaired of being able to resist the French, Agostino, "the maid of Saragossa," appeared upon the scene, and with guerra al cuchillo--"war to the knife"--as her battle-cry, she inspired the general and his soldiers to fight to the last in resisting the French invaders, and by her words and deeds became the leading spirit in one of the most heroic defences of history.

APPOLONIA JAGIELLO.

        Nearer our own time Appolonia Jagiello fought valiantly for the liberation of Poland and Hungary. She had kingly blood in her veins, and her heart burned within her at the wrongs which her native country, Poland, suffered at the hands of her oppressors. When the insurrection at Cracow took place, in 1846, she assumed male attire, and went into the thickest of the fight. The insurrection was a failure, although it might not have been had the men who began it been as stout-hearted and as enthusiastic in a great cause as Appolonia

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Jagiello. In 1848 she participated in another outbreak at Cracow, and distinguished herself as one of the most valorous of the combatants. After the failure of this attempt at rebellion she went to Vienna, where she took part in an engagement in the faubourg Widen. Her object in visiting the Austrian capital, however, was chiefly to ascertain the exact character of the struggle which was in progress, in order to carry information to the Hungarians. After numerous perilous adventures she joined the Hungarian forces, and fought at the battle of Enerzey, in which the Austrians were defeated, and on account of the valor she displayed was promoted to the rank of lieutenant. After this she joined an expedition under General Klapka, which assaulted an took the city of Raab. When the Hungarians were finally defeated and there was no longer any hope that either Hungary or Poland would gain their independence, Mademoiselle Jagiello came to the United States, in 1848, with other refugees, and for a number of years resided in the city of Washington, respected and beloved by all who knew her. No braver soldier than this lady ever trod the field of battle, while the universal testimony of all who were honored with her acquaintance is, that she was a most womanly woman, and was lacking in nothing that makes true womanhood esteemed by right-thinking people.

JOAN OF ARC.

        But, whenever I think of the women who have distinguished themselves in battle, my affections turn to the greatest and noblest of them all, and my imagination fires with a desire to emulate the glorious deeds of Joan of Arc, the Maid of Orleans. A religious enthusiast, as well as a born leader of men, and a martial genius of the first order, this great woman infused, by the power of her matchless eloquence, courage and determination into the heart of a weak, cowardly, and vacillating king, and then, seizing the banner of France, she rallied the defeated and demoralized armies, and led them with terrible effect against the British foe. At last, betrayed into the hands of her enemies, she suffered with all the unbending courage of her heroic nature, a martyrdom at the stake, which, while it embalmed her memory in the hearts of the French people, covered with shame the names of the cowardly ruffians who decreed her death on a pretended charge, because they were afraid to let her live for fear that

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her existence, even as a prisoner, would be a perpetual menace to them, and a perpetual encouragement to the French people to fight to the death. The statue of Joan of Arc, chiselled by the fair hands of a French princess, stands to-day in the market-place at Rouen where she suffered, and the memory of her glorious deeds as a great-hearted patriot remains to all time as an example of what a woman may do if she only dares, and dares to do greatly.

        From my early childhood Joan of Arc was my favorite heroine; and many a time has my soul burned with an overwhelming desire to emulate her deeds of valor, and to make for myself a name which, like hers, would be enrolled in letters of gold among the women who had the courage to fight like men--ay, better than most men--for a great cause, for friends, and for father-land.

        At length an opportunity offered, in the breaking out of the conflict between the North and the South in 1861, for me to carry out my long-cherished ideas; and it was embraced with impetuous eagerness, combined with a calm determination to see the thing through, and to shrink from nothing that such a step would involve.

        My opportunities and my circumstances were different from those of my ideal woman, Joan of Arc, and consequently my story has but little resemblance to hers. I did all that it was possible for me to do, however, for the cause I espoused, and the great French heroine did no more. Happily I escaped her dreadful fate, and live to relate the many adventures that befell me while playing the part of a warrior. So many persons have assured me that my story--prosaic as much of it seems to me--is full of romance, and that it cannot fail to interest readers both South and North, that I have been induced to narrate it for the benefit of those who wish to make the acquaintance of a woman warrior, and to be entertained, and perhaps instructed, by a recital of her adventures. If there are any such,--and I am sure there are,--they will find in these pages an unaffected and unpretending, but truthful, and I hope interesting narrative of what befell me while attached to the army of the Confederate States of America, and while performing services other than those of a strictly military character under the pseudonyme of Lieutenant Harry T. Buford.

        Hundreds, nay thousands of officers and men in the Confederate service, knew me well under this name, and although

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my disguise was finally penetrated, and I was forced to resume the garments of my sex, it is probable that a vast number of my late associates will now for the first time learn that the handsome young officer--I was accounted an uncommonly good-looking fellow, when dressed in my best uniform, in those days--was a woman, and a woman who was mentally making some very uncomplimentary notes with regard to much of their very naughty conversation. My experience is, that the language used by the very best men in masculine society is too often not such as pure-minded women would like to listen to, while that of the worst is so utterly revolting, that it is a pity some men cannot always have decent women at their elbows to keep their tongues from being fouled with blasphemy and obscenity. I hope that some of my late associates, when they learn that the Lieutenant Harry T. Buford, whose ears were so often greeted by their profanity and ribaldry, will have enough self-respect to blush with shame at having addressed the language they did to a woman, and a modest woman at that.

        What I have just said will give a hint of some of the most unpleasant incidentals of the rôle which I undertook to play. I was not to be deterred, however, from carrying out my plans by the bad language I was compelled to listen to, nor by any other of the disagreeable features of camp life. How well I did play my part, happily does not depend upon my own testimony alone, for some of the most distinguished officers of the Confederate army, and many equally distinguished civilians, can and will testify to the truthfulness of the story I am about to relate, and to the unblemished character I bore while in the Confederate service. I not only assumed the garment of my sex once more with the credit of having done the state some important services, and of having labored with efficiency, courage, and energy to secure the independence of the Confederacy, but, with my womanly reputation unblemished by even a suspicion of impropriety; and I take this occasion to say, in a very positive manner, that women, if they will, may pass through the most trying scenes with unblemished reputations, and that they have much more to dread in this particular matter from the scandalous gossip of city, village, and country neighborhoods, than they have from camp associations, with all their license of language and conduct.

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THE VELAZQUEZ FAMILY.

        I have every reason to be proud of the name I bear, and of the ancestry from whom I inherited it. My father's family is a very ancient one, and the blood which flows in my veins is that of Castilian nobles, whose deeds are intimately connected with some of the most impressive episodes of Spanish history. Reckless as some portions of my own career may seem to unthinking persons, I have the satisfaction of knowing, in my own soul, that by no act of mine has the noble name of Velazquez been brought into discredit, and that at all times, and under the most discouraging circumstances, I have ever upheld my own honor and that of my family.

        Both in Spain and in the Spanish dominions on this side of the Atlantic, is the name of Velazquez well known and highly honored. Don Diego Velazquez, the conqueror and the first governor of Cuba, under whose superintendence the expedition which discovered Mexico was sent out, was one of my ancestors, and Don Diego Rodriguez Velazquez, the greatest artist that Spain ever produced, was a member of my family. It will thus be seen that I came of excellent, although somewhat fiery and headstrong stock, and, if in assuming the garments of a man, and endeavoring to do a man's work on the battle-field, I transgressed against the conventionalities of modern society, the reader will, I am sure, charitably attribute some of the blame to the adventuresome blood of old Governor Don Diego, which I inherited, and, which fired my brain and steeled my nerves when there was a prospect held out that, despite the fact of my being a woman, I might be able to enjoy the excitements of the battlefield, and win for myself a warrior's fame.

        My father was a native of the city of Carthagena, and he received a very thorough education at the universities of Madrid and Paris. He was an accomplished Latin, French and German scholar, and spoke all these languages fluently. English he paid but little attention to until alter his marriage with my mother. Like all the members of his family, he was a very strict Catholic. Two of his brothers being in the Spanish army, and his tastes inclining him to the life of a civilian, a diplomatic appointment was procured for him, and he went to Paris as an attaché of the Spanish embassy.

        It was while residing in Paris that my father became

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acquainted with the lady whom he married, and made the mother of his children. My mother was the daughter of a French naval officer, by an American lady, the daughter of a wealthy merchant. She, of course, spoke English fluently, and tried to instruct my father in it. He managed, in time, to understand it very well, but he never spoke it without some accent. My father's marriage occurred a short time before the expiration of his term of office, and after his recall to Spain he took up his residence in the city of Madrid, where three sons and two daughters were born.

MY BIRTH.

        In 1840 my father was appointed to an official position in Cuba, and two years later I, his sixth and last child, came into the world in a house on the Calle Velaggas, near the walls in the city of Havana, on the 26th of June, 1842. I was christened Loreta Janeta.

        When I was almost one year old, my father fell heir to a large estate in Texas, which was then a part of the republic of Mexico. He accordingly resigned his position as an employee of the Spanish government in Cuba, and in 1844 removed with his family to San Luis Potosi, in Central Mexico. His property consisted of a very large tract of land and immense herds of cattle, and as he was a careful and accurate business man, the probabilities are, that in a short time he would have become one of the wealthiest landed proprietors of that region. Unfortunately we had scarcely been settled in our new home a twelvemonth, when the war between Mexico and the United States broke out. I was too young at the time, of course, to recollect anything of this memorable contest, although it had a potent influence on my own destiny.

THE MEXICAN WAR.

        My father, so soon as war was declared, decided to take part in the conflict, and offered his services to the Mexican government to assist in expelling the invaders. His offer was accepted, and he received a commission as an officer in the army. Sending his family to the Island of St. Lucia, one of the British West Indian provinces, where my mother's only brother resided, he took the field, and fought until the

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end of the war against the forces of the United States. During the conflict his estates were devastated and his property destroyed, and this, combined with the non-success of the Mexican arms, greatly imbittered him against the Americans, and this bitterness he retained till the day of his death.

        When the war was ended, and a large portion of the northern part of Mexico ceded to the United States, my father, whose estates were included in this territory, refused to live under a government which he disliked so intensely, and he consequently abandoned his property and went to Santiago de Cuba, where he was rejoined by his family. In the mean time he had fallen heir to another valuable estate at Puerto de Palmas, and settling upon it, he engaged actively in the sugar, tobacco, and coffee trade. The profits on these articles being very large, he speedily acquired great wealth, and was able to surround his family with every luxury.

        While we were residing on the Puerto de Palmas plantation an English governess was employed to conduct my education. I remained under this good lady's instruction until 1849, learning the elementary branches, and acquiring a fair knowledge of the English language. In that year my father, at my mother's urgent solicitation, determined to send me to New Orleans for the purpose of completing my education. I accordingly took up my abode with Madame R., my mother's only surviving sister, who resided in Rue Esplanade, New Orleans. My aunt was rather strict with me, but she took much pains with my education, and for two years I studied under her supervision, mainly devoting myself to acquiring an accurate knowledge of English, so as to be able to read, write, and speak it with fluency. Having become reasonably proficient in such studies as were assigned me by my aunt, I was sent to the school conducted by the Sisters of Charity, to learn the ornamental branches. Here I remained until the romantic clandestine marriage, which did so much towards shaping my future career, took place.

DREAMS OF GLORY.

        From my earliest recollections my mind has been filled with aspirations, of the most ardent possible kind, to fill some great sphere. I expended all my pocket money, not in candies and

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cakes, as most girls are in the habit of doing, but in the purchase of books which related the events of the lives of kings, princes, and soldiers. The story of the siege of Orleans, in particular, I remember, thrilled my young heart, fired my imagination, and sent my blood bounding through my veins with excitement. Joan of Arc became my heroine, and I longed for an opportunity to become such another as she. I built air-castles without number, and in my day-dreams I was fond of imagining myself as the hero of most stupendous adventures. I wished that I was a man, such a man as Columbus or Captain Cook, and could discover new worlds, or explore unknown regions of the earth. I could not even write a social letter to my father to inform him of the state of my health, or my educational progress, without putting in it some romantic project which I had on hand. This propensity of mine evidently annoyed him greatly, for he frequently reprimanded me with much severity, although he took no measures to remove me from influences which were certainly not unattended with danger to a girl of my impulsive and imaginative disposition; so that it is no wonder I was soon engaged in a romantic escapade which gave my family great offense and anxiety.

        I was especially haunted with the idea of being a man; and the more I thought upon the subject, the more I was disposed to murmur at Providence for having created me a woman. While residing with my aunt, it was frequently my habit, after all in the house had retired to bed at night, to dress myself in my cousin's clothes, and to promenade by the hour before the mirror, practicing the gait of a man, and admiring the figure I made in masculine raiment. I wished that I could only change places with my brother Josea. If I could have done so I would never have been a doctor, but would have marked out for myself a military career, and have disported myself in the gay uniform of an officer.

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CHAPTER II.

MARRIAGE.

        My Betrothal.--Love Matches and Marriages of Convenience.--Some new Ideas picked up from my Schoolmates.--A new Lover appears upon the Field.--I Figure as a Rival to a Friend.--Love's Young Dream.--A new Way of popping the Question.--A Clandestine Marriage.--Displeasure of my Family.--Life as the Wife of an Army Officer.--The Mormon Expedition.--Birth of my first Child, and Reconciliation with my Family.--Commencement of the War between the North and South.--Death of my Children.--Resignation of my Husband from the Army.--My Determination to take Part in the coming Conflict as a Soldier.--Opposition of my Husband to my Schemes.

        Some time previous to my admission to the Sisters' school, I was betrothed to a young Spaniard, Raphael R., in accordance with plans which my relatives had formed with regard to me, and without any action on my part. Indeed, my consent was not asked, my parents, thinking that they were much better qualified to arrange a suitable alliance than I was, and that, provided other things were satisfactory, love was something of minor importance, that could very well be left to take care of itself They were mistaken, however, as other parents have been in similar cases, for, like a good many girls, as soon as I was old enough to do much thinking for myself, I had no difficulty in coming to the conclusion that the choice of a husband was something I ought to have a voice in.

        I had been educated under very old-fashioned ideas with regard to the duties which children owe to their parents, for, among my father's country people, children, even when they have arrived at years of discretion, are supposed to be under the authority of their father and mother, and marriages for love, having their origin in a spontaneous affection of young people for each other, are very rare. It is the custom in Spain,

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and among the Spanish people in America, for the parents to make what they consider suitable matches for their children, and the young people are expected to accept any arrangement that may be concluded in their behalf, without murmuring.

        This does not seem to be the proper way of conducting such an important piece of business as marriage, and it is very contrary to the notions which are common in the United States. A good deal, however, could be said in favor of it, and it is certain that quite as large a number of marriages of convenience, such as are usual in Europe, turn out happily as of the love matches which are usual in the United States. The fact is, that the majority of young people really do not know their own minds, and they often fancy themselves in love when they are not. Marriage undeceives them, and then they wish that they had exercised a little more discretion, and had not been in quite such a hurry. On the other hand, in a marriage of convenience, if the parties are at all suited to each other, and are at all disposed to make the best of the situation, they soon become affectionate, and love after marriage is, perhaps, in reality, the most likely to be enduring. As a general principle, however, there can be no doubt that a couple ought to be fond of each other before marriage, and if a young man and young woman of proper age, and with the means to start housekeeping, fall in love, and want to get married, parents do wrong to oppose them unless there are some very serious reasons for so doing.

        A marriage by parental arrangement was the last thing in the world to suit a scatter-brained, romantic girl like myself, whose head was filled with all sorts of wild notions, and it is not to be wondered at, therefore, that I rebelled. When I was betrothed to Raphael, however, I had not the slightest notion of objecting; and although I did not feel a particle of affection for him, I accepted him for my future husband, as a matter of course, and received his visits with a proper degree of complacency, if not with any great demonstrations of regard.

        I had not been long in the school, however, when, from my association with American girls, I obtained considerable enlightenment on a good many subjects about which I had previously been profoundly ignorant; and concerning this matter of marriage, in particular, I learned that it was not considered the correct thing at all for the parents of a young

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lady to pick out a husband for her. The girls, when they found that I was betrothed without my own consent, were at a great deal of pains to inform me that this was a free country, and that one of the chief blessings of living in a free country was, that a girl could not be compelled to marry any particular man if she did not choose to do so.

        This kind of talk excited me very much and I began to wish to break my engagement with Raphael, even before a rival stepped in to secure the affections which belonged to him, according to the arrangement my parents had made. I did not see my way very clear, however, and probably would have married him eventually, had not a more acceptable lover put in an appearance. Some of the girls professed to know a good deal about the law, and insisted that if my parents wished to force me to marry against my own consent, I could defy their authority, and appeal to the courts to allow me to choose a guardian. Such a course as this, however, I knew would sever me from my family; and as I had the fondest regard for my dear father and mother, I dreaded to find myself cut off, disinherited, and thrown upon the charity of strangers. I consequently took no steps to get rid of Raphael until I chanced to make the acquaintance of a young American army officer who was paying particular attention to one of my schoolmates, Nellie V.

A REAL LOVER.

        Nellie was a beautiful girl, of about sixteen years of age, and a very warm regard subsisted between us up to the time of her discovery that I was endeavoring to capture her lover. Her affection for me did not last long after that, and she said a great many disagreeable things about me, for which I have long since forgiven her, as I doubt not she has me for running away with her handsome young officer.

        He was indeed a handsome young officer, and his manly and graceful appearance, especially when attired in his brilliant uniform, made such an impression on my heart, that I soon could think of nothing else. I found now that love was a reality, and my thoughts by day and my dreams by night had no other object than the gentleman who, while paying his assiduous attentions to Nellie, never imagined what ravages he was making in the heart of her schoolmate. I learned to hate Raphael, and his attempts to make himself agreeable

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to me only served to increase my dislike. Of Nellie I soon became savagely jealous, and was ready to cry with rage and vexation whenever I saw her lover paying her any delicate attentions. We, however, to all appearances, continued fast friends, it was not for several months that she discovered I was her rival. The object of my devotion was also profoundly ignorant of my feelings towards him, and I had not the courage to tell him. At length I became desperate, and determined at the earliest opportunity to acquaint the young officer with the affection I entertained for him.

DECLARATION OF LOVE.

        The wished-for opportunity finally offered. One evening Nellie and I agreed to exchange partners, for the purpose of finding out how much they loved us. Raphael did not fancy this manoeuvre a bit, but submitted to it with as good a grace as possible. The officer and myself managed to get out of ear-shot of the other couple, but, now that the opportunity I had sighed for was mine, I was afraid to open my mouth on the subject nearest my heart. I trembled all over, but was determined before we separated to let him know the state of my heart. Finding that I had not courage to speak, I wrote a few words in his pocket diary, which told him everything.

        He was intensely surprised; but he declared, with much warmth, that he had long wished to speak with me on this very matter, and would have done so, were it not that he thought I was betrothed, and that under any circumstances there would be no chance for an American to win my affections. My new lover behaved in the most honorable manner, for, as soon as he obtained my consent for him to pay his addresses, he went to my aunt, and asked permission to visit at her house. She granted his request, with the condition that he was to understand that I was betrothed, and would demean himself towards me accordingly. This condition he listened to, but with a determination to pay little heed to it, his main object being accomplished in securing the right to see me without fear of being interfered with.

        When my lover began to appear at my aunt's as a pretty constant visitor, Raphael was quick to suspect him as a rival, who was more highly appreciated than himself, and became furiously jealous. I cannot tell what torture I suffered in endeavoring to be amiable to a man whom I hated, in order

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that I might prevent an explosion which would deprive me of the society of the one I really loved with the most devoted fondness. Finally Raphael, unable to endure the sight of his rival constantly in attendance upon me, and evidently finding extreme favor in my eyes, prevailed upon my aunt to forbid him admittance to the house, on the plea that he was becoming altogether too intimate with the betrothed of another. This gratified Raphael's malignity, and it was a severe blow to both of us. Although we could not meet on the same pleasantly familiar terms as before, we were resolved not to be separated, for we were now too much in love to be willing to give each other up. In spite of my aunt's endeavors to keep us apart, and in spite of Raphael's jealous vigilance, William--for that was my lover's name--found means to carry on a correspondence with me, to meet me at the houses of mutual friends, and to speak to me on the street on my way to and from school. Raphael, who took pains to have us closely watched, informed my aunt of what was going on, and I was accordingly threatened with being locked up in a convent, or with being sent back to Cuba, if I did not conduct myself with more propriety. I was horror-stricken at the idea of either fate, but as I knew my aunt to be a very determined woman, who would certainly carry out her threat if I did not take measures to place it out of her power to do so, I was not long in making up my mind what course to follow, and having fixed upon a plan of action, I only awaited a suitable opportunity to put it into execution.

        The opportunity I sighed for was not long in offering itself; for one evening, as I was sitting at my window, in company with a young French creole girl, I saw William pass and look up. I waved my handkerchief in salutation, and he recognized the signal by raising his cap. I then asked the young lady if she would not do me the favor of taking a letter to him, and of permitting us to have an interview at her home. She readily consented; and carrying a hastily written note to William, soon returned with an answer, to the effect that he would meet me in an hour's time. My aunt did not permit me to go out alone in the evening; but as she suspected nothing wrong in the proposed visit to my friend's house, she consented, without hesitation, for me to go under the escort of one of the servants. As my escort, of course, on our arrival at the rendezvous, remained with the servants of the

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house, I was able to converse with William without fear of espial, or of being interrupted.

A RUNAWAY MATCH.

        My lover informed me that he expected soon to be ordered to one of the frontier posts. He declared that he could not exist without me, and proposed that we should elope, and get married privately. As this was my own plan exactly, I gave my consent, without any hesitation, the moment the proposition was made. On a little reflection, however, my conscience began to trouble me, for I knew that I should not be doing right; so I told him I would prefer that he should make an open and straightforward proposition for my hand to my parents. I considered that it was a duty I owed them to ask their consent first, but promised, if they opposed the marriage, that I would not let their disapprobation interfere with the consummation of our wishes. William himself thought that this was the proper and honorable course to pursue, and he accordingly wrote to my father, and asked his permission to marry me. A reply to his request was not long forthcoming, in which he was reprimanded in very harsh terms for daring to make it, knowing me to be the betrothed of another. This settled the matter; and accordingly, on the 5th of April, 1856, we were clandestinely married.

        I told no one of the step I had taken, and remained at my aunt's, on the same apparent footing as before, until the following October, meeting William privately, when I could do so without being observed, but taking more pains to prevent our interviews from being noted than I had done previous to our marriage. At length I had a furious quarrel with my aunt on account of Raphael. She reproached me in severe terms for my conduct towards him; and I replied by discarding him, and refusing to have anything more to do with him. My aunt was extremely indignant; and finding me obdurate, threatened to put me in the convent at Baton Rouge. I was terribly frightened at this, and concluded that it was time for me to act with decision. I accordingly informed my husband of the situation, and he came immediately and claimed me as his wife, presenting the certificate of marriage to my horror-stricken relative.

        This was a terrible blow to my aunt, but a greater one to my parents, especially to my father, who idolized me. My

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father's indignation got the better of his affection, and he promptly informed me that I might consider myself as repudiated and disinherited. The pangs this cruel message caused me were intense, but I was consoled with the lavish affection bestowed upon me by my handsome young husband, and with the thought that, in course of time, my parents would relent, and be willing to again receive me as their daughter.

        With the exception of my estrangement from my family, there was but one thing that interfered with my happiness. My husband was a Protestant, and desired me to believe as he did. It required a hard struggle for me to forsake the faith in which I had been educated; but eventually I learned to think as my husband did about religious matters, and became a member of the Methodist church.

        My separation from my family caused me much grief, but I tried hard not to let my husband see how much I suffered. I entered as far as possible into his thoughts and wishes, and only gratified a natural taste by giving a large portion of my time to the study of military tactics. I longed for a war to break out, and resolved that if one did occur, I would follow my husband to the battle-field, and minister to him, even if I was not allowed to fight by his side.

THE MORMON EXPEDITION.

        In 1857 there appeared to be a chance that my martial aspiration would be gratified. The government organized an expedition against the Mormons, and my husband was ordered to accompany it. In the mean time, however, I had become a mother; and much as I desired to accompany the army to Utah, I was forced to acknowledge the impracticability of a journey across the plains with an infant in my arms, and was compelled to submit to remaining behind.

        When my baby came into the world I yearned more than ever to be reconciled with my family, and, with my husband's consent, wrote to my mother and to my favorite brother, who, but a few months before, had graduated with distinction from the College de France. This brother had long since forgiven me, and, in confederation with my mother, had labored to soften the heart of my father towards me. On the receipt of the letter announcing the birth of my child, and my earnest desire to be forgiven for my fault, they worked so successfully on the feelings of my father, that, after a somewhat stubborn

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resistance, he yielded, and consented to have my mother and brother visit me in St. Louis. My brother, after becoming acquainted with my husband, esteemed him highly, and finally the bad feeling which had been caused by my clandestine marriage wore away, my father alone treating me with a coolness which he had never previously shown. When I met him for the first time after my marriage, he turned his cheek to me, saying, "You can never impress a kiss on my lips after a union with my country's enemy,"--from which I concluded that it was not so much my marriage without his consent, as my alliance with an American soldier that imbittered him.

        After the Mormon expedition had returned, my husband met me at New Orleans, and from thence took me to Fort Leavenworth, then a remote frontier town. The living accommodations at this place were miserable, and the cooking, especially, was atrociously bad. I bore every discomfort, however, without a murmur, out of deference to my husband's feelings, and in every way endeavored to make myself as little of a burden to him as possible. In course of time I became a good American in thought and manner, and despite the inconveniences of life at a frontier post, was as happy as I could wish to be.

        In the spring of 1860 I returned to St. Louis, while my husband went to Fort Arbuckle. During his separation from me, our third babe was born and died. In October of the same year he returned, having received a summons from his father--a resident of Texas--to the effect that there was reason to believe a war was about to break out between the North and the South, and desiring him to resign.

        About this time my two remaining children died of fever, and my grief at their loss probably had a great influence in reviving my old notions about military glory, and of exciting anew my desires to win fame on the battle-field. I was dreadfully afraid that there would be no war, and my spirits rose and sank as the prospects of a conflict brightened or faded. When my husband's State determined to secede, I brought all my influence to bear to induce him to resign his commission in the United States army, and my persuasions, added to those of his father, finally induced him, very reluctantly, to yield. It was a great grief for him to forsake the uniform he had worn so long with honor, and to sever the bonds which existed between him and his comrades. He much doubted, too, the wisdom of the Southern States in

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taking the action they did, and wished most sincerely that the political difficulties which caused their secession could be settled in some other manner than by an armed conflict.

        As for me, I was perfectly wild on the subject of war; and although I did not tell my husband so, I was resolved to forsake him if he raised his sword against the South. I felt that now the great opportunity of my life had arrived, and my mind was busy night and day in planning schemes for making my name famous above that of any of the great heroines of history, not even excepting my favorite, Joan of Arc. Having decided to enter the Confederate service as a soldier, I desired, if possible, to obtain my husband's consent, but he would not listen to anything I had to say on the subject; and all I could do was to wait his departure for the seat of war, in order to put my plans into execution without his knowledge, as I felt that it would be useless to argue with him, although I was obstinately bent upon realizing the dream of my life, whether he approved of my course or not.

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CHAPTER III

ASSUMING MALE ATTIRE.

        A Wedding Anniversary.--Preparing for my Husband's Departure for the Seat of War.--My Desire to accompany him.--His Arguments to dissuade me.--My First Appearance in Public in Male Attire.--A Bar-room Scene.--Drinking Success to the Confederacy.--My First Cigar.--A Tour of the Gambling-Houses and Drinking-Saloons.--The unpleasant Points of Camp Life set forth in strong Colors.--Departure of my Husband.--Donning Male Attire.--My First Suit of Male Clothing.--Description of my Disguise.--The Practicability of a Woman disguising herself effectively.--Some of the Features of Army Life.--What Men think of Women Soldiers.

        THE fifth anniversary of our wedding was celebrated in a very quiet fashion at the old Commercial Hotel, Memphis, Tennessee. We passed the day pretty much in our own room, packing trunks and preparing for my husband's departure for Richmond, where he expected to meet some of his old army friends, such as General Robert E. Lee, General Reynolds, Captain Bernard Bee, and Captain Cabell, who had linked their fortunes with those of the South. His hardest struggle had been to throw off the uniform he had so long worn; but, that deed having once been consummated, it was not difficult for me to persuade him to offer his sword to the South, especially when so many of his old friends of the United States army were arraying themselves in antagonism to the flag under which they had once fought.

        While preparing for his departure, on the anniversary of our wedding, we talked over the whole situation; and I cannot tell how proud and delighted I felt when he attired himself in his elegant new gray uniform. He never looked handsomer

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in his life, and I not only gave full vent to my admiration, but insisted upon broaching my favorite scheme again. My husband desired me to go to Galveston, and to write to my father to meet me there; but my heart was set upon accompanying him to the seat of war, and I would listen to no other arrangement. He used every possible argument to dissuade me from my purpose, representing the difficulties and dangers in the darkest colors, and contending that it would be impossible for him to permit his wife to follow an undisciplined army of volunteers. The situation, he told me, was entirely different from anything I had ever been accustomed to, and that the hordes of rude, coarse men collected together in a camp in an emergency like this, would have but little resemblance to the regular troops in garrison with whom I had been familiar; and that a delicately nurtured and refined woman would find camp life, during such a war as that just commencing, simply intolerable. He was not to be persuaded, while I turned a deaf ear to all his remonstrances, and persisted in arguing the point with him to the last.

FIRST ASSUMPTION OF MALE ATTIRE.

        Finally, my husband, finding that his words made no impression, thought he would be able to cure me of my erratic fancies by giving me an insight into some of the least pleasing features of masculine life. The night before his departure, therefore, he permitted me to dress myself in one of his suits, and said he would take me to the bar-rooms and other places of male resort, and show me something of what I would be compelled to go through with if I persisted in unsexing myself. Braiding my hair very close, I put on a man's wig, and a false mustache, and by tucking my pantaloons in my boots, as I had seen men do frequently, and otherwise arranging the garments, which were somewhat large for me, I managed to transform myself into a very presentable man. As I surveyed myself in the mirror I was immensely pleased with the figure I cut, and fancied that I made quite as good looking a man as my husband. My toilet once completed, it was not long before we were in the street, I doing my best to walk with a masculine gait, and to behave as if I had been accustomed to wear pantaloons all my life. I confess, that when it actually came to the point of appearing in public in this sort of attire, my heart began to fail me a little; but I was bent on going

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through with the thing, and so, plucking up courage, I strode along by the side of my husband with as unconcerned an air as it was possible for me to put on.

        Presently we crossed over to a bar-room, which we found nearly filled with men smoking and drinking, and doing some pretty tall talking about the war, and the style in which the Yankees were going to be wiped out. To judge by the conversation, every man present was full of fight, and was burning with a furious desire to meet the enemy. I was too frightened and bewildered by the novelty of my situation to pay very close attention to all I saw and heard, but it flashed upon me that some of these loud-talking, hard-drinking, and blaspheming patriots were not so valiant, after all, as they professed to be. My after experiences fully confirmed my first impressions, that the biggest talkers are not always the best fighters, and that a good many men will say things over a glass of whiskey in a bar-room, who won't do a tenth part of what they say if they are once placed within smelling distance of gunpowder.

        I had scarcely time to take a good look at the room and its occupants, when my husband caught sight of a couple of men who had belonged to his regiment, and who were very particular friends of mine. I was dreadfully afraid they would recognize me, but there was no escaping from them, as they came up so soon as they saw us, and I was introduced as a young fellow who was on a visit to Memphis to see the sights and to pick up war news.

TREATING.

        My husband treated, he and his two comrades taking something strong, while I, in accordance with the instructions given me before starting out, called for a glass of cider, only a part of which I imbibed. After a little conversation, my husband whispered to me to call for the next treat. I was getting to be somewhat disgusted with the whole business, but was bound not to break down; so, stepping up to the bar, I invited the party, with as masculine a manner as I could put on, to drink with me. This time I took a glass of sarsaparilla, and when all had their drinks poured out, raising my tumbler, I cried out, "Gentlemen, here's to the success of our young Confederacy."

        As I said this, my heart was almost ready to jump out of

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my throat. The men, however, gave a rousing cheer, and one of them yelled out, "We drink that toast every time, young fellow."

        He then put his hand into his pocket, as if about to get his money to pay for the drinks, but I prevented him, saying, "Excuse me, sir, this is my treat," and laid a twenty dollar gold piece on the counter. Each of us then took a cigar, I watching to see how they managed theirs before daring to put mine in my mouth. After I had gotten a light, I was not able to take more than three or four whiffs, for my head began to swim, and I knew if I kept on I should soon be deathly sick. As it was, I did not feel at all comfortable, but thought I could bear up, and said nothing for fear of being laughed at.

        I was very glad to get out of the bar-room, and into the fresh air again; so, bidding our friends good night, we started off, I throwing my cigar away at the first opportunity I had of doing so without being observed. Eager to hear my husband's opinion, I asked him if he did not think I played my part pretty well. He replied, "O, yes;" but I could see that he was very much dissatisfied with the whole performance. Before returning to the hotel we made a general tour of the city, visiting all the principal gambling-houses and saloons, my husband evidently hoping I should be so shocked with what I saw and heard that I should be ready to give up my wild scheme without further talk about it.

        When we were once more in our room he locked the door, and, throwing himself on the lounge, said, "Well, don't you feel pretty much disgusted?"

        To please him I said, "Yes;" adding, however, "but then I can stand anything to be with you, and to serve the sunny South."

        "Now, Loreta," said he, "I have done this to-night for the purpose of showing you what men are like, and how they behave themselves when they are out of the sight and hearing of decent women, whom they are forced to respect. What you have seen and heard, however, is nothing to what you will be compelled to see and hear in camp, where men are entirely deprived of female society, and are under the most demoralizing influences. The language that will constantly greet your ears, and the sights that will meet your eye in camp, where thousands of men are congregated, are simply indescribable; and it is out of all reason that you should even

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think of associating in the manner you propose with soldiers engaged in warfare."

        This, with a good deal of the same kind of talk, convinced me that he would never give his consent to my project; so I pretended to be satisfied with his arguments, but was, nevertheless, resolved more firmly than ever, so soon as he took his departure, to put my plans into execution. I waited impatiently for him to leave, intending to give him a genuine surprise when next we met, and to show him that his wife was as good a soldier as he, and was bent upon doing as much or more for the cause which both had at heart. For the present, however, I said nothing concerning my intentions.

MY HUSBAND'S DEPARTURE.

        On the 8th of April my husband started for Richmond, apparently under the impression that, as I had said nothing for several days about accompanying him, I had abandoned all notion of doing so. He ought to have known me better, and to have been assured that a woman of my obstinate temper was not to be prevented by mere argument from carrying out a pet scheme which promised such glorious results as the one we had been discussing.

        My husband's farewell kisses were scarcely dry upon my lips, when I made haste to attire myself in one of his suits, and to otherwise disguise myself as a man, as well as was practicable with such material as I had at hand. The first thing to be done before I made any attempt to play a masculine rôle at all prominently in public was, of course, to get some properly fitting clothing. Exactly how to accomplish this without being discovered, or at least suspected, was the great problem now before me. Everything depended, I well knew, upon starting right; and the slightest suspicion at this time, in the mind of any one who happened to see or speak to me, might, and probably would, interfere materially with the success of my operations in the future. I had, however, some time before taken notice of a small tailor's shop on a retired street not very far from the hotel, the presiding genius of which was a not very brilliant-looking German, and I thought perhaps I might run the gantlet of his scrutiny without much fear of detection, especially as I proposed to leave Memphis at as early a day as possible after obtaining my male raiment.

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        I accordingly went to this German tailor, and ordered two uniform suits, for which I agreed to pay him eighty-five dollars each. As he took my measure he eyed me pretty close, and seemed to imagine that something was not quite right. I was dreadfully afraid he would discover me to be a woman, but resolved, if he did, that I would endeavor to silence him with a handsome bribe for a few days, until he got my suits done and I could leave the city, trusting to be able to disguise myself thereafter so effectually that he would not recognize me again, even if he saw me.

        "Ah," said the tailor, looking at me rather sharply, "what you want to go to war for? You is too young for the fightin'; isn't you? What your mammy say to that, eh?"

        I replied, with as careless an air as I could possibly assume, that I was twenty-two years of age, and was a graduate of West Point, following up this information with other fictitious statements which it somewhat staggered me to utter, and which, if he had been a trifle sharper, he would have had some difficulty in crediting.

        He, however, was satisfied, or appeared to be, and promised to have the clothing ready in two days. I was afraid to tell him to pad the coat all around in such a manner as to conceal my feminine shape; this I was compelled to do myself after I got possession of the clothing. With a little alteration, however, the coats and pantaloons made by the German tailor at Memphis answered my immediate purpose, and enabled me to get under way with my grand scheme, but my disguise was really not perfected until I reached New Orleans, and was able to command facilities greater than Memphis afforded.

MY DISGUISE.

        As this seems to be a very proper point in my narrative for a description of the means adopted for the concealment of my sex, while I was doing duty in the Confederate army as an officer, I will gratify the curiosity of the reader in that matter before proceeding any farther with the story of my adventures.

        My coats were heavily padded in the back and under the arms to the hips, until I reached New Orleans. This served to disguise my shape; but the padding was very uncomfortable, and I soon made up my mind that it would never do for a permanent arrangement. So soon as I got to New Orleans, I

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went to an old French army tailor in Barrack Street, who I knew was very skillful, and who understood how to mind his own business by not bothering himself too much about other people's affairs, and had him make for me half a dozen fine wire net shields. These I wore next to my skin, and they proved very satisfactory in concealing my true form, and in giving me something of the shape of a man, while they were by no means uncomfortable. Over the shields I wore all undershirt of silk or lisle thread, which fitted close, and which was held in place by straps across the chest and shoulders, similar to the shoulder-braces sometimes worn by men. A great many officers in the Confederate army have seen the impressions of these straps through my shirt when I have had my coat off, and have supposed them to be shoulder-braces. These undershirts could be rolled up into the small compass of a collar-box. Around the waist of each of the undershirts was a band, with eyelet-holes arranged for the purpose of making the waistbands of my pantaloons stand out to the proper number of inches. A woman's waist, as a general thing, is tapering, and her hips very large in comparison with those of a man, so that if I had undertaken to wear pantaloons without some such contrivance, they would have drawn in at the waist and revealed my true form. With such underwear as I used, any woman who can disguise her features can readily pass for a man, and deceive the closest observers. So many men have weak and feminine voices that, provided the clothing is properly constructed and put on right, and the disguise in other respects is well arranged, a woman with even a very high-pitched voice need have very little to fear on that score. One of the princpal causes of my detection, after having successfully passed myself off as a man to thousands of keen-eyed observers, under circumstances where everything was against the concealment of my sex, was, that my apparatus got out of order, so that I was forced to dispense with it. I was to blame, too, for permitting myself to grow careless, and not always being on my guard.

        There were several points about my disguise which were strictly my own invention, and which, for certain good and sufficient reasons, I do not care to give to the public. These added greatly to its efficiency. Indeed, after I had once become accustomed to male attire, and to appearing before anybody and everybody in it, I lost all fear of being found out, and learned to act, talk, and almost to think as a man. Many

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a time, when in camp, I have gone to sleep when from fifty to sixty officers have been lying close together wrapped in their blankets, and have had no more fear of detection than I had of drinking a glass of water.

CAMP LIFE.

        The style of conversation that was common in camp, and the kind of stories told around our fires at night, I will leave to the reader's imagination, hoping, however, that he or she has not imagination enough to compass anything so utterly vile. My favorite amusement was a game of cards, and I preferred this way of entertaining myself, and of beguiling the weary hours, to listening to anecdotes which could only debase my mind. Anything relating to military affairs, to social science, to the deeds of great men or women, or whatever else I could improve myself by listening to, I took great delight in. From my earliest recollection, however, I have had a thorough distaste for vulgarity of language and profanity, and my camp experiences only tended to increase my disgust at the blackguardism which many men are so fond of indulging in. The manner in which too many men are in the habit of referring to the other sex in conversation among themselves is, in my opinion, thoroughly despicable; and I really think that it would be morally and intellectually beneficial to many of my sex, especially those who are the victims of masculine viciousness, if they could only listen to some such conversations as I have been compelled to listen to, and learn how little respect or real regard of any kind men have for them.

        I would that God would put it into my power to utter such a warning as would be heeded, to the weak and erring of my sex, and which would enable them to fortify themselves against the temptations constantly assailing them. But I suppose no warning would prevent those who are disposed to sin from doing so, although I well know that women, and men too, can resist temptation, and can avoid vileness in living and in language if they will only choose to do so. I do not pretend to say that I am possessed of firmer nerves, or am less under the influence of the natural emotions of my sex, than many others; but my strong constitution, and the perfect health I enjoyed, enabled me to endure more fatigue and hardship than most women, while my firm-mindedness, and resolute determination to carry my point, enabled me to avoid anything like laxity

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of conduct. I was compelled to sink my sex entirely, for the least inadvertence would have thwarted my plans, and prevented the realization of all I aimed at.

        Many and many a time has the subject of women serving in the army as soldiers been discussed at the mess-tables and around the camp-fires; and officers, who have been in my company for days, and weeks, and months, have boasted, with very masculine positiveness, that no woman could deceive them, little suspecting that one was even then listening to them. I have sometimes been asked my opinion on the subject; but have generally answered evasively, without expressing, in very decided terms, my ideas one way or the other. Some of the men with whom I have been associated have spoken in respectful and even commendatory terms concerning women serving as soldiers; but too many have had nothing but vileness to utter on the subject. I can never forget, although I may forgive, the disgraceful language which some of these individuals have used with regard to this matter; and my experiences in the army will not have been in vain, even if they have taught me nothing more than the utter contemptibleness of some individuals, whom it would be a stretch of courtesy to call gentlemen.

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CHAPTER IV.

DISGUISED AS A CONFEDERATE OFFICER.

        Preparing a military Outfit.--Consultations with a Friend.--Argument against any proposed Plan of Action.--Assuming the Uniform of a Confederate Officer.--A Scene in a Barber's Shop.--How young Men try to make their Beards grow.--Taking a social Drink.--A Game of Billiards.--In a Faro Bank.--Some War Talk.--Drinks all around.--The End of an exciting Day.--Making up a Complexion.--A false Mustache.--Final Preparations.--Letters from Husband and Father.--Ready to start for the Seat of War.

        WITHIN three days I managed to provide myself with a very complete military outfit; quite sufficient to enable me to commence operations without delay, which was the main thing I was after, for I was exceedingly anxious to carry out a magnificent idea I had in my mind, and to present myself before my husband, under such auspices that he could no longer find an excuse for refusing his consent to my joining the Southern army as a soldier. My uniform suit having been arranged for, it was an easy matter for me to procure the rest of my outfit without unduly attracting attention, and I soon had in my room a trunk well packed with the wearing apparel of an army officer, and neatly marked upon the outside with the name I had concluded to adopt.

LIEUTENANT H. T. BUFORD, C. S. A.

        When I saw the trunk with this name upon it as large as life, my heart fairly jumped for joy, and I felt as if the dream of my life were already more than half realized. There was a good deal, however, to be done before I could move any

Illustration

Harry T. Buford
1st Lt Indpt Scouts C.S.A.
[Signed]

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farther in this momentous affair, and while waiting for the tailor to send my uniform suit, I thought and planned until my head fairly ached. At length I hit upon a method of arranging my financial matters which I judged would prove satisfactory, and concluded to call in a gentleman who was a very old and intimate friend of both my husband and myself, and demand his assistance.

A FRIEND IN NEED.

        This friend, in whom I knew full reliance could be placed, came to my room immediately upon my summons, and having first sworn him to secrecy, I made a full revelation with regard to what I proposed to do. He turned deadly pale when I informed him of my intention to disguise myself as a man, and to enter the army on exactly the same footing as other combatants; but, having recovered from his first astonishment and dismay, he tried to treat the whole matter as a jest, and evidently believed that I was either a little demented, or was indulging in an absurd bit of pleasantry. He was convinced, however, that I really meant business, when he saw the trunk with my military pseudonyme upon it, the male garments which the tailor had just sent home, and the accoutrements I had purchased within the past two or three days.

        As I had anticipated, he thought it his duty to endeavor to persuade me to abandon my wild ideas, as he called them. He went over all the arguments my husband had used, adding a great many of his own, and painted military associations in the blackest and most repulsive colors. He might as well have talked to the wind, for my heart was fixed on achieving fame, and of accomplishing even more than the great heroines of history had been able to do. I turned a deaf ear to all his remonstrances, and the only answer I gave to his pleadings that I would abandon the thought of unsexing myself, was to insist upon his aid. This he finally promised to give, although most reluctantly, when he found that nothing he could say would move me from my purpose.

        My friend suggested that the first thing to be done was, for me to leave the hotel; so, sending for a man, he had my trunk and military equipments carried to the house in which he occupied apartments. My other baggage was prepared for removal, and was taken away to be stored in a place of safety until I should need it again, which I hoped would not

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be very soon. After paying my bill, and giving the proprietor to understand that I was about to leave the city, my friend managed to get me into my new quarters without my being observed by anyone. Telling me that he would take care to prevent any interruption while I was making my toilet, he retired and left me to myself.

        I immediately proceeded to change my garments, and ere a great many minutes had elapsed, I was transformed into a man, so far as it was possible for clothing to transform me. When I was ready I called my friend, and asked his opinion of the figure I cut. He admitted that I was not a bad looking specimen of a man, considering I had only been about five minutes, and thought that in time I should be able to do credit to the name I bore and the clothes I wore.

        The only regret I had in making up my disguise, was the necessity for parting with my long and luxuriant hair. This gave me a real pang; but there was no help for it, and I submitted with as good a grace as I could muster, while my friend played the part of tonsorial artist with a pair of shears. He trimmed my hair tolerably close, and said that it would answer until I could visit a barber's shop with him, and be initiated into some of the mysteries of such a peculiarly masculine place of resort. Before going to the barber's, however, he made me promenade the room, practising a masculine gait, until I had acquired it tolerably well, and gave me a great number of very minute instructions about the proper manner of conducting myself so that my sex would not be suspected. He particularly enjoined me to watch his actions closely at the barber's, in the drinking saloons, the billiard rooms, and the other places he intended conducting me to, for the purpose of informing me with regard to some masculine habits and ways of acting, talking, and thinking.

AT THE BARBER'S

        A carriage having been sent for, we were driven to the shop or an old Virginian negro barber, whom my friend was accustomed to patronize. Entering first, he took off his hat and coat, and hung them up, and throwing himself into one of the barber's chairs, asked to have his hair trimmed and his face shaved. I followed his movements as closely as I was able, and was soon in my shirt sleeves and in possession of another chair, with an obsequious colored individual standing

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over me, vigorously mixing lather in a cup, which he evidently intended to apply to my face, notwithstanding that I had not the least sign of a beard. I was very much amused, but also a trifle frightened at this manoeuvre, for I really did not want to have my face scraped with a razor, and yet scarcely knew whether it would be the correct thing to decline going through the performance. My friend saw the dilemma I was in, and came to the rescue, by informing the barber that his young friend only wanted to have his hair trimmed in the latest style. The negro took the hint, but grinned a little as he put away the shaving apparatus, at which I was almost inclined to believe that he had suspicions with regard to me.

        I was somewhat reassured, however, and at the same time gained a bit of information with regard to certain masculine traits, when, as he commenced to trim my hair, he said, "De young gemmen in de military always likes to be shaved, sah, even if dey hasn't any beard. Dey tinks dat it helps to make de beard grow, sah;" and then he laughed heartily, as if he thought he was getting off a first-rate joke at the expense of a large and important class of his customers. For my own part I appreciated the joke immensely, in spite of the embarrassment under which I labored, and assured my colored friend that I had no disposition to force my beard, but thought that it would come of itself in course of time without assistance. The barber took this view of the case himself, and intimated confidentially that in his opinion a good many young fellows in their haste to get beards before nature intended that they should have any, not only give themselves considerable unnecessary pain by hacking their chins with awkwardly handled razors, but interfered materially with the proper and graceful growth of the hirsute adornment when it did begin to make its appearance.

        I was entertained, and not a little edified, by the talk with which the barber regaled me while he was cutting my hair; and, as it was evident from his manner that he took me for a young man, I was greatly reassured with regard to the success of my disguise, and left the shop with an increased confidence in my ability to play the part I had assumed. I was the more encouraged as my friend, when we were once more in the street, told me that I had conducted myself first rate, although he warned me that he was about to take me to a number of places with which I would not be so well pleased as I had been with the barber's shop, and in which I would be

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compelled to be constantly on my guard. He advised me to watch closely what he did, to treat to drinks or cigars after him, but not to take part in any games.

        Strolling down the street, we soon came to the hotel, and entered the bar-room, where my companion met a number of friends, to whom he introduced me as a young officer on his way to the seat of war. I was received with much cordiality, and the whole party speedily engaged in an animated conversation about the coming conflict. I said as little as possible, but tried to take part in the discussion, when I was compelled to speak, in as easy and natural a manner as I could without unduly obtruding myself. Of course, as soon as the first introductions were over, somebody suggested drinks. The men all took whiskey straight; but I did not venture on anything stronger than cider. Soon my companion managed to give me a quiet hint, and I treated the party to drinks and cigars. We then adjourned to the billiard-room, and my friend, taking off his coat, went at a game in good earnest with another member of the party. I had never seen the game of billiards played before, and I soon became intensely interested in watching, from a chair in which I sat in my shirt sleeves, pretending to smoke my cigar, the balls rolling over the table. As the weather was warm, I very soon, after entering the billiard-room, availed myself of what seemed to be the custom of the place, to take off my heavily padded coat, which began to be unbearable, and found myself much more at my ease sitting in my shirt sleeves.

A VISIT TO A FARO BANK.

        The players kept pushing the balls about, until nearly one o'clock in the morning, I sitting all the time watching them intently, and endeavoring to obtain some idea of the game. When one o'clock struck, my friend proposed that we should go to a faro bank; and although I was both sleepy and tired, for it was long after my usual hour for retiring, and I was pretty well used up with the excitement of the day, I felt bound to do whatever my instructor in masculine manners desired me. I knew what the game of faro was, for my father's country people are all extravagantly fond of sports of every kind, while in the army, especially upon lonely frontier stations, a game of cards is frequently the only diversion that officers have. Both before and after my

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marriage, therefore, I had been accustomed to card-playing, and was familiar with all the principal games. although there were some, like faro, used only for gambling purposes, which I had never seen played in a regular manner.

        Before entering the faro bank, my companion cautioned me not, under any circumstances, at the present or any future time, to take part in games like faro, or to drink any strong liquor. Card-playing for money, he said, I could avoid with tolerable ease, but I would frequently be so situated that I would be compelled to drink, and that I had better at once establish a reputation for temperance, and only take something that could not possibly intoxicate. If it was once understood that I never touched whiskey, brandy, or even wine, I could manage to get along very well, even with hard drinkers, and would very seldom be troubled by being forced to imbibe when I did not wish to do so, while all sensible people would respect me. My friend liked very well to take something stronger than water himself, but he felt that what would do for him would not do for me, and that even a very slight indiscretion with regard to such a matter as this might get me into serious trouble and thwart all my plans. His present object was simply to show me some points of masculine life, which it was important I should be acquainted with in order that I might play my part with entire success; for, having failed to dissuade me from my grand scheme, he was exceedingly solicitous that I should acquit myself with credit, and get through without tarnishing my fair fame.

        The faro bank was crowded with men, some deeply interested in the play, others looking on, and others standing about talking and drinking. The majority of the men in the room were civilians; but not a few officers, in their brilliant uniforms, were present, and the war seemed to be the one topic of conversation. My friend immediately recognized a number of acquaintances, to whom he introduced me. Among others was a major, who, I thought, eyed me pretty close, but who did not address me particularly, except to exchange the ordinary civilities. This officer, after we had been conversing a few moments, proposed that we should take a drink, and the whole party went up to the bar. All but myself called for brandy; I took cider. Whereupon the major said, with a smile, "Lieutenant, you don't appear to be a heavy drinker?"

        "No," replied my friend for me, "he is quite temperate;

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and it's just as good for him. If he don't begin to drink strong stuff, he'll never want to."

        "That's so," said the major; "hard drinking is a bad habit, and I wish sometimes I hadn't acquired it; but when a fellow's in camp, and cut off from civilization, he is apt to take more than is good for him; and when he once gets a start in that way, it is hard to stop." Then turning to me, he said, "What part of the country do you come from?"

        "He has just returned from the North," put in my friend.

        "Ah, indeed!" said the major. "To what command are you attached, sir?"

        "To none, as yet," I replied.

        Said my friend, "He is a West-Pointer, and has made up his mind to do some fighting for the South."

        "The devil he is!" remarked the major, shaking me heartily by the hand; "I am glad to find him on the right side. This is the kind of fellow we want, and, with a few more of the same sort, we will whip the Yankees inside of ninety days."

SOME WAR TALK.

        In a few moments a dozen or more men were gathered around, eagerly shaking my hand and plying me with all kinds of questions. They made such a decided demonstration, that I began to be a little frightened, but stood my ground valiantly, and replied to their queries the best I was able.

        Said one, "What do the Yankees think of us people down South?"

        "Why," replied I, "most persons say that there will be no fighting, and I do not think they want to fight if they can help it."

        "We'll show them about the fighting," said another.

        "Yes, lieutenant," said a third, "one Southerner can whip any ten they send down here, and will do it in thirty days at the farthest."

        The major now asked, "What do you think about foreign intervention?"

        This was something I had never given even a thought to; but I answered very boldly, and in a style that I thought would be appreciated by my auditors, "We don't want any

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foreign help in a war like this. I reckon we can manage to do our own fighting."

        "That's the kind of talk," cried the major.

        There was considerable more conversation of this kind, during which the drinking went on pretty freely, I treating the same as the rest, but being careful not to take anything that would upset me. I informed them that it was my intention to recruit and equip a company at my own expense in Rackensack, on the Mississippi, among the country people, and that I had eighty-eight thousand dollars with which to see myself through. This made a great impression, and the major remarked, "You are going to just the right place. The boys down there are first-rate marksmen, and you won't have any trouble in getting as many of them as you want."

        The major by this time was pretty full, and he proposed to show me the sights, if I would make a night of it with him. I thanked him, but said that as it was very late, and I was tired from travelling, I would like to retire. My friend seconded my efforts to get away; which we did finally, after some further argument with my new acquaintances, the major especially showing a disposition to insist upon my going with him to see what he called the sights. Finally we reached the house, where my friend put me into his room, while he went and took possession of another apartment occupied by a friend. It was after four o'clock when I went to sleep, pretty well used up with the excitement and unusual exertion which my masculine début had caused me.

        The next day I completed my outfit by purchasing a pair of field-glasses, a pair of blankets, a rubber overcoat, and a rubber blanket. On returning to my room I made out a form of attorney in my friend's name, and authorized him to attend to all my business matters for me. I also prepared a lot of recruiting papers on the model of some genuine ones I succeeded in getting hold of, and some muster rolls, and procured a manual of tactics, and before the day was over, was pretty nearly ready to commence active operations.

        My friend, thinking that my disguise could be somewhat improved, and a more manly air given to my countenance, obtained a false mustache, and a solution with which to stain my face, in order to make it look tanned. I rubbed on the solution until my skin was about the right tint, and then my friend carefully fastened the mustache on my upper lip with glue. This was a very great improvement, and I scarcely

Illustration

IN A BAR-ROOM IN MEMPHIS.

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knew myself when I looked in the glass, and laughed at the thought of what my husband would say when he saw me in this disguise.

        During the day I received two letters; one from my father, informing me that he was about to return to Cuba, which relieved my anxiety lest he should come after me, and the other dated Vicksburg, from my husband. In my reply to the latter, I stated that I was going to Texas, for the purpose of accompanying my father to Cuba. This I thought would prevent my husband from being apprehensive with regard to me, and enable me to get matters under good headway before he could interfere, for I was extremely anxious to give him a first-rate surprise.

        Everything was now in proper trim for me to commence operations in earnest; so, packing my trunk, rolling up my blankets in army style, as I had often seen soldiers do, preparing my papers, and getting ready a change of underwear, and other matters for immediate use in a small satchel, I was ready to start on my campaign with as stout a heart as ever beat in the breast of a soldier.

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CHAPTER V.

RECRUITING.

        My Plan of Action.--On the War Path.--In Search of Recruits in Arkansas.--The Giles Homestead.--Sensation caused by a Soldier's Uniform.--A prospective Recruit.--Bashful Maidens.--A nice little Flirtation.--Learning how to be agreeable to the Ladies.-- A Lesson in masculine Manners.--A terrible Situation.--Causeless Alarm. --The young Lady becoming sociable.--A few matrimonal Hints.--The successful Commencement of a Soldier's Career.--Anticipations of future Glory.--Dreamless Slumbers.

        THE plan of action I had fixed upon, after mature reflection, was to raise and equip a battalion at my own expense, taking care to select good material for it, and then to appear at the head of my little army before my husband, and to offer him the command. I pictured to myself again and again the look of astonishment he would put on when he recognized his wife as the leader of a gallant band who were pledged to fight to the death for the cause of Southern independence, and flattered myself with the idea that, so far from being inclined to censure me for my obstinate persistence in carrying out my idea of becoming a soldier, he would be disposed to praise without reservation, and so far from being ashamed of my action, would be proud of it. Whatever view of the matter he might take, however, he would be compelled to yield to my wishes, whether he desired to do so or not, and I would consequently be free to follow the bent of my inclinations without fear of further opposition on his part. My desire was to serve with him, if possible; but if this could not be done, I intended to play my part in the war in my own way,

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without his assistance. I, however, did not contemplate any further difficulty in obtaining his consent, and even his assistance, in the execution of my plans, and so started out on the war-path with a light heart, and with brilliant anticipations for the future.

        With my satchel, containing a change of under-clothing and a few other traps, in my hand, I crossed over to Hopefield, on the Arkansas side of the river, and took the five o'clock train, not knowing exactly where I proposed to bring up. For a time I busied myself with the study of my Manual of Tactics, with the intention of becoming sufficiently posted on certain points to get my recruits into something like military training immediately. Having been the wife of an army officer for a number of years, and having seen some hard service on the frontier, I was, in a measure, pretty well qualified for the work I had now undertaken, especially as I had paid a good deal of attention to the details of military organizations, and had seen soldiers drilled hundreds of times. I had not been in the train very long, before, finding the conductor at leisure, I entered into conversation with him, with a view of obtaining information that might be useful in the furtherance of my designs.

        Explaining to this individual, who appeared to take the liveliest interest in my affairs, that I was on a recruiting expedition, I asked him if he could not suggest a good neighborhood for me to commence operations in. He said that Hurlburt Station was as likely a place as I could find to pick up a company of strong, hearty fellows, who would do some good fighting, and advised me to try my luck there. Hurlburt, he told me, was not much of a place,--a saw-mill, a country store, in which the post office was located, a school-house, which was also used as a church, being pretty much all there was of it. The country around, however, was tolerably well settled, and most of the young men thereabouts would, he thought, be rather glad of a chance to have a crack at the Yankees.

HURLBURT STATION.

        The train speeded through the swamps, and it was not a great while before we reached Hurlburt Station, where, in accordance with the conductor's suggestion, I alighted. With my satchel in my hand, I made for the nearest house, and inquired of a negro, who was chopping wood, whether his master

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was at home. The darkey stared at me a bit, evidently attracted by something in my appearance, and then, grinning until he showed all his ivories, said that the old boss was away, but that the young boss was about somewhere. I accordingly told him to call the young boss; and soon up came a well-built, good-looking young fellow, whom I fixed upon immediately as a suitable recruit. In response to my inquiry whether I could stop there a few days, he said, with a laugh, "I guess so, if you can stand our fare. We haven't any accommodation for travellers, but pap never turns anybody away."

        I replied, "I guess I can stand your fare, if you treat me well in other respects."

        "We'll do the best we can for you," he said. "Come in, and I'll call mammy and the gals."

        The house to which he conducted me was a rude affair, constructed with logs daubed over with mud, and with only one door, which appeared to have no other fastening than a wooden latch. I quickly made up my mind that a smart young fellow like Frank Giles--for such, he took occasion to inform me, was his name--would not hesitate very long about making up his mind to abandon these rather dismal surroundings, for the sake of embracing such an opportunity for seeing something of the world, and of participating in exciting adventures, as I proposed to offer him.

        As we entered the house, Frank bawled out at the top of his voice, "Mammy, here's a man who wants to stop here."

        The old woman put in an appearance in a moment or two, and greeted me with a certain amount of cordiality, saying, in reply to my request for board and lodging for four or five days, "Well, sir, we're poor folks, and ain't got much to give you; but we'll do the best we can, if you choose to stop with us."

        I replied that I reckoned things would suit well enough, as I wasn't hard to please, and, in compliance with an invitation to make myself at home, took off my cap, and began to remove my duster.

        The old woman and the young fellow both stared at me with open-mouthed astonishment when they saw my uniform, which, up to this time, had been concealed by my long linen duster. When they could recover themselves, they began to deluge me with questions. The old woman seemed rather suspicious of me at first, and evidently surmised that I

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had some intention of carrying off Frank, and making a soldier of him. As for Frank, the sight of my brass buttons fired him with military ardor immediately, and I perceived that there would be no difficulty whatever in securing his enlistment.

        "I guess you're an officer; ain't you?" said Frank, following up this question with another one before I could open my mouth for a reply. "What are you going to do down here?"

        "Yes, I am an officer, on a recruiting trip," I answered. "What chance do you think I will have in getting some good fighting fellows in this neighborhood?"

        "What army do you belong to?" demanded Frank, apparently a little dubious about the colors I fought under.

        "To the army of Virginia," I replied.

        "Then I reckon you are for the South?" said he.

        "Certainly, sir," said I; "and you swear by the same colors that I do; don't you?"

        "Of course I do." And then he commenced a perfect siege of questions about what a soldier would have to do, how long was the war going to last, would there be much fighting, and expressed the liveliest desire to take a hand at licking the Yankees.

        I told him that I had the army regulations with me, and would take pleasure in explaining them to him in the morning. I then asked him to give me some water, so that I could clean myself up a bit before supper, as I was pretty well covered with dust and cinders after my ride. He accordingly got me a basin of water, and then left me to go off and hunt the old man, full of eagerness to tell him of the arrival of the recruiting officer, and of his own desire to go soldiering.

A SENSATION AMONG THE WOMEN.

        The sudden intrusion of a gallant young officer, in a gay uniform, plentifully decorated with buttons and lace, into the Giles homestead, made an even greater impression on the female than upon the male part of the family. My arrival had clearly created an intense excitement, and I understood very well that I was the subject of the whispered conversation that I heard going on outside. From the manner in which the old woman and her son had addressed me, I knew [torn page] they had no suspicions of my being other than what I s [torn page] but I judged that it would be necessary to be pretty [torn page]

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how I carried myself before the former, for she was clearly a sharp one, and would be quick to take note of any peculiarly feminine traits of manner I might display. I therefore determined to play the man right manfully, whether I thought myself observed or not; and this I found to be a very good rule to go by throughout the entire period during which I wore my disguise.

        While making my toilet, I noticed the old woman and a couple of girls peeping at me through a crack in the wall, and I accordingly, without appearing to notice them, took pains to strut about in as mannish a manner as I could, and to imitate a man's actions and gestures while washing my face and hands and arranging my hair.

        After a bit, Mrs. Giles and her daughters came into the room, the girls blushing up to their eyes, and dreadfully abashed, at being compelled to go through with the ceremony of an introduction to the handsome and gayly dressed young officer. The eldest of the two daughters was about sixteen, and was attired in a bright, flaring yellow calico; the youngest was about twelve years of age, and was somewhat less unbecomingly dressed in pink. Both of the girls had put on the best they had to do honor to the occasion, and the eldest, especially, so soon as her first bashfulness wore off, seemed very much disposed to attract the particular attention of the visitor by various little feminine artifices, which I understood very well, and which amused me immensely.

        On entering the room, the old woman said, awkwardly waving her hands towards her daughters, "These is my gals, sir."

        I bowed in the politest manner, and said, with what I intended to be a particularly fascinating smile, "Good evening, ladies," laying a particular emphasis on the word "ladies;" which had the desired effect, for both of the girls blushed deeper than ever, and the eldest simpered as if she heartily enjoyed it. The daughters, however, were too much confused just yet to do a great deal in the way of conversation; so, for the sake of sociability, and to put the entire party at their ease, I started a talk with the old woman, by remarking that it had been an exceedingly pleasant day.

        "Yes," replied Mrs. Giles; "but the craps need rain."

        After a few commonplaces of this kind about the weather, [torn page] other matters of no particular moment, I thought I might [torn page] proceed to business at once; for I expected that I

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would have some opposition from the old woman in my effort to enlist Frank. So I said, "Madam, I am trying to enlist your son for a soldier in my company; don't you think you can spare him?"

        She burst out crying, and exclaimed, "O, sir, I can't let my boy go for a soldier and get killed."

        The youngest girl, seeing her mother in tears, began to blubber a little also; but the eldest not only did not cry, but she looked at me in such a peculiar way, that I was convinced she wished I would take her instead of Frank.

AN ARKANSAS BELLE.

        The idea of having a mild little flirtation with this fair flower of the Arkansas forest rather grew upon me as I noticed the impression I was making upon her susceptible imagination. I had some curiosity to know how love-making went from the masculine standpoint, and thought that the present would be a good opportunity to gain some valuable experience in that line; for it occurred to me that if I was to figure successfully in the rôle of a dashing young Confederate officer, it would be necessary for me to learn how to make myself immensly agreeable to the ladies. I knew how to make myself agreeable to the men, or thought I did, and I could, if I chose, be agreeable to women in a feminine sort of fashion; but I had never studied the masculine carriage towards my sex critically, with a view of imitating it, and it was important, therefore, that I should begin at once to do so, in order that when compelled to associate with women, as I assuredly would be to a greater or less extent, I might not belie my outward appearances by my conduct. I flatter myself that during the time I passed for a man I was tolerably successful with the women; and I had not a few curious and most amusing adventures, which gave me an insight into some of the peculiarities of feminine human nature which had not impressed themselves on my mind before, perhaps because I was a woman.

        My flirtation with Miss Sadie Giles was not a very savage one, and I hope that it did not inflict more damage on her heart than it did on mine. It was immensely amusing to me while it lasted, and I presume, if not exactly amusing, it might at least be deemed entertaining to her. At any rate, I succeeded not only in having a little sly fun at her expense, but I picked up an idea or two that I subsequently found useful.

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        Noticing that Miss Sadie was developing a marked partiality for me, but was much too bashful to give me any encouragement, except some shy glances out of the corners of her eyes, I commenced to ogle her, and, whenever I had an opportunity, to pay her some delicate attentions, for the purpose of making her think I was just a bit fascinated with her. It soon became very evident that the heart which beat under that yellow calico dress was in a great state of excitement, and Miss Sadie, while not encouraging me by any direct advances, made it very plainly understood that my little attentions were appreciated.

        While I was conversing with the old woman on the subject of Frank's enlistment, and trying to convince her that it was better for him to volunteer than to wait to be drafted,--following Miss Sadie with my eyes all the while, and letting her see plainly that I was thinking more of her than of her mother,--I heard the youngest daughter, Fan, who had meanwhile left the room, saying to her father that there was a soldier in the house who had come to take Frank away to the war. The old man made his appearance a moment later, and, shaking me very cordially by the hand, gave me a hearty welcome, and apologized for the meagreness of the accommodations he was able to offer. I judged from his manner and from his language that he had seen better days, and that his education was much superior to that of his wife and children.

        Supper was now announced, and we all sat down to a tolerably plentiful repast, the principal features of which were bacon, cabbage, and fried chickens--the latter having been prepared in my honor. Miss Sadie managed to place herself by my side, by a dexterous little manoeuvre, which escaped the attention of the family, but which I understood perfectly. I, for my part, strove to play the gallant by helping her bountifully to the bacon, cabbage, and chicken, and by endeavoring to induce her to join in the conversation. She undoubtedly appreciated my attentions at their full value, but was not sufficiently self-possessed to do much talking; indeed, during the supper I could scarcely get anything out of her except a timid yes or no.

        The old man, on the contrary, was very talkative, and plied me with all kinds of questions about myself, my errand, the war, and the prospect of a speedy accomplishment of Southern independence. I told him that my name was Buford, that I was a lieutenant in the army, and that I had been sent down

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to Arkansas for the purpose of recruiting a company for service in Virginia. He said that I would have no difficulty in getting all the recruits I wanted, as the young fellows in those parts were every one eager to have a dash at the Yankees, and promised to aid me in every way possible.

        The apartment in which the supper was served was about ten by twelve feet, and was used as a kitchen as well as dining and sleeping-room. Everything about it was dreadfully dirty, and the table at which we were eating, and the bench upon which Miss Sadie and myself were seated, were both so greasy that I was much afraid of seriously soiling my new clothes; and I do not doubt that my agitation on this subject was attributed by the yellow-calico clad damsel beside me to the close proximity in which I was placed to her. I ate heartily of the viands that were set before me, paying more attention, however, to the chicken than to the greasy bacon and cabbage, which latter, however, were eaten with great gusto by my entertainers.

MY MUSTACHE IN DANGER.

        Before the supper was over I had a terrible fright, and for a few moments fancied that I was on the brink of a discovery that would upset all my plans, and nip my enterprise in the bud. While drinking a glass of buttermilk, which I greatly enjoyed, for it was the best thing on the table, and was most refreshing, my mustache got full of the fluid, and when I attempted to wipe this ornament, which my Memphis friend had so carefully glued upon my upper lip, and which added so much to the manliness of my countenance, I fancied that it was loose and was about to fall off. Here was a terrible situation, and I cannot undertake to describe what I felt. To say that I was frightened, scarcely gives an idea of the cold chills that ran down my back. The ridicule of my entertainers, and especially of Miss Sadie, was the least thing that I feared, and I would rather brave any number of perils at the cannon's mouth than to repeat the emotions of that dreadful moment. Such a situation as this is ludicrous enough, but it was not a bit funny for me at that time; and I was on pins and needles until I could get away, and take means to secure the mustache firmly on again. I managed, however, to keep a straight countenance, and to join in the conversation with a tolerable degree of equanimity, keeping my hand up to my mouth all the time though, and doing my best to hold the mustache

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on. My fright, after all, was causeless, for on examination I found that the hair was too firmly glued to my lip to be easily removed; indeed, I subsequently discovered that it was practically impossible to move it without the aid of alcohol.

        After supper, the old man and Frank went off to finish up their work before going to bed, and the women folks busied themselves in clearing the dishes. I had thus a little time to myself, and took advantage of it, first of all, to ascertain about the security of my mustache. To my intense relief I found it as fast as if it actually grew on my lip; and so, with a light heart, I returned to the house, and joined the old woman and the girls.

        During the supper, the elder Giles nearly monopolized the conversation, and scarcely gave his wife and children a chance to put a word in edgewise. I saw very plainly that the old woman was worried at the prospect of losing Frank, and consequently prepared to sustain a heavy siege of queries and expostulations from her. Leaving the girls to finish putting away the supper things, she seated herself in the corner, and began pulling vigorously at a pipe filled with some very strong-smelling tobacco, which was far from grateful to my nostrils.

        After a variety of inquiries about the war, the duties of a soldier, the chances of being killed, the amount of pay a soldier received, and like matters, she asked whether I had any parents.

        I replied that my father was living.

        "Ain't he opposed to your going to the war?" said she.

        "O, no," I answered; "he knows that it is what a military man must expect; and he not only wants me to go, but he will be disappointed if I do not see some hard fighting, and have a chance to distinguish myself."

        "Are you married?" was the next query.

        "No, madam," I replied, giving a sharp look at Sadie, who made a pause in her rattling of the dishes to hear what I would say; "I am one of the unfortunate single men."

        "You are much better off, young man," struck in the old man Giles, who just then came in; and throwing himself on the bench, began to smoke a very strong pipe rather furiously.

        Hearing the girls giggle at this, I glanced over my shoulder, and seeing that Miss Sadie had finished her work, and was apparently anxious to be better acquainted with me, I politely arose and offered her my raw-hide chair. This she blushingly

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declined, but took a wooden stool, upon which she seated herself quite close to me. I could think of nothing so likely to loosen her tongue, and make her properly sociable, as a reference to religious matters; so I asked her if there were any churches in the neighborhood.

        She said that there was no regular church, but that on Sundays a preacher held forth in the school-house; and then, without much difficulty, we got into quite a discussion about religion, and from that to other matters of more immediate interest, if not of so much permanent importance. The old man, I presume, was rather tired, and so, taking advantage of this change of subject in our conversation, he went to bed, and soon was snoring lustily. Finally, Miss Sadie got back to what was the subject uppermost in her thoughts, and began questioning me about my own affairs, by asking if I had any brothers.

        "Yes," I replied; "one, older than myself, who is more fortunate, for he is married,"--giving a look at her out of the corner of my eye, which I intended her to understand as an intimation that, although not married, I had no objections to being so if I could find a girl to suit me.

        "You ought to be married, too," said Miss Sadie, with a simper, and apparently appreciating this kind of conversation much better than the war talk the old man and I had been indulging in.

        "How can I get married when none of the girls will have me?" I retorted.

        "You git out," was the rather irrelevant remark Miss Sadie made at this point, but giving me no reason to believe that she meant her words to be construed literally.

        The old woman thinking, I suppose, to flatter me, said, "A handsome young fellow like you, with, I dare say, a pretty fair education, needn't be afraid of the gals not having you."

        At this point of the conversation the old man awoke, and sang out, "Don't you women talk that man to death. Why don't you git out and let him go to bed?" and then, pointing to a bed in the corner, he told me to turn in there when I felt like it.

THE END OF A DAY'S ADVENTURE.

        This was a broad enough hint that Mr. Giles did not want to hear any more conversation that night; so I excused myself to the old woman and the girls, and stepped out on the porch to

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think a little by myself as to what I had best do next. Here I was at the end of my first day's experience in playing the part of a soldier, with every reason to believe that I had thus far played it most successfully, and that I had really made quite a brilliant start. The prospects were all in favor of the easy accomplishment of my immediate designs, and I saw myself, in imagination, already at the head of a company of stalwart young recruits, appearing in the presence of my astonished husband, and asking him to lead us to battle. That I could successfully pass myself off for a man with both sexes was an assured fact, for the elder Giles and Frank undoubtedly took me for just what I professed to be, and the latter was both willing and anxious to enter himself upon my muster-roll, while the susceptible heart of Miss Sadie was apparently touched in a way that it could never have been had the faintest suspicion of my not being a man crossed her mind. The old woman, too, who, in a matter of this kind, would be quite certain to be a more critical observer than the rest of the family, had no hesitation in believing me to be a gallant young soldier; so that, taking all things into consideration, I had reason to congratulate myself upon a brilliant opening to my campaign.

        My hopes were high, and my heart beat quick at the thoughts that crowded upon me of the future that seemed opening out before me, as under the soft stars of that April night I paced up and down before the house maturing my plans for the morrow, and indulging in romantic imaginings of the glory that awaited me, could I but follow up successfully the career so auspiciously begun. The thought of possible failure only crossed my mind to be banished from it, and I resolved to dare everything to make success a certainty and not a mere peradventure. At length, wearied in mind and body by the fatigues and excitements of the day, I sought the couch which the hospitality of the Giles family had provided me.

        When I got back to the room the old woman and the girls had disappeared, and the head of the house was snoring in one corner of the room. I had a large sum of money on my person, and a handsome gold watch; quite enough portable property, in fact, to tempt people so dead poor as my entertainers, and I was somewhat dubious at first about the best manner of disposing of my valuables for the night. I finally, however, concluded to merely take off my coat, vest, and boots, and to put my money and watch under me in such a manner

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that they could not be touched without my being aroused. My revolver was also examined, and found to be in good shooting condition, and was placed beneath the pillow so that I could easily grasp it in any emergency requiring its use. These preparations completed, I threw myself upon the bed, and ere many minutes, overcome with fatigue, I fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

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CHAPTER VI.

A WIDOW.

        Flirtation and Recruiting.--My brilliant Success in enlisting a Company.--Embarkation for New Orleans.--Letter from my Husband.--Change of Plans.--Cheered while passing through Mobile.--Arrival at Pensacola.--Astonishment of my Husband.--Sudden Death of my Husband by the Bursting of a Carbine.--Determination to go to the Front.--A fascinating Widow.--A Lesson in Courtship.--Starting for the Seat of War.--Unpleasant Companions.--A bit of Flirtation with a Columbia Belle.--In Charge of a Party of Ladies and Children at Lynchburg.--Arrival in Richmond.--Another Lady in Love with me.--The Major wants to make a Night of it.--A great Game of Cards.--Off for the Battle-field.

        THE noise of a coffee-mill, operated in a very energetic manner by one of the daughters of the house, and the yelling of half a dozen ill-conditioned dogs, disturbed my slumbers in the morning, at an hour when I fain would have kept possession of my couch, in spite of its unsavoriness. I knew that it was time to get up, but the fingers of sleep pressed heavily upon my eyelids, and I lay for some time half awake and half lost in slumber, not quite certain as to exactly where I was, wondering if camp-life was as rough as this, amused at myself for thinking of such a thing, when I knew that many a soldier would envy me my surroundings, and then dropping off amid a cloud of fancies into a sound doze again. The rather piercing tones of Miss Sadie, calling to Frank, and a fresh outbreak of yells from the dogs, awoke me again, and this time in good earnest. I jumped out of bed, thinking that this kind of laziness would never do if I intended to be a soldier, and pulling on my boots, I stepped out on the porch.

        The dawn was far advanced, but the sun was still below the horizon, and the air was dull and heavy with dampness and with the miasmatic vapors of the neighboring swamps. It required some little exertion for me to shake off the lethargy

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that clung to my limbs, but after a wash in a wooden bowl filled with water, that Frank brought me, I felt refreshed, and ready to begin with proper energy the work of the day. I was not very long in arranging my toilet, using my own soap and towels, which I fortunately had brought with me, for they were articles with which the Giles homestead did not appear to be over plentifully supplied, and was in the midst of a discussion with Frank as to the best method of proceeding in order to enlist the number of men I desired, when the old woman put her head out of the door and squeaked, "Come to breakfast, Mister."

        I was in a few moments seated by the side of Miss Sadie, who was still attired in the brilliant yellow calico dress, which was evidently the most esteemed bit of costume her wardrobe afforded. She blushed furiously as I greeted her, but was so evidently partial to me, that the other members of the family could not but take notice of it, and there was not a little sport at her expense. I overheard Frank say to her, in a loud whisper, "You need not stick yourself up for that fellow; he don't want you."

        At this I redoubled my attentions, and Miss Sadie showed very plainly by her manner that she was highly flattered by them, so much so, that when Frank, seeing how things were going, whispered maliciously, "I'll tell Bob how you are going on with that soldier," she only turned up her nose, and gave her head a toss in a manner that indicated as plain as words, that Sadie's Arkansas sweetheart had been completely cut out by the military individual seated beside her. It was not altogether bad fun to indulge in a bit of a flirtation with Miss Sadie, for she enjoyed the flattering attentions I paid her immensely, but as I had matters of more importance upon my hands, it was impossible for me to make myself as agreeable to her as she would have liked me to.

RECRUITING.

        When breakfast was over, I went out to see the girls milk the cows, and then, after chatting a bit with Sadie, I crossed over to the school-house, where I found half a dozen rather rough fellows waiting to see me, all of whom expressed themselves as extremely anxious to enlist. One very hard-looking specimen, who could not even write his name, wanted very badly to be captain; indeed, they all were quite ambitious to

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be officers, and I had some difficulty in explaining to them, that in the army, in time of war, where actual fighting was being done, it was a very different thing holding the position of an officer, from what it was in the militia. I, however, encouraged them to believe that they all might be lieutenants, captains, and even generals, some day, if they fought bravely, and succeeded in creating such an enthusiasm among them over the prospect of a brush with the Yankees, to be followed by rapid promotion, that the whole party were soon ready to enlist on any terms I chose to suggest.

        After talking the matter over with these men for some time, and explaining the situation in the best style I was able, I wrote out solve bills calling for volunteers, one of which I posted on the school-house door, and the rest I gave to Frank, who mounted a horse, and started off to distribute them through the country. During the day I read the army regulations at least a dozen times, and tried to make the men understand what they meant, This was not a very easy matter, but I succeeded in enrolling thirty-six, whom I ordered to report for roll call the next morning. This they did not much fancy; but on my stating that they were under oath, and bound to obey, they yielded without making any trouble about it, but apparently with no great admiration for military discipline.

        My quota was easily filled in four days, and I then proceeded to get my battalion organization complete, and to make preparations for departure. Two of the most intelligent of the men I appointed subordinate officers, one sergeant and the other corporal; and gave them instructions about drilling the battalion, and maintaining discipline in my absence. Everything now being in proper trim, I sent a messenger ahead to the friend in Memphis who had so efficiently aided my plans, with instructions for him to engage transportation, and then getting my troops into marching order, off we started.

        Having seen my little army under way, I lingered for a moment to bid good-by to the Giles family. The old man did not much fancy losing both his boys,--for his youngest son Ira had enlisted as well as Frank,--but he stood it bravely; the old woman, however, broke down entirely, while both the girls cried, Miss Sadie, I thought, more at the idea of parting with me than at losing her brothers. I, however, begged them to keep their courage up, and to expect the boys home soon, covered with glory, as the heroes of many well-fought fields.

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        Miss Sadie's hand I squeezed a bit as I said farewell, and I fancy that her lover, Bob, had some difficulty after that in obliterating the impression the young officer had made upon her heart.

ON THE MARCH.

        I determined to march my men to the river, in order to break them in; but before we got to the landing, a good many of them were decidedly of the opinion that soldiering was much harder work than they had calculated upon. None of them showed any disposition to back out, however, and the majority, despite the fatigue of the march, were quite elated at the prospect before them of being able to see something of the world. I do not think any of them appreciated the real importance of what they were doing, and looked upon the whole affair much in the light of an excursion, which would be rather jolly than otherwise. Indeed, to tell the truth, I rather regarded the thing in that light myself, notwithstanding that I had seen enough of military life for me to understand something of its serious character.

        At the landing I met my Memphis friend with my baggage and equipments and a tent, and with blankets and camp utensils for the use of the men. He also handed me a letter from my husband. This I eagerly read, and much to my disappointment, learned from it that he had gone to Pensacola. I determined, however, to push on and meet him there, for I was bent on carrying out my original idea of surprising him, and of offering him the command of my battalion. I accordingly embarked my men--two hundred and thirty-six in all--upon the steamer Ohio Belle, and issued to them blankets and other articles necessary for their comfort.

        My plan now was to go down to New Orleans, where I should be able to procure such stores and equipments as were immediately needed, and where I could perfect my disguise; for, not only did my padded coat not fit me as it ought, but it was almost unbearably warm, and I was anxious to substitute something more comfortable for the padding at the earliest possible moment. My friend accompanied me as far as Vicksburg, where he bade me adieu, the tears springing to his eyes as he did so, for he could not dispossess himself of the impression that I was engaged in a foolhardy and dangerous enterprise, out of which I could scarcely come with credit to myself and friends. He, however, did not attempt to dissuade me,

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for the time for argument had long since passed, and he knew perfectly well that I was determined to follow my own inclinations at whatever hazard.

        On arriving at New Orleans, I landed my men a short distance above the city, and then, with as little delay as possible, purchased my quartermaster and commissary stores, and perfected my private outfit in the manner stated in a previous chapter. Among my other purchases was a fine horse, which I obtained from Dr. Elliott, on Union Street. No finer body of men ever went out of New Orleans than the Arkansas Grays, as my battalion was called. As we passed through Mobile we were heartily cheered, the men waving their hats, and the women their handkerchiefs, and everybody commenting in the most laudatory terms upon our martial appearance. I cannot pretend to tell how proud I was, when I noted how much attention we were attracting; and if the shadow of a doubt as to the propriety of the course I was pursuing remained in any mind, it assuredly vanished as the cheers of the citizens of Mobile greeted my ears. I felt that, in spite of my being a woman, I was intended for a military leader, and I resolved, more firmly than ever, to let nothing stand in the way of my winning the fame I coveted.

A GENUINE SURPRISE.

        At Pensacola we were received by my husband, who came to meet us in response to a telegraphic despatch I had sent him, signed by my nom de guerre. He had not the slightest idea who I was, and would not have recognized me had I not revealed myself. So soon as I was able, however, after landing my men from the train, I took him aside where I could speak to him privately, and disclosed my identity. He was intensely astonished, and greatly grieved, to see me come marching into Pensacola at the head of a body of men in such a guise, and said, that although I had done nobly, he would not for the world have had me attempt such a thing. I told him, however, that there was no use of discussing the matter, for I was determined to be a soldier, and then placed in his hands the muster-rolls of my company, to show him how well I could do what I undertook. He was proud of the ability I had displayed in carrying out my plans, and seeing the uselessness of further argument, took command of the men, and commenced putting them in training. After they were

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mustered in, and stationed in camp, Thomas C. De Caulp was appointed first lieutenant, and Frank Murdock second lieutenant, while I was ordered back to New Orleans to purchase more stores and equipments.

THE DEATH OF MY HUSBAND.

        I had scarcely arrived at my destination when I received a despatch announcing the death of my husband, and requesting my immediate return. Terribly shocked, and nearly wild with grief, I started for Pensacola again, and found, upon my arrival there, that, while drilling his men, my husband undertook to explain the use of the carbine to one of the sergeants, and the weapon exploded in his hands, killing him almost instantly. I was now alone in the world, and more than ever disposed to take an active part in the war, if only for the purpose of revenging my husband's death. Smothering my grief as much as possible, I turned over the command of my battalion to Lieutenant De Caulp, for the double reason that the men were only enlisted for three months, and were to be stationed in Pensacola, or its vicinity, where there was not much prospect of very active service just then, and that I had resolved to go to the front in the character of an independent, with a view of leading a life of more stirring adventures than I probably should be able to do if permanently attached to a particular command.

A PRETTY WIDOW.

        During the brief time I had been in Pensacola I had formed the acquaintance of a number of officers who were going to the front, and, as they intended to leave for Richmond shortly, I concluded that it would be better to go in their company, especially as several of them were first-rate fellows, and one or two particular friends of my late husband. I also became acquainted with a good many ladies, one of whom, a dashing young widow, paid my masculine charms the compliment of falling desperately in love with them. This lady did not require any encouragement from me; but finding that, while polite to her, I was rather shy and reserved, and apparently insensible to her attractions, she made a dead set at me, and took pains to let me know, in terms that could not be misunderstood, the sentiments she felt for me.

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        I was really in no mood for nonsense of this kind, and, to tell the truth, I was not particularly pleased with the decidedly unfeminine advances that were made towards me. The necessity of playing the character I had assumed, however, in a successful manner, pressed upon me, and I felt that diversion of some kind was requisite to divert my mind from the sad and gloomy thoughts caused by my bereavement. I accordingly determined to meet my fair one half way, and paid her numerous attentions, such as taking her to the theatre, and to drive upon the beach. I, however, resolutely refused to accept any of the numerous very broad hints she threw out, to the effect that a little more love-making would be more than agreeable, at which she seemed considerably surprised. Finding, at length, that I either could not or would not understand what she was driving at, she bluntly reproached me for not being more tender in my demonstrations towards her. I put on the innocent air of a green schoolboy, perfectly nonplussed with the advances of a pretty woman, and assured her that I had never courted a lady in my life, and really did not know how to begin. The eagerness with which the widow undertook to instruct me, was decidedly comical, and I learned more about some of the fine points of feminine human nature from her in a week, than I had picked up for myself in twenty years. The courting was pretty much all on her side, and I really had not imagined before that it was possible for a lady to take such an important matter so entirely out of the gentleman's hands. For the fun of the thing I pretended to soften to her, and by the time I was ready to start for Virginia, we were the best possible friends; and although I was careful to make no definite promises, the widow parted from me with the understanding that when the war was over we were to be something more than friends to each other. If I were a man, it would be absurd for me to tell all this, but being a woman, this and other of my love adventures have a comical interest for me, as I doubt not they will have for the reader. If they do not show some of the members of my own sex in the best possible light, it is their fault and not mine.

OFF FOR VIRGINIA.

        On the 16th of June I started for Virginia, in company with quite a jovial party of fellows, who were much disposed to make a frolic of their journey. They had a good deal of

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whiskey with them, and I was constantly importuned to drink, my declining to do so not having the best possible effect on some of them. The conversation became more and more profane and ribald, as the wiskey produced its natural effect; and being almost the only sober person in the party, I was not only intensely disgusted, but the warnings I had received from my husband came into my mind, and had a most depressing influence upon me. Much of the talk was mere meaningless blackguardism, and my ears were saluted for the first time with nastiness in the shape of language, such as it would have been impossible for me to have imagined the tongues of human beings to utter. It was an intense relief to me when, about four o'clock, the train arrived at Montgomery, and I was able to get by myself for a little while.

        At the Exchange Hotel I met Mr. Leroy P. Walker, the secretary of war, with whom I had a very pleasant conversation about the prospects of the contest with the North, the political situation, and other matters of interest. The next day I bought a smart and mannerly negro boy, named Bob, of about eighteen years of age. I procured him a proper suit of clothes and a military cap, and then gave him charge of my baggage, with instructions to keep a sharp eye on my effects, to behave himself properly, and to come to me when he wanted spending money. Bob proved an excellent servant, taking care of my clothing in good style, and when we were in camp, attending to my two horses in a very satisfactory manner.

        From Montgomery I went to Columbia, South Carolina, where I remained over for several days. During my stay in this place I formed the acquaintance of a very pleasant family, one of the young ladies of which, Miss Lou, seemed to be quite taken with me. I was invited to the house, and passed a number of agreeable hours there, and on parting, Miss Lou gave me her address, requesting me to write to her, and pinned a small C. S. flag on my coat.

        On the train bound north, there was another quite jovial party, but, very much to my gratification, not so much addicted to whiskey-drinking, blasphemy, and obscenity, as that with which I had started out. A good deal of the conversation was about wives and sweethearts and pictures of the loved ones at home were freely handed about. I was rallied rather severely because I could not show a photograph of my sweetheart, and some of the men intimated that I must

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be a poor kind of a man not to be able to find a girl to exchange photographs with me. I took the sharp things they thought fit to say of me in good part, and replied that I did not doubt of my ability to get a sweetheart soon enough when I wanted one.

A LADY'S MAN.

        Before the journey was ended, I had an opportunity to prove myself as good a lady's man as the best of them, for at Lynchburg, where we were compelled to remain over all night, on taking the train for Richmond, an elderly gentleman stepped up, and after inquiring my destination, asked if I could take charge of some ladies. I replied that I would do so with pleasure; but was rather taken aback when I found myself placed in the position of escort to five women and two children. I could not imagine what induced the old gentleman to pick out a little fellow like me, when so many much larger, older, and more experienced officers were present, some of whom were greatly my superiors in rank. I was dreadfully embarassed, but resolved to play the gallant to the best of my ability, although my heart was in my throat, and I could scarcely find voice to announce myself as Lieutenant Buford, when he inquired my name for the purpose of introducing me.

        I was about to inquire whether the ladies had their tickets and checks, when the old gentleman presented them, very much to my satisfaction. Excusing myself for a few moments, I went to attend to checking my own baggage. While I was engaged in this occupation, an officer of my party, who was tolerably full of liquor, approached, and slapping me on the back, exclaimed, "You're a lucky fellow to fall in with such a nice lot of feminines; won't you introduce me?"

        "Not unless the ladies give their consent," I replied. "If they are willing, and a good opportunity offers, I have no objections."

        Just then the bell rang, and I hastened to escort the ladies to the car. My tipsy friend, who was determined to show his gallantry at all hazards, whether his services were agreeable or not, stood ready to lend his assistance; but as he could not but make himself offensive in the condition he was in, I determined to snub him so completely that he would not have the temerity to intrude on us again. Drawing myself up to my full height, and putting on as severe a manner as I could

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command, I said, "Excuse me, sir, but these ladies are under my charge, and I am able to take care of them without assistance."

        He gave me a rather defiant look, but otherwise took this snub quietly enough, and went into another car, while I joined the ladies feeling several inches taller, and with an increased confidence in myself.

        We were soon under way, and had a pleasant enough ride, or at least it would have been pleasant enough had I not been tormented with the fear that they would penetrate my disguise, and discover that I was not what I pretended to be. No suspicions were excited, however, and we finally arrived at Richmond without anything having happened to mar the enjoyment of the journey. On alighting from the cars, I procured carriages to convey the several members of the party to their destination; two of the ladies, however, accompanied me to the Ballard House, where I obtained rooms for them. The youngest of my newly-found female friends,--a very pretty girl, who seemed to have taken quite a fancy to me,--had the room adjoining mine, and I had scarcely established myself in my new quarters, when a waiter knocked at the door and handed me a card from her, asking me to escort her to supper. I laughed to myself at this, and fancying that I had succeeded in making another conquest, determined to get myself up in the best style I could, and to do credit to the uniform I wore by showing her that her appreciation was not misapplied. I dressed myself in my best apparel, and, after a visit to the barber's, I was ready to play the gallant in the best possible manner.

AN EMBARRASSING POSITION.

        It was all well enough while I was pacing the corridors of the hotel with mademoiselle on my arm, but I confess that my heart failed me when we entered the dining-room, and I fancied that everybody was looking at us. When the big steward, advancing towards us with his politest bow, said, "Lieutenant, step this way with your lady," and then turning to one of the waiters, told him to attend to this gentleman and lady, it seemed to me as if every eye in the room was fixed on me. I was a rather conspicuous object, it is true, for my uniform, made of the best cloth, and trimmed with buttons and gold lace, was well calculated to attract attention,

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while the lady on my arm being rather taller than myself, made me even more an object for the curious to gaze at than if I had been alone. The probabilities, however, are, that I imagined myself to be creating a much greater sensation than I was, and it was not a great while before I became accustomed to be stared at, and learned not to mind. My feelings on entering the dining-room, however, were not the less unpleasant for being imaginary, and I was in no mood to develop my talents as a conversationalist for the delectation of my companion.

        The young lady was nothing daunted by me silence, and chattered away at a great rate on all imaginable subjects, and finally succeeded in putting me somewhat at my ease. I was just beginning to feel a little comfortable, when in came several persons, my friend, the major, among them, whom I had met in Memphis. They sat down nearly opposite to us, on the other side of the room. I could see by their glances in our direction, and by the laughing manner in which they conversed, that they were discussing my lady and me, and I tried all I could to avoid noticing them. The major, however, at length caught my eye and saluted me, and from a motion he made, I was dreadfully afraid that he intended to come over and join us. My lady at length finished her supper, much to my relief, and I hurried her out of the room as fast as I could, and repaired to the drawing-room, where I excused myself on the plea that I had urgent business to attend to, as I intended leaving the city on the first train. She seemed extremely reluctant to part company with me, and would not let me go until I promised to see her again before I left the city. In bidding her good night, she extended her hand; and when I took it, she gave mine a squeeze, that indicated as plain as words that a trifle more forwardness on my part would not be disagreeable. I was a little bit disgusted with her very evident desire to capture me, and was very glad to get her off my hands, my determination on parting being not to see her again if I could avoid doing so.

        As I strode down the hall, I was overhauled by my Memphis friends, who were very glad to see me, and asked me all kinds of questions about myself, affairs in Memphis, the operations of the Army of the West, and other matters of similar interest. A good deal of the information I gave them was fictitious, while the rest was made up from telegrams, the newspapers, and conversations I had overheard; but it answered the

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purposes of the moment, and was probably about as near the truth as the greater part of the war talk that was going on around us. I told them that I intended joining Johnston's army, and that I was bound to have a hand in the fight that was coming off, and was anxious to get to the front as soon as possible.

        After some further conversation of this kind, the major proposed that we should take a carriage and see the city. We accordingly drove around for a while, seeing the sights, and visiting numerous bar-rooms and gambling-houses, and before a great while the major, who took rather big drinks every time, was very much inclined to be noisy, and to insist upon our making a night of it with him. I had no desire for his company any longer than I could help, and I especially did not desire to go through with the particular kind of performance which he called "making a night of it;" so, resisting his his importunities, I invited another member of the party, a captain, and a very gentlemanly, quiet sort of a fellow, to play a game of cards with me. The major, finding that he could not get us to join him, started off to hunt other companions, while the captain and I returned to the hotel, where we played "old sledge," until one o'clock in the morning.

        On going to my room, I found a note from my lady friend, requesting me to visit her in her chamber. This considerably astonished me, and assuredly did not increase my good opinion of her. I was almost tempted, however, to comply, just for the sake of hearing what she had to say to me, but wisely concluded that, situated as I was, it would be more prudent to avoid any further acquaintance with such a forward specimen of my sex.

        I slept late the next morning, having forgotten to give directions for being called, and found, much to my satisfaction, on inquiring of the clerk, that my lady had left before I was out of bed. After breakfast, I ordered Bob to have everything ready for our departure by the six o'clock train. While strolling about the street, I was accosted by an officer, who asked me to show my papers. I told him that I had none, but that I was an independent, and had recruited, and put in the field, at my own expense, a battalion of two hundred and thirty-six men. This seemed to highly delight him, for he shook me warmly by the hand, asked me to step over to his office, where he could furnish me with transportation, and otherwise showed a desire to be of service to me. I

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thanked him, but declined the offer, on the plea that I proposed to pay my own way.

        During the day I bought two horses and shipped them, and provided myself with a number of articles necessary for the campaign upon which I was about entering. Returning to the hotel, I paid my bill, had a lunch put up, and my baggage got ready, while Bob blacked my hoots and brushed my coat. As ill luck would have it, however, I missed the six o'clock train, and was consequently compelled to remain another night in Richmond. The next morning, however, Bob and I were off in the five o'clock train, the darkey apparently as anxious as myself to see what fighting really was.

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CHAPTER VII.

THE BATTLE OF BULL RUN.

        Joining the Army in the Field.--Trying to get a Commission.--The Skirmish at Blackburn's Ford.--Burying the Dead.--I attach myself to General Bee's Command.--The Night before the Battle of Bull Run.--A sound Sleep.--The Morning of the Battle.--A magnificent Scene.--The Approach of the Enemy.--Commencement of the Fight.--An Exchange of Compliments between old Friends.--Bee's Order to fall back, and his Rally.--"Stonewall" Jackson.--The Battle at its fiercest.--The Scene at Midday.--Huge Clouds of Dust and Smoke.--Some tough Fighting.--How Beauregard and Johnston rallied their Men.--The Contest for the Possession of the Plateau.--Bee and Bartow killed.--Arrival of Kirby Smith with Re-enforcements.--The Victory Won.--Application for Promotion.--Return to Richmond.

        I WAS now about to enter upon the realization of all my dreams, to see some real warfare, to engage in real battles, to do some real fighting, and, as I fondly hoped, to have some opportunities of distinguishing myself in a signal manner. I was never in better health and spirit than on that bright summer morning, when I left Richmond for the purpose of joining the forces of the Confederacy in the face of the enemy; and the nearer we approached our destination, the more elated did I become at the prospect before me of being able to prove myself as good a fighter as any of the gallant men who had taken up arms in behalf of the cause of Southern independence. I had only one fear, and that was, that I should be stopped on account of not having the proper papers; but my motto was, "Nothing venture, nothing have;" and I was bent on facing the thing through, and trusting to luck to bring me out all right. Fortunately I had no trouble of any kind, and arrived safely at Clifton,--a supply-station about a dozen miles from the headquarters of the army in the field.

        At Clifton I bought a couple of fine horses, and on the 15th of July set out for headquarters, with a view of being assigned to a command where I should have a chance to see some fighting. I sought an interview with a prominent general, but he

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was in rather a crusty humor; and as he did not seem inclined to talk with me, I concluded not to bother him, but to take my chances as matters might shape themselves for the accomplishment of my designs. His adjutant was more polite, and desired to employ me as a courier; but this did not suit my notions, and I consequently declined. I told him that I was an independent, paying my own expenses, and that the only thing I wanted was an opportunity to take a hand in the coming fight. I suppose he thought that I was entirely too independent for him, for he said no more, but turned away, and went about other affairs.

TRYING TO GET A COMMISSION.

        General Beauregard was in command of the entire army; but I felt a hesitation in approaching him, especially after the rebuff I had just received. Thinking that the shortest way to get what I wanted was to obtain a regular commission, I offered an officer, with whom I became acquainted, five hundred dollars for his. He would not sell, however; and I then went over to Brigadier General Bonham, who was holding Mitchell's Ford, and introduced myself to him. General Bonham looked at me sharply, and asked what company I belonged to.

        "To none," I replied. "I belong wherever there is work to do."

        "Well," said Bonham, "you are the right sort to have around when a fight is going on. If you stay here a little while, I reckon you will be able to find plenty of work."

        I took this as a hint that I might make myself at home, and, bowing myself out of the general's presence, went to look after my boy Bob. The darkey was just beginning to have some appreciation of what fighting was really like, and was badly scared. I told him that if he ran off and left me, I would kill him if I ever caught him again; which threat had its desired effect, for he stuck to me through thick and thin.

THE SKIRMISH AT BLACKBURN'S FORD.

        At half past twelve o'clock, on the 18th, the enemy made a sharp attack, but did not do any great damage. Kemper's battery, which occupied the ridge on the left of the Centreville road, performed efficient service in holding the Yankees

Illustration

STARTING TO THE FRONT.

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in check. Soon, however, the enemy advanced in strong force, and attacked General Longstreet's brigade at Blackburn's Ford. Our pickets fell slowly back across the Ford, which was crossed by our skirmishers, and for some time a rapid but irregular firing was kept up between the two contending armies. Longstreet, however, soon was in a condition to meet the attack squarely; and bringing about three thousand infantry into position, he succeeded in repulsing the enemy after a sharp skirmish of nearly an hour's duration. Later, Longstreet was re-enforced by Brigadier General Early's brigade, and the enemy finding us too strong for them, was forced to retreat from the field. As they broke and ran, I fired a last shot at them with a dead man's musket, which I picked up. During the greater part of this fight, the men belonging to the two armies who engaged in it were often not more than a few feet from each other, and it seemed more like a series of duels than anything such as I had imagined a battle would be. It was during this affair that I had the pleasure of meeting with a man I had heard a great deal about,--Colonel J. B. Walton, of the Washington artillery. He was a brave man, and a very genial, pleasant fellow.

        This skirmish was but the prelude to the great battles of Manassas or Bull's Run, which was fought on the 21st of July, 1861. It served, however, to initiate me, and to make me impatient to see an engagement of real importance, in which I should have an opportunity to make a first-rate display of my fighting qualities. I was the more anxious for a big fight soon, as I had been placed temporarily in command of a company, the senior officer of which had been killed, and I was afraid that if a fight was long delayed I should be superseded, and should be compelled to lose my best chance of distinguishing myself. I had no occasion, however, to be afraid of a fight not coming off, for we had ample information of all the movements of the enemy, and knew that he was about to advance upon us in full force, so that the conflict was likely to begin at almost any moment. I was able, therefore, to take part in the first great battle of the war, under the best possible auspices, and to thus accomplish what had been one of the great objects of my ambition from my earliest childhood. There may have been men who did harder fighting at Bull Run than myself, but no one went through the fight with a stouter heart, or with a greater determination to behave valiantly, and, if possible, to give the enemy a sound thrashing, if only

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for the sake of affording him an idea of the magnitude of the job he had undertaken in attempting to coerce the Southern people.

BURYING THE DEAD.

        On the 18th I assisted, with the rest, to bury the dead, my boy, Bob, rendering us efficient service in the performance of this duty. When night came I was tired out, and, lying down on the bare ground, slept soundly until four o'clock the next morning. When I awoke, I was weary and sore in all my limbs through the unusual exertions I had been compelled to make, and the exposure to the hot sun in the day time, and the damp air and cold ground at night. I was not sick, however; and as I had no doubt that I should soon get used to this kind of rough life, I never thought of giving up, especially as a great battle was impending, upon taking part in which my heart was bent.

        At daybreak, on the 19th, I was in my boots, and ready to march. Passing through Ashby's Gap, we reached the little town of Piedmont, on the Manassas Gap Railroad, where we halted. On the 20th, General Johnston arrived at Manassas about noon, and was followed by two Georgia regiments and Jackson's brigade of gallant Virginians. Then came Bernard E. Bee, with the fourth Alabama regiment and the second regiment, and three companies of the eleventh regiment of Mississippians. On account of some delay, or detention on the railroad, it was now found necessary to hold a council of war, and to make some changes in the plans already aranged.

        When the troops were once more in motion, I followed Bee's line through a dense wood, as far as Sudley's Road. General Bee, at this place, appointed me a special messenger, and sent me with an order to Colonel Wheat, of the Louisiana battalion, and also to General Evans, whose command was about six hundred yards distant. Evans was an officer whom I had heard much talked of, and whom I greatly desired to see. He was commonly designated, by the officers and men, as "Shanks," and he looked very much as if the kind of liquor he was in the habit of drinking did not agree with him.

        It was well known that the Federals intended to attack us in force on Sunday, the 21st, and preparations were made to give them the right kind of a reception when they appeared. Although full of excitement at the prospect of taking part in a great battle, one that, perhaps, would enable us to secure

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the independence of the South at a single blow,--for the skirmishes in which I had thus far been engaged only seemed to whet my appetite for fighting, and to make me more than ever desirous of seeing what a really desperate-fought battle was like,--I succumbed to the fatigues I had undergone, and passed the greater part of the night, before the terrific conflict at Bull Run, in a dreamless sleep. I had fancied that sleep would be impossible to me under such circumstances; but a very little experience as a soldier was sufficient for me to be able to fall into a soldier's way of doing things, and I soon learned to take my rest as naturally and composedly upon the bare ground as if on the most downy couch, and not even the excitements and anxieties incident to an impending battle could prevent my tired eyes from closing after a long and fatiguing day passed under a broiling July sun.

THE MORNING OF THE BATTLE OF BULL RUN.

        On the morning of the day of the battle I was awake at dawn, and ready to play my part in the great drama which was about to begin; and although some of the men around me had been disposed to laugh at the efforts of the little dandified independent to get a chance to display his valor, not one of them was more eager for the fight than myself, or was more bent upon doing deeds of heroism. If I had allowed myself to be irritated by snubs from officers, who behaved as if they thought the results of the war depended upon them alone, I should have gone back to Richmond in disgust several days before the battle came off, and should have resumed the garb of my sex, with a determination never to figure as a man again. I was not to be bluffed by anybody, however; and having come thus far to see and to take a hand in a great battle, I had no thought of turning back for any cause, or under any circumstances, no matter what might be said or thought of me.

        I labored under some disadvantages in not having a regular commission, and not being attached to a regular command. This exposed me to slights that would otherwise not have been put upon me, and prevented officers, who would, under some circumstances, have gladly taken advantage of my readiness to attend faithfully to any task assigned me, to avail themselves of my services. On the other hand, my being an independent, enabled me, to a great extent, to choose my own position in the battle, and I probably, therefore, had a better

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opportunity of distinguishing myself than I should have had otherwise. I was especially bent upon showing some of them, who were disposed to smile at me on account of my petite figure and jaunty air, that I was as good a man as any one of them, and was able to face the enemy as valiantly. This I did show them before the day was over, and I was highly elated at the commendations which some of the best soldiers bestowed upon the "plucky little devil," as they called me.

        By the time it was fairly daylight, the preparations for meeting the enemy were well advanced, and the sun rose in all his majesty upon a host of men drawn up in battle array,--the brave among them anxious for the fray to begin, the cowards--and there were plenty of them in both armies,--trembling in their boots, and eager for a pretext to sneak away, and hide themselves from the coming danger. The morning was a beautiful one, although it gave promise of a sweltering day; and the scone presented to my eyes, as I surveyed the field, was one of marvellous beauty and grandeur. I cannot pretend to express in words what I felt, as I found myself one among thousands of combatants, who were about to engage in a deadly and desperate struggle. The supreme moment of my life had arrived, and all the glorious aspirations of my romantic girlhood were on the point of realization. I was elated beyond measure, although cool-headed enough, and watched the preparations going on around me with eager interest. Fear was a word I did not know the meaning of; and as I noted the ashy faces, and the trembling limbs of some of the men about me, I almost wished that I could feel a little fear, if only for the sake of sympathizing with the poor devils. I do not say this for brag, for I despise braggarts as much as I do cowards; but, in a narrative like this, the reader has a right to know what my feelings, as well as my impressions, were, upon so important an occasion as my appearance as a combatant upon the battle-field, where the Confederate troops first gave the enemy a taste of their genuine quality, and achieved their first great victory.

THE ADVANCE OF THE ENEMY.

         As the hot July sun mounted upwards through the almost cloudless sky, and the mists of the morning disappeared before his ardent beams, the approach of the enemy could be distinctly traced by the clouds of dust raised by the tramping of

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thousands of feet, and, once in a great while, the gleam of the bayonets was discerned among the heavy clumps of timber that covered the undulating plain which the commanders of the armies of the South and the North had selected for their first trial of strategy and of strength. The desultory firing with which the battle opened soon was followed by rapid volleys, and ere the morning was far advanced, the sharp rattling of the musketry, the roar of the artillery, and the yelling of the soldiers, developed into an incessant tumult; while along the entire line, for miles, arose clouds of yellow dust and blue smoke, as the desperateness of the conflict increased, and the men on either side became excited with the work they had in hand.

        It soon became apparent that the position in which fortune had placed me was to be the chief point of the Federal attack, and that my immediate comrades would be compelled to bear the brunt of the battle. The gallant Colonel Wheat was severely wounded early in the day, but he succeeded in checking the advance of the enemy, and in maintaining his position, until General Bee, on being informed of the peril he was in, advanced to the Henry House with the Alabama regiment and Imboden's artillery, and from thence crossed the valley to the support of Evans's command. The Federals were in strong force, there being, probably, fifteen thousand immediately in front of us, and they followed up their first sharp attack with some desperate fighting. The commands of Bee, Evans, and Bartow were all soon actively engaged in resisting the advance of vastly superior numbers, and had quite as much as they could attend to to do it. I attached myself to my favorite officer, Bee, and remained with his command during the entire day.

BEE ORDERS HIS MEN TO FALL BACK.

        The Federal artillery, which sent its shell showering over us, and bursting in our ranks, creating terrible slaughter, was commanded by an acquaintance of mine, Ricketts. I did the best I could to give him as good as he sent, for the sake of old times when we were friends, and when we neither of us imagined that we would some day be opposed to each other on the battle-field. The Confederates, although greatly outnumbered, succeeded for a long time in maintaining their ground, in spite of the odds against them, and again and again

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pierced through the enemy's lines. Our men suffered terribly, however, the seventh Georgia and fourth Alabama regiments, especially, being very badly cut up. At length, despite all our efforts, Bee was compelled to give the order for us to fall back, the enemy having been heavily re-enforced by the commands of Sherman and Keyes.

        The Federals, doubtless, thought that the victory was theirs when they saw us in retreat. It was a terrible moment, and my heart failed me when I heard Bee's order. I was wrought up to such a pitch of excitement, while the fight was going on, that I had no comprehension whatever of the value of the movements being made by the different commanders. I only saw the enemy before me, and was inspired by an eager desire to conquer him. I forgot that I was but a single figure in a great military scheme; and as, while we stood face to face with the foe, every man on the other side became for the moment my personal enemy, whom I was furious to overcome, so, when by the general's command, we were compelled to fall back, I was overcome with rage and indignation, and felt all the shame and mortification of a personal defeat.

"STONEWALL" Jackson.

        I soon, however, saw the object Bee had in view in his momentary retreat, when he rallied his men in the rear of a house, and gave them a breathing spell, until Wade Hampton's legion and Jackson's brigade could come to their assistance. This movement on the part of Bee afforded me an opportunity to cool off a little, and to observe the ebb and flow of the tide of battle more critically. I ere long was able to understand the general plan upon which the action was being conducted, and to view the combatants as masses to be wielded in a certain way for the accomplishment of definite objects, and not as a mere howling mob, bent only on a momentary success. From this point, therefore, the battle became more interesting than ever, and while none the less exciting, simply as a personal adventure,--for my spirit rose and sank as victory or defeat seemed likely to rest upon our banners,--I was more under the dominion of my reason, and less of my passions, than I had been when the fight commenced.

        Bee rallied his men, with a voice of thunder, saying, "My boys, at them again! Victory or death! See how Jackson stands there like a stone wall." This last expression seemed

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Illustration

OPERATIONS in UPPER VIRGINIA

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to please the men mightily, for they took it up immediately; and with a cheer for "Stonewall" Jackson, they made another dash at the enemy.

        At noon the battle was at its fiercest, and the scene was grand beyond description. The simile that came into my mind was the great Desert of Sahara, with a broiling sun overhead, and immense whirlwinds of sand rolling along over the plain between heaven and earth. The red dust from the parched and sun-dried roads arose in clouds in every direction, while the smoke from the artillery and musketry slowly floated aloft in huge, fantastic columns, marking the places where the battle was being fought with most bitterness. The dry and motionless air was choking to the nostrils, from the dust and smoke which filled it, while the pitiless July sun poured its hottest rays upon the parched and weary combatants. It was a sight never to be forgotten,--one of those magnificent spectacles that cannot be imagined, and that no description, no matter how eloquent, can do justice to. I would not have missed it for the wealth of the world, and was more than repaid for all that I had undergone, and all the risks to my person and my womanly reputation that I incurred, in being not only a spectator, but an actor, in such a sublime, living drama.

THE PINCH OF THE FIGHT.

        At the moment when Bee rallied his men for another grapple with the enemy, I would have given anything could I but have had the strength to make a clean sweep of our opponents, and, by a single blow, end the great struggle. Looking towards the hill which, in the morning, had been occupied by three of our bravest and best generals-- Beauregard, Johnston, and Bonham--and their staffs, I saw it covered with men fighting with desperation; all along the valley were dense clouds of dust and smoke, while the yells of the excited soldiery, and the roar of the guns, were almost deafening.

        Hard pressed by the greatly superior Federal force, our men at several points wavered and fell back, and at one time there was every prospect of a panic. This disgrace was spared, however, largely by the personal exertions of Beauregard and Johnston, who darted along the line, and succeeded in rallying the men, and in bringing them up to their work again. General Johnston turned the fortunes of the day by charging on the enemy, with the colors of the fourth Alabama

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regiment at his side. This was the pinch of the fight; for the enemy were bearing down upon us with a large force of infantry, cavalry, and artillery, and the personal example of Generals Beauregard, Johnston, and other prominent officers, who plunged into the thickest of the mêlée, had an immense effect in encouraging the men to resist to the last, no matter what the odds against them might be.

        The fiercer the conflict grew the more my courage rose. The example of my commanders, the desire to avenge my slaughtered comrades, the salvation of the cause which I had espoused, all inspired me to do my utmost; and no man on the field that day fought with more energy or determination than the woman who figured as Lieutenant Harry T. Buford.

        At two o'clock the right of Beauregard's line was ordered to advance--with the exception of the reserves--to recover the plateau, for the possession of which both armies had been fiercely contending. Stonewall Jackson succeeded in piercing the enemy's centre, but his troops suffered terribly in doing so. Bee, while leading his fourth Alabama regiment in a charge, fell mortally wounded about a hundred yards from the Henry House. Fifty yards farther north, Bartow was shot, and was caught, as he fell from his horse, by General Gartrell, then commanding the 7th Georgia, and by his order carried to the rear. His last words were, "Boys, I am killed; but don't give up the field." Colonel Fisher, of the sixth North Carolina regiment, was also among the killed. He was a noble fellow. The conflict now became more bitter than ever, and at one time it seemed that we should be compelled to succumb to the fierce attacks which the enemy were making against us. At this crisis, a courier came up to me with a message for General Johnston, to the effect that the Federals had reached the line of the Manassas Gap Railroad, and were marching on us with a heavy force. Had this information been correct, it would have been all up with us. Fortunately, however, the advancing troops were those of Kirby Smith, and consisted of about two thousand infantry and Beekman's artillery. The arrival of this force decided the fate of the battle, and the Federals fled, defeated, from the field, while our army fell back to Manassas Junction.

        After the battle, I appealed to General Jackson for the promotion which I considered that I had fully earned, and he gave me a recommendation to General Bragg for a recruiting commission. This I did not care about, for I thought that I

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did not need his permission or his aid to do recruiting duty, and determined to wait and see if something better would not offer. I accordingly remained for some time with my acquaintances of the fifth and eighth Louisiana regiment, hoping that another battle would come off at an early day. Finding, however, that there was no prospect of a fight very soon, and becoming tired of inactivity, I determined to return to Richmond, for the purpose of seeing whether it was not possible for me to find some work to do suited to my abilities.

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CHAPTER VIII.

AFTER THE BATTLE.

        Erroneous Ideas about the War.--Some of the Effects of the Battle of Bull Run.--The Victory not in all Respects a Benefit to the Cause of the Confederacy.--Undue Elation of Soldiers and Civilians.--Richmond demoralized.--A Quarrel with a drunken Officer.--An Insult resented. --I leave Richmond.--Prospect of another Battle.--Cutting a Dash in Leesburg.--A little love Affair.--Stern Parents.--A clandestine Meeting.--Love's young Dream.--Disappointed Affections.--In Front of the Enemy once more.--A Battle expected to come off.

        I HAVE remarked in a previous chapter with regard to the men belonging to the battalion which I recruited in Arkansas, that they seemed to be under the idea that they were going on a pleasant holiday excursion, rather than that they were engaging in a very serious business, which would demand all their energies, if the object they had in view was to be secured. I frankly confess that I was not altogether free from the feeling which prevailed, not merely with the young fellows like my Arkansas recruits, who were glad of any pretext for getting away from their rather dismal surroundings, and who thought that fighting the Yankees would be good fun, but with all classes of society. The expression constantly heard, that one Southerner could whip five Yankees, was not mere bounce, but it really represented what nearly everybody thought; and very few had any doubt as to the speedy end of the conflict that had been begun, or that it would end in the recognition of Southern independence. It took time to convince our people that they had no holiday task to perform; but the difficulty of effectively forcing the Federal lines, in spite of victories won by Confederate

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arms in the field, combined with the privations caused by the constantly increasing efficiency of the blockade, at length compelled all classes of people at the South to realize the fact that they had a tough job on their hands, and that if they expected to obtain their independence it would be necessary for them to work, and to work hard for it.

        In many respects, the victory at Bull Run was anything but a benefit to the South. The panic which overtook the Federal soldiers, so far from communicating itself to the people of the North, only inspired them with a determination to wipe out the disgrace, and they hurried men to the front with such rapidity and in such numbers, that they soon had a force in the field which compelled the Confederates to act upon the defensive, and to think about the means of resisting invasion instead of attempting to assume the aggressive. On the other hand, not only the men who fought at Bull Run, but the whole South, were greatly elated at having won the first great battle; and, overestimating the importance of their victory, they were more than ever impressed with the idea that whipping the Yankees was a remarkable easy thing to do.

RELAXATION IN DISCIPLINE.

        The result of all this was, that discipline in the army, instead of being kept up to the best standard, was relaxed, and hundreds of good fighting men, who thought that the war was virtually over, were permitted to go home, while many others lounged round the camps, or went to Richmond, for the purpose of having a good time, when they ought to have been following up their success by further blows at the enemy.

        It is easy enough now to see the mistakes that were made, and any narrative of the war would be incomplete were not some note made of them. I do not pretend, however, that I was any wiser at the time them other people, or that I had any better appreciation of the magnitude of the task we had before us. Experience is a bitter teacher; and Experience in this case was too late in giving her instructions for it to do any good.

        As for myself, I was just like hundreds of other young officers, eager to fight as much for the excitement of the thing as anything else; but having little comprehension of the real situation, or the gigantic obstacles which stood in the way of the realization of our hopes, I chafed at the inactivity which

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followed the battle of Bull Run, hoping for another engagement which would enable me to display my valor, but was disposed to have as good a time as was possible while the thing lasted, whether any fighting was going on or not.

        The victory at Bull Run, while it elated the whole Southern people, and very greatly excited their hopes and expectations, was most demoralizing to Richmond, to which city the capital of the Confederacy had been removed a short time before the battle came off. Crowds of soldiers, officers, and privates thronged the streets, when they ought to have been on duty in the field; while innumerable adventurers, male and female, were attracted to the seat of government in the hope of making something out of the war, careless of what happened so long as they were able to fill their pockets. Money was plenty, entirely too plenty, and the drinking-saloons, gambling-houses, and worse resorts, reaped a rich harvest. For a time all went merrily; but after a while, as month after month wore away, and no substantial fruits of our brilliant victory were reaped, and the prospect of a severe contest became every day more decided, those who, like myself, had their hearts in the cause, began to be impatient and disgusted at the inactivity that prevailed, and were disposed to do a good deal of growling. I confess that I enjoyed the excitement of life in Richmond at this period hugely for a time, but I soon had enough of it, and was glad to get away.

        After the battle of Bull Run I did as much tall talking as anybody, and swaggered about in fine style, sporting my uniform for the admiration of the ladies, and making myself agreeable to them in a manner that excited the envy of the men, and raised me immensely in my own esteem; for I began to pride myself as much upon being a successful lady's man as upon being a valiant soldier.

A LITTLE UNPLEASANTNESS.

        The only adventure of any consequence that I had in Richmond, however, was a difficulty with a lieutenant, who started a quarrel with me without the slightest provocation on my part, and who, finding me apparently indisposed to have any words with him, seemed to think that he could insult me with impunity. I stood a good bit of insolence from him on account of his being in liquor, and endeavored to avoid him. As I was much smaller than himself, and so evidently

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unwilling to quarrel, he probably thought that it was a good opportunity to air the spirit of blackguardism, which is the strongest characteristic of some people, and persisted in following me up. At length I could not stand his insolence any longer, and to put a stop to it slapped his face. He evidently had not expected anything of this kind, for he seemed stunned for a moment, while I walked off, determined to take no further notice of him, unless absolutely compelled to do so. When he recovered himself he gave me a volley of abuse, and threatened to shoot me; but, fortunately for himself, a friend who had seen the encounter stepped up, and taking him in charge, prevented him from making a fool of himself any further. I thought that perhaps he might attempt to revenge himself in some way for the indignity I had put upon him, but he doubtless came to the conclusion that this was a case where discretion was the better part of valor, and so prudently kept out of my way. I never saw his homely visage again, although I every day appeared in the most public places, where he would have had no difficulty in finding me if he had desired to.

ONE OF CUPID'S MISTAKES.

        Not being successful in getting the kind of appointment I desired at Richmond, I concluded to try my luck elsewhere. I went to Danville, and remained a couple of days, and on my return to Richmond obtained a pass and transportation for the West. When I got as far as Lynchburg, however, I changed my mind, owing to meeting some of the boys from Leesburg, who persuaded me to go there with them, as there was every prospect of another fight coming off soon. This suited me exactly, and to Leesburg I accordingly went, with a full determination to take a hand in a battle if one did come off. The fight did occur, although not so soon as I expected or wished, and I played my part in it as successfully as I had done at Bull Run. In the mean time, however, I splurged around Leesburg in fine style, and enjoyed myself immensely, being quite as successful as I had been in other places in winning the regards of the members of my own sex, not one of whom appeared to have the slightest suspicion that I was other than I pretended to be.

        One young lady in particular, Miss E., showed a marked regard for me; and as she was a very charming girl, our acquaintance would probably have developed into a decided

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attachment, had I not been sailing under false colors. I was sorry that I could not reciprocate, in a proper manner, the very evident partiality she displayed towards me; and I more than half regretted that I permitted matters to go as far as I did, when I found what an impression I was making on her susceptible heart. It was necessary for me to sustain the character I had assumed, of a dashing young officer; and, situated as I was, it was important that I should make myself as agreeable as possible to the members of my own sex. Apart from this, however, much of the male society into which I was thrown was so very disagreeable to me, that I was glad to escape from it by seeking that of lady friends. It afforded me some amusement, too, to carry on a bit of a flirtation with a nice girl; and I was very much tempted to entertain myself in this manner, without reflecting very deeply as to the consequences. I am very willing to admit that I ought not to have acted as I did in this, and some other similar cases; and if anything should occur to induce me to assume male attire again, I should carefully avoid making love to young ladies, unless I had occasion to do so for the immediate furtherance of my plans. My error in allowing myself to indulge in flirtations with my own sex, arose from thoughtlessness, and from a desire to play my part to the best advantage; and I am sure my readers will forgive me, as I hope the youug ladies, whom I induced to indulge false expectations, will, when the publication of this narrative makes known to the world the whole truth about the identity of Lieutenant Harry T. Buford, C. S. A.

A COOL RECEPTION.

        I met Miss E., by accident, in a store, and she was introduced to me by a youug dry goods clerk, with whom I had struck up an acquaintance. After a little conversation on indifferent subjects, she gave me a very pressing invitation to call on her. I said that I would do myself the honor, and accordingly put in an appearance, dressed in my best, at her residence. She received me with many smiles and with great cordiality, and introduced me to her father and mother. As I noticed that the old people were rather inclined to be a little cool, and evidently did not regard me with overmuch favor, I cut short my visit, and, politely bowing myself out, determined, in my own mind, never to enter the house again.

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        Had I been a man, the conduct of the parents would probably have spurred me to court the favor of the daughter with more pertinacity than ever. I have noticed that parental opposition to a young man generally has this sort of stimulating effect upon him; but, being a woman, I did not look at the thing exactly from a masculine point of view, and, as the French say, Le jeu n'en valait pas la chandelle.

        I was sufficiently piqued, however, to accept any advances the young lady might make with some degree of favor, and to revenge myself upon the old people, by making myself intensely agreeable to the daughter, in spite of them. When Miss E., therefore, showed a very marked disposition to continue our acquaintance, I was quite ready to meet her half way.

        The next day I met her on the street, and she, with a pleasant smile, said, "I hope that you were not offended last night."

        "Certainly not," said I. "Why should I be? Nothing has happened to offend me;" just as if I had not noticed the behavior of her parents.

        "O, yes, there has," she answered. "Pa did not behave at all polite to you; but then he treats all the young men who come to see me in the same way, so you must not mind him."

        She then informed me that, if I wished, I could see her at her cousin's; and as she seemed to be exceed anxious to have me call upon her again, I consented to do so. As we walked up the street together she pointed out her cousin's house, and I made an appointment to meet her there the next day, at five o'clock. I then went with her to within a short distance of her home, but declined to go to the door; not that I cared for what the old folks might say or think, but because I thought that perhaps she might get a scolding.

        On parting with my little lady, I went immediately to a livery stable, and, hiring a team, ordered my boy Bob to drive past Miss E.'s home, for the sake of showing the old gentleman what kind of style I could put on. Then going to the dry goods store, I took my friend, the clerk, out with me for a turn around the town, but did not inform him with regard to what had occurred between the young lady and myself.

        I was punctual in keeping my appointment with Miss E.; and whether it was that my stylish team had impressed her imagination, or that it was really a case of love at first sight,

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she was even more cordial in her manner towards me than on the previous occasions when we had met.

        She asked me innumerable questions about myself, where I was from, who were my parents, and seemed to be particularly anxious to find out all about me.

        I made up a story that I thought was suited to the occasion and the auditor; and, among other things, told her that I was the son of a millionnaire, that I had joined the army for the fun of the thing, and that I was paying my own expenses.

        This seemed to make a great impression, on her; and, with a very significant smile, she said she wished that the war would soon end, and that I would settle permanently in Leesburg. This was a rather broad hint, and I could scarcely refrain from laughing at it; but restraining myself, and keeping my countenance straight, I asked, "Why do you take such a fancy to me, Miss E., when there are so many elegant, accomplished, and wealthy young men in Leesburg, with whom you have been acquainted for a long time? You know nothing whatever of me."

        "It won't be hard for us to become better acquainted," she replied.

        "Well," said I, "I don't want to deceive you; but the fact is, I am as good as married already;" and producing a young lady's photograph, which I had in my pocket, added, "I expect to be married to this lady as soon as the war is over."

AN EMBARRASSING SITUATION.

        She turned pale at this, and the tears sprang to her eyes, while I could not but feel regret at having permitted the matter to go thus far. For a time neither of us spoke; and at length, to put an end to a scene that was becoming embarrassing to both of us, I arose, and, extending my hand, said that I must bid her good evening.

        She looked at me in a pitiable sort of way, and said, "Will I never see you again?"

        I answered that she might, if I was not killed, but a battle was expected shortly, and it was my intention to take part in it. I then said adieu, and precipitately left her, not feeling altogether comfortable about the affair; but judging, as a woman, that the young lady would, before a great while, find herself heart-whole, and be none the worse for having permitted

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herself to become unduly interested in Lieutenant Harry T. Buford.

        So ended my Leesburg flirtation; and a desire to avoid meeting Miss E. again, at least until she had had time to recover her equanimity, as well as my eager wish to see some more fighting, induced me to leave the town as soon as possible.

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CHAPTER IX.

THE BATTLE OF BALL'S BLUFF.

        An Appetite for Fighting.--The Sensations of the Battle-Field.-- My Second Battle.--The Conflict at Ball's Bluff.--My Arrival at General Evans's Headquarters.--Meeting an old Acquaintance.-- Hospitalities of the Camp.--The Morning of the Battle.-- Commencement of the Fight.--A fierce Struggle.--In Charge of a Company.--A suspicious Story.--Bob figures as a Combatant.-- Rout of the Enemy. --The Federals driven over the Bluff into the River.--I capture some Prisoners.--A heart-rending Spectacle. --Escape of Colonel Devens, of the Fifteenth Massachusetts Regiment, by swimming across the River.--Sinking of the Boats with the wounded Federals in them.--Night, and the End of the Battle.

        IT might be supposed that one battle would have been enough for me, and that after having seen, as at Bull Run, the carnage incident to a desperate conflict between thousands of infuriated combatants, I should have been glad to have abandoned a soldiers career, and to have devoted myself to the service of the Confederacy in some other capacity than that of a fighter. Indeed, it so turned out, that the most efficient services I did perform in behalf of the cause which I espoused, were other than those of a strictly military character, although quite as important as any rendered by the bravest fighters when standing face to face to the enemy. But it was, in a measure, due to necessity rather than to original choice, that I undertook work of a different kind from that which I had in my mind when first donning my uniform. We are all of us, more or less, the creatures of circumstances; and when I saw that the fact of my being a woman would enable me to play another rôle from that which I had at first intended, I did not hesitate, but readily accepted what Fate had to offer.

        The battle of Bull Run, however, only quickened my ardor to participate in another affair of a similar kind, and the months of enforced inaction, which succeeded that battle, had

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the effect of making me long, with exceeding eagerness, to experience again the excitement which thrilled me on the sultry July day, when the army of the Confederacy won its first great victory. The sensations which, on the battle-field, overcome a soldier who knows nothing of fear, can only be compared to those of a gambler who is playing for enormous stakes. The more noble origin of the emotions experienced in the one case over those excited by the other does not prevent them from being essentially similar, although the gambler, who is staking his all on the turn of a card, can know little or nothing of the glorious excitement of the soldier engaged in a deadly conflict with an enemy, and feeling that its issue depends upon his putting forth his utmost exertions, and that determined valor can alone secure him the victory.

THE PLEASURES OF FIGHTING.

        The sensations of a soldier in the thick of a fight baffle description; and, as his hopes rise or sink with the ebb and flow of the battle, as he sees comrades falling about him dead and wounded, hears the sharp hiss of the bullets, the shrieking of the shells, the yells of the soldiers on each side as they smite each other, there is a positive enjoyment in the deadly perils of the occasion that nothing can equal.

        At Bull Run, it so happened that I was placed where the fight was hottest, where the enemy made his most determined attacks, where the soldiers of the South made their most desperate resistance, and where, for hours, the fate of the battle trembled in the balance. When at length victory crowned our banners, the enemy fled from the field, and we saw no more of them, and desperate as was the fight, it was, notwithstanding the great number of killed and wounded, unattended with the peculiar horrors, the mere thought of which is calculated to send a shudder through the strongest nerves.

        The second battle in which I participated--that at Ball's Bluff--was accompanied by every circumstance of horror; and although in the excitement of the moment, when every faculty of mind and body was at extreme tension, and I was only inspired with an intense eagerness to do my whole duty for my cause, I did not fully realize the enormities of such a slaughter as was involved in the defeat of the Federals at that place, I have never been able to think of it without a shudder, notwithstanding that I have fought on more than one

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bloody field since. Such scenes, however, are inseparable from warfare, and those who take up arms must steel themselves against them.

IN THE FIELD ONCE MORE.

        It was the 10th of October, 1861, when I left Leesburg and went to the headquarters of General Evans, where I met quite a number of acquaintances, and was received with great cordiality by them. A young officer of the eighteenth Mississippi regiment invited me to take up my quarters with him; but as I had all my camp equipage with me, I preferred setting up my own tent. Seeking General Evans, I showed him my papers, and asked to be employed. He accordingly sent me to Colonel Burt, of the eighth Virginia regiment, who, however, told me that as he had no vacancy in his command, he could do nothing for me. I had no other resource now but to await events, and see what should turn up in my favor, feeling a little disappointed at not being able to become attached definitely to some command, but with ample confidence in my own ability to take care of myself, and to find some means of having a hand in the expected battle, whenever it came off.

A FRIEND OF MY YOUTH.

        At Hunton's headquarters I had the pleasure of meeting Colonel Featherstone, of the seventeenth Mississippi regiment. This fine officer I had known when I was quite a small child, and I was decidedly amused at the idea of renewing my acquaintance with him under existing circumstances. He had not the shadow of an idea that the dashing little lieutenant who stood before him was a woman whom he had known as a child. He, however, took a very polite interest in me, and asked where I was from, and a variety of other questions, which I had to draw rather extensively upon my imagination to answer in proper style. I told him that I belonged to Mississippi, and a good deal more of the same kind of fiction, which, if not quite as interesting as the truth would have been, was sufficiently satisfying for the moment.

        After we had chatted a little while, Colonel Featherstone invited me over to his tent, and handing out a bottle of whiskey, told me to help myself.

        "No, thank you, colonel," I said; "I never drink anything

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strong; it does not agree with me, and I accordingly make it a rule not to touch it."

        He did not urge me when he noticed that I was very positive in declining; but pouring out a sizable one for himself, said, "Well, a drink of the right kind of liquor, now and then, is a pretty good thing, I think. Here's my regards;"--and, nodding towards me, he swallowed it at a gulp, without winking an eye.

        He then said, "Lieutenant, you can turn in here if you wish, if you have not been assigned to quarters. You are welcome to all I have, and can make yourself at home."

        I thanked him, and said that there was, fortunately, no necessity for trespassing on his hospitality. Whereupon he said, "If you won't stop with me, come in and see me often. I will be glad to talk to you."

        Thanking him again for his kindness, I said good-night, and went over to my own tent, where I found Bob sound asleep. Arousing him, I ordered him to be up by three o'clock in the morning, and to cook plenty of provisions, as we expected something to happen. The darkey knew very well that I meant a fight was probably coming off soon; but by this time he had tolerably well gotten over his first scare, and was beginning to find enjoyment in the excitements of warfare, as well as myself. He grinned, and promised compliance with my order, and I lay down to sleep, convinced from what I had heard during the evening, that my desire to participate in another battle was likely to be gratified very soon.

THE BATTLE OF BALL'S BLUFF.

        The next morning, October 22, I was up, and ready for whatever might happen, at an early hour. Having learned that a large force of the enemy, belonging to the command of Colonel Baker, had succeeded in crossing at Edwards' Ferry, and had gained the Bluffs, prompt preparations were made to give them a warm reception.

        The brigade under the command of General Evans consisted of four regiments,--the eighth Virginia, and the thirteenth, seventeenth, and eighteenth Mississippi, which were respectively commanded by Colonels Hunton, Burt, Featherstone, and Barksdale. The first brunt of the fight was borne by Lieutenant Colonel Janifer, who, with five companies, was covering the approach to Leesburg.

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OPERATIONS IN NORTH EASTERN VIRGINIA, MARYLAND AND PENNSYLVANIA

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        About twelve o'clock, the eighth Virginia regiment advanced to Janifer's assistance, and this, I saw, was my chance if I wished to participate in the battle. My darkey had his fighting blood up too, and was, apparently, as anxious as I was to have a crack at the enemy; for, he said, "Give me a gun, Mas' Harry. I want to shoot, too."

        "You'll have a chance to do some fighting pretty soon, Bob, if I am not mistaken," said I, as we pushed forward as fast as we could in the direction of the firing, which became more rapid every moment.

        Immediately on top of the Bluff, where the enemy had succeeded in effecting a landing, and for some distance back, there was a tolerably open piece of ground, cut up somewhat by ridges and hollows, and surrounded by a thick growth of woods. This timber for a while concealed the combatants from each other, and it was impossible for us to tell what force we were contending with. The woods seemed to be alive with combatants, and it was thought that the enemy was strongly fortified. Notwithstanding the uncertainties with regard to the number of our opponents, we attacked with spirit, and for a time the fight was bravely carried on by both armies. The enemy certainly fought exceedingly well, especially considering the precariousness of their position, although, of course, we did not know at the time the attack was made that our foes were in such a desperate predicament.

        Colonel Burt, with his eighteenth Mississippi regiment, advanced to the attack on the left of our line, while Janifer and the Virginians held the centre. Burt's Mississippians were compelled to undergo a most terrific fire from the enemy, who were concealed in the hollows, but they succeeded in holding them in check, although they suffered severely, and Colonel Burt himself was numbered among the slain before the victory was won.

THE FIGHT AT ITS HOTTEST.

        At three o'clock, Colonel Featherstone came up with his regiment, and advanced at a double-quick to the assistance of Burt. The firing now became general all along the line, and the men on both sides seemed to be disposed to fight with the utmost fury. I thought the struggle at Bull Run a desperate one, but that battle at its fiercest did not begin to equal this; and when finally we did succeed in routing the enemy, I experienced a sense of satisfaction and relief that was overwhelming.

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        For three weary hours the fighting continued without intermission; and although for a long while the result was dubious, at length, as the chilly October day was about closing, the enemy having lost a great number of men and officers, including Colonel Baker, and being hemmed in on three sides, were driven in confusion into the river.

        Shortly after the fight commenced, I took charge of a company which had lost all its officers, and I do not think that either my men or myself failed to do our full duty. Perhaps, if I had been compelled to manoeuvre my command in the open field, I might not have done it as skilfully as some others would, although I believe that I could have played the part of a captain quite as well as a good many of them who held regular commissions as commanders of companies, and a good deal better than some others who aspired to be officers before learning the first rudiments of their business, and without having the pluck to conduct themselves before the enemy in a manner at all correspondent to their braggart style of behavior when not smelling gunpowder under compulsion. In this battle, however, fighting as we were for the most part in the woods, there was little or no manoeuvring to be done, and my main duties were to keep the men together, and to set them an example. This latter I certainly did.

        After the battle was over, the first lieutenant of the company which I was commanding came in and relieved me, stating that he had been taken prisoner, but had succeeded in making his escape in the confusion incident to the Federal defeat. I did not say anything, but had my very serious doubts as to the story which he told being the exact truth. He had a very sheepish look, as if he was ashamed of himself for playing a sneaking, cowardly trick; and I shall always believe that when the firing commenced, he found an opportunity to slink away to the rear for the purpose of getting out of the reach of danger.

        I have seen a good many officers like this one, who were brave enough when strutting about in the streets of cities and villages, showing themselves off in their uniforms to the women, or when airing their authority in camp, by bullying the soldiers under them, but who were the most arrant cowards under fire, and who ought to have been court-marshalled and shot, instead of being permitted to disgrace their uniforms, and to demoralize their men, by their dastardly behavior when in the face of the enemy. My colored boy Bob was a better

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soldier than some of the white men who thought themselves immensely his superiors; and having possessed himself of a gun, he fought as well as he knew how, like the rest of us. When the enemy gave way, I could hear Bob yelling vociferously; and I confess that I was proud of the darkey's pluck and enthusiasm.

THE ENEMY PUT TO FLIGHT.

        The daylight was beginning to fail, when, at length, the enemy broke, and ran towards the river, a confused mob of fugitives, instead of an organized and disciplined army. I was so wearied that I could scarcely stand. But at this moment I would rather have died than have faltered. All my Southern blood was stirred in my veins, and however little my help might be, I was resolved to give it to complete the victory.

        The yells of triumph that broke from our boys, as they saw their foes flying before them, were terrific; and they rushed after them, pursuing them through the woods, and over the open ground, to the very edge of the Bluff. General Evans gave orders to drive them into the river, or to capture them; and every officer and man seemed animated by a determination to make the defeat of the enemy as signal as possible. I advanced my company, in compliance with Evans's orders, until we neared the river, when I called a halt; saying, as I did so, to the boys, "This is warm work, but they are badly whipped, I think."

        Looking under me into a little ravine, I espied a Yankee sergeant reaching for a musket, evidently with the intention of treating me to its contents. Levelling a pistol at him, I cried out, "No, you don't! Drop that, and come up here, you scoundrel!"

        He obeyed in very short order; and when he had reached me, I said, "What do you mean by that? If it wasn't for having the name of murdering a prisoner, I would shoot you."

        He answered, sullenly, "I don't care a d--n whether you do or not;" and I don't believe that he did care much, just then, for he evidently felt badly at having been defeated.

        While talking with this prisoner, a number of other fugitives were discovered hid in the gulleys, whom I immediately captured.

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        "To what command do you belong?" I asked.

        They told me that they belonged to the fifteenth Massachusetts regiment, but that the army was under the command of General Stone.

HORRIBLE INCIDENTS.

        At the point where I stood the Potomac River was very wide, and it presented a sight such as I prayed that I might never behold again. The enemy were literally driven down the Bluff, and into the river, and crowds of them were floundering in the water, and grappling with death. This horrible spectacle made me shudder; for, although they were my foes, they were human beings, and my heart must have been hard, indeed, could it not have felt for their sufferings. I was willing to fight them to death's door in the open field, and to ask no favors, taking the same chances for life as they had; but I had no heart for their ruthless slaughter. All the woman in me revolted at the fiendish delight which some of our soldiers displayed at the sight of the terrible agony endured by those who had, but a short time before, been contesting the field with them so valiantly, and I could scarcely refrain from making some decisive effort to put a stop to the carnage, and to relieve my suffering foes. For the first time since putting on my uniform I was thrown off my guard, and should certainly have done something to betray my secret had I not fortunately restrained myself in time. Such scenes as these, however, are inseparable from warfare, and they must be endured by those who adopt a soldier's career. The pitiable spectacles which followed our brilliant victory at Ball's Bluff, however, had the effect of satisfying my appetite for fighting for a time; and after it was all over, I was by no means as anxious for another battle, as I had been after the victory at Bull Run.

        I have not the ability to give a minute description of the horrid incidents attending the rout of the Federals at Ball's Bluff, even if I had the disposition. As this battle, however, was an important event in my military career, and as it made a very painful impression upon me, some account, even if a very meagre one, of one of the most striking features of the affair, seems to be necessary in order to make my narrative complete.

        When the enemy broke before the galling fire which we poured into them, they stampeded for the river, a disordered

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and panic-stricken crowd. Over the Bluff they went, pell-mell, leaping, rolling, and tumbling, more like a herd of frightened buffalo fleeing from the savages of the plains, than human beings, hundreds being shot down while attempting to cross, and hundreds of others being captured before they could gain the river. I was sick with horror; and as the cold shivers ran through me, and my heart stood still in my bosom, I shut my eyes for a moment, wishing that it was all over, but only to open them again to gaze on a spectacle that had a terrible fascination for me, in spite of its horrors.

ESCAPE OF COLONEL DEVENS.

        Directly, one of the prisoners whom I was guarding, shouted, "There goes my colonel!"

        "What is his name?" I inquired.

        "Colonel Devens, of the fifteenth Massachusetts regiment," he replied, as he pointed to a figure striking out in an attempt to swim across the river.

        I said, "I hope the poor fellow will get safely to land, for he has fought bravely, and deserves a better fate than a watery grave."

        Colonel Devens, it appears, in the confusion got separated from his men, and seeing no chance of rallying them, or of doing anything to turn the tide of defeat, had, when all hope of ever effecting an orderly retreat was gone, sought to save himself in the desperate manner I have indicated. He was, apparently, a powerful swimmer, for he was soon out of musket-shot, and I believe he managed to gain the other shore. He had my best wishes in the attempt at any rate, for I have not a cruel or vindictive nature, and at this time my womanly sympathies were being awakened in the liveliest manner.

        When the rout began, there was but one boat in the river, and this was quickly filled with a struggling mass of humanity, each man being intent only on making good his own escape from the deadly fire of the Confederates. On the bank, a dense crowd of fugitives were throwing away their arms, and divesting themselves of their clothing, some of them, apparently, resolved to save themselves, like Colonel Devens, by swimming. A large number of those who plunged into the river were drowned in the icy waters, and the shrieks of these poor fellows fairly appalled me as I heard them, and rang in my ears for days afterwards.

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        Our men had orders to keep up a fire from the Bluff, and only too many seemed to delight in the bloody work, as they poured volley after volley into the fugitives. On my left, a Federal captain came charging up the hill at the head of his men, apparently not aware of the full extent of the disaster which had befallen his comrades. As soon, however, as he reached a place where he could survey the field, he saw plainly that it was useless to attempt further resistance, and so he raised a white flag, and surrendered himself and command.

        I fired my revolver at another officer--a major, I believe-- who was in the act of jumping into the river. I saw him spring into the air, and fall; and then turned my head away, shuddering at what I had done, although I believed that it was only my duty. An officer near me exclaimed, "Lieutenant, your ball took him;"--words that sent a thrill of horror through me.

        The most awful episode of the day was the sinking of the boats containing the wounded and dying; and from this I turned away, sick at heart, unable to endure the sight of it.

        So ended the battle of Ball's Bluff; and the soldiers of the Confederacy had won another great victory, although at a terrible sacrifice; for many of our bravest officers and men were slain, and a great number severely wounded. I had the satisfaction of knowing that I had done my duty, and had fought as bravely as the bravest. It cost me a pang to think of the noble fellows who fell in defence of the cause they loved, and I particularly mourned the death of the gallant Colonel Burt. I had regrets, too, for the foemen who were so ruthlessly slaughtered, and would willingly have spared them had it been in my power to do so. There were, I think, about nineteen hundred men engaged at Ball's Bluff on the Confederate side, and six pieces of artillery. Exactly how many the Federals had I do not know, but their numbers were certainly equal to ours, if not greater.

        When night finally closed upon the battle-field, and put an end to the carnage, I was completely used up by the fatigues and excitements of the day, and not even the terrible scenes which haunted me in my mind's eye, long after I had ceased to gaze upon them, could prevent me from dropping into a sound and dreamless sleep.

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CHAPTER X.

FIRST EXPERIENCES AS A SPY.

        Reaction after the Excitements of a Battle.--The Necessity for mental and bodily Occupation.--I form a new Project.--War as we imagine it, and as it is.--Fighting not the only Thing to be done.--The Dreams of Youth, and the Realities of Experience.--The Secret of Success.--The Difficulties which the Confederate Commanders experienced in obtaining Information of the Movements of the Enemy.-- What a Woman can do that a Man cannot.--A Visit to Mrs. Tyree.-- The only Way of keeping a Secret.--I assume the Garments of my own Sex again as a Disguise.--Getting across the Potomac at Night.-- Asleep in a Wheat-Stack.--A suspicious Farmer.--A Friend in Need. --Maryland Hospitality.--Off for Washington.

        OF too restless and impulsive a disposition to endure patiently the prolonged inaction which seemed inevitable after a battle, it fretted me to be obliged to lounge about camp, or to participate in the too often most demoralizing amusements of the city, as I had been compelled to do for many weeks after the fight at Bull Run. I was disgusted, too, at the difficulties which presented themselves at every step whenever I attempted to get myself attached to a regular command, or to be assigned for the kind of service which I felt best qualified to perform, and which was most in accordance with my tastes. It was an absolute necessity for me to be in motion, to be doing something, and the slow and inconclusive progress of the military movements annoyed me beyond expression. The inevitable reaction, after the intense excitements of the battle of Ball's Bluff, caused a depression of spirits which I felt I must do something to shake off. The terrible sights and sounds of that battle haunted me night and day, for I could not help thinking of them, and the more I thought of them the more horrible they appeared.

        I determined, therefore, very shortly after the battle, to put

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into execution a project I had for some time been meditating, which would require the exercise of all my faculties, and which would give me constant employment for mind and body, such as the routine of camp life did not afford, and which would compel me to concentrate my mind on the invention and execution of plans for the achievement of definite results for the cause of Southern independence.

        Before entering upon the career of a soldier, I of course knew a great deal about military life, having been the wife of an army officer, and having resided at frontier stations, but I had nevertheless very crude and superficial notions about the exigencies of warfare. My ideas, however, were no cruder than those of thousands of others, for it is very doubtful whether any but a few veterans understood what would have to be gone through with by soldiers in the field, especially when large armies were operating against each other over an immense stretch of country.

        The books I had read, in which the doings of heroes and heroines were recorded, devoted a large space to the description of battles, and these, as a matter of course, being more interesting and exciting than the other portions, it was only natural, perhaps, that the notion should become fixed in my mind that fighting was a soldier's chief, if not only employment.

ROMANCE AND REALITY.

        I was soon disillusioned on these points, and, after a very brief experience, discovered that actual warfare was far different from what I had supposed it would be. Neither of the battles in which I had thus far been engaged impressed me at all as I had expected they would, although, in some particulars, they were agreeable disappointments; for there was an exhilaration in an actual, hotly-contested fight that far surpassed anything my imagination had pictured. Battles, however, I found were likely to be few and far between, while there were thousands of disagreeable incidents connected with military life which I had never suspected, and of which my husband's warnings had scarcely given me the slightest hint. The inaction of the camp, when one is day after day hoping and half expecting something startling will happen, only to be subjected to perpetual disappointment, and the dull round of camp duties, and the trivial devices adopted to kill time, after a very brief period become most oppressive.

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        Not only did I discover that fighting was not the only, or the most frequent, employment of the soldier, but I soon awakened to the fact that, in a great war, like the one in which I was now taking part, it was not always the men who wore the uniforms and handled the muskets who performed the most efficient services. As there were other things besides fighting to do, so there must be other than soldiers to perform necessary portions of the work, and to aid in advancing the interests of the cause.

DREAMS OF DELUSION.

        Many of our hopes, anticipations, and aspirations are mere dreams of delusion, which can have no practical fulfilment in this working-day world, and it sometimes costs a pang to dismiss forever a cherished but mistaken idea, and to weave our own web of romance from the parti-colored threads of commonplace reality; it is like parting with a portion of our own being. But, the illusion once dispelled, we are able to step forward more firmly and more resolutely, to act the part which the will of Providence assigns us to play in the great drama of life.

        We may regret that the dreams of our youth do not come true, just as we once loved to hope that they would, almost without endeavor on our part; but who shall say that our own life romances, woven out of the tissues of events from day to day, with much labor, doubt, and pain, are not fairer and brighter than any imagination could create? It is good to do one's duty quietly amid the rush of great events, even when the path of duty lies in hidden places, where the gaze of the crowd penetrates not, where applause cannot follow; and one's own satisfaction at duty well and nobly performed, is, after all, the best recompense that can be had.

        To be a second Joan of Arc was a mere girlish fancy, which my very first experiences as a soldier dissipated forever; and it did not take me long to discover that I needed no model, but that, to win success in the career I had chosen, I must be simply myself, and not a copy, even in the remotest particular, of anybody else; and that the secret of success consisted in watching the current of events, and in taking advantage of circumstances as they arose.

        In a life so novel as that I was now leading, however, it took me some time to become sufficiently informed to be able

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to do anything effective in the way of shaping my career; I was, of necessity, obliged to go ahead somewhat at random, and to wait and learn, not only what I could do with the best effect, but what there was for me to do. In assuming the garb of a soldier, I had no other idea than to do a soldier's duty: this was my ambition, and I scarcely gave thought to anything else. The experiences of actual warfare, however, soon had the effect of convincing me that a woman like myself, who had a talent for assuming disguises, and who, like me, was possessed of courage, resolution, and energy, backed up by a ready wit, a plausible address, and attractive manners, had it in her power to perform many services of the most vital importance, which it would be impossible for a man to even attempt.

DIFFICULTIES IN OBTAINING INFORMATION.

        The difficulty which our commander experienced in gaining accurate and thoroughly reliable information with regard to the movements of the enemy, the rumors that prevailed of the enormous preparations being made by the Federal government to crush the South, an insatiable desire to see and to hear for myself what was going on within the enemy's lines, all stimulated me to make an attempt, the hazardous character of which I well knew; but, trusting to my woman's wit to see me safely through, I resolved that the attempt should be made.

        My plans were tolerably well matured when the battle of Ball's Bluff took place, and I should probably have put them in execution before I did, had it not been for the insatiate desire I had to take part in another fight. After that battle, I more than ever felt the necessity for some constant, active employment, for I chafed under the ennui of the camp, and felt irresistibly impelled to be moving about and doing something. I accordingly was not long in resolving that the time had now arrived for me to attempt something more than I had yet done, and for me to effect a coup that might either make or mar my fortunes, but that, whatever its result might be, would give me the excitement I craved, and demonstrate my abilities, and my disposition to serve the Confederacy in such a signal manner that it would be impossible for those in authority any longer to ignore me.

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A WOMAN'S ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES.

        A woman labors under some disadvantages in an attempt to fight her own way in the world, and at the same time, from the mere fact that she is a woman, she can often do things that a man cannot. I have no hesitation in saying that I wish I had been created a man instead of a woman. This is what is the matter with nearly all the women who go about complaining of the wrongs of our sex. But, being a woman, I was bent on making the best of it; and having for some time now figured successfully in the garments of the other sex, I resolved upon resuming those of my own for a season, for the accomplishment of a purpose I had in my mind. This purpose I felt sure I could accomplish as a woman; and although I had a tolerably good appreciation of the perils I should run, I had confidence in my abilities to see myself through, and the perils attending my enterprise were incentives, rather than otherwise, for me to attempt it.

        Having obtained a letter of introduction to General Leonidas Polk, and my transportation papers,--for it was my intention, after making the trip I had immediately in view, to visit the part of the country in which his army was operating, as it was more familiar to me, and I thought that I could perform more efficient service there than in Virginia,--I turned in my camp equipage to the quartermaster, and bidding farewell to my friends, started off in search of new adventures.

        Stopping in Leesburg, I went, in company with a couple of other officers, to pay a visit to Mrs. Tyree, a brave and true-hearted Virginia lady, who, with her interesting family, had suffered greatly through the devastation of her property by the enemy. We tried, by every argument we could imagine, to persuade her to remove to some safer locality, representing that the Federals, though defeated at Ball's Bluff, were likely to repeat the attack at any time, and to march on Leesburg with a large force. Our appeals were in vain, however, and she answered every argument, by saying, "This is my home, and I will perish in it, if necessary." I heartily wished that I had a force of soldiers under my command at the moment, so that I could compel her to remove for her own sake and that of her family; and when I said adieu to her, it was with the sincerest admiration for her inflexible courage and her devotion to the cause of the South.

        

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MAKING A CHARGE.

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THE WAY TO KEEP A SECRET.

        Leaving my boy where he would be taken care of, I stated to my acquaintances that I intended to make a journey, and that I expected to be gone about ten days, but did not tell any one where I was going, or what my plans were. No one but myself had the slightest notion as to what project I had on foot, for I felt that success would very largely depend upon my secret being kept to myself, at least until I had accomplished, or had tried to accomplish, what I proposed. What I dreaded more than any dangers I was likely to be exposed to was the ridicule that would probably meet me in case of failure, to say nothing of the probabilities in favor of my sex being discovered, or at least suspected. But ridicule, as well as danger, was what I resolved to brave when putting on male attire, and I really dreaded it less than I did my own heart-burnings in the event of my not winning the desperate game I was playing. The way to keep a secret, as I had long since found out, is not to tell it to anybody; and acting upon this very excellent principle, I have generally succeeded in keeping my secrets--and I have, in my time, had some important ones--until the proper moment for revealing them came. Some people are never happy when possessed of a secret until they have told it to somebody else, of course in the strictest confidence. My experience is that this is a sure way to get the matter, whatever it may be, put into circulation as a bit of general information.

ASSUMING A NEW DISGUISE.

        It was necessary, however, for me to have some assistance in getting my enterprise started, just as it had been for me to select a confidant when I first assumed the uniform of an officer; and I would say here that, to the infinite honor of the friend whose aid I sought on that occasion, the secret of my transformation was as faithfully kept as if it were his own; but, as the circumstances were different, a different kind of an agent was in this case selected. My appeal, this time, was to the strongest sentiments of self-interest, and even then my confidant was only intrusted with the knowledge of a change of apparel.

        Going to an old negro woman who had washed for me, and who had shown considerable fondness for me, I told her that

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I intended visiting the Yankees for the purpose of seeing them about coming and freeing the colored folk, and asked her to let me have a suit of woman's clothes, so that I could get through the lines without being stopped. I made up quite a long yarn about what I proposed to do, and the poor old soul, believing all I told her without a moment's hesitation, consented to aid me in every way she could, her ardor being materially quickened by a twenty dollar Confederate note which I handed her.

        She was not long in having me attired in the best she had,-- a calico dress, a woollen shawl, a sun-bonnet, and a pair of shoes much too large for me,--and hiding away my uniform where it would be safe during my absence, she started me off with a full expectation that I would be back in a couple of weeks, with the whole Yankee army at my back, for the purpose of liberating all the slaves. The old woman put such implicit faith in me that I really felt sorry at deceiving her, but quieted my conscience with the thought that lying was as necessary as fighting in warfare, and that the prospects were that I would be compelled to do much more fibbing than this before the errand upon which I was about starting would be achieved.

CROSSING THE POTOMAC.

        Managing to make my way to the river without attracting any particular attention, I found an old negro who had a boat, and making up a story that I fancied would answer the purpose, I struck a bargain with him to take me across to the Maryland shore for twenty-five dollars. He was eager to get the money, probably never having handled so much before in his life at any one time, but warned me that it would be a risky piece of business, for the weather was very cold, the river broad and deep, and the current strong, and there was considerable danger of my being fired at by the pickets on either bank. I told him that I was not afraid to take all the risks, and that I thought I could stand the cold. I accordingly concealed myself in his cabin until the time for commencing the crossing arrived, neither of us deeming it prudent to start before midnight.

        It was after midnight before we were launched in our little craft on the black, swift-running water of the Potomac, and it was quite three hours before we reached the opposite shore. My old ferryman pulled lustily, but it was hard work

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for him, although the handsome fee he was to receive when his task was accomplished was a decided stimulant. He really had the best of it, however, in having some work to do, for the night air was bitter cold, and I was thinly clad. I would have been glad to have taken a turn at the oars, just for the sake of warming myself, had I believed myself possessed of the physical strength to wield them with efficiency. I was too eager to get over this unpleasant and hazardous part of my journey, however, to incur any delay by attempting to pull an oar, and bore the sharp winds that swept over the water, and at times seemed to cut me to the bones, with what equanimity I could command.

        At length we reached the Maryland side of the river, to my infinite satisfaction, for I was numb with the cold, and stiff in all my limbs, from the cramped position in which I had been obliged to sit in the boat, and was heartily glad of an opportunity to tread dry land once more. Dismissing the boatman, and enjoining him not to say anything, I made my way to a farm-house which I espied a short distance from the place of landing, and about four o'clock in the morning, finding no better place to rest my weary limbs, I crept into a wheat-stack, and slept there until daylight.

        I scarcely know whether to say that I enjoyed this sort of thing or not. For a thinly clad woman to find no better place for repose during a chilly night in the latter part of October, after having endured the cutting blasts for three hours while crossing the Potomac in an open boat, was certainly hard lines. It is true that, for some months, I had accustomed myself to tolerably rough living, but this was a trifle rougher than anything I had as yet experienced. As there was no one but myself to applaud my heroism, this particular episode did not, and could not, have the same attraction that some even more perilous ones had; and yet, despite the discomforts of the situation, I had a certain amount of satisfaction, and even of pleasure, in going through with it. My enjoyment--if I can designate my peculiar emotions by such a word--I can only attribute to my insatiable love for adventure; to the same overmastering desire to do difficult, dangerous, and exciting things, and to accomplish hazardous enterprises, that had induced me to assume the dress of the other sex, and to figure as a soldier on the battle-field.

        When I crept into that wheat-stack, however, I was not in a mood to indulge in any philosophical reflections on the situation,

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or on my own motives or feelings; I was simply in search of a reasonably sheltered place where I could repose until morning; and having found one, I was not long in closing my eyes, and lapsing into temporary oblivion of the cares and trials of this wicked world.

        I managed to get a nap of a couple of hours' duration, when I was awakened by the increasing light, and by the noises of the farm-yard. Adjusting my clothing as well as I could, and shaking off the straw that clung to me, I approached the house, a little dubious with regard to the kind of reception I should get, but trusting to luck to be able to obtain what I wanted. A man came out to meet me, and looked rather sullenly at me, as if he thought me a suspicious character, whom it would be well to have cautious dealings with. My appearance was such that there was certainly good cause for his distrust. The old colored woman's calico dress, woollen shawl, sun-bonnet, and shoes did not come near fitting me, while my slumbers in the wheat-stack had not tended to make me a particularly attractive object. I had no difficulty in believing that I was a perfect fright, and was amused, rather than displeased, at the rather discourteous reception I met with.

        Plucking up courage, however, I advanced, and told him that I had been driven out of Virginia, and was trying to get back to my people in Tennessee. I did not give any hint of my political predilections, thinking it more prudent to find how he and his folk stood first. I then asked him if I could not go into the house and warm myself, and get some breakfast, as I was both cold and hungry, and I suppose must have looked so pitiable that he felt compelled to grant my request, if only for charity's sake. He accordingly invited me into the dining-room, and called his wife.

        When the woman came, I told a long rigmarole, taking pains to show that I had some money, with which I could, if necessary, pay for what I ate and drank. My story, I saw plainly, did not take very well, and the man was evidently afraid to say much. The woman, however, soon let out on the Yankees with such fiery energy that I understood at once how matters stood, and consequently began to feel more at my ease.

        I now began to embellish my story with plenty of abuse of the Yankees, and with such details of the sufferings I had endured on account of my having sided with the South, that

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their sympathies were at once aroused, and I felt certain that I could easily get all the assistance from them that I wished. Both of them--but the man especially--were eager to know all about the battle. I had told them that I had just come from the neighborhood of Leesburg, and I accordingly gave them an account of the affair, dilating particularly upon the magnificent manner in which the Confederates had whipped the Yankees, and prophesying that, with a little more of this kind of fighting, there would soon be an end of the war.

        The woman now invited me to a nice, warm breakfast, which I enjoyed immensely, for I was desperately hungry after my night's adventure. During the meal I showed them a letter, written by myself, for use in such an emergency as this, which, of course, tended to confirm the story I told, and treated them to the style of conversation they evidently liked to hear. After breakfast was over, the woman, taking pity upon my mean attire, insisted upon dressing me in some of her own clothing. I was soon, therefore, in a somewhat more presentable condition than I had been, and, having obtained such information as they were able to give in regard to the best method of proceeding in order speedily to reach my destination, I bade them good-by, sincerely grateful for their kindness, and started for Washington, where I hoped to be able to pick up some useful bits of information,--in fact, to make what the soldiers would call, a reconnoissance in force.

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CHAPTER XI.

IN WASHINGTON.

        Inside the Enemy's Lines.--Arrival at the Federal Capital.-- Renewing an Acquaintance with an old Friend.--What I found out by a judicious System of Questioning.--The Federal Plans with regard to the Mississippi.--An Attack on New Orleans surmised.--A Tour around Washington.--Visit to the War Department, and Interview with Secretary Cameron and General Wessells.--An Introduction to the President.--Impressions of Mr. Lincoln.--I succeed in finding out a Thing or two at the Post-Office.--Sudden Departure from Washington. --Return to Leesburg.--Departure for Columbus, Kentucky.

        HAVING once penetrated the lines of the enemy, there was, I knew, little to fear. As a Confederate soldier, I was figuring in a disguise which was likely, at any time, to get me into trouble of some sort, and not the least danger I saw was that of being arrested as a spy. When I first undertook to be a soldier, this was an idea that never occurred to me; but a very short experience in actual campaigning taught me that I would have to be careful to prevent the fact that I was disguised from being found out, if for no other reason than that my loyalty to the Southern cause might not be suspected. I relied, however, upon the good fighting I had done, and the other services I had rendered, which were proofs of the genuineness of my devotion, as well as the influence of my friends to get me out of any scrape into which I might fall through the discovery that I was not a man.

        Here, in the enemy's country, however, I passed for exactly what I was, with nobody nearer than Memphis who knew me, both as a man and as a woman, and I consequently felt perfectly secure in moving about pretty much as I chose,

Illustration

CROSSING THE POTOMAC.

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having a plausible story on the end of my tongue to tell anybody who might question me. I concluded that, as it was most likely I would meet in Washington people who knew me as a woman,--indeed, I relied greatly upon finding some acquaintance through whom I could be able to obtain the kind of information I desired,--that it would be safer, and in all respects better for me to attempt no disguise, but to figure as myself, and as nobody else.

ON THE ROAD TO WASHINGTON.

        The kindness of my friend, the farmer's wife, in furnishing me with an outfit from her own wardrobe, enabled me to make a presentable appearance, for, although I was by no means elegantly attired, my clothing was quite good enough for me to pass as a lady; and when I left the farm-house and started en route for Washington, it was with a light heart, and with no apprehensions of difficulty, except, perhaps, in getting back safely, and of being able to resume my disguise again without being discovered. The prospect of having some trouble in these respects, however, only gave a zest to the adventure; and as I had managed to get safely within the Federal lines, I had little doubt that I would be able to elude the Confederate pickets in returning, especially as I understood how matters were managed on the Virginia side, and knew, or thought I knew, how to elude the vigilance of our boys.

        Between my starting-point on the Maryland side and Washington, I saw a good many soldiers, from which I judged that the approaches to the Federal capital were strongly guarded, and that very efficient means were being taken to prevent anything like a surprise on the part of the Confederates. This was the most important information I succeeded in obtaining; and except that I was enabled to form some estimates of the force that was guarding the Maryland side of the Potomac it was of no special value, as it was well understood among the Confederates that the enemy were well prepared to resist an attack upon Washington, and were concentrating a large army in and about the city.

        There were matters better worth knowing than this that I hoped to discover; and to discover them, it was necessary for me to go to Washington, and when there, to obtain facilities for conversing with people who knew what I wanted to know.

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I had a plan of procedure in my mind in which I had great confidence, but I really trusted more to circumstances than to any definite plan, having ample belief in my own ability to take advantage of anything that might turn up. While on the way to Washington, therefore, I judged it prudent to do as little talking as possible, although I kept my eyes and ears open for any scraps of useful knowledge that might present themselves.

ARRIVAL IN WASHINGTON.

        On arriving in Washington, I went to Brown's Hotel, and having learned that an officer of the regular Federal army, with whom I was well acquainted, and who had been a warm personal friend of my late husband, was in the city, I sent him a note, asking him to call on me. He came to see me very promptly on receiving my message, and greeting me with a good deal of cordiality, expressed a desire to aid me in any manner that lay in his power. I told him that I was just from New York, and making up a plausible story to account for my being in Washington, began to question him about the progress of the war. He evidently had not the slightest idea that I was in Washington for any other purpose than what he would have considered a perfectly legitimate one, and consequently spoke without any reserve concerning a number of matters about which he would certainly have kept silent had he suspected that I had just come from the other side of the Potomac, and that my object was to pick up items of information that would be useful to the Confederacy.

        He greatly lamented the defeat which the Federals had met with at Ball's Bluff, and from what he said, I judged that the affair was the great sensation of the hour, and that it had caused much discouragement, not only in the army, but among all classes of people at the North. Indeed, my friend was decidedly blue when discussing the subject, and expressed himself in very energetic terms with regard to the rebels, little thinking that he was conversing with one who had played a most active part in the very thickest of the battle. He went on to say, however, that it was expected that the defeat at Ball's Bluff would be more than compensated for very shortly. and that in Kentucky, particularly, the Federals were making great preparations for an active campaign, which, it was hoped, would do material damage to the Confederacy.

        I succeeded, by judicious questioning, in obtaining a few

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points from him with regard to the operations of the Federal forces in the West; but although he was tolerably well posted about the general movements, he was apparently not accurately informed with regard to particulars. It is probable, too, that he might have known a good deal that he did not choose to tell, even to me, unsuspicious as he was about my real character.

SOMETHING WORTH KNOWING.

        The information of most vital moment, however, that I succeeded in obtaining from him was, that active preparations were being made to secure possession of the upper Mississippi, and that a very large fleet was being fitted out for the purpose of blockading the mouth of the river. I instantly surmised from this that an attack on New Orleans was in contemplation, and resolved to bend my energies, during my stay in Washington, to the task of finding out all I could with regard to the actual intentions of the Federal government. I did succeed in obtaining ample confirmation of all my friend told me, and to a limited extent of my guesses. Those, however, who really knew, were very close-mouthed about what particular work was being cut out for the fleet to perform, and the desire seemed to be to leave the impression that it was to undertake blockade duty simply, and to close the mouths of the river to the ingress and egress of vessels. There were some things which I heard, however, that did not exactly conform to this theory, and by the time I left Washington, I was tolerably well convinced that a grand blow was shortly to be struck, either at Mobile or New Orleans, but most likely at the latter city. I pumped, in a quiet way, everybody I met, who was at all likely to know anything; but I was really afraid to push my inquiries too far, or to seem too inquisitive, as I did not care to be suspected as a spy and put under surveillance, especially as I learned that the government was greatly annoyed by the presence of numbers of Confederate spies in Washington, and was disposed to deal vigorously with them if they were caught.

        This, it must be remembered, was simply a reconnoitring expedition, undertaken entirely on my own account, without authority from anybody; and while I, of course, wanted to find out all I could, my real object was more to make an experiment than anything else, and I did not wish to spoil my chances for future operations--for I fully

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expected to visit Washington again on similar service to this --by getting into trouble just then, and consequently making myself liable to suspicion in the future.

        After a somewhat prolonged and very pleasant conversation with my friend, he took his departure, promising, however, to call the next day, and as I was a stranger in Washington,--having never visited the city before,--to take me to the different places of interest. This was exactly what I wanted, for I was desirous of being informed, as soon as possible, exactly where the public offices were situated, and the best means of obtaining access to them, and I counted greatly upon this obliging and very gallant gentleman unsuspectingly starting me on the right road for the accomplishment of the ends I had in view.

        He made his appearance promptly at the appointed hour the next morning, and took me to see the Patent Office, the Treasury Department, and the War Department. With this latter, especially, I was, as might be supposed, particularly interested; and skilfully hinting to my escort an intense desire to know something with regard to how the operations of a great conflict, like the one in progress, were directed from headquarters, I led him up to making a proposal that he should introduce me to the Secretary of War. In a demure sort of way, I expressed myself as delighted at the honor of being able to meet so great a man, and so, in a few moments more, I was bowing, in my politest manner, to Secretary Cameron.

AT THE WAR DEPARTMENT.

        The secretary seemed to be busy, and evidently did not have much time to give to me, and my conversation with him scarcely amounted to more than an exchange of the most ordinary civilities. I made the most of my opportunities, however, for studying his face, and forming some estimate of his character.

        I cannot say that the Secretary of War impressed me very favorably. He was abundantly courteous in his manners, but there was a crafty look in his eyes, and a peculiar expression about his mouth, that I thought indicated a treacherous disposition, and that I did not like. I concluded that Mr. Cameron would be a hard man to deal with, unless dealing were made well worth his while; but in spite of his evident knowingness, and his evident confidence in his own abilities,

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I left him, feeling tolerably sure that I could prove myself a fair match for him in case our wits were ever brought into conflict.

        I was much better pleased with General Wessells, the Commissary General of Prisoners, to whom I was also introduced, than I was with Secretary Cameron. He was very polite, indeed, and I decided immediately that I was likely to make more out of him than I was out of the secretary. On the impulse of the moment, and just for the sake of feeling my ground with him, I said, in a careless sort of way, during our conversation, that I had a brother who was a prisoner, and whom I would like to see, if it could be permitted, notwithstanding that he was on the wrong side. General Wessells very politely said that I could see him if I wished; whereupon I thanked him, and said that I would, perhaps, shortly avail myself of his kindness.

        The reader may be sure that while at the War Department I saw and heard all I could, and that I took particular pains to note the movements of everybody, and to observe exactly how things were done, so that in case I should ever be obliged to call there again on any special errand, I should feel reasonably at home, and be able to go about whatever work I had in hand with as little embarrassment as possible.

A VISIT TO MR. LINCOLN.

        From the War Department we went to the White House, where my friend said he would introduce me to the President. I really had some dread of this interview, although I experienced a great curiosity to see Mr. Lincoln, and would not have willingly missed such an opportunity as this of meeting him. I had heard a great deal about him, of course, and not much that was favorable, either as regards his character or his personal appearance, and I considered him more than any one person responsible for the war. Mr. Lincoln, however, was an agreeable disappointment to me, as I have no doubt he was to many others. He was certainly a very homely man, but he was not what I should call an ugly man, for he had a pleasant, kindly face, and a pleasantly familiar manner, that put one at ease with him immediately.

        I did not have an opportunity to exchange a great many words with Mr. Lincoln, but my interview, brief as it was, induced me to believe, not only that he was not a bad man,

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but that he was an honest and well-meaning one, who thought that he was only doing his duty in attempting to conquer the South. He impressed me in a very different way from the Secretary of War; and I left the White House, if not with a genuine liking for him, at least with many of my prejudices dispelled, and different feelings towards him than I had when I entered.

        My change of sentiment with regard to Mr. Lincoln, as may be supposed, did not influence me in the least with regard to my own opinions concerning the rights and wrongs of the contest between the North and the South, nor did I allow it to interfere in any way with the carrying out of my plans. I was simply trying to do my duty, just as I suppose he was trying to do his, as he understood it; and I was, equally with him, determined to aid, by every means in my power, the particular side I advocated.

        After leaving the White House, we visited the Capitol, and listened to the debates in Congress for a while; but as the subjects which the senators and representatives happened to be discussing at the moment were of no particular interest to me, I had more pleasure in looking about the really noble building than I had in hearing them talk.

        Our next visit was made to the Post Office, where my friend had some business to transact. Here I succeeded in finding out a number of things I wanted to know, and obtained some really important information, simply by listening to the conversation I heard going on around me, which is a demonstration of the necessity for people who do not want their secrets discovered by the very ones whom it is desirable should not discover them, not to do too much loud talking before total strangers. I was really annoyed at some of the conversation I heard between government officials while at the Post Office, and wondered how the Federal authorities ever expected to prevent the Confederates from finding out their plans if this kind of thing was going on all the time.

        My tour around Washington, and especially my visit to the War and Post Office Departments, convinced me, not only that Washington would be a first-rate place for me to operate in, if I could obtain a definite attachment to the detective corps, but that I had the abilities to become a good detective, and would, in a very short time, be able to put the Confederate authorities in possession of information of the first value with regard to the present and prospective movements of the enemy.

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        Having fulfilled my errand, and accomplished all that I had expected when starting out on this trip, I left Washington as suddenly as I had entered it, giving my friend to understand that I was going to New York. I had as little trouble in getting back to Leesburg as I had in getting away from it, and put in an appearance at the house of the old colored woman, who had my uniform hid away for me, within thirteen days from the time I left it.

IN UNIFORM AGAIN.

        Attiring myself once more in the garb of a Confederate officer, I returned the old woman her calico dress, shawl, sun-bonnet, and shoes, and in response to her eager inquiries, told her a good deal of nonsense about the Yankees being on their way to free the colored people, and made her believe that they would soon be along. Another suit of female clothing I took up to the hotel with me, and told my boy Bob, who seemed to be very curious about them, that I had bought them for my girl. Bob seemed to be delighted to see me again, as he had been apprehensive, from my long absence, that something had happened, and that I might never return. He was most anxious to know where I had been; but I put a short stop to his questionings on that topic, by giving him orders to have everything ready for an early start on a long journey in the morning. The next day we were en route for Columbus, Tennessee, where I expected to find General Polk, under whom I was now desirous of serving.

        Like hundreds of others, I had gone to Virginia with the opening of summer, inspired by high hopes and great expectations. These hopes and expectations were far from being realized, although I had succeeded in gratifying some of the most ardent desires that had animated me in setting out, for I had gone through with a number of perilous adventures, such as would have certainly satisfied the ambition of most women. Notwithstanding, however, that the Confederates had won the first great victory, it became apparent, at an early day, that a single battle was not going to finish the war, and that if the South was to achieve its independence, it must go through a long and bloody conflict. My visit to Washington more than confirmed the opinion I had formed, that the Federals were in command of enormous resources in comparison with ours, and that they were settling down to a deadly

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determination bring all their resources to bear for the purpose of fighting the thing out to the bitter end. When I took the back track, therefore, nearly six months from the time of starting out, and when the chill winds of winter were beginning to make their severity felt by the poor soldiers, I was prepared for a long and desperate war, which would be a very different thing from the holiday affair which my Arkansas recruits, in common with many others, had expected. I was as resolute as ever in my determination to see the thing out, however, and I experienced even a certain amount of pleasure in the certainty that a prolonged struggle would afford me abundant opportunities for exciting and perilous adventures. There was not a man in the Confederacy who was more willing to fight to the last than I was, or who was willing to venture into greater peril for the sake of the cause; and, perhaps, if all the men had been as eager to find the last ditch as myself, before giving up, the war might have had a different termination.

        This is something, however, about which it is scarcely worth while to speculate now. It is enough to say, that I left Virginia in a different mood from that in which I had entered it. Experience had opened my eyes to a good many things I did not clearly understand before, but although in some particulars I was disappointed, I was certainly not discouraged; and my head was as full of ideas, and of much better arranged, and more practical plans, than it was when I resolved to become a soldier. I now knew tolerably well what I could do, and the particular kind of work I could do best, and I was as enthusiastic as ever, although, perhaps, in a more sober fashion, to give the cause the benefit of my best exertions.

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CHAPTER XII.

ACTING AS MILITARY CONDUCTOR.

        At Memphis again.--Ending my first Campaign.--My Friend the Captain and I exchange Notes.--I reach Columbus and report to General Leonidas Polk.--Assigned to Duty as Military Conductor.--Unavailing Blandishments of the Women.--A mean Piece of Malice.--General Lucius M. Polk tries to play a trick on me.--The Path of Duty.--The General put under Arrest.--An Explanation concerning a one-sided Joke.--I become dissatisfied, and tender my Resignation.--A Request to return to Virginia and enter the Secret Service.--Acceptance of my Resignation.--The Lull before the Storm.

        A FEW days of hard travel, and I was back at my starting-point, Memphis, having made the circuit of the entire Confederacy east of the Mississippi. I was wiser by a good deal of valuable practical knowledge than I was when I set out on my Arkansas recruiting expedition, and I had passed through scenes that made it seem years, instead of a few short months, since I had made my first important attempt at practicing essentially characteristic masculine manners with the damsel in yellow calico down there at Hurlburt Station. The mere school-girl romance had been pretty well knocked out of me by the rough experiences of actual warfare. I thought very little just then about Joan of Arc, or indeed, about any of the dead and gone heroes and heroines; but my mind was considerably occupied with my own fortunes, and with those of the cause to which I had pledged myself.

        My experiences--I do not allude to the mere hardships of a soldier's life--had not all been of the most pleasurable kind. I had learned much concerning some of the very weak points of human nature; that all men are not heroes who wish to be considered as such; that self-seeking was more common than patriotism; that mere courage sufficient to face the enemy in battle is not a very rare quality, and is frequently associated with meanness of spirit; that it is easier to meet the enemy

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bravely in battle, than it is to exercise one's brains so as to meet him most effectively; that great names are not always worthily borne by great men, and that a spirit of petty jealousy is even more prevalent in a camp than it is in a girl's boarding-school. These and a good many other things worth knowing, even if the knowledge was not of the most agreeable kind, I had picked up, as well as much information of a different sort, that qualified me to make a second start as something better than an apprentice in the art of war.

        Notwithstanding many unpleasant things connected with this, my first campaign, however, I had certainly enjoyed myself immensely, after a certain fashion; for, to have taken part in two such battles as that at Bull Run and that at Ball's Bluff, and to have satisfactorily attempted a trip to Washington for the sake of finding out what they were doing in the Federal capital, were experiences that more than counterbalanced some which I could not reflect upon with equal complacency. If I returned to Memphis a disappointed woman in certain particulars, I also returned a hopeful one, for I knew better now how to go about the work I had in hand; and as it was evident that some of the hardest fighting of the war was to be done in this region, I confidently expected to have abundant opportunity to distinguish myself, both as a soldier and as a scout, and had scarcely a doubt of being employed in such services as I was best qualified to perform.

READY TO MAKE ANOTHER START.

        Behold me, then, back in Memphis, ready to commence a second campaign, inspired by a different kind of enthusiasm from that which moved me when I shocked my husband and the friend whom I persuaded to assist me in my enterprise, by my determination to be a soldier, but even more firmly resolved to do my full share of the fighting, and to give the Confederate cause the benefit of all my energy, wit, and courage.

        The friend of whom I have spoken I still found in Memphis. He was now captain in the Confederate service, and on my meeting with him he seemed both rejoiced and surprised to see me again. We did not have much of an opportunity to talk matters over, as I was anxious to get to Columbus as soon as possible, but I contrived to find time to relate briefly some of my adventures, and he appeared to be intensely interested

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in my recital. It astonished him somewhat to find that what I had seen of warfare had not disgusted me with it, and that I was bent upon being a soldier so long as there was any fighting to do; but this time, however, he made no attempt to dissuade me from my purpose, being perfectly well convinced of my ability to take care of myself. Wishing each other good luck, we parted again, and I took the first boat for Columbus, where I expected to find General Leonidas Polk.

        On landing at Columbus, I gave my equipage and the two horses I had bought at Memphis, in charge of Bob, with directions to keep a sharp eye on them, and went to Barnes' Hotel, to see if I could come across anybody I knew, and to make the inquiries necessary for my next movement.

        Columbus was one of the liveliest places I had ever visited, or at least it seemed so that evening. There was an immense amount of bustle and confusion, and everything seemed to indicate that the campaign in this region was being pushed with considerable energy; although, as I had found out before, noise and activity in and about headquarters do not always mean remarkable energy in the field; for an obstinate enemy, bent on doing some hard fighting, takes a good deal of the nonsense out of mere cabinet generalship. Soon after supper I got my tent up, and the next morning I went in search of the general for the purpose of presenting my letter.

I REPORT FOR DUTY TO GENERAL POLK.

        General Polk, who had been a bishop before the war broke out, received me cordially enough, although he seemed to be too busy to do much talking, and after reading my letter, dismissed me with the rather indefinite observation that he would see what he could do for me. This might mean anything or nothing; but as I had no other resource than to wait and see what conclusion he would come to with regard to me, I made my bow and retired, determined to be as patient as my impatient disposition would let me.

         While waiting for the general to assign me to duty I visited the different camps, made a number of acquaintances, and picked up what information I could about the military situation in the West. Everybody was expecting hard fighting, and a desperate struggle with the Federals for the possession of the Mississippi, as it seemed to be well understood that the enemy were making great preparations for some heavy work

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on this river. It was thought, however, the defences were sufficiently strong to resist any attacks, and the idea that an attempt would ere a great while be made against New Orleans by way of the Gulf of Mexico, was scarcely entertained seriously by any one. I thought differently; but then I had special reasons for my own opinions, which I did not consider it necessary to communicate to all of my new-made friends, deeming it prudent to keep quiet about my visit to Washington, although ready enough to tell all I knew concerning the military situation in Virginia in exchange for what I learned from them about the condition of things in the West.

        The third day after my arrival at Columbus, General Polk sent for me, and told me that he had assigned me to the detective corps. I was considerably elated at this, as I supposed that he intended to employ me in running through the lines as a spy. I had taken a great fancy to this kind of service, and felt myself especially well qualified for it. I wanted something to do that would keep me constantly employed, and especially that would require me to give my whole mind to whatever task I had in hand. There was an element of positive peril in scout duty that had a wonderful fascination for me, and that I felt would give me a keen enjoyment, such as lounging around a camp, with only the disagreeable routine of campaigning, broken by an occasional battle, could never afford.

I AM MADE A MILITARY CONDUCTOR.

        I was not particularly well pleased, therefore, when I found that I was to run on the cars as military conductor. This, however, was active duty of a specific kind, and I thought that perhaps it might lead to something better, or might even offer me opportunities for distinguishing myself that I did not suspect. I took it, therefore, without complaining, resolved to do my best while on duty, and to resign the position, and go elsewhere for employment, so soon as I found the service getting too uncongenial. I accordingly went, under orders from General Polk, to Camp Beauregard, where I was directed to relieve Captain Jannett, on the Nashville road.

        It was while acting in the capacity of military conductor on this road that some of the most amusing incidents of my career occurred, or, at least, incidents that were amusing enough to me at the time, although I presume that they would

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seem stupid enough on repetition; for many of the events of our lives that cause the heartiest laughter, depend so much on the surroundings and accessories, that it is difficult to raise even a smile at them when narrated. Nearly every day, however, little controversies would occur between myself and ladies who tried to beguile me with their smiles, little suspecting how well fortified I was against their fascinating arts; and I often laughed heartily to myself at noting the nice feminine wiles that were brought to bear to beguile me from the strict line of my duty. I am afraid that, had I been a man, some of these wiles would have been successful; but as, in spite of my garments, I was compelled to view the arts of my feminine passengers, and would-be passengers, from a feminine standpoint, I am scarcely able to doubt that the military conductorship on this particular line was run on more rigidly virtuous principles, during my term of service, than before or afterwards.

        My duty was to run on the trains and examine passes, furloughs, and leaves of absence; and as I could place any one under arrest who was not travelling with the right kind of papers, or who was unprovided with papers of any kind, I was a personage of considerable importance, not only to the officers and soldiers who were going back and forth, but to the ladies, who courted me with remarkable assiduity, with a view of inducing me to grant them favors. The women folk tormented me a good deal more than the men did, for the average masculine had a wholesome dread of the rigors of military discipline, and was consequently manageable, while my own sex relied on accomplishing, by means of their fascinations, what was impossible to the men. They would make all kinds of excuses, and tell all kinds of improbable stories, to induce me to pass them; but as I put a stop to all that kind of nonsense at the very start, and made up my mind to do business on strictly military principles, I soon became anything but popular. Occasionally some of my would-be charmers, finding it impossible to make any impression on me, would abuse me roundly for refusing to grant their request. This, of course, did not have any other effect than to afford me much amusement; but it enabled me to understand why my predecessor seemed so well pleased at being relieved, although I have doubts as to whether he was as strict in enforcing the regulations as myself. Indeed, I have excellent reasons for believing that he was not at all strict.

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        While the women, as a rule, gave me the most trouble, there were a good many hard customers among the men, with whom it was not easy to have pleasant dealings. Merely obstreperous fellows, however, I could generally manage by letting them see that I was dead in earnest; but there were plenty of officers who were willing to violate orders, and then put the blame, in case there should be any trouble, on my shoulders, and who took it as a personal grievance that I would not let them travel without the proper papers. One malicious scoundrel, because I would not permit him to travel without a pass, trumped up a most scandalous false charge against me, to General Lucius M. Polk, who undertook to look into the matter himself.

FOLLOWING THE PATH OF DUTY.

        I did not know or suspect of anything being wrong; and had I been other than resolutely bent upon doing my whole duty, at all hazards, I should probably have fallen into the trap so cunningly laid for me on this occasion. I had seen enough of military life, however, to know that the only safe course for a soldier is to obey orders, no matter who suffers; and, as my orders were to pass no one unprovided with the right kind of papers, I was resolved to carry them out to the letter, under all circumstances, without regard to consequences.

        General Polk, bent upon knowing how I was making out as military conductor, and whether I was entirely trustworthy,--it having been reported to him, by the scamp referred to, that I was not,--stepped aboard the train with a ten days' leave of absence in his pocket. He probably thought that I was as good as detected in neglecting my duty, but he found out his mistake before he got through; and if he had not taken the precaution to provide himself with the proper official documents before starting, the ending of the adventure would have been anything but a merry one for him, for I should certainly have arrested him.

A GAME OF BLUFF.

        On entering the car, I sang out, as usual, "Show your passes, gentlemen."

        The general turned his head, and commenced looking out of the window rather intently, as travellers not provided with passes were very much in the habit of doing. When I reached

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him, in going through the car, I gently tapped his shoulder, and said, "Have you a pass?"

        "No," said he. "Won't you let me go through without one?"

        "No sir," I replied; "I cannot pass any one. My orders are very strict, especially with regard to officers and soldiers."

        "Well," said he, "don't you think you could go back on your orders for once? Did you never favor a friend in this line?"

        "Sir," I answered, rather severely, "I know no friends in connection with my duty, or general orders."

        "Well, what are you going to do in my case; for I haven't got any pass," said the general.

        I replied, "I will send you back to headquarters, under guard."

        "But," said he, "do you know, sir, that I am General Polk?" putting on all the magnificent style he could command as he spoke.

        I was considerably nettled, both by his conduct in endeavoring to persuade me to pass him in violation of orders and by his manner, and so said, rather sharply, "I don't care, sir, who you are; you can't travel on this line without a pass, even if you are Jeff Davis himself."

        I was, by this time, rather angry, and determined to have no further controversy with him; so I called a soldier to take charge of him, while I finished going through the train.

        The conductor, who had seen the whole performance, and who was afraid that I was getting myself into serious trouble, strongly advised me to release the general, and to pass him through as he desired. I told him, however, that I understood my duty perfectly, and that I intended to perform it to the letter, in this as in every other instance; and that if General Polk didn't know better than to undertake to travel without his papers, he would have to bear the consequences.

        When we were nearing the station, General Polk beckoned to me, and said, "I have a leave of absence."

        I held out my hand, and he produced it from his pocket, laughing as he did so at what he evidently considered a good joke on the military conductor. I looked at it, and returned it, simply saying, "That is all right, sir." The general held out his hand to me with a very cordial smile, and was evidently desirous of doing away with any ill feeling that the incident might have occasioned on my side. I was very badly

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vexed, however, that he should have attempted to play such a trick upon me, and to have doubted my honor; and I did not receive his greeting with any great amount of cordiality, being resolved, in my own mind, to be even with him some day.

        On his return, General Polk explained the whole affair, and apologized very handsomely for having made such a test of my fidelity. I told him very plainly, however, that I did not like that sort of thing, and that I proposed to tender my resignation shortly, as I preferred service in the field to duty like this, where I had to be acting the part of a spy on the people all the time, while being myself subjected to the surveillance of my superiors in a manner that was far from agreeable. He attempted to discourage me from indulging in the idea of resigning; but although I did not care to argue the matter with him, my mind was fully made up to try my luck in some other line of duty.

I AM WANTED IN VIRGINIA.

        I was the more anxious to get away, as I had received an urgent letter from my friend, Captain Shankey, asking me to return to Virginia and enter the secret service. This would have suited me exactly, had I been certain of getting the kind of employment I wanted by complying with Captain Shankey's request. But having just come from Virginia, where I had been for a number of months waiting in vain for a fair chance to make myself useful in such a manner that I could take a genuine pride and interest in my work, I was disposed to wait a while and see something of military operations in the West before returning. This call to go East was, however, a good pretext for throwing up a position that was becoming unpleasant, and that promised to be abundantly annoying, without offering any corresponding advantages. It was an additional string to my bow, and I could, at least, consider it while making another effort to tempt Fortune, before putting in an appearance on my old campaign ground again.

        It was really, however, my intention to go back to Virginia, so soon as I could get relieved from the duty I was engaged in, and had that object in my mind when I sent in my resignation, although circumstances occurred that induced me to change my plans. My resignation was accepted without much hesitation at headquarters, and once more, after three weeks,

Illustration

ABOUND RICHMOND.

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service as a military conductor, I was free to follow my own inclinations.

        These three weeks were very fruitful in experiences, and I learned a good many things which I do not particularly care to set down in black and white, but which were worth knowing. Between what I saw and heard, both in the East and the West, I was beginning to understand why things did not move briskly, and why, in spite of successes in the field, the Confederate cause, instead of making headway, was losing ground; and I was, in a measure, prepared for the disasters which shortly after began to follow thick and fast. But, before disasters did come, there were some bright days, which, in my memory, seem brighter than, perhaps, they really were, from the contrast between them and the dismal times by which they were succeeded. These I enjoyed to the utmost, and when the darkness of defeat and disaster did begin to settle down upon the doomed Confederacy, I, for one, bore up with undaunted spirit to the very last hour, and was willing to fight the thing out even when every hope of success had vanished. But these are matters that do not properly come up for discussion in this place; and what we are now concerned with are the pleasant hours of genuine fun and frolic--the last I saw for many a day--that preceded the bursting of the storm-cloud which was beginning to overshadow the fortunes of the Confederacy.

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CHAPTER XIII.

A MERRY-MAKING.

        In Search of active Employment.--On the Road to Bowling Green, Kentucky.--My travelling Companions.--A Halt at Paris.--A Hog-killing and Corn-shucking Frolic.--Dancing all Night in the School-house.--A Quilting-Party.--My particular Attentions to a Lady.--The other Girls unhappy.--The Reward of Gallantry. --What General Hardee had to say to me.--The Woodsonville Fight. --On the back Track for Fort Donelson.

        IT would, perhaps, have been better for me, in many respects, had I gone back to Virginia; for the probabilities were that I would, very shortly, if not immediately, have obtained the gratification of my desire for active employment in the secret service corps, and I would, consequently, not only have put in my time to much better advantage than I did, both for myself and for the Confederacy, but I would have been spared a number of particularly unpleasant occurrences which were fruitful of nothing but abundance of disgust on my part. If everything happened to us, however, just as we desired in this world, not only would we not properly appreciate heaven, when we get there,--if we ever do,--but adventure would lose much of its zest. So, the best way, after all, is, perhaps, to take things about as they come, and keeping a sharp lookout for the main chances, do what we can with them to advance the ends we have in view.

        My campaign in the West, before I trod Virginia ground again, was certainly adventuresome enough to satisfy all my cravings, were adventure alone what I wanted. While, however, I plunged into adventures for the love of the thing, and cared not what perils presented themselves when I had an object to attain, I was neither reckless nor foolhardy, and wanted to have something definite in view beyond the excitement of the hour.

        It was because I thought that there would be a chance for

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me, ere a great while, in Kentucky, to demonstrate my value either as a soldier or as a spy,--for some heavy fighting was undoubtedly about to begin,--that I determined to defer going East for the present, thinking that Fortune would favor me where I was. So I remained, and began to look about for a good place to commence operations in again. As there was evidently nothing to be had at Columbus that I wanted, I decided to try what could be done at the other end of the Confederate line of operations,--at Bowling Green.

STARTING FOR BOWLING GREEN.

        For Bowling Green I accordingly started, my travelling companions being Colonel Bacon and Captain Billingsley. They were both genial, pleasant gentlemen,--gentlemen in every sense of the word,--and I enjoyed their society greatly during the journey.

        Soldiers are generally fond of taking a hand in anything in the shape of a frolic that is going on, more especially as a uniform-coat is tolerably sure to be a passport to the favor of the ladies; consequently, when on reaching the little town of Paris, we found that there was some sport in progress in the shape of a hog-killing and corn-shucking festival, we concluded that the best thing we could do would be to stop and have a bit of fun. Well, it was genuine fun, of a downright hearty kind, and all three of us enjoyed ourselves immensely, although, I am afraid that the captain and the colonel appreciated the thing more than I did; for they were both great ladies' men, and this was such a chance as did not present itself every day for them to exert their powers of fascination upon the fair sex. I considered that I had a manly reputation to sustain, too, and I consequently resolved not to be beaten by them in the matter of gallant attentions to the girls of Paris. My previous experience in winning the regards of my sex, induced me to believe that I could, with comparative ease, become the hero of the occasion, in spite of their superiority of official rank and superior dignity of manly carriage. This was the first occasion since my assumption of male attire that I had been offered a fair chance to attempt a bit of rivalry of this kind, and I thought that it would be a first-rate notion to improve the occasion. I determined, therefore, on an active campaign for the smiles of the fair one with the captain and the colonel.

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A FAVORITE WITH THE LADIES.

        The welcome which extended to us was all that could be desired in the way of cordiality, the girls, especially, evidently being delighted to have three dashing officers take part with them in the frolic. It was not a great while, therefore, before each of us had a young lady in charge, and were doing our best to be as agreeable as possible. I had, perhaps, rather the advantage of the colonel and the captain at the start, for I figured as one of those nice little fellows who, for some unaccountable reason, seem to be admired by many women in a greater degree than are more manly-looking men; and as I exerted myself to be as fascinating as possible, my two companions were speedily thrown in the shade, and I found myself the special object of the adoration of the Parisian damsels, very much to my amusement.

        The colonel and the captain, however, had the best of me in the long run, for, as I was only playing a part, I was not able to keep up the competition with as much animation as they did; and although the first successes were mine, I was tired out, and ready to retire from the field some time before they showed any disposition to give up. I think that both of my friends perceived that I was trying to outshine them with the Paris girls; but as they did not understand the situation as I did, they were, of course, unable to see exactly where the laugh came in. Could they have but known who I really was, they would, undoubtedly, have been intensely amused, and would have enjoyed the whole performance immensely.

A VILLAGE BALL.

        The serious business of hog-killing and corn-shucking was supplemented by a feast, at which the viands were chiefly winter apples and cider, and the frolic concluded with a dance in the school-house, which lasted until morning. My two friends and myself were in great demand as partners, and we nearly danced the breath out of our bodies before the affair wound up; which it finally did about daybreak, very much to my satisfaction, for I was nearly used up, having found waltzing all night much harder and more exhausting work than campaigning. The affair, however, was a right merry one, and I enjoyed myself immensely.

        When day began to dawn, we took our girls home, and then

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sought our beds. It was not long before I was sound asleep, and so worn out with my exertions of the night, that I did not wake up until nearly supper-time.

        The next evening we went to a quilting-party, I acting as escort to an old maid who had been compelled to play the part of a wall-flower nearly all the night before, and to whom I determined to pay particular attention, just for the sake of a joke, and to annoy the younger girls, who showed a marked disposition to monopolize all the masculine attentions at her expense. It was very funny to note the dismay which this choice of mine caused in the breasts of those who thought they had a better right to my courtesies. I had the satisfaction of seeing, however, that my politeness was keenly appreciated by the recipient of it, and I redoubled my exertions to make myself agreeable when I noticed the chagrin my conduct was exciting among the rivals of my lady.

        As for the lady herself, she had evidently not received so much marked attention from anybody in masculine garb for a long time, and she plumed herself immensely on having made a conquest of the dashing little lieutenant, and was, doubtless, inspired by a higher appreciation of her own powers of fascination than she had ever been before. Repeated attempts were made to win me away from her side, but all in vain; the sport was too entertaining for me to give it up, and I steadfastly resisted all the allurements of the rival beauties, with not a little enjoyment of their discomfiture.

I TAKE THE NEEDLE IN HAND.

        The quilting-party was a very merry and very noisy one, although the full was not of quite so uproarious a character as that of the previous night. I offered to take a hand at the work that was going on, making a great boast of my skill with the needle. The probabilities are that I could have manipulated that little feminine instrument quite as deftly as most of those present, but did not think it expedient to show myself too handy with it. Taking my place at the frame, therefore, I set about making a figure with something of masculine awkwardness, and succeeded in putting in quite as shocking a bit of work as most men would have done under the circumstances.

        While I was doing this, the girls all looked on with great eagerness, praising my work, and endeavoring to flatter me

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into the belief that I was doing magnificently. When I had completed the figure, I pretended that I thought it much too bad to remain, and offered to pick it out. At this, there was a chorus of indignant remonstrance from all the feminines present, and I was, consequently, compelled to let it stand, the young ladies very prettily professing to be lost in admiration, and my old maid, in particular, smiling on my humble effort with touching sweetness.

        There was now an increased effort to win me from my first love; but with a firmness that would have done me infinite credit, had my coat and trowsers rightly represented my sex, I persisted in my preference, leaving it for the colonel and the captain to sustain the credit of the army for gallantry with the other feminine members of the party.

TOKENS OF ESTEEM.

        My rather excessive politeness to the lady in question was not without its ample reward; for when the time for leaving Paris came, she gave me a substantial token of her esteem and of her keen appreciation of my attentions, by putting me up a lunch, consisting of a fried chicken, biscuits, apples, and two bottles of cider, which, if she is still living, and should have the pleasure of reading this narrative, she will learn were keenly enjoyed by my two friends and myself as we journeyed towards Bowling Green.

        So ended the episode of the Paris frolic. It was good fun while it lasted, and it becomes a particularly bright spot in my memory in contrast with the dismal and harrowing scenes by which it was so soon to be succeeded. The Paris girls furnished the colonel, the captain, and myself topics of conversation during a good part of the balance of our journey, and my companions had considerable fun at my expense, on account of my peculiar manner of conducting myself towards the ladies of that village. I took their raillery in good part, of course, smiling to myself at certain amusing incidents, the full significance of which it was impossible for them to understand. Soon, however, all three of us had enough of other things to think of to induce us to dismiss Paris, and the delights of hog-killing, corn-shucking, and quilting-frolics from our minds, and to bend our thoughts to the consideration of matters of more serious interest.

        On arrival at General Hardee's headquarters, I went to him,

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and showing him my commission, stated that I wanted to go into active service as a scout. He said that he thought there would soon be a chance for me; which was so nearly like the answers I had received from a number of other commanders, that I did not feel especially encouraged by it. It really meant about as much as similar remarks made by others, for nothing came of it, and I was compelled to drift about, looking out myself for something to do to kill time while waiting in hope that the current of events would shape themselves in a manner favorable to my idea.

        At this period of the war I could have been employed to very great advantage as a spy, to go to and fro through the lines; and there is no doubt that I could, with comparative ease, have obtained information of the first value to the Confederate commanders. The Federals, as we all knew, were making immense preparations for an important forward movement; and had I been employed as I wanted to be, I could, most likely, have succeeded in saving the Confederates from waiting for defeat to teach them what they ought to have known while making their preparations to meet the enemy.

        Perhaps if General Hardee, and others, had known exactly who and what I was, and what were my particular talents in the line of duty I desired to follow, they would have shown a greater disposition to afford me opportunities to signalize myself. They did see, however, that I was ready, willing, and, apparently, able to work; and I scarcely think that they were blameless in not, at least, giving me a fair trial.

THE FIGHT AT WOODSONVILLE.

        I was bent, however, notwithstanding the disappointment under which I labored, on showing my devotion to the cause of Southern independence; and, in accordance with my general plan of not letting slip an opportunity of being on hand when there was any real, serious work to be done, I took part in the fight at Woodsonville, on Green River, and faced the enemy as valiantly as anybody. In this fight, Colonel Terry, a brave Texan officer, whom I greatly admired, was among the slain.

        The affair at Woodsonville was something of a diversion from the monotony of camp life, but it did not satisfy my ambition or my intense desire for active service; and coming to the conclusion that lounging about Bowling Green and vicinity

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was much too slim a business for me, I decided to shift my quarters to where there was a somewhat better prospect of hard fighting to be done. It was by this time evident that the Federals intended making a determined attempt to capture Forts Henry and Donelson, on the Tennessee and Cumberland Rivers, and as I felt confident that our people would make a brave and desperate resistance, I resolved to go and take a hand in the approaching battle, in the hope that something to my advantage would result from it. If a desire to witness some hard fighting was my chief object in this movement, it was more than gratified, for the horrors of the siege of Donelson far surpassed anything I had yet witnessed, and by the time it was over, I certainly got enough of the excitement of battle to satisfy me for some time to come. Happily for ourselves, we cannot foresee the future, and in blissful ignorance of the agonizing scenes which I would soon be called upon to witness, I started for Fort Donelson with a comparatively light heart, bent only on so demonstrating my devotion to the cause as would compel the recognition of my superiors.

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CHAPTER XIV.

THE FALL OF FORT DONELSON.

        The Spirit of Partisanship.--My Opinions with Regard to the Invincibility of the Southern Soldiers.--Unprepared to sustain the Humiliation of Defeat.--The Beginning of the End.--At Fort Donelson.--The Federal Attack expected.--Preparations for the Defence.--The Garrison confident of their Ability to hold the Fort.--The Difference between Summer and Winter Campaigning.--Enthusiasm supplanted by Hope and Determination.--My Boy Bob and I go to Work in the Trenches.--Too much of a good Thing.--Dirt-Digging not exactly in my Line--The Federals make their Appearance.--The Opening of the Battle.--On picket Duty in the Trenches at Night.--Storm of Snow and Sleet.--The bitter Cold.--Cries and Groans of the Wounded.--My Clothing stiff with Ice.--I find myself giving Way, but manage to endure until the Relief comes.--Terrible Suffering.--Singular Ideas.--A four Days' Battle.--The Confederate Successes on the first and second Days.--The Gunboats driven off.--Desperate Fighting on the third Day.--A breathing Spell.--The Confederates finally driven back into the Fort.--It is resolved to surrender.--Generals Floyd and Pillow make their Escape.--General Buckner surrenders to General Grant.--Terrible Scenes after the Battle is over.--The Ground strewn for Miles with Dead and Dying.--Wounded Men crushed by the artillery Wagons.--The Houses of the Town of Dover filled with Wounded.--My Depression of Spirits on Account of the terrible Scenes I had witnessed.

        I AM a partisan, by instinct and by education. It is an impossibility for me to limit or divide my affections and predilections; and in choosing a side in a great contest like that which was waged between the South and the North, I must do so with my whole heart and soul. Others, abler than myself, may have done more to promote the cause of Southern independence, and may have labored with greater efficiency; but no man or woman in the whole Confederacy was inspired by a more ardent devotion to the cause than myself, or had greater faith in its ultimate success, no matter what odds it might be compelled to contend against. I trusted to my impulses, perhaps, more than to my reason; but every

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strong partisan must do this, in a greater or less degree, and if I miscalculated, or was ignorant of the real power of the North, and of the resources which the Federal government was able to command, I had plenty of companions in my error, for there were thousands who possessed far more perfect means of information than myself, who were quite as eager to enter upon a war without calculating the cost or estimating the consequences.

        The fact was, however, that I did not think of calculating with regard to the probable result of the contest. I had the most exalted opinion of the invincibility of our Southern soldiers, and of the skill of our generals, and I was unable to think of them otherwise than as about to enter upon a career of victory.

        Up to the time of which I am now writing, nearly everything had contributed to the encouragement of my original notions. In both of the great battles in which I had participated the Confederates had been brilliantly successful; and while the permanent results had scarcely been equal to my hopes and expectations, my opinion with regard to Southern invincibility had scarcely received a serious check. My nature and temperament are such, that just as when, amid the excitement of a battle, each combatant in the opposing army becomes for the moment a personal enemy, so in the hour of defeat I am compelled to feel a humiliation as keen as if it was my own alone. Such a humiliation I was very shortly to endure; but, in hurrying towards Fort Donelson, I little knew that I was about to become the spectator of a defeat so crushing and disastrous as for a time to annihilate in my bosom all hope, and which gave a death-blow to the impetuous but untutored enthusiasm with which I had started out.

        I had tasted the sweets of victory, and had felt all the exultation which fills the breast of the soldier after a hard-fought battle in seeing the enemy flee before him, and now I was called upon to taste the bitterness of defeat, and of defeat attended with unspeakable horrors. The capture of Fort Donelson was the beginning of the end, although I hardly so understood it at the time; but soon it was followed by other disasters scarcely less crushing, and the enthusiasm of despair, rather than of hope, was the inspiration not only of myself, but of the whole Southern people during the last three years of the contest.

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Illustration

PLAN OF THE SIEGE OF FORT DONELSON.

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AN ESTIMATE OF THE POSITION.

        When I reached Fort Donelson, General Pillow was in command, and preparations for meeting the enemy were being pushed forward with all possible energy. Fort Henry, on the Tennessee River, about fifteen miles from Fort Donelson, had been captured by the Federals, and Donelson, every one knew, would be the next object of attack, both by land and water. The fortifications were very strong, although, being built for the purpose of commanding the river, they were weaker on the land than on the water side, and the great duty of the hour was the construction of earthworks for the protection of the exposed side. The labor required for the execution of this task was immense, but every one went at it with a good will, and with a feeling of confidence in our ability to give the Federals the repulse that the garrison of Fort Henry had failed to do, although we were certain that they were about to assail us with a very large force, and that they considered the capture of the position a matter of such vital importance that they would spare no effort to accomplish it. While, however, there was the greatest belief in the impregnability of the position, and in the ability of our garrison, composed of Southern soldiers of tried courage and gallantry, to hold it, even against heavy odds, all felt that a desperate and bloody conflict was about to begin, and nerved themselves for the dreadful task before them.

THE TEACHINGS OF EXPERIENCE.

        I entered upon this conflict with far different emotions from those which animated me when about to take part in the battle of Bull Run. Then I was inspired by all the enthusiasm of ignorance, and was, perhaps, animated as much by an intense desire to see what a great battle was like, as by any other feeling. I could not get rid of the idea that the rout of the enemy would mean their annihilation, and the triumphant accomplishment of all the ends for which we had taken up arms. I might have known better than this, if I had thought; but I did not think. I only felt, just like thousands of others. The battle of Bull Run, too, was fought in the middle of summer, in beautiful, clear, July weather; and although fighting the enemy through that long, sultry day, with the blazing sun overhead, was no holiday task,

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and it taxed the energies of officers and men to the utmost to achieve the defeat of the enemy, it was a very different thing from defending a series of earthworks from a combined attack, by land and water, in the dead of winter.

PREMONITIONS OF DEFEAT.

        I had seen much of war and its horrors since the battle of Bull Run, and better comprehended now what serious work it was, and what enormous labor would have to be performed, if the hopes and expectations of the summer were to be realized. In fact, I appreciated the situation from the standpoint of a veteran, rather than from that of the raw recruit. Of enthusiasm, or, at least, such enthusiasm as that by which I was originally inspired, I had little or nothing; but I had hope and determination, and was as much bent upon doing my very best as I was the day I was first under fire. There was something most depressing, however, in the idea of figuring in a desperate conflict in midwinter. The whole proceeding seemed unseasonable, and this peculiar feeling, combined with a singular sense of discomfort and constraint at being shut in fortifications from which there was next to no escape, except by driving off the enemy, or surrendering to him, had a powerful effect in dampening my ardor.

        At the first intimation of these unpleasant feelings coming over me, however, I shook them off with all the resolution I could command, and determined to show myself in every way worthy of the garments I wore, by doing a full man's work, in preparing for the expected attack. There was a great deal that had to be done, and done quickly, in the way of completing the intrenchments, and I made up my mind to lend a hand, as I felt sure that volunteers would be welcome when hard labor like this was to be performed, even if they were not regarded with the best favor by those in authority at other times.

AT WORK IN THE TRENCHES.

        My boy Bob and I, therefore, went into the trenches, and commenced to shovel dirt with all possible energy and good will. In the execution of such a task as this, Bob soon proved himself to be a much better man than I was, and he easily threw two shovelfuls to my one, and was apparently in

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a condition to keep on indefinitely, when I, finding that I had miscalculated my strength, was compelled to desist. There are some things which men can do better than women, and digging intrenchments in the frozen ground is one of them. I was not a very great while in discovering this most important fact, and concluding that I had better try and make myself useful in some other manner, I repaired, with aching back and blistered hands, to the headquarters of General Floyd, who had just arrived with his Virginians, where I lounged about, waiting for events so to shape themselves that I would be able to show my fighting qualities to advantage, for nature had evidently intended me for a warrior rather than for a dirt-digger.

COMMENCEMENT OF THE SIEGE.

        The Federals made their appearance on the afternoon of Wednesday the 12th, and they could be seen at various points through the woods making preparations for commencing their attack by stationing themselves in advantageous positions for the environment of the fort on its land side, while the gunboats were to give us the benefit of their heavy ordnance from the river. These latter we felt very sure of being able to manage with comparative ease, as, indeed, we succeeded in doing; for the fort, as I have before stated, was constructed chiefly with a view to the resistance of an attack upon this side, and our heaviest guns were mounted so as to command the river. The navy, therefore, would have to do some remarkably efficient service if it expected to make any marked impression on us, and the chief anxiety of our officers and men was on account of the comparative weakness of the land defences. But even these, such was the confidence all had in the proverbial Southern valor, it was believed we would be able to hold successfully.

        The battle opened on Thursday, February 13, 1862, and, as if to increase the discomforts and sufferings of the combatants, the weather, which had been quite moderate and pleasant, suddenly became intensely cold. On Thursday night, about eight o'clock, a tremendous storm of snow and sleet came on, to the full fury of which I was exposed; for a young officer, who wanted to take French leave for the night, had taken advantage of my eagerness for active service, and made an arrangement for me to go on picket duty for him in

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the trenches. I was less fitted to stand this kind of exposure than many of my comrades, for, independently of my sex, I was born and brought up in a semi-tropical climate, and although inured to hardships during the months I had been figuring as a soldier, I was but indifferently qualified to endure the sufferings of this terrible night.

ON PICKET DUTY AT NIGHT.

        When entering upon a soldier's career, however, I was animated by a stern resolve not to shirk any duty I might be called on to undertake, no matter how arduous or uncongenial it might be; and although I was, on this occasion, really intruding myself where I did not belong, my pride would not have permitted me to back down, even had I fully appreciated, before starting for the trenches, what I would have to go through with before I could return to shelter again. As for the person whose duty I had undertaken to perform, he undoubtedly thought himself particularly lucky in getting rid of such an ugly job, and I fancy that he considered me a fool for the eagerness I displayed to get into a scrape for his benefit. I hope he managed to have a good time during the long hours of that dreadful night, for in spite of what I suffered I bore him no hard feelings.

        If repentance for my rashness in resolving to play a soldier's part in the war was ever to overcome me, however, now was the time; and I confess that, as the sleet stung my face, and the biting winds cut me to the bones, I wished myself well out of it, and longed for the siege to be over in some shape, even if relief came only through defeat. The idea of defeat, however, was too intolerable to be thought of, and I banished it from my mind whenever it occurred to me, and argued with myself that I was no better than the thousands of brave men around, who were suffering from these wintry blasts as much as I.

A NIGHT OF HORROR.

        The agonized cries of the wounded, and their piteous calls for water, really affected me more than my own discomfort; and had it not been for the heart-rending sounds that greeted my ear every moment, I could, perhaps, have succeeded better than I did in bearing up under the horrors of the night with some degree of equanimity. Every now and then a shriek

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would be uttered that would strike terror to my soul, and make my blood run cold, as the fiercest fighting I had ever seen had not been able to do. I could face the cannon better than I could this bitter weather, and I could suffer myself better than I could bear to hear the cries and groans of these wounded men, lying out on the frozen ground, exposed to the beatings of this pitiless storm. Several times I felt as if I could stand it no longer, and was tempted to give the whole thing up, and lie down upon the ground and die; but, although my clothing was perfectly stiff with ice, and I ached in every limb from the cold, I succeeded in rallying myself whenever I found these fits of despondency coming over me, and stood my ground to the last.

        I understood, from this brief but sufficient experience, what must have been the sufferings of the army of Napoleon, on the retreat from Moscow; and the story of that retreat, which had hitherto seemed to me more like a romance than a narrative of actual occurrences, was now presented to my mind as a terrible reality. I even tried to find some consolation in thinking that, after all, it was only for a few hours that I would be called upon to endure, while the soldiers in that most disastrous retreat were for weeks exposed to all the severities of an almost Arctic winter, in their long march over desert plains, but was forced to the conclusion that reflecting on the woes of others is but an indifferent alleviation of our own.

FANTASTIC IDEAS.

        In such a situation as the one I am describing, the most singular ideas run through one's mind. The minutes are lengthened out into hours, and the hours into days, until the reckoning of time is lost; and as the past seems to fade away into a remoteness that makes the painlessness of yesterday appear like the fragment of a happy dream, so the future, when it will all be over, and the commonplace routine of uneventful every-day life will commence again, is as far off as a child's imagination pictures heaven to be. We actually catch ourselves wondering whether it has always been so, and whether it will always be so until we die, and when we die, whether eternity will have anything better to offer. Little incidents in our past lives, of no possible moment, and which had perhaps never been thought of from the date of their occurrence, present themselves suddenly, with astonishing

Illustration

ON DUTY AT FORT DONELSON.

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vividness, to the memory. The mental and the physical beings seem to be engaged in a contest for the mastery, and as the numbness of the half-frozen limbs increases, the brain shapes more and more fantastic ideas, and if the terrible contest is too long protracted, and the strain upon the endurance is not removed, fantasy develops into madness, and madness swiftly results in death.

        More than once I felt myself giving way; more than once I detected my mind wandering off strangely from the surroundings of the moment; but, by a resolute effort of will, and by an indomitable determination not to succumb, I succeeded in sustaining myself until my relief came, and I was able to seek shelter and the repose I so sorely needed.

THE PROGRESS OF THE BATTLE.

        The battle lasted four days and nights, and, although the Confederates fought with desperate valor, they were at length compelled to yield, and the humiliation of defeat was added to the unspeakable sufferings which the conduct of a fierce and prolonged contest like this, in the middle of a winter of unparalleled severity, entailed upon them. Fortune, which had favored the side of the Confederacy in the battles in which I had heretofore been engaged, was against us now, however, and in spite of the fierce resistance which the garrison made to the Federal attacks, the result was, that nothing was left for us to do but surrender.

        The results of the first day's fighting were favorable to us, the Federals being repulsed at all points, and we all felt tolerably sure that we would be able either to drive them off, or to cut our way through their lines.

THE GUNBOATS BROUGHT INTO ACTION.

        On Friday, the forces on the land side, evidently discouraged by their ill luck of the day before, did not attempt any very serious demonstrations. It was now the turn of the gunboats to try what they could do towards driving us out of the fort. The navy, however, did not have any better success than the army. In the afternoon the boats advanced up the river, and commenced to shell our works, but they inflicted on us no particular damage, while our fire told on them with terrible effect. The contest between the batteries

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and the gunboats continued for about an hour and a half, at the end of which time we had the satisfaction of seeing them drift down the river, evidently very badly cut up. So the end of the second day's battle was in favor of the Confederates.

        In the mean time, however, the besieging army was receiving large re-enforcements, and was apparently preparing to renew the attack on the land side with increased vigor.

THE CONFEDERATE SORTIE.

        With characteristic energy, the Confederate commanders resolved not to wait to be attacked, but to sally from the fort, and strike the enemy a deadly blow. The sortie was gallantly made, and our soldiers fell upon their antagonists with a fury that made them recoil. The contest was conducted with terrible vigor on both sides for some hours, and our men succeeded in driving back the Federals, with great loss. They, however, were unable to follow up their advantage, and there came a lull in the storm of battle, during which both armies seemed to be taking breath, preparatory to renewing the fight with greater ferocity than ever.

        At length the Federals rallied, and stormed the intrenchments with a much larger force than before, and, after a severe struggle, the Confederates were driven back into the fort, leaving hundreds of the dead and wounded lying on the frozen ground. By this time our ranks had been so thinned out, that every one felt it would be madness to continue the contest longer against the greatly superior force of the enemy. We had fought, and fought gallantly, doing all that soldiers could do to maintain ourselves; but, in spite of the desperate valor that the garrison had displayed, defeat stared us in the face, and it would have been useless bloodshed to have attempted a prolongation of the battle. The Federals, for this once, at least, were masters of the field, and all we cared longer to do was to get as many of our men as possible away before the surrender took place, and to retrieve the disaster by meeting the enemy under more auspicious circumstances another time.

DEPARTURE OF FLOYD AND PILLOW.

        I felt the most profound pity for General Floyd, when he found that further resistance was useless, and that the fort

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must be given up to the enemy. He actually shed tears, and both he and General Pillow seemed borne down by the keenest humiliation, when, after turning over the command to General Buckner, they embarked their men hurriedly on the boats at night, and effected their escape. Every one knew that they could do no good by remaining, and that, by so doing, they would only give so many more prisoners to the exultant victors; but many of those who were left behind seemed to consider their departure as cowardly, and as an attempt to shirk danger, and greeted them with hisses and groans as they embarked. I was indignant at this, for I knew that they had done all that could have been expected of them, and that for them to participate in the surrender would only increase the extent of the disaster, and add to the importance of the Federal victory.

        This was undoubtedly one of the most terrible battles of the whole war, the fact of its having been fought in the midst of an unusually severe winter serving to increase its horrors tenfold. Towards the last, the contest between the besiegers and besieged was hand to hand, both sides contending for the mastery with a ferocity which I cannot pretend to command words to describe. Again and again were the Federals repulsed from the works, and, at some points, they were so much cut up that it seemed impossible for them to rally again. Re-enforcements of fresh troops, however, came continually to the relief of the defeated assailants, while each hour thinned out the garrison terribly. After every repulse, the enemy advanced to the attack with increased force, or made a furious assault in a new place, and by the time General Buckner surrendered the fort to General Grant, the vicinity of the earthworks, for miles around, presented a sickening spectacle of devastation and human suffering.

AFTER THE BATTLE.

        In every direction the ground was trampled by thousands of feet, was cut up by the artillery carriages, and was strewn with dead horses and men, and with all kinds of munitions of war. In many of the trenches, especially where the fiercest fighting had taken place, the bodies were heaped together, six or seven feet high, and the faces of the corpses, distorted with the agonies of their death struggles, were hideous to look at. Those who fell, and died where they were shot, were

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comparatively fortunate, for their sufferings were soon ended. It was sickening, however, to think of the many poor fellows who, after fighting bravely, and falling helpless from their wounds, had their lives crushed out, and their forms mangled beyond recognition, by the furiously driven artillery.

        All the houses in the town of Dover were filled with the wounded, and the air was fairly alive with the groans. Dr. Moore, and other surgeons, did their best to alleviate the sufferings of the victims of cruel war; but the best they could do was but little. Some of the men, with their limbs fearfully mangled, pleaded most piteously not to have them amputated, many of them stating that they preferred death to this new torture. Others could do no more than groan, or utter such cries as "God help me;" while not a few besought the surgeons to kill them, and end their misery. It was no wonder Dr. Moore said that it was no place for women, and that it was as much as the strong nerves of a man could do to bear up under such an accumulation of horrors.

        More accustomed to such scenes than most women, and better able to face the terrible sights by which I was surrounded, I endeavored, notwithstanding I was worn out, bodily and mentally, and was overwhelmed in spirit by the fearful disaster which had overtaken the Confederate arms, to aid, as much as lay in my power, to make the wounded men as comfortable as possible, until I saw that, if I intended to escape, I must do so at once.

        Although the horrors of a great battle like this affected me greatly at the time of their occurrence, still the excitement enabled me to bear up, and it was not until after a battle was over, and I was compelled to reflect, that I fully realized what a fearful thing this human slaughtering was. Immediately after the defeat at Fort Donelson, especially, I was greatly depressed in spirit, and it was long before I could shake off the disposition to shudder, and the feeling of intense melancholy, that overcame me to such an extent, that I almost resolved to give up the whole business, and to never allow myself to be put in the way of witnessing anything of the kind again.

        In course of time, however, this feeling wore off, and as, with restored health,--for I was quite sick from the exposures, fatigues, and horrors of the battle,--my spirits regained their elasticity, my restless disposition would not let me remain inactive while so many exciting scenes were being

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enacted around me, and while the fate of the Confederacy was trembling in the balance. If I did not forget the horrors of Fort Donelson, they erelong ceased to oppress me, and I was as ready as ever to do my share of any fighting that was going on. It was never my disposition to brood over misfortunes, and, although this one affected me deeply for a season, I succeeded in overcoming its effects, and, after a little rest and recuperation, was ready to resume my life of adventure as a soldier of fortune.

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CHAPTER V.

DETECTION AND ARREST IN NEW ORLEANS.

        Taking a Rest at Nashville.--Again on the March.--I join General A. S. Johnston's Army.--Wounded in a Skirmish.--Am afraid of having my Sex discovered, and leave suddenly for New Orleans.--In New Orleans I am suspected of being a Spy, and am arrested.--The Officer who makes the Arrest in Doubt.--The Provost Marshal orders my Release.--I am again arrested by the Civil Authorities on Suspicion of being a Woman.--No Way out of the Scrape but to reveal my Identity.--Private Interview with Mayor Monroe.--The Mayor fines and imprisons me.--I enlist as a private Soldier.--On arriving at Fort Pillow, obtain a Transfer to the Army of East Tennessee.

        FROM Fort Donelson I went, with what speed I could, to Nashville, and took rooms at the St. Cloud Hotel. I was utterly used up from fatigue, exposure, anxiety, and bitter disappointment; and both I and my negro boy Bob--who had been taken quite sick during the battle--needed an opportunity to thoroughly rest ourselves. It was an immense relief to reach a good hotel, where I could have a shelter over my head, a comfortable bed, and wholesome food; but such was the restlessness of my disposition, and the agitation of my mind, on account of the terrible scenes through which I had just passed, that I could not keep quiet; and scarcely had I recovered a little from my fatigue, than I was eager to be in motion again.

THE EXCITEMENT IN NASHVILLE.

        Nashville was in an intense state of excitement over the unexpected result of the attack upon Fort Donelson; and, stimulated, perhaps, as much by the turmoil around me, and by the apprehensions that were felt by every one, lest the Federals should follow up their success by marching on the city, my old eagerness to be an active participant in the contest which was being waged, returned with all its former force, and I was

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soon as anxious as ever to do a soldier's full duty. If the Federals were to be effectively resisted, and the defeat of Donelson retrieved, there was but one course for the friends of the Confederacy, whether soldiers or citizens, to pursue, and strenuous exertion was the duty which the exigencies of the situation enforced upon every one. I felt that this was not the time for me to shirk the responsibilities I had voluntarily assumed, for if ever my services were needed, they were needed now. After a very brief repose at the St. Cloud, therefore, I was ready to brave the hardships and dangers of the battle-field again.

        Sending my negro boy to Grand Junction in charge of a friend, I went to the headquarters of General Albert Sydney Johnston, and upon asking for employment, was put in the detective corps. There was plenty of work for everybody to do, for the fall of Fort Donelson had rendered it necessary that the whole Southern army should fall back for the purpose of taking up a new line, and I had no reason to complain of a lack of activity, although the activity of a retreat was not exactly what I most admired. I was not very long in getting my fighting blood up again; but, unfortunately, my combative propensities, this time, had a somewhat serious result, which compelled me to abandon the line of duty I had chosen, and to disappear from the sight of my new associates.

WOUNDED.

        While participating in a skirmish with the enemy, who were harassing us whenever an opportunity offered, I was wounded in the foot. This lamed me, and compelled me to have the hurt dressed by the surgeon, at which I was not a little alarmed, for I knew that I was now in imminent danger of having my sex discovered. The wound was not a very severe one, and I probably magnified its importance; but the circumstances were such that it could scarcely have a fair chance to heal speedily if I remained in the field, and dreading the prospect of being for a long period under the care of the surgeon, who would be much more likely to suspect me than any one else, I resolved that the only course for me to pursue was to abandon the army before I got into trouble.

        I therefore availed myself of the earliest possible opportunity to take French leave, and quietly slipped away to Grand Junction, where I remained for three days, and then, in company

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with my boy Bob, repaired to Jackson, Mississippi. At Jackson I hired Bob out, as I wanted to get rid of him for a while, having in my mind certain plans, in the execution of which it would have been an incumbrance for him to have been with me. Bob being disposed of in a satisfactory manner, I hastened, without further delay, to New Orleans, and took up my quarters at the Brooks House.

        By abandoning the army, however, and going to New Orleans at this particular juncture, I was, to use a homely phrase, jumping out of the frying-pan into the fire. Rigid as was army discipline, and strict as were the precautions taken to prevent treachery and the surveillance of spies, I had managed to sustain myself in the army as an independent without difficulty, and was on the best possible terms with everybody. In New Orleans, on the other hand, I found the spirit of suspicion rampant. Confidence in the ability of the city to defend itself against the impending Federal attack was expressed on all sides, but the fact that an attempt was undoubtedly to be made, before a great while, for its reduction, and the uncertainty with regard to the exact nature of the blow, or the exact direction from which it would fall, caused an uneasiness that could not be disguised. The Federals were known to be mustering an enormous fleet at the mouth of the river, and a large army on the Sound, and my surmises of months before, based upon what I had heard in Washington, were, apparently, about to be realized.

NEW ORLEANS APPREHENSIVE OF AN ATTACK.

        While the city was in this condition of suspense, each man looked more or less askance at his neighbor, and the fear of Federal spies was a feeling that preponderated over all others in the hearts of many. People who, in war time, don't do any fighting, are, according to my experience, as bellicose in their language as they are cowardly in the face of real danger, making up in suspiciousness and vindictiveness what they lack in valor. It was not to be wondered at, therefore, that I speedily got myself into serious trouble, to escape the consequences of which I was compelled to resort to some desperate shifts.

        I did not at all appreciate the situation when I went to New Orleans. When I entered Washington it was as a spy, and I consequently had all my wits about me; but in New Orleans

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I thought I was among my friends, and very imprudently neglected ordinary precautions for avoiding difficulties.

        During the eight or nine months I had been wearing male attire, I had, as the reader is aware, seen a great deal of very hard service. My clothing was well worn, and my apparatus for disguising my form was badly out of order; and the result was, that I scarcely presented as creditable a manly appearance as I did upon the occasion of my last visit to New Orleans. I had, too, by this time become so much accustomed to male attire that I ceased to bear in my mind, constantly, the absolute necessity for preserving certain appearances, and had grown careless about a number of little matters that, when attended to properly, aided materially in maintaining my incognito. In addition to all this, I was in very low spirits, if not absolutely sick, when I reached New Orleans, and was not in a mood to play my part in the best manner.

MY ARREST AS A SPY.

        I had not been in the city very long before it was noted by prying people that there was some mystery about me, and for any one to have a mystery just then, was equivalent to falling under the ban of both military and civic authorities. I, of course, imagining no evil, was not prepared for a demonstration against me, and was accordingly thunderstruck when I was arrested on the charge of being a spy, and taken before the provost marshal.

        Terror, dismay, and indignation struggled for mastery with me when this outrage, as I considered it, was perpetrated. My great secret, I feared, was now on the point of being discovered; and if it was discovered, the probabilities were that I would be unable any longer to continue the career I had marked out for myself. I was enraged at the idea of being charged with acting as a spy, and of having my patriotism doubted after all I had done to promote the cause of Southern independence; and at the same time I appreciated the difficulties and dangers of the situation, and puzzled my brain to devise a plan for getting myself out of a very ugly scrape. Reviewing the matter very rapidly in my own mind, I determined that the best, if not the only plan, was to present a bold front, and to challenge my accusers to prove anything against me, reserving a revelation of my identity as a last alternative.

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        I entered a vigorous protest against the whole proceeding to the officer who made the arrest, and I could see, from his hesitating and indecisive manner, that he was in possession of no definite charge against me, and was inclined to be dubious about the propriety or legality of his action. This encouraged me, and induced me to believe that I might be able to brave the thing through; but I resolved, if I did get clear, to cut my visit to New Orleans as short as possible. My protest, however, was of no avail, so far as procuring an instantaneous release was concerned, for the officer insisted upon my accompanying him to the office of the provost marshal.

A DELICATE SITUATION.

        While on my way to the provost marshal's, my conductor questioned me closely, but I gave him such answers as evidently increased his uneasy feelings, and I soon saw that he was beginning to seriously doubt whether he was doing exactly the correct thing in making the arrest. Finally, he proposed to release me; but to this I objected in very decided terms, and insisted on knowing exactly what accusations there were against me.

        To the office of the provost marshal we accordingly went, and, after a very few questions, that official decided, with gratifying promptness, that there was no justification for holding me, and ordered my discharge from custody.

        This appeared to astonish the individual who had made the arrest very much, and it was evident that he was repenting of his rashness, and was anxious to get out of an unpleasant predicament the best way he could.

        I enjoyed his discomfiture immensely, and, turning to him with all the dignity I could command, I demanded his name. This, with very evident reluctance, he at length gave me, and making him a stiff bow, I said, in a quiet but threatening manner, "I will see you again about this matter, sir," as I walked out of the office.

MY SEX SUSPECTED.

        In spite of my bravado, however, this incident gave me a great deal of uneasiness, for I saw that I was in a dangerous predicament, and was liable at any moment to get into further trouble. I was not much surprised, therefore, although greatly disgusted, when the next evening I was again arrested, this

Illustration

OPERATIONS IN LOUISIANA

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time on suspicion of being a woman. Now what I had so long dreaded was come to pass, and there was nothing to do but to get out of the difficulties which environed me the best way I could.

        Being taken before Mayor Monroe, I was interrogated by that individual in a style that I did not at all admire. It seemed to me that he was assuming a certain lordliness of manner that did not sit gracefully upon him, and that was entirely uncalled for by the exigencies of the occasion.

        My replies to the queries of the mayor were not satisfactory to him, for his very imperious and pompous bearing made me angry, and rather put me on my mettle. He consequently chose to assume that I was a woman, and ordered me to change my apparel.

        I, however, was resolved not to give up without a severe contest, having made up my mind, on assuming male attire, not to acknowledge my sex except in the last extremity, and for the sake of securing ends that could not otherwise be accomplished. So, turning to Mr. Monroe, I said, with a dignified severity quite equal to his own, "Sir, prove that I am a woman; it will be quite time, when you do that, for you to give me an order to change my dress."

THE MAYOR PUZZLED.

        This rather disconcerted the mayor and his satellites; and, watching their countenances closely, I saw that they were nonplussed, and were doubtful how to proceed, being uncertain whether or not they had made a mistake. My hopes of a prompt discharge, however, were doomed to disappointment, for the mayor, after a brief consultation, decided to remand me to the calaboose, until it should be settled to his satisfaction who I was, and whether I was a man or a woman. To the calaboose I accordingly went, horrified at being subjected to such an indignity, and with anything but pleasant or friendly feelings towards the mayor, and the meddlesome, prying busybodies who had been instrumental in getting me into this trouble.

        The circumstances of the case having, in the mean time, become generally known, I was visited the next morning by a local reporter, who showed a very eager desire to find out all he could about me, for the purpose of writing a sensational article for the paper with which he was connected. As may

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be imagined, this sort of thing did not increase my amiability, or tend to make me bear my misfortunes in a philosophical spirit. I gave Mr. Reporter very little satisfaction, shaping my conversation with him with a view of inducing him to believe that a great mistake had been committed, and that I was the victim of a very unjust persecution.

        The reporter was troublesome, but I was not alarmed at him, as I was at my next visitor, Dr. Root, of the Charity Hospital. This gentleman, I knew, would be much more difficult to deal with; and before he got through with questioning me, I was convinced, from his manner, that his mind was made up with regard to me. I felt sure that the easiest and best method, indeed, the only method I could safely adopt, was to confess frankly to the mayor that I was really a woman, trusting that this fact being settled in a manner satisfying to his magisterial dignity, he would have no further pretext for keeping me in confinement, and would order my release.

        I therefore wrote a note to his honor, requesting a private interview. This request he granted, and without any more equivocation I told him who I was, and gave him what I hoped would be satisfactory reasons for assuming the garb I wore. My confession having been made, I next endeavored to treat with the mayor for an immediate release, promising to leave the city so soon as liberated, my idea being to return to military life forthwith, as I had had quite enough of New Orleans for the present.

A FINE AND IMPRISONMENT.

        Mr. Monroe, however, having gotten me in his clutches, was not disposed to let me go so easily, and he said that he would be compelled to fine me ten dollars, and to sentence me to ten days' imprisonment--a decision that did not increase my good opinion of him, for absolutely nothing had been brought up against my character or my conduct, and I could not, and do not now, see the justice or propriety of such a proceeding.

        I thought that this was pretty rough treatment, considering all that I had done to serve the Confederacy. From the outbreak of the war I had been on active duty in the face of the enemy, and had taken part in some of the hardest fought battles in the war, while my persecutor had remained at home enjoying his ease, and taking good care to keep out of danger. To prove this to him, as I could easily have done by procuring

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testimonials from my numerous friends in the army, would have ruined all my hopes and expectations for the future, however, for, in spite of my present unpleasant situation, I was resolved not to give the thing up. So I concluded that the best plan was to suffer in silence, and to allow the mayor to have what satisfaction he could get out of my ten dollars--I wonder if any of it went into the city treasury?--and out of keeping me incarcerated for ten days.

        Resolving to be as patient as I could, and to be even with Mr. Monroe some day, if ever a good opportunity presented itself, I consoled myself with the idea that my term of imprisonment was a short one, and would soon be over. I was dreadfully tired of it, however, before the hour of release arrived; and each day my indignation at such an unwarranted outrage increased. The more I thought over the matter the less was I able to see that there was any valid reason for my being subjected to such treatment. At length, after long and impatient waiting, I was free once more; and now the problem was to get out of New Orleans as quickly as possible, before I was recognized by too many people, and in such disguise that I would be able to follow the bent of my inclinations without hinderance.

        Exactly how to manage this, I had some difficulty in determining; but as the situation was a somewhat desperate one, I was ready to resort to a desperate measure to accomplish my ends. I felt sure that once more with the army I would be safe; but, with so many suspicious people watching me, it would be, I knew, extremely difficult to get away as I had come, and to enter upon my old career as an independent, without questioning or hinderance. It was therefore necessary for me to smuggle myself, so to speak, among the soldiers again, and I hit upon an expedient for doing so, which, although I felt that it was risky, I resolved to try, and to take my chances for getting out of a new difficulty in case I should fall into one.

I ENLIST.

        As soon as possible, therefore, after obtaining my release, I proceeded to the recruiting office at the corner of Jefferson and Chatham Streets, and enlisted in Captain B. Moses' company, of the twenty-first Louisiana regiment. The next day we started for Fort Pillow, to join the balance of the regiment.

        In this manner I contrived to get clear of New Orleans, but,

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as I had no fancy for going on duty as a private soldier any longer than was absolutely necessary, although the regiment of which I was a member was as gallant a one as ever went into battle, and my comrades were, most of them, pleasant, agreeable fellows, my next thought was to resume my independent footing at the earliest moment. I therefore went privately to General Villipigue, and, showing my commission, told a plausible story to account for my enlistment, and asked him to give me employment as an officer. The officers and men of the regiment, of course, knew nothing of my being in possession of this document, or of my previous history. General Villipigue was not able to do anything for me, as there were no vacancies, and I therefore applied for a transfer to the army of East Tennessee, and was very cheerfully granted it.

        This was the first time I had ever been regularly mustered into the service, and the step was taken, not from choice, but for the purpose of escaping from the surveillance of Mayor Monroe and the Provost Marshal, two individuals whom, after a very brief acquaintance, I did not particularly care to know more intimately. I had many regrets in parting from the officers and men of the twenty-first regiment, whom I had learned to like very much in the short time I had been with them, but I felt that my interests demanded a removal to another locality. Consequently, so soon as I received my papers, I said adieu to my new friends, and was off with all possible speed.

        I was not in a very happy frame of mind, and my physical condition was scarcely better than my mental. The occurrences of the weeks that had just passed had not been of the most pleasurable character, and my personal difficulties in New Orleans, coming as they did when I had not recovered from the mental and bodily suffering caused by the contest at Fort Donelson, did not have the eject of making me view life from its bright side. After the episode of a ten days' sojourn in prison, however, it was a great relief for me to feel that I had my destiny in my own hands once more; and at the prospect of again entering upon a life of adventure that would afford me opportunities for winning distinction, my spirit rose, and I was disposed to dismiss the past, with all its unpleasantnesses, and to make a fresh start with all the energy I could command.

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CHAPTER XVI.

AN UNFORTUNATE LOVE AFFAIR.

        Again at Memphis.--Public and private Difficulties.--Future Prospects.--Arrival of my Negro Boy and Baggage from Grand Junction.--A new uniform Suit.--Prepared once more to face the World.--I fall in with an old Friend.--An Exchange of Compliments.--Late Hours.--Some of the Effects of Late Hours.--Confidential Communications.--The Course of true Love runs not smooth.--I renew my Acquaintance with General Lucius M. Polk.--The General disposed to be friendly.--My Friend and I call on his Lady-love and her Sister.--Surprising Behavior of the young Lady.--A genuine Love-letter.--A secret disclosed.--Incidents of a Buggy Ride.--A Declaration of Love.--Lieutenant H. T. Buford as a Lady-killer.--Why should Women not pop the Question as well as Men?--A melancholy Disclosure for my Friend.--I endeavor to encourage him.--A Visit to the Theatre and an enjoyable Evening.--I meet a Friend from New Orleans, and endeavor to remove any Suspicions with regard to my Identity from his Mind.--Progress of my Love-affair with Miss M.--The young Lady and I have our Pictures taken.--I proceed to Corinth for the Purpose of taking Part in the expected Battle.--The Confederate Army advances from Corinth towards Pittsburg Landing.

        HAVING secured my transportation and transfer papers, I went to Memphis by the first boat, and was erelong once again at my original starting-point, but in a much less enviable mood than when I had last visited it. Then I was dissatisfied with the way in which things seemed to be going, and especially with the--as it appeared to me-- very unnecessary and vexatious difficulties that presented themselves whenever I attempted to secure such a position as would enable me to labor with the most efficiency. My confidence in the sacredness of the cause, in the ability of the Southern armies to sustain it, and its ultimate triumph, were, however, unbroken, notwithstanding that I believed precious time was being wasted, and that, through a mistaken policy, the Confederates were compelled to stand upon the defensive,

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when they ought to have assumed the aggressive, and attacked the enemy on his own ground.

        Now, however, things had changed. The terrible disaster at Fort Donelson had been a rude blow to my ideas of Southern invincibility in the field, and if it did not induce me to despair, it certainly opened my eyes to the magnitude of the task we had on hand, and compelled me to recognize the fact, that we were contending with a resolute and powerful enemy, whose resources were enormously superior to ours, and who was evidently bent upon crushing us to the earth, and compelling us to submit to his dictation. All the fine dreams of the previous summer were dissipated into thin air, but there still remained the consolation, that during the bitter struggle yet to come, there would doubtless be plenty of opportunities for me to serve the cause with efficiency, and to win personal glory by my performances.

        I had a certain grim satisfaction, too, in thinking that, as things were going, my ambition to do some genuine hard work would scarcely be so lightly regarded in certain quarters as it had been, and that my zeal would consequently be recognized and rewarded as I thought that it deserved to be.

DIFFICULTIES OF MY POSITION.

        Apart altogether from the disappointments incident to the military situation, were my private difficulties. My sex had been discovered; and notwithstanding my motives for assuming male attire, and my exemplary conduct while doing a soldier's duty, I had been subjected to gross indignities, simply because I chose to perform a man's, rather than a woman's work. This galled me, especially as my secret having once been revealed, it would now be more than ever difficult for me to figure successfully as a man, and I knew that I would constantly be in danger of detection.

        Notwithstanding this, however, I was undismayed, and was resolved upon carrying out my original programme, so far as was practicable, and only sought a field of operations where I would be able to follow the bent of my inclinations with as little probability as possible of being interfered with.

        Having accomplished my object in leaving New Orleans, and of maintaining a masculine appearance in doing so, I was encouraged to believe that I would be able, by a little discreet management, to get along without a repetition of the troubles

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I had encountered in that city, that in the sharp fighting about to occur between the contending armies, I would be able to show my qualities as a soldier to even greater advantage than hitherto, and that amid the excitements of the battle-field and the camp I would forget, or at least cease to think about, the unpleasant things of the past.

        So soon as I arrived at Memphis, I telegraphed to Grand Junction for my baggage and my servant, and then went to the tailor, and giving him an order for an officer's uniform suit, with instructions to have it ready at the earliest possible moment, borrowed from him a coat to wear until my new clothing should be ready. I discarded my soldier's jacket with quite as much satisfaction as had inspired me on assuming it, and prepared myself to wait, with what equanimity I could command, the moment when I might be able to figure once more in the eyes of both sexes as the dashing young independent, Lieutenant Harry T. Buford. Clothing, and particular cuts of clothing, have a great deal to do towards making us all, men or women, appear what we would like the world to take us for; and as, although my borrowed coat answered a temporary purpose very well, it did not show me off to the best advantage, I resolved to keep out of sight as much as possible until the tailor had executed his task. I was really not sorry for an opportunity to shut myself up for a day or two, so that I could take a thorough rest, and think, without being interrupted, what was the best plan of action for the immediate future.

MY NEGRO BOY BOB.

        The next night, about eleven o'clock, my faithful boy Bob arrived with my baggage, and was delighted to see me again, although my haggard appearance evidently surprised and shocked him. Poor fellow! He little knew what I had passed through since I had parted with him.

        "Why, Mas' Harry," he said, "you do look dreadful bad. Has you been sick?"

        "Yes, Bob," I replied. "I have been quite ill since I left you, but I am getting quite well now, and am ready to go for the Yankees again."

        Bob's eyes sparkled at this, for he was beginning to love fighting almost as much as myself, although the experiences of Fort Donelson had served to extinguish a good deal of the

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martial ardor that was burning in his heart. I told him enough about my movements since I had seen him last to gratify his curiosity, and to enable him to make satisfactory answers in case any one should question him; and then, giving him orders to call a hack, we drove to the Gegora House, where I took rooms, and prepared to have as good a time as circumstances would permit.

IN UNIFORM AGAIN.

        My new uniform suit was ready at the appointed time, and I hastened to array myself in it. Making my toilet with more than usual care, and rearranging my mustache and imperial, which had become somewhat demoralized of late, I took a cane in hand, and strolled out to see what was to be seen, not without a little trepidation, but feeling, on the whole, better satisfied with myself and with things in general than I had done for a long time.

        After stepping in and out of a number of the principal saloons and drinking-places, I finally came across a friend whom I was really very glad to meet. This was Lieutenant Philip Hastings, a whole-souled fellow, for whom I had an especial liking, and whom I accordingly greeted with great cordiality. Hastings returned my greeting in an equally cordial manner. Shaking me by the hand, he said, "I am glad to see you, old fellow. What is the good news with you? Where are you from?"

        "I am just from the Gulf City," I replied.

        "Ah," said he; "what is there new there? Did you have a good time? I suppose you were on a leave of absence."

        "O, yes," said I; "I always manage to have a pretty good time wherever I go."

A DELICATE SUBJECT.

        Said Hastings, looking at me sharply, "I see you have been raising a new crop of mustaches."

        I am afraid that I smiled in a rather sickly manner at this; but putting on as bold an air as I could command, I gave the ornaments of my upper lip a twist, to let him see that they were on tight, and said, "Yes, I have been letting them rush a little; the girls tell me they are an improvement."

        Hastings then asked me where I was going; and I replied,

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that I expected to join Beauregard's army, but that my plans were a little uncertain, as I was unfortunately an independent, who belonged nowhere in particular; and that, as the commanding officers were getting so confoundedly strict with regard to a good many things, while they were not half strict enough about others of more consequence, I was not sure where I would bring up. I added, that I was at present in the detective corps, and offered to serve him in any way in my power. He thanked me; and then I asked him how he was getting along, and what time he had been stationed in Memphis.

        He informed me that he had been on duty there about three months, but that he expected to be ordered to the front very soon.

        After a little more conversation of this sort, Hastings said, "I am trying to marry a mighty pretty girl here, but I don't somehow get along with her as well as I could wish. She is a good girl, just as good as they get to be, and she has a deucedly pretty sister, about fifteen years of age, who I think would suit you. They are not rich, but they are mighty nice, and I would like to introduce you."

        "Well, Phil," said I, "I am willing--anything to pass the time pleasantly."

        "Well, let's take a drink," said Hastings, "and we will go and see them."

AFTER VISITING HOURS.

        Hastings had been taking something before I met him, and as I had treated just after we met, this additional drink had the effect of making him rather livelier than the law allowed. He took a brandy smash, and a full-sized one, while I, according to custom, drank cider. Then lighting our cigars, we strolled down the street, my companion bent on making the proposed call. I knew, however, that it must be past visiting hours, and, stopping under a lamp-post, pulled out my watch, and, glancing at it, asked him if he knew what time it was.

        "O, it's not late," said he; "about eleven o'clock; they won't be gone to bed yet."

        I showed him the dial of the watch, and he exclaimed, "Thunder and lightning! Why, it's one o'clock."

        Notwithstanding the lateness of the hour, however, he was very much disposed to insist on going to see the ladies, but

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finally I succeeded in persuading him of the impropriety of such a course, although he yielded very unwillingly. He then wanted to go and make a night of it somewhere; and on my refusing, started off by himself, I being unable to induce him to go home and get in bed. I did, however, talk him into letting me take charge of his money, with the exception of his small change, and on the plea that I had promised to meet a friend at the hotel, contrived to get away from him. I disliked very much to let Phil go off by himself in the condition he was in, but as he was just enough under the influence of what he had imbibed to be troublesome, and was bent upon having what he called, some fun, my own safety demanded that I should leave him. My New Orleans experience had been a severe one, and it was much too fresh in my memory for me to be willing to run any unnecessary risks of being arrested on similar charges in Memphis, especially as I felt certain that it would not be so easy to get out of the clutches of the authorities a second time, while my future prospects would, in all probability, be irreparable damaged. So, cautioning my friend to take good care of himself, I went back to the hotel as fast as I could, and was soon asleep.

MISPLACED AFFECTION.

        The next morning Phil came around to the hotel to claim his money, which amounted to over two thousand dollars in Confederate bills. He did not look as fresh as he might have done if he had followed the good advice I gave him the night before, was in a somewhat repentent mood, and, as people when feeling rather badly through their own indiscretion are apt to feel, he was very confidential about a variety of private affairs. During our conversation that morning, he told me any number of his secrets, and especially gave me to understand that matters were not going as well as could be wished between him and his lady-love. I had a fancy that the young lady was, perhaps, offended at something he had said or done while a little under the influence of liquor, and tried to console him and to encourage him, by offering to aid him in any way I could towards straightening matters out. I little suspected what the real difficulty was, or I, perhaps, would not have been so ready in offering my assistance. Alas, poor Phil! his affections were bestowed in the wrong direction, but he lived in hope that things would finally shape themselves

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according to his wishes, and he confidently expected that in time he would be able so to soften the lady's heart towards him, that she would accept his hand. His dreams of happiness, however, were cut short in an untimely manner, for I saw him fall, while fighting bravely, about two weeks subsequently, at the head of his company, at the battle of Shiloh.

        Phil took breakfast with me, and after our meal was despatched, we went to a livery stable, and, obtaining a couple of horses, rode out to camp. I dined with him about four o'clock, and then we rode leisurely back to town, and went up to my room, where we smoked and chatted until supper-time.

        On going into the supper-room, I noticed that the eyes of a number of people whom I knew, and especially of several ladies by whom I was in some little fear of being recognized, were fixed upon me. I, however, gave my mustaches a savage twist, and putting on as manly a swagger as I was able to command, determined to brave all consequences.

I MEET GENERAL L. M. POLK AGAIN.

        My old friend, General Lucius M. Polk, was seated at one of the tables, and I took a seat which brought me nearly back to back with him. He did not notice me when I came in, and I did not care to intrude myself upon him, so did nothing to attract his attention. Soon, however, I said to Hastings, pointing to an old lady in another part of the room, "Lieutenant, there is one of the ladies who were in the habit of visiting Camp Beauregard when I was doing provost duty on the train."

        When General Polk heard this, he evidently recognized a familiar voice, and turning round, shook hands with me very cordially.

        "Excuse me, general," said I, "but I did not see you when I came in."

        "When did you arrive?" said the general.

        "Last evening," I replied.

        "Where are you from?"

        "From New Orleans."

        "Is there anything new?"

        "No; matters are pretty much as usual. Is there anything new in camp?"

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        "Well," said the general, "we are expecting to have another battle before long."

        "Then," said I, "I am just in time."

        "Yes, if you want to have a hand in it," he said. "Are you going out?"

        "Probably day after to-morrow," I replied.

        "I go at ten o'clock this evening," said the general; and then, turning to the lady with him, he said, "Permit me to introduce you to Mrs. Polk."

        I introduced Hastings to the general and his wife, and after a little chat with them, they said good by, and left the room. Hastings and I finished our supper, and then strolled into the bar-room and lighted our cigars.

        He was now impatient to have me go with him to call on his girl; so I took his arm, and we sauntered down the street together in the direction of the house which contained the object of his adoration. We stood on the corner for a little while until we had finished our smoke, and then went up to the front door, where Phil rang the bell.

A SOCIAL CALL.

        I always felt a little timorous and unpleasant when compelled to play the rôle I had undertaken, in a social way, among members of my own sex; and whether because of my recent adventure in New Orleans, or for some other cause, I felt unusually reluctant to make the acquaintance of Phil's lady friends. Had I then suspected all that I found out afterwards, I would have been even more dubious about the propriety of permitting myself to be introduced.

        We took our seats in the parlor, and soon the two young ladies made their appearance. I was introduced; and as I could see that Hastings desired to converse with Miss M., I undertook to make myself as agreeable as possible to Miss E. We did not get along very well together, however, for she was very shy and bashful, while I was far from feeling at my ease, and was conscious of not distinguishing myself very greatly as a lady's man.

        After a little while, as our conversation was not very enlivening, Miss E., apparently as much to break the monotony of the performance as anything else, went out, and returned shortly with a servant girl bearing a waiter of apples. This brought the other couple out of the corner where they had

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been sitting and conversing in a low tone, and the four of us amused ourselves by eating apples and telling fortunes with the seeds. This appeared to afford some amusement to the other three, but I found it rather dull entertainment, and heartily wished that the evening was over. Phil, however, was so wrapped up with his lady, that he was in no hurry to go; but somehow Miss M. did not appear to fancy him by any means as much as he did her, and before a great while they had quite a falling out, and she addressed her conversation chiefly to me, and seemed to have taken quite a liking to me. I was not a little surprised at the warmth of her manner, but supposed that she was merely trying to provoke Phil by a little coquetry, and never imagined for an instant that there was anything serious in it all.

UNEXPECTED CORDIALITY.

        When we arose to leave, Miss M. was scarcely polite to Phil, but she looked at me in a very bewildering way; and squeezing my hand a little more than our brief acquaintance warranted, gave me a most pressing invitation to call again.

        As we walked up the street, Phil asked me how I was pleased, and then told me all about his falling out with his girl. She, it seems, had insisted, with considerable vehemence, that she did not, could not, and would not, love him, and he was very much disposed to think, from what she said, and from the manner in which she behaved, that some other fellow was cutting him out. He little imagined that his friend, Harry T. Buford, was the innocent and unsuspecting cause of his troubles. I tried to cheer him up as well as I could, and then we parted, he to get his horse for a night ride to camp, and I to go to bed at the hotel.

A SECRET REVEALED.

        The next day I received two letters, one of which was from my future husband; for, gentle reader, all these months that, in a guise of a man, I had been breaking young ladies' hearts by my fascinating figure and manner, my own woman's heart had an object upon which its affections were bestowed, and I was engaged to be married to a truly noble officer of the Confederate army, who knew me, both as a man and as a woman, but who little suspected that Lieutenant Harry T.

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Buford, and his intended wife, were one and the same person. By this letter, I learned that my lover was then at Corinth, where I expected to meet him in a few days, and my heart jumped for joy at the idea of being able to fight by his side in the battle that was coming off. This I was determined to do, if the thing could be managed.

        Under the influence of the pleasurable emotions excited by this letter, and the prospect of again seeing the man I loved after a separation of many months, I wrote a note to the two young ladies I had visited the night before, inviting them to go buggy-riding. I then went to the bank and drew some money, and on my return to the hotel, found an acceptance from my lady friends.

        I accordingly hired a couple of teams, one for Hastings, and one for myself; but on arriving at the house, much to Phil's disgust, Miss M. would not go with him, and he took her sister, while his lady, with great apparent satisfaction, seated herself in my vehicle. I felt for him, for I knew that he was terribly disappointed; and with a just received love-letter of my own in my pocket, I was more appreciative of his emotions than I probably otherwise would have been, and made an attempt towards effecting another arrangement. Phil, however, put on a careless air, as if it were all one to him which girl he had, and tipping me a wink, said that he was satisfied as things were.

        When we got started, I said to Miss M., "I am afraid I am interfering with my friend's pleasure."

        "O," said she, "it's all right. I don't belong to him. He is mad with me, and I don't care if he never gets pleased again."

        "You must be mistaken," I said. "I know that he thinks a great deal of you, and he would not offend you for the world. You oughtn't to be hurt at his brusque manner sometimes, for it's just a way he has, and he don't mean anything by it."

        "I don't care what his manner is," she put in, rather tartly, "for I don't love him, and wish that he wouldn't bother me."

A GOOD WORD FOR A FRIEND.

        This induced me to think that I could put in a good word for Hastings, and, perhaps, soften the heart of the lady towards him. I accordingly began to set forth all his good qualities

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in the best light, and to try and persuade her that it was worth while to win the affections of such a fine fellow.

        So soon as she fully comprehended what my meaning was, she would not let me proceed; saying, "It's no use of talking to me about Lieutenant Hastings. I cannot love him, for I am in love with another man, and would give anything in the world if I could only possess his heart."

        I thought that this was getting to be rather more confidential than there was any necessity for, considering our short acquaintance; and had I been a man, I suppose it would have been quite the proper thing for me to have become embarrassed. As things were, however, I was rather amused at the idea of the young lady undertaking to reveal the state of her affections in such an explicit manner, but never suspected what she was really driving at. I fancied that she was merely trying to draw me out for the purpose of seeing what I would say to her, and thought that her real object, after all, was to stimulate Phil's affections by making him a little jealous. Women, as I have more means than one of knowing, are in the habit of playing just such little tricks as these, and it is astonishing what luck they have in making them succeed.

        After considering a moment what I had better say in reply to Miss M.'s bit of confidential communication, I asked if I knew the fortunate individual who had made the conquest of her affections.

        "Yes," she replied, looking at me out of the corners of her eyes, and then bashfully dropping her eyelids, and doing her best to blush.

        "Well," said I, "if you will tell me his name, I will try and find out for you what his feelings are. Perhaps if I give him a hint that a nice girl is in love with him, he will try and make himself agreeable."

A REVELATION.

        She hesitated, sighed, bit her lips, made a desperate attempt at blushing, and finally murmured, in what was evidently intended to be a sweet, low, and very touching tone of voice, "I will tell you his initials;" and then, after moment's hesitation, "They are H. T. B."

        Before this came out, I was beginning to understand from what direction the wind was blowing; and when this very broad hint was given, I could scarcely contain myself from laughing outright, the situation was so supremely ridiculous.

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I managed, however, to keep a straight face, and feeling a real sympathy for Phil, and an anxiety to make matters all right for him if I could, I pretended not to understand who the fortunate one could be, and said, "Where does he live? Is he an officer?"

        "O, yes," she answered, "and one of the sweetest, handsomest fellows that ever lived. He stops at one of the most fashionable hotels."

        I felt immensely flattered at this, as may be conceived, but could not help thinking that, however entertaining it might be to me, it was awful rough on Hastings. I still, however, pretended that I could not understand, the lady all the while wondering, doubtless, what made me so confoundedly obtuse; and after pretending for a few moments to be guessing, I finally said, "Well, I'll give it up; I don't know who it can be." And then, as if a bright idea had just struck me, added, "O, here, just write his name in my diary, if you are too bashful to tell me."

        I accordingly handed her the book and a pencil, and she wrote my name, and handed it back, blushing more furiously than ever.

        I read the name; and pretending to be astonished, and dreadfully shocked, exclaimed, "O, this cannot be possible!"

        "Yes," said she, "you are the object of my affections, and have been for a long time, and I am determined not to love any one else."

        This was rushing the thing rather stronger than I thought there was any occasion for; and wondering what on earth the girl meant, I asked, "Since when have I been the object of your affections? I have only been acquainted with you since last night."

        "I have loved you ever since last November, when I saw you in the cars. We were strangers then, but I have been longing ever since for an opportunity to make your acquaintance."

        I began to wonder how many more susceptible feminine hearts I had unwittingly conquered during my military conductorship; but thinking still of Phil's misfortune, I asked her whether she had ever told him of all this.

        She replied that she had, but that, not knowing my name, she was unable to inform him who his rival was, although she had informed him that there was a rival.

        Here, thought I, was a nice mess; and I scarcely knew

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whether to be amused or disgusted at the perversity of Fate, which made me such an irresistible lady-killer. Miss M. was evidently dead in earnest, and was a nice, attractive-looking, and real good girl, who would have made Phil a capital wife. As for her forwardness in letting me know the state of her affections for me, I could not blame her for that; for I had adopted a similar expedient in my own case, and considered that, although it is, as a rule, a man's place to make the first advances, there is no good reason why a woman who is in love with a man should not take measures to let him know the fact. The conventionalities of society are not always based on reason and common sense, and even where they have a rationalistic basis, people are very apt to quibble about very immaterial points, to the neglect of really weighty matters.

A QUESTION OF PROPRIETY.

        In the relations of the sexes, there are many points which society insists upon for the sake of the proprieties, which are absolutely absurd when tested by any common-sense standard, while permitting a laxity of manners in others that is far from being conducive to good morals or to the general happiness. Many a woman has lost a good husband through a false modesty, which would not permit her to even give him a hint with regard to her real feelings; for some of the best and most whole-souled men are frequently as timid and bashful as the most timid and bashful women, and require some encouragement before they can be induced to speak; while others are strangely obtuse, and do not even think of being anything more than commonly polite to particular ladies, unless something is done to stimulate them. Such backward and thick-witted men are often the most ardent lovers, and the fondest and best of husbands when they are once aroused. Many a woman, too, is fond of one man while she is being persistently courted by another; and if, as is apt to be the case, the object of her regards refuses to notice her in the manner she wishes,--perhaps simply because he does not like to interfere with another man's love affair,--she has no resource, if she hopes for a happy future, but to declare herself. There was, therefore, no occasion for censuring Miss M.; but the fact that Phil's rival happened to be, of all people in the world, Lieutenant Harry T. Buford, C. S. A., certainly complicated the situation.

        I could not resist the temptation to have a little sport at the

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expense of Miss M.; but I was really desirous of trying so to manage matters that Phil would be placed in a better position with his lady than before. I knew that the worst thing I could do would be to repel her advances, and concluded that it was incumbent upon me to at least meet her half way. As she still continued to address me with some degree of formality as Lieutenant, or Mr. Buford, I--giving her an ogle that was intended to be very sympathetic, and to indicate how profoundly my feelings had been wrought upon--suggested that she should call me Harry. This was said in a very tender tone, and evidently made a great impression. During the balance of the ride we exchanged confidences in a very lover-like manner, and by the time we reached home again, Miss M. was in a very happy state of mind, being convinced that she had made a conquest of the man she had so long sighed for. It was all very absurd, of course, and very melancholy from a certain point of view; but I could not help being amused, although I wished myself well out of the scrape, and resolved to inform Phil how matters stood immediately.

A SURPRISE FOR MY FRIEND.

        Having returned our teams to the livery stable, I invited him to my room, and having settled ourselves for a smoke, I disclosed the whole situation to him. He was very much surprised, and a good deal cut up by what I told him, and said Miss M. had often spoken to him of another officer for whom she had an affection, but that he had never imagined that it was I.

        I told him that I was quite as much surprised as himself, and that I certainly should not have called upon the lady had I known what was going to happen.

        Phil paced up and down the room a good deal agitated; and at length he burst out with, "Well, now, lieutenant, ain't women d--d deceitful things anyhow? but I shan't mind being gone back on in this way very long. I will leave for the field in a few days, and I will try and forget her, and, in the meantime, I will not call without your consent."

        "O, pshaw," said I; "I am not in love with the girl, Hastings, and I don't expect to be. I have no intention of marrying, and I don't propose to interfere with you in the least. So go ahead, and win the lady if you can, and I don't doubt but that you can, if you only try hard enough."

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        "No," said Hastings, "I don't want to marry any girl who don't love me, or who has a fancy for another fellow."

        "Well, any how," I replied, "it is kind of pleasant, though, to have a nice place to pass one's leisure hours in, and you might as well visit Miss M., even if you choose to give up the idea of marrying her, as there is, certainly, no necessity for your doing."

THE EXPENSIVENESS OF COURTSHIP.

        "But," said Phil,--and I could not help laughing at the sorrowful energy with which he made this declaration,--"a fellow has to make a girl so many little presents, and show her so many attentions, that the thing gets mighty expensive, unless both parties mean business. It takes a sight of trouble to get into the good graces of some women, and then they are so fickle and uncertain, that it is impossible to tell when you have them safe.

        "Why," said he, warming with his subject, "women have cost me a small fortune, and I have had mighty little satisfaction with them;" and then, lapsing into a reflective mood, added, "Why do men run after them, any how, when they so often regret it afterwards?" This was a conundrum, for which he, apparently, found no satisfactory answer; for, after a moment's pause, he said, "Well, I guess, it must be ordained, and we'll have to put up with it."

        This, I thought, was showing a proper philosophical spirit, even if it was not altogether complimentary to my sex; so I said "Well, Phil, we ought not to complain about women being what they are; we must always remember that our mothers were women."

        This appeared to touch Phil in a tender place; for he said, in a softer tone, "That's so; and God Almighty never made anything better than a real good woman. The good ones are better than the best of us men. If any man were to take advantage of my sister I would kill him."

        I then suggested that he should not give it up with Miss M. yet, and promised to aid his cause with her as best I could. The result was, that Hastings was feeling a good deal better at the close of the conversation than at the beginning of it, and his little disappointment in love did not in the least prevent him from eating, and evidently enjoying immensely, a very hearty supper.

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        While at supper, I proposed that we should go to the theatre, and take the girls. To this Phil readily assented, and Bob was accordingly despatched with an invitation. He soon returned, with an answer to the effect that the ladies would be most happy to accompany us.

        On our way to the theatre, Miss M. suggested that we should have our pictures taken, and gallantry would not permit me to refuse. So I made an engagement with her for the next day to go to the photographers. I had not seen a play for a long time, and consequently enjoyed the entertainment immensely; and being considerably more interested in it than in the young lady, Phil had no reason to complain of the warmth of my attentions to her. He tried to take advantage of the occasion to reinstate himself in her good graces, but I am sorry to say that he did not make much headway, and Miss M., much to his chagrin, persisted in manifesting a decided partiality for Lieutenant Buford.

AN ALARM.

        After the play was over we took the ladies home; and I said good night to Hastings, who started for camp, while I returned to the hotel, where I found a note from my friend, Major Bacon, who was stopping at the Commercial Hotel. I accordingly went to call on him, and found that he had just arrived from New Orleans. This made me feel really uneasy, and I was not a little alarmed when he told me that he had heard of my arrest by the mayor. I was a trifle reassured, however, when I was unable to notice anything in his speech or manner to indicate that he believed me to be a women; and to quiet any suspicions that might be lurking in his mind, I said, as I twisted my mustache, and put on all the swagger I was able, "I am a queer-looking female, ain't I, major?" And then, to clinch the matter, I invited him to take a drink.

        The major replied "Well, you might manage to pass for one, if you were to put on petticoats;" but, rather to my astonishment, he did not seem to be particularly interested in the matter; and as I was not especially anxious to make it a subject for conversation, we soon began to talk about something else.

        The next day, in accordance with my promise, I went to the photographers with Miss M., and we had our pictures taken, and made an exchange. From that time, up to the date of my departure from Memphis, I was an almost daily visitor at her

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house, and was looked upon by her and her friends as an accepted lover, although I certainly was not as explicit in my language on the subject of matrimony as accepted lovers are usually supposed to be under the necessity of being. On the contrary, I tried to put in a good word for Phil as often as I could, until I saw that it was no use pleading for him, as the young lady seemed to have taken an unconquerable aversion to him. That she should have discarded such a really worthy fellow for me was a source of serious annoyance to me; and one reason why I kept up my acquaintance with her was, in the hope of doing him a service.

        At length, all the officers in Memphis were ordered to proceed to Corinth without delay, and then every one knew that a big battle was expected to come off shortly. As a consequence, the greatest excitement prevailed, and many of the officers found it hard work parting from their friends. In order to avoid a scene with Miss M., I wrote her a note, bidding her farewell, which was not to be delivered until after I left the city; and, jumping aboard the train, was soon on my way to Corinth[.]

        On arriving at Corinth, I found great preparations being made, and everything nearly ready for a forward movement. I met a considerable number of old friends, some of them old Virginia comrades, whom I had not seen for a very long time. We exchanged very cordial greetings, but otherwise we had not much time to give to each other, they having important duties to perform, while I was eagerly endeavoring to obtain some official position that would enable me to participate in the coming fight in a manner advantageous to myself. All the commanding officers, however, were too busy just then to attend to me; and so I resolved to follow the army to the field in my independent capacity, and take my chances there.

        The order to advance being given, the army moved out of Corinth in the direction of Pittsburg Landing, animated by the expectation of being able to fall upon the enemy, and deliver a crushing blow at a moment when it was least expected.

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CHAPTER XVII.

THE BATTLE OF SHILOH.

        A Surprise upon the Federal Army at Pittsburg Landing arranged.--A brilliant Victory expected.--I start for the Front, and encamp for the Night at Monterey.--My Slumbers disturbed by a Rain-storm.--I find General Hardee near Shiloh Church, and ask Permission to take a Hand in the Fight.--The Opening of the Battle.--Complete Surprise of the Federals.--I see my Arkansas Company, and join it.--A Lieutenant being killed, I take his Place, amid a hearty Cheer from the Men.--A Secret revealed.--I fight through the Battle under the Command of my Lover.--Furious Assaults on the Enemy's Lines.--The Bullets fly thick and fast.--General Albert Sydney Johnston killed.--End of the first Day's Battle, and Victory for the Confederates.--Beauregard's Error in not pursuing his Advantage.--I slip through the Lines after Dark, and watch what is going on at Pittsburg Landing.--The Gunboats open Fire.--Unpleasant Effect of Shells from big Guns.--Utter Demoralization of the Federals.--Arrival of Buell with Re-enforcements.--General Grant and another general Officer pass near me in a Boat, and I am tempted to take a Shot at them. --I return to Camp, and wish to report what I had seen to General Bureaugard, but am dissuaded from doing so by my Captain.--Uneasy Slumbers.--Commencement of the second Day's Fight.--The Confederates unable to contend with the Odds against them.--A lost Opportunity.--The Confederates defeated, and compelled to retire from the Field.--I remain in the Woods near the Battle-field all Night.

        FORT DONELSON was to be avenged. After the capture of that position, the Federals had swept in triumph through Tennessee, the Confederates having been compelled to abandon their lines in that state and in Kentucky, and to seek a new base of operations farther south. The Federals were now concentrating in great force at Pittsburg Landing, on the Tennessee River, their immediate object of attack evidently being Corinth, and General Albert Sydney Johnston, who was in command of the entire Confederate army, resolved upon striking a vigorous blow at once, with a view of turning the tide of victory in our favor before the enemy were assembled

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in such strength as to make it imperative for us to act upon the defensive, and to fight behind our intrenchments. The experiences of more than one well-fought field had shown how well nigh irresistible the Confederate soldiers were in making an attack, and the general knew that it would be necessary for him to be the assailant, if he expected to get all the work out of his men they were able to do.

        The reports which we received from our scouts, and from the country people, indicated either that the Federals were unaware of the strength of the Confederates in their immediate neighborhood, or else that, flushed with victory, they were over-confident, and were taking comparatively few precautions against a surprise. These things were the common talk of the Confederates for days before the battle took place; and while not a little astonishment was expressed at the temerity of the enemy, considerable jubilation was felt at the idea of our being able to gain a comparatively easy victory, which would put an end to the invasion, or at least so stagger the Federals, that subsequent operations against them would be unattended with any great difficulties.

A SURPRISE IN PREPARATION.

        We all knew that a surprise was to be attempted, and all felt confident of its success, although some hard fighting was expected before the rout of the Federals could be achieved. Hard fighting, however, was something from which the Confederate soldiers did not shrink at any time, and on this occasion every one was anxious to repair the disaster of Fort Donelson, and to teach the enemy a lesson they would not be likely to forget in a hurry.

        At the prospect of a battle, and especially of a battle in which the chances of winning a brilliant victory would be on the side of the Confederates, I was as eager to participate, notwithstanding the severity of my recent experiences, as I was the first time I faced the enemy. If I thought of Fort Donelson, and the retreat of Johnston's army after the fall of that position, it was only with a desire to be revenged for the sufferings my brave comrades and myself had endured, and my thoughts rather turned to Bull Run and Ball's Bluff, where Southern valor had so signally displayed itself, and where I had assisted in defeating the enemy, and in sending them flying, a routed and panic-stricken mob, from the field.

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        My love for such excitement as only a great battle can give, too, overpowered all lesser emotions, and my mortification at the indignities I had endured at the hands of Mayor Monroe and his satellites in New Orleans, was overcome by the thought that, notwithstanding the fact that I was a woman, I was as good a soldier as any man around me, and as willing as any to fight valiantly and to the bitter end before yielding. The fighting blood of my ancestor, old Governor Don Diego, was making itself felt in my veins as I prepared to follow Hardee's corps to the scene of action with all possible expedition.

OFF FOR THE FIELD.

        Obtaining a pass from the provost marshal, I put my tent in an army wagon, and then Bob and I mounted our horses and started for the field, on Saturday, April 5, 1862. The roads were in a horrible condition from the heavy spring rains, and we made rather slow progress,--much too slow for my impatient spirit,--and I was very tired when, at nightfall, I reached a village of half a dozen scattered houses called Monterey, about half way between Corinth and Shiloh Church, a little Methodist meeting-house, just outside the Federal picket lines.

        It was necessary for me to halt here until morning; so, obtaining sufficient forage for my horse from a Mississippi regiment, I prepared to camp for the night, and hoped to get a sound sleep, to fit me for the hot work of the next day.

THE NIGHT BEFORE THE BATTLE OF SHILOH.

        My animals having been fed, I took off the saddles, and raking up a quantity of leaves, arranged my bed by spreading a saddle blanket to lie upon, and placing a saddle for a pillow. Then throwing myself on this extemporized couch, I wrapped myself in an army blanket, and was soon lost in slumber as profound as would have visited me had my accommodations been of the most luxurious description.

        I was not destined, however, to have a quiet, uninterrupted slumber, such as I needed, for ere long I was awakened by the rain, which began to fall in torrents, and which compelled me to seek some more sheltered spot in which to finish the night. My first care was for my horse, and covering him well with the blanket, I went as fast as I could to one of the deserted

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houses of the village, and stopped there until the rain was over.

        It was quite three o'clock before the shower ceased, and it was high time for me to be moving if I expected to take part in the opening of the battle, as I was exceedingly anxious to do. I therefore ordered the horses to be saddled, and was in a few moments ready to start. A soldier very generously offered me a cup of army coffee, which, although perhaps it was not quite equal in strength and flavor to some I had tasted in the best hotels, was swallowed with great relish, and with many benedictions on the giver, whose courtesy I rewarded by a good-sized drink of brandy, from a flask I carried for the benefit of my friends. His eyes fairly sparkled with delight as he gulped it down, and he smacked his lips as if he had not had such a treat for many a day. Then mounting my horse, I set off at a smart pace for General Hardee's headquarters.

        I found the general stationed near Shiloh Church, and rode up and saluted him just as he was mounting his horse. Showing him my pass, I said that I wanted to have a hand in this affair. Hardee looked at the pass, and replied, "All right; fall in, and we'll see what can be done for you."

COMMENCEMENT OF THE FIGHT.

        The fighting had already commenced between the skirmish lines of the two armies while I was conversing with the general, and the troops were hurrying forward to attack the Federals before they could gain time to prepare themselves for an effective resistance.

        In obedience to Hardee's command, I fell in with his men, and we advanced briskly upon the enemy's camp. It was a complete surprise in every respect. Many of the enemy were only half dressed, and were obliged to snatch up the first weapons that came to hand as the Confederates rushed out of the woods upon them. The contest was brief and decisive, and in a few moments such of the enemy as escaped the deadly volleys which we poured into them were scampering away as fast as their legs could carry them. We took possession of their camp, with all its equipage, almost without resistance, and I thought that this was an excellent good beginning of the day's work, especially as I had the pleasure of eating a capital hot breakfast, which had been prepared for some Federal

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officer. I enjoyed it immensely, for I was decidedly hungry after my early morning march, the cup of coffee tendered by my soldier friend not having proved as satisfactory as something more substantial might have done.

        I had scarcely finished eating when I came across General Hardee again. He was in a high good humor at the course events had taken thus far, and said to me, in a jocular sort of way; "Well, lieutenant, what can I do for you?"

        I replied that I was anxious to do my share of the fighting, and wanted to be stationed where there was plenty of work to be done.

        The general laughed a little at my enthusiasm, but just then his attention was called away for a moment, and I, glancing down the line, spied the Arkansas boys whom I had enlisted at Hurlburt Station nearly a year before. I was immediately seized with a desire to go into the fight with them; so I said, "Ah, there is my old company, general; with your permission, I will see the captain. Perhaps he can give me a chance."

I REJOIN MY ARKANSAS BOYS.

        Hardee nodded an assent, and, giving him a salute, I started off at full speed to the rear, where I got my commission out of my pocket, and then darted along the line, closely followed by Bob, my idea being to avoid being stopped by giving the impression that I was bearing an order from the general. Dismounting from my horse, I forced my way through the ranks until I reached Captain De Caulp, who shook me heartily by the hand, and was evidently delighted to see me, as we had not met since I parted from him in Pensacola the previous June, when starting for Richmond. My pleasure at the interview, especially at meeting him again under such circumstances as those I am describing, was of a very different and much more intense kind than his, for reasons that will appear hereafter.

        It was no time then, however, to exchange compliments, for there was hot work before us if the brilliant successes of the first assaults upon the Federal position were to be followed up to a satisfactory issue. I therefore told Captain De Caulp that I was anxious to have a hand in the fight, and especially to go into the thing with this company, if it could be permitted, and asked him if he could not assign me to some duty. I spoke in such a way, and in a sufficiently loud tone for the

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other officers and the men to understand that I belonged to the special corps, and was doing a share of the fighting just for the love of the thing. Some of them evidently did not know who I was, and were inclined to regard me as an intruder; for I heard a soldier behind me say, "What little dandy is that?" Some one replied, "Why, don't you know? That's the fellow that raised the company,"--a bit of information that undoubtedly raised me immensely in the estimation of the interrogator, as well as in that of others who had joined the company since I had left it.

AMONG OLD FRIENDS.

        Notwithstanding the number of strange faces that met my eyes as I glanced along the ranks, I saw enough old acquaintances to make me feel very much at home, and I was delighted beyond measure in an opportunity to take part in a great battle along with my own company that I had raised over in the Arkansas swamp, that I had marched through New Orleans and Mobile in such gallant style, and that I had so astonished my late husband by appearing in Pensacola at the head of, and resolved to prove myself worthy of them, and to show that, even if I was a little dandy, I was as good a soldier as the best of them when any hard fighting was to be done. Indeed, all the circumstances were such as to inspire me to distinguish myself by some unusually gallant action, and I resolved that, if it were possible to do so, the occasion should be made a memorable one for us all.

        Captain De Caulp told me to remain with him, and to wait and see what would happen for my advantage; for as some desperate fighting was yet to be done, there would very probably be some need of my services before the battle was over. In the mean time, and until there was a special call upon me, I could fight on my own hook, or act as a sort of aid to him. He then sent his orderly to the rear with the boy Bob and the horses, with directions to conduct them to the camp.

        Glancing over the field, I saw the eleventh Louisiana regiment, with a friend of mine, and a brave officer, Colonel Sam. Marks, at its head, going for the enemy in gallant style, and in a short time the order came for us to advance. I was all oak, as the boys would say, and there was not upon the whole field a prouder or more determined upholder of the

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fortunes of the Confederacy, or one who was more bent upon retrieving past disasters, and of inflicting upon the Federals a blow from which they would not be able to recover, than myself. I considered it a rare piece of good fortune that I was able to take part in what all hoped and expected would be a decisive battle with my own company,--as fine a body of men as were in the field,--and there were special reasons for feelings of jubilation at the idea of being permitted to fight by the side of Captain De Caulp.

THE SECRET OUT.

        The secret might as well be told now as at any other time, I suppose; so the reader will please know that Captain De Caulp and I were under an engagement of marriage, having been in correspondence with each other since my departure from Pensacola. I had his letters in my breast pocket, and his photograph in the lining of my coat, while, I doubt not, that he had about him memorials of my unworthy self; and if he cared as much for me as I was led to believe he did by the fervency of his epistles, I was the especial object of his thoughts when, in obedience to the command to advance, we dashed at the enemy. He little suspected, however, that the woman to whom his heart and hand were pledged was by his side as he led his men into that bloody fray; for, as I have before explained, he had an acquaintance with me both as a woman and as a man, but did not know that the two were the same.

AN INSPIRING SITUATION.

        The situation was a singularly inspiring one for me, as may readily be imagined; it was, in fact, such a situation as I doubt whether any woman had ever been placed in before; and yet it seemed the most natural thing in the world that I should be there, and that I should try to distinguish myself by deeds of valor, for the sake of winning the approving smile of the man who, of all others, I was anxious should give me his approbation.

        It may be thought that, even if I felt no fear for myself, as a woman I should have had some tremors when beholding my lover advancing into the thick of a desperate fight, at the head of his men. The idea of fear, either on his or on my own account, however, never occurred to me at the time,

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Illustration

[Confederate States of America Ten Dollar Stock Certficate]

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although, on reflecting over the matter afterwards, it struck me that some slight emotion of that kind would perhaps have been proper under the circumstances. We cannot think of everything at once, however; and just at that time I was intent only on defeating the enemy before me, and proving myself a good fighter in the eyes of Captain De Caulp and his command. As for him, I desired for his sake, even more ardently than on my own account, that the occasion should be a glorious one, and I had a strange delight in following him into the thickest of the mêlée, and in watching with what undaunted spirit he bore himself throughout the long and sternly-fought battle.

        We had not been long engaged before the second lieutenant of the company fell. I immediately stepped into his place, and assumed the command of his men. This action was greeted by a hearty cheer from the entire company, all the veterans of which, of course, knew me, and I took the greeting as an evidence that they were glad to see their original commander with them once more, and evidently anxious to do a full share of the heavy job of work that was to be done before the field could be ours. This cheer from the men was an immense inspiration to me; and the knowledge that not my lover only, but the company which I had myself recruited, and thousands of others of the brave boys of our Southern army were watching my actions approvingly, encouraged me to dare everything, and to shrink from nothing to render myself deserving of their praises.

A FURIOUS ASSAULT.

        Our assaults upon the enemy were made with irresistible fury, and we rushed through their lines, literally mowing them down like grain before the mowing machine. It was grander fighting than I had ever witnessed before, surpassing even the great sortie at Fort Donelson in desperateness and inspirational qualities. The bullets whistled through the air thick and fast, cutting the trees, and making the branches snap and fly, splintering the fence rails, striking the wagons, or sending some poor soldier suddenly to the earth. A corporal who was by my side was shot through the heart by a Minie ball. He fell heavily against me, and all my clothing was reddened by his blood. His only words were, "Damn the Yankees! they have killed me." He was a very handsome

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young man, only about twenty-two years of age, and his death perfectly infuriated me, as it did his other comrades.

        The Federals never succeeded in recovering from the surprise of the morning; and although they stood their ground most stubbornly in some places, their entire line was gradually driven back towards the Landing, and each succeeding hour of the fight made their total defeat more of a certainty than ever.

GENERAL ALBERT SYDNEY JOHNSTON KILLED.

        Shortly before three o'clock in the afternoon, our commander-in-chief, General Albert Sydney Johnston, was numbered among the slain. His death, however, was carefully concealed from the army, and was known to but few until the battle was over. He was a great soldier, and his loss was an irreparable one; for had he lived to superintend the conduct of the battle to the end, it is scarcely possible that he would have failed to push his advantages to the utmost, or that he would have committed the mistakes which turned a brilliant and decisive victory into an overwhelming and most maddening defeat.

CLOSE OF THE FIRST DAY'S BATTLE.

        When the sun set that day the Confederates were successful at every point, and although they had suffered terribly, they had forced the enemy's lines back almost to the Landing, so that there was nothing now left them to do but to make a final successful stand, or else be crowded over the bluffs into the river, just as I had seen them crowded, six months before, at Ball's Bluff. That they could have made a final effective resistance, had the Confederates finished the day's work in the spirit they had begun it, was scarcely within the range of possibility; and I confidently expected, as the daylight declined in the sky, to witness a repetition, on a larger scale, of all the horrors of the Ball's Bluff battle. There was absolutely no escape for the Federals; and their only hope was to hold their last rallying ground, and to gain time until the arrival of re-enforcements, which would enable them to recover their lost ground, and to assume the offensive against our victorious, but worn and shattered army. Why the Confederate advantages were not pushed that night, before General Buell could arrive with his fresh troops, and the

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Federal army either captured or annihilated, as it assuredly would have been, was a mystery to me then, and is now.

        During the afternoon, I succeeded in gaining a good deal of very important information from several prisoners, and particularly from a sergeant belonging to the twenty-seventh Illinois regiment. I did this by inducing him to believe that I was only in the Confederate army under compulsion, and that I intended to desert at the first opportunity. I got out of him pretty much everything he knew about the Federal situation, who the different commanders were, and even how the forces were posted; and, in full confidence that all I told him was the literal truth, he took out his diary and wrote a short note to his colonel, which he intrusted to me to deliver for him. From this prisoner I learned how desperate were the straits of the enemy, and how anxiously they were awaiting the arrival of Buell with re-enforcements, and I was, consequently, in despair, for I saw our brilliant victory already slipping from us, when General Beauregard, who had succeeded to the command after the death of Johnston, issued the order from his headquarters at the little Shiloh church, for us to halt in our advance, and to sleep on our arms all night, instead of pursuing the routed enemy, and compelling them either to surrender or to take to the river, as we compelled them to do at Ball's Bluff.

A FATAL MISTAKE.

        When I heard Beauregard's order, I felt that a fatal mistake was being committed; and, in utter desperation at the very thought of losing on the morrow all that we had gained by the most determined and desperate fighting through that long and bloody day, I could not resist the temptation of making an effort to find out for myself exactly what the situation within the enemy's lines really was, and was willing to run all the risks of being caught and shot as a spy, rather than to endure the suspense of a long night of uncertainty.

        My station was with the advanced picket line, I having persuaded the captain to post me in a manner most favorable for carrying out my designs. I did not dare to tell him all I proposed to do, for fear that he would consider it his duty to prevent me, but gave him to understand that I intended, under cover of the darkness, to creep up as close as I could, with safety, to the Federal lines, with a view of trying to find out

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something concerning their movements. He hesitated somewhat at even permitting me to do this much without the knowledge of the colonel, but finally gave a tacit consent. I also refrained from telling my full design to my immediate companion of the picket station, and made up a story about my intentions, which I thought would keep him quiet, and also promised to give him a drink of good whiskey when I got back if he would mind his own business and not attempt to interfere with me.

I MAKE A RECONNOISSANCE.

        I accordingly stole away, and creeping as noiselessly as I possibly could through the underbrush, approached the Landing. The command of General Wallace was stationed at this end of the Federal line, and I had a good deal of trouble to get past his pickets, being compelled to pause very frequently, and to keep close to the ground, watching favorable opportunities for advancing from one point to another. I finally, however, did manage to get past them, and gained a tolerably good point of observation near the river, where I could see quite plainly what was going on at the Landing.

        It was just as I had anticipated. The Federals were crowding about the Landing in utter disorder, and were without any means of crossing the river. They were completely in a trap, and so evidently keenly appreciated the fact, that the capture of the entire army ought to have been an easy matter. One more grand charge along the entire line, in the same brilliant fashion that we had opened the battle, and every officer and man on this side of the river would either have been slain or taken prisoner, while we would have gained possession of the Landing, and have prevented any of the expected re-enforcements from crossing.

BEAUREGARD'S MISTAKE.

        At this moment, I felt that if I could only command our army for two good hours I would be willing to die the moment the victory was won, while it maddened me to think that our commander should have permitted such an opportunity for inflicting a perfectly crushing defeat on the enemy to pass by unimproved. Beauregard, certainly, could not have understood the situation, or he would inevitably have pursued his advantage;

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and yet I could not understand how he could help knowing, not only that the Federals were in desperate straits, but that fresh troops were hurrying to their assistance, and that in the morning the battle would, assuredly, be resumed with the odds all in their favor.

ARRIVAL OF FEDERAL RE-ENFORCEMENTS.

        While I was watching and chafing under the blunder that I was sure had been committed, a steamboat with re-enforcements arrived at the Landing. These fresh troops were immediately formed, and despatched to the front. Another detachment came, before I withdrew, overwhelmed with grief and disgust at the idea of our victory coming to nothing, simply because there was not the requisite energy at headquarters to strike the final blow that was needed, in order that our hard fighting might have its proper reward.

        There was, evidently, somebody on the Federal side who was bent on retrieving the disaster; for the hurried movements of the new troops, and the constant firing which the two gunboats--Tyler and Lexington --kept up, indicated an aggressiveness that augured unfavorable for our tired and badly cut up army when the fight should re-open in the morning. The two gunboats had moved up to the mouth of Lick Creek, and about dark commenced throwing shells into our lines in a manner that was anything but agreeable, and that demoralized our men more than any kind of attack they had been compelled to stand up under. I had been under musketry and artillery fire a number of times, and did not find the sharp hiss of the bullets, or the scream of the shells, particularly pleasant. There was something horrible, however, about the huge missiles hurled by the gunboats, and they excited far more disagreeable sensations than either musket or rifle bullets, or the favors which the field artillerists were in the habit of bestowing. These shells could easily be seen in the air for some seconds, and each individual that beheld them had an uncomfortable feeling that they were aiming directly at him, with a strong probability of striking. Sometimes they burst in the air, scattering in every direction; oftener they burst just as they struck, and the pieces inflicted ugly wounds if they happened to hit anybody, and occasionally they would bury themselves in the ground, and then explode, tearing holes large enough to bury a cart and horse in.

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        There was something almost comical in the way the soldiers, who had fought, without flinching, for hours in the face of a terrific artillery and musketry fire, attempted to dodge these shells. The hideous screams uttered by them, just before striking, seeming to drive all the courage out of the hearts of those against whom they were directed. Facing this kind of attack, without being able in any way to reply to it, was much more trying than the toughest fighting; and the rapidity with which the gunners on board the boats kept up their fire about dusk, undoubtedly had a great effect in checking the Confederate's advance, and in saving the badly-beaten Federal army from utter rout.

        During the whole of the night the Tyler and Lexington threw their shells steadily, and at frequent intervals, in the direction of our army; but now that the fighting was over, and our men were trying to rest for the work of the morrow, it was comparatively easy to keep out of their way, and they consequently did not do much damage. A heavy rain storm, in the middle of the night, had much more to do with making the situation an unpleasant one than the firing from the gunboats, as it drenched every one to the skin, and seriously disturbed the slumbers of the wearied soldiers.

GENERAL GRANT'S PERIL.

        While surveying, from my post of observation in the bushes, the movements of the routed Federal troops at the Landing, a small boat, with two officers in it, passed up the river. As it drew near the place where I was concealed, I recognized one of the officers as General Grant, and the other one I knew by his uniform to be a general. Grant I had seen at Fort Donelson, and I had met with pictures of him in some of the illustrated papers, so that I had no trouble in knowing him in spite of the darkness. The boat passed so close to me that I could occasionally catch a word or two of the conversation that was passing between the Federal commander and his associate, although, owing to the splashing of the oars, and the other noises, I could not detect what they were talking about.

        My heart began to beat violently when I saw Grant, and my hand instinctively grasped my revolver. Both he, and the officer with him, were completely at my mercy, for they were within easy pistol shot, and my first impulse was to kill them, and run the risk of all possible consequences to myself. I did

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even go so far as to take a good aim, and in a second more, had I been a little firmer-nerved, the great Federal general, and the future President of the United States, would have finished his career.

        It was too much like murder, however, and I could not bring myself to do the deed, although it would have been as justifiable as any killing that takes place in warfare. Any soldier, however, will appreciate my feelings; for those who are bravest, when standing face to face with the enemy, will hesitate to take deliberate aim at a single man from an ambush. I therefore permitted Grant to escape, although I knew it was better for my cause to slay him than would be the loss of many hundre