Awareness of sexuality and sexual experimentation
Wooten describes coming to terms with his sexuality while growing up in eastern North Carolina during the 1950s. Wooten recalls his early awareness that he was attracted to men, although he explains that he did not have the terminology to describe his sexual orientation at that time. In addition, Wooten describes sexual experimentation with a cousin and with a friend. His comments indicate that this type of sexual behavior was not uncommon in that area during those years, nor was it something that generated tension in those relationships in later years.
Citing this Excerpt
Oral History Interview with Cecil W. Wooten, July 16, 2001. Interview K-0849. Southern Oral History Program Collection (#4007) in the Southern Oral History Program Collection, Southern Historical Collection, Wilson Library, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
Full Text of the Excerpt
- CHRIS MCGINNIS:
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So when did you really realize that you were gay? When did that start
surfacing?
- CECIL W. WOOTEN:
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Well, although in the early 50s, the term gay did not exist.
- CHRIS MCGINNIS:
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Especially in eastern North Carolina.
- CECIL W. WOOTEN:
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I realized that I was sexually attracted to men when I was about seven
or eight. I first realized it when I would go and see Tarzan movies, and
I found Tarzan much more exciting than Jane. Also, as often happened in
small southern towns, I had a lot of sex with a first cousin of mine. My
grandfather was a tobacconist and he spend July, August and September
out of town, so the grandchildren would stay with my grandmother and we
slept in this big feather bed and Iߞ
- CHRIS MCGINNIS:
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If I only had cousins. [Laughter]
- CECIL W. WOOTEN:
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It started, as I used to say, "fooling around with my
cousin." Actually, we had sex with each other until he was
about 21 and I was about 22, he was a year younger than I am. Then, all
of a sudden I went to France for a year and came back and he was getting
married.
- CHRIS MCGINNIS:
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Wow. How did you feel about that?
- CECIL W. WOOTEN:
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Fineߞ
- CHRIS MCGINNIS:
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I guess that it was kind of a recreational thing.
- CECIL W. WOOTEN:
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Yeah, it was recreational and we never talked about it, we never
discussed it, it was just purely a physical kind of experience. I also
had a friend in high school that I had sex with a lot and I realized
that for me, this was what I was interested in. For him, it was sort of
a substitute for not having an available woman. Because women were not
available in the 50s in eastern North Carolina. He also, the same thing
happened, I went off to Europe, returned and he was dating my first
cousin. Not the one that I was having sex with, it was a woman. Again,
you know, we have never discussed it since then, he lives in Raleigh, it
just has never been discussed.
- CHRIS MCGINNIS:
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It is a moot point basically.
- CECIL W. WOOTEN:
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Yeah, I mean, it was, for him, clearly a phase and a substitute for
something else. I think that for my cousin it was more than a phase, I
think that it was something that he felt very strongly. But, he wanted
to live in eastern North Carolina and be a businessman. I think that he
realized that you could not live in eastern North Carolina, be a
businessman and be gay. So, he got married. I am sure that he is
bisexual, but I think that he was more homosexual than my friend. I
think that my friend was probably more heterosexual and I was available
and girl weren't.
- CHRIS MCGINNIS:
-
Yeah, was there ever any kind of tension that he might have felt guilty
because this was happening and you didn't? Did it basically
work out fine?
- CECIL W. WOOTEN:
-
Not that I ever sensed. I sensed that it was something that we both
enjoyed and when the time came, he put it aside and I didn't.
There, I guess, with both of these people, there was a little bit of
awkwardness after we quit having sex with each other and each of them
were dating women, and looking as if they were going to get married, but
it was not a great amount of awkwardness and there is not awkwardness
what so ever now. I see my cousin all of the time now and I see this
other guy on occasion and, you know, it is never mentioned, but it is
not tense.