Well, I think that women will continue to be elected. I hope our numbers
will increase. As I indicated before we started talking, one of the
things that I had worked hard at, my last terms in Raleigh, was trying
to get to know those women in my party that I would probably have never
gotten to know otherwise if we hadn't been in the General Assembly
together. I think they initially probably felt uncomfortable with me
because they knew that I had a feminist streak, and that I would
disagree with them on some issues such as abortion and the Equal Rights
Amendment. And so they had been made to feel a little uncomfortable. You
know, "You don't know if you want to talk to her." Same idea that some
of the men had projected onto them, I'm sure. So I knew that they were
feeling some discomfort even being in Raleigh because it's still a male
bastion. We are a minority. And that we can be very supportive of each
other and help, so that you don't have to repeat the same mistakes and
understand the process. That we do have a lot of issues that we can work
together on. So I made a point to get to know these women and have meals
with them and sit with them at lunch,
Page 29 develop a
trust level based on respect. I respect you even though you disagree
with me. The Marital Rape Bill came up in 1987 and when several of us
discovered that all of the women were supportive of this bill, it just
gave us a tingly feeling because we've never had an issue come before
us, during my time in Raleigh, that all the women agreed on. Never. And
so when we sensed this, I went especially to my Republican women friends
who had felt somewhat isolated from the other women in Raleigh, because
I had gotten along with all the women in the past. And so I said,
"Listen, we're going to get together. We're going to sign a letter.
We're going to pass it out to all of our male colleagues telling them
that we all support this bill, and we're asking for their support,
because we can't pass this bill by ourselves. We need their support."
Well, we all decided that we would sign this letter. We put it on the
members desk in the chamber, and then an article came out in the
newspaper talking about how the women . . . And they started naming and
how even though we disagreed on some things, how we were all getting
behind this issue, and that we were signing a letter, blah, blah, blah.
Well, one of these ladies came to my office after this article appeared
in the newspaper, and she named this male legislator who had come to her
office and wanted to know why she had signed that letter with those
liberal women and why didn't she come and talk to him before she signed
that letter. Well, this lady was indignant. She was madder than hell
that this man would presume that he was going to tell her how to vote.
Well, we started laughing. I mean, here's a woman who is pro-life and
Page 30 myself, and we are laughing our heads off about
this man who had the audacity to insinuate to her that first of all, we
were a bunch of liberals, and why should she be signing a letter with
us, and didn't she know that there was an underground movement out
there. And that we were trying to get the men and on and on and on. And
I said, "You know, this is the old divide and conquer. They're trying to
separate us." It's like, "Don't let those women get together for a
quilting bee. They might talk about something." I mean it's like you
can't let women, don't let the women get together. They might find that
they can work together. So we just had a ball. We were going around, all
different factions of women, talking to men. Because each one of us
could go to certain men within our own party and talk to them and say,
"Look, we need your help on this. All the women are supportive. We all
believe this is important, and we'd even go so far as to say that if we
can't get this bill passed, if it's defeated, you're going to have to
explain it to the voters before the next election. Probably, you don't
think that a women should have to, you know, why should a women have to
be raped by her husband?" The men didn't want to have to deal with it in
an election. They don't want to stand up there, the candidates, and
explain why they were opposed to it. So that was an example of how women
could get together, disregard their disagreements, and focus on getting
an issue passed that they believed in. And all of a sudden, it was like,
if we can do it once, we can do it again. We have got to stop letting
the men, because I'm sure they're loving it, every bit of it, because
we'll sit there in
Page 31 the chamber—I'd watch some of
these men, how one day they'd be voting against each other, the next day
they were holding hands, the next day it was good buddies, patting each
other all over the shoulders and signing off on each other's bill, and
the next day, they'd be arguing against each other. There wasn't a set
program. It wasn't like I have to dislike Joe so-in-so because he
disagrees with me on this issue. He's for the sales tax, he's for
raising the sales and use tax or whatever. They could work together.
They walked out that chamber door and left it inside the chamber. Women
have not always been able to do that. We've taken it as a personal
affront if you couldn't agree, and so I think that, to me, the last two
terms were rewarding in that I was able to get to know these women, and
they were able to get to know me and realized that I was not the enemy,
that the men were the ones who could really, if they could, work against
you. One woman told me that she was at a function and had gone up to a
male colleague. They were getting together a foursome; this was
someplace like Pinehurst or Southern Pines, and she played golf, and she
said, "Can I join in?" And this man said to her, "I have to serve with
you, but I don't have to play golf with you." I mean she said she felt
like she had been punched in the stomach or slapped on the side of the
head. He was just so insensitive to her, and I think that that's the
sort of thing that all women, whether you're a liberal, moderate or
conservative, have had some man say, "I ain't got time. I don't have to
deal with you, honey." And so it was really an emotional feeling for all
the women in 1987, and I hope that we can continue to work together.