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Dialect Tales
McDowell, Katherine Sherwood Bonner (pseud. Sherwood Bonner)
New York,
Harper & Brothers, Franklin Square
1883
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[Cover Image]
[Frontispiece Image]
"DE PARSTER OF DE FUST METHODIS' CHURCH, LIMITED.&rdquo [Page 32.
[Title Page Image]
BY
ILLUSTRATED
Dedicated TO MY DEAR FRIEND MRS. S. B. S. WITH LOVE AND GRATITUDE.
Her angel face,
As the great eye of Heaven, shined bright,
And made a sunshine in a shady place.
SARSAR! The very name of the place was sinister! Who does not remember De Quincey's "Sarsar wind of desolation," and the chill shudder that quivered through the soul as the harsh adjective came blowing like a discord into the music of that incomparable writing?
Not a misgiving, however, crossed my heart when, shortly before Christmas, my father asked me if I thought myself possessed of the qualifications necessary for collecting a bad debt.
"The business of collecting, father," said I, with what malicious friends called my "prize-poem manner," "is odious in some of its features to a man of spirit; but it may bring into play some of the finest faculties of the human mind."
"And body," added my father, in a quiet sort of way.
"If courage is needed," said I, laughing, "I am the son of my State—the State that does not know how to surrender!
As for tact, civility, address, urbanity, and downright stubbornness, these desirable qualities are surely mine by right of inheritance."
"Well, well," said my father, meditatively, "it is a pretty rough place, Sarsar is. The debt is one thousand dollars; and if you get this sum, or any part of it, I don't mind saying it is yours for a Christmas-box."
For many reasons these were delightful words. First, while I fully intended that my life should teem with good things, at present it was as bare and empty as a sun-dried skull. My father, with the best intentions in the world, was so indifferent to the doctrines of Malthus as to become the parent of a perfect brood of young ones, each of whom had to stand on his own legs as soon as they were strong enough. I was at the beginning of my career, and made shift to get on; but such a sugar-plum as a thousand dollars had never dropped into my mouth. As befitted my slim purse, I was madly, unutterably in love—in love with Angie Bell, the prettiest girl, I would swear, among a million picked beauties. With the thousand dollars fairly mine, I should be able to offer her those delicate attentions man delights to lavish on the woman he adores—buggy drives and bonbons, new music, books, and bouquets. Thus I should weave myself, as it were, into her life, keep her little heart in a perpetual simmer of kindly feeling, and dispose her to look tenderly on my encroaching passion, nor resist when its tide should sweep her from her moorings into my arms. Unless—reflected I—it might be better to trust to winning her solely on my merits, and, the betrothal an accomplished fact, spend all the sum in the
purchase of a troth gift in some degree worthy of her inspiring beauty.
Absorbed in the pleasing perplexity of such a question, I was only aroused from my reverie by my father's tones, raised a good deal above their ordinary level.
"Yes, old Ruck is as saucy and rough a tonic as any man could swallow. You will need all your mother-wit in dealing with him. The old scamp swears it is not a just debt, and pay it he will not."
"Sarsar—nothing more than a backwoods settlement, is it?"
"Nothing. And there are people up among those hills who actually try to vote for General Jackson to-day! A good many worthless negroes have congregated in the place, who fight, quarrel, and steal without much interference from anybody. There are a lot of rough fellows, however, calling themselves 'the Gentlemen of Sarsar,' who regulate things after their own fashion. Chief among them is your man—Andy Rucker. He has unbounded influence with his clientèle, and, they say, understands how to use the shot-gun better than any man in the county."
"Never think to daunt me, father," said I, briskly. "I shall go to Sarsar, and shall fetch back the money."
A few days later I got off at a station ten miles east of Sarsar, and, hiring a horse, set out for a ride across the country. The hills were steep, the road rough, the people rougher. At the cabins where I stopped to ask the way they looked on me as a stranger from a far-off land.
"Do git down and look at your creetur," was their
invariable remark, and one that puzzled me exceedingly, until I found it was an hospitable invitation to dismount for a rest.
Reaching Sarsar, I was directed to "the Widow Joplin's" as a place of entertainment. The widow, a tired-looking woman, with her lips drawn down at the corners as if they needed kissing into shape, put me into the hands of a bright mulatto boy, whom she called Dee Jay. This worthy conducted me to my chamber, and asked if I would like some oysters for supper.
"Oysters, by all means; a couple of dozen, fancy roast."
"Lor', marster, we ain't got so many in de house; an' ef we had, I 'clar to gracious, marster, two dozen two-poun' cans would kill you, sho'."
"Cans! Is it canned oysters you offered me?"
"Yes, sir —Cove. We had some fresh ones onct—I disremember what year it wus. But, lor'! we didn't know how ter open 'em, an' we jest pounded away at 'em wid brickbats till Mars' Andy come an' showed us how. Ain't it curus how dey kin live an' breathe de breff o' life shet up in dem tight shells?"
Declining to enter into a discussion on, oysters, I asked if "Mars' Andy" was Mr. Rucker.
"Yes, sir. Captin Rucker we mostly calls him. You acquainted wid him?"
"No; but to make his acquaintance happens to be my business here."
"Is dat so?" cried Dee Jay, with increased respect in his tones. "An' I made sho' you wus a-drummin' for seggars. Mars' Andy ain't very fond o' dem drummin' men," he went
on, confidentially; "in fac', dey ain't popular wid none o' dem lazy, long-legged Rucker boys. Dey kin fairly devil a stranger out o' toun if dey takes a notion. Hope you ain't gwine ter tread on de captin's toes, marster. He's a awful man to have a rassel wid."
"He must -be a terrible fellow," said I, laughing.
"Lor', dey ain't no harm in Mars' Andy. He's de head man in dis toun. He's as full o' pranks an' capers as a unbroke colt; but he's got as much sense as a horse."
With that compliment, in every way worthy of a returned Gulliver, my innocent Yahoo took me to the Widow Joplin's dining-room.
Before I had well finished my supper a tall man strode into the room, followed by two of the daintiest, prettiest little black- and-tan thorough-bred pups I had ever seen.
"How Angie would dote on them!" thought I.
The master of the pups was a noticeable man. Tall and broad-shouldered, with clean-cut features, and bright black eyes —so far not differing from any other. But his hair marked him among men as Samson's among the Philistines. Long and heavy, and iron-gray in color, it fell in actual ringlets to his shoulders, and gave almost a look of ferocity to his countenance.
"A character!" said I to myself, and longed to hear him speak.
The wish was not allowed to grow cold, as he came directly to me with:
"I hear, sir, there is a stranger in town who wants to see Andy Rucker. That's my name. Yours is—"
"Ned Merewether, at your service," said I, rising, with extended hand. "You have met my father."
"Oh yes; I am well acquainted with Jack Merewether," he said, giving me a prolonged look. "Well, Ned, let's take a drink."
Knowing the offence I should give by a refusal, I assented, though dreading the villanous compound I should have to swallow under the name of "old bourbon."
One drink followed another, and my head began to buzz a little. Several men dropped in, who were introduced by Mr. Rucker as kinsmen and friends. I proposed a health to "the Gentlemen of Sarsar," and the scene grew convivial.
"What d'ye think of our country, mister?" said an ill-looking youth, whom they addressed by the tender title of "Honey Rucker."
"It's as fine a country as I ever saw," responded I. "But you don't have many rich men, I suppose?"
"Rich men!" cried Mr. Rucker, in a tone of compassion; "why, youngster, we are all rich, only we don't like to show off. Good families—like the Ruckers—never make a parade. Now and then such a fellow as Yowell wants to spread himself. You remember, boys, how he went to old Nathan Weeks's funeral?"
"Rather!" said Honey Rucker, in a gloomy tone.
"It was a big funeral, and most of us walked, for carriages are unhandy on our roads. But Yowell wanted to make a show, so he and his must ride. He and his wife were in a four-wheeled gig, and every Jack and Gill of his seven children was toted by a likely negro boy, who sat astride a two-
hundred-dollar mule. Now, each one of those Africans would have sold for fifteen hundred dollars—aggregate, ten thousand five hundred dollars; the mules summed up to fourteen hundred dollars—making a clean sum of eleven thousand nine hundred dollars winding along these hills as unconcerned as a snake. What do you think of that for style?"
"Quite in the style of the Arabian Nights!" said I.
" 'Better worth seeing than the aurora borealis,' " quoted Mr. Honey Rucker.
"Ah! there are some queer people up here among these hills," said Captain Andy, with a shake of the head.
"What do you do in the way of sport?" asked I.
"Everything—chase foxes, run deer, spear fish. But our grand sport"—with sudden animation—"our Christmas frolic, is a nigger hunt."
"A what?"
"A negro chase perhaps you would call it. You see, our jail is such a ram-shackle affair that it is next to impossible to keep a prisoner in bonds, if he has any get-up-and-get in his make-up. The rascals break out and take to the hills. And when the humor takes us we hunt them down."
There was a laughing devil in Mr. Rucker's eye, and I knew not what to think. Determined, however, not to seem unsophisticated, I said, coolly,
"I should think such game would give you but a short run."
"Humph! put twenty hounds on a black rascal's track— they can scent it after it's a day old—and he will run faster than a deer, and out-manoeuvre a fox in dodging corners."
"Poor souls!"
"They haven't any souls, I fancy," said Mr. Rucker, easily; " 'poor bodies' would be more to the point, as they have to clip it to a galloping tune. Come, sir; no use walking on stilts away from home. Join us in our next hunt."
The man seemed as sober as a christened saint, but I felt I was the butt of a joke, and secretly resented it.
"Well, sir," said I, "I did not come here to make acquaintance with the sports of the gentry."
"And may I presume to ask why you did come?" inquired Mr. Rucker, with vast politeness.
"You should know best, sir, as I represent the firm of Avery & Merewether."
"Aha! I remember something was said of certain moneys that your people fancied I owed them."
"Fancy me no fancies, Mr. Rucker"—certainly the whiskey had gone into my head—"the money has to be paid."
"And you are the man that's to get it? Well, well, it would be a pity you should not have what you have come so far to gain—all, and more. I insist you should have more. I myself ought to make you a little gift."
"Very well," I said, good-humoredly, "I will gladly accept these little beauties"—and I caught up Mr. Rucker's pups.
"For your sweetheart?"
"For the prettiest girl in the county!" said I, laughing, and with a warm glow at my heart at the bare thought of my lovely little angel, Angie Bell.
Awaking with a clear head the next morning, I hurried
out to seek Mr. Rucker; but, to my annoyance, that eccentric
gentleman was nowhere to be found. Every one of whom I
inquired was too stupid even to guess at his whereabouts. "De captin is jes' like de sun," said my sympathizing
valet, Dee Jay: "sometimes he will shine out on folks, an'
agin, when de notion takes him, he will go under a cloud, an'
you can't put your finger on de place whar he is hid." "And how long is it his majesty's pleasure to stay under a
cloud?" "It 'ud take a wizard man to tell dat, marster." "I went to his house, hoping to see some member of his
family; but no one came to the door, though I rapped and
pounded half an hour." "He ain't got no family. De Rucker blood is purty nigh
run out in dis county." "Why, I thought every other man in it was a Rucker." "Well, dey is mostly cousins, or dey jes' tuk de name fur
glory. Mars' Andy had a lot of brothers onct, an' a par; but
dey wus killed, all along through de war—one a-bushwhackin',
one a-fightin' wid Morgan, one wid de fever, an' so on. Mars'
Andy hisself had a squeak fur his life onct on a time. He
wus lyin' on de field bleedin' from seventeen or eighteen
wounds, when along comes a calvary man a-swingin' of his
saviour—" "Dee Jay! what in the name of Heaven are you saying?"
"Along comes a calvary man on a big black horse,
a-swingin' his saviour in de air till it looked as round as a
cart-wheel an' flashed like de moon on fire. Mars' Andy shet
his eyes an' begun ter say his prayers; when pop! bang! off
went a musket from behind a tree, an' down went Mr. Rider
jes' like a grasshopper when a turkey gobbler nips him off a
sweet-pertater vine! "De captin tuk on mightily about our side gittin' beat,"
continued Dee Jay, encouraged by my laughter; "he ain't let
his hair grow sence Vicksburg fell, an' it turned grisly gray
dat same night. It was jes' struck all of a heap. Dat's why
de people here think so much o' Mars' Andy. Dey has sech
respec' fur his strong feelin's." "I wish his strong feelings would lead him to pay his
debts," muttered I. Mr. Rucker was not so cruel as to stay under a cloud all
day. In the afternoon he burst into my room, beaming like
the sun to which he had been compared. "It's all settled, my friend," he cried. "What! the debt?" "Bother the debt! A question of money should not arise
between gentlemen." "Gentlemen should pay what they owe," said I, grimly. "Softly, lad, softly. You are almost on the point of being
uncivil, in which case I should have to leave you to yourself." Dreading another disappearance on Mr. Rucker's part, I
said, "Really, sir, I had no intention of being uncivil. What is
it that is settled?"
"The chase—the hunt for the horny-heeled son of Ham." "That joke again?" "No joke about it. There is an idle fellow here—Bud
Kane by name—who was caught hog-stealing about a month
back. He has been hiding among the hills, and we think it
well to get him off our hands before Christmas." "You wouldn't kill the man?" "Oh no; only scare him a bit. If he gives us a good run
we will let him off scot-free. And he is the fleetest scamp in
the country. Lucky to be able to offer you such sport." "My good Mr. Rucker," said I, attempting to speak with
great moderation, "unequalled as such sport must be, you
must allow me to decline a share in it. You know my object
in coming here—" "My dear fellow," interrupted Rucker, "that is all right. I
have plenty of money burning for your pocket. But just now
I can't think of anything but the merry hunt! Come! let us
have it over, and then to business. I will promise that you
shall be fully satisfied. Perhaps, however, you are not a
rider?" It was silly of me, but I was really piqued, and thought I
should like to show this rough man of Sarsar whether I could
ride or not. I reflected, too, that it might be well to humor
his wish and join his hunting-party—it would probably turn
out some portentous joke played by the Gentlemen of Sarsar.
After it was "played out," Mr. Rucker could hardly fail to
meet my demands, hand over the money, and let me get back
to civilization—civilization and Angie Bell. "Well, well," said I, carelessly, "get me a decent mount,
and I'll join your party," whereon Mr. Rucker gave a tremendous
grin and hurried away. At a ridiculously early hour the next morning I was
aroused by a wild "Halloo!" under my window. Looking
out, I saw the Gentlemen of Sarsar in force—some twenty or
more vagabond-looking fellows, mounted on horses too nobly
built for such riders, all laughing, gesticulating, and occasionally
firing at the incautious chickens roosting in the trees
about the house. They were rigged out like a lot of banditti.
Some were armed with rifles, and all seemed to have equipped
themselves with what was left over from their war equipments,
including horse-pistols and bowie-knives, cavalry boots and
devil-may-care hats. I must say I felt uncommonly ticklish—
as much so as if I had been in Arabia with a set of Bedouins
inviting me for "sport" to plunder one of the desert caravans.
However, I gulped down my scruples with the morning cocktail
which we all took at the bar of the Widow Joplin, and
listened patiently while Mr. Rucker gasconaded about the
wonderful shots he had made, the tremendous leaps his horse
had taken over gullies and logs. "Unless you can stand rip-racing through the country as
if you were trying to shake hands with the lightning," said he,
"you had better not try to keep up with the hunt, but take a
stand on some overlooking hill—" "Mr. Rucker," cried I, "spare yourself any fears for me!" "All right, then. Let's be off; boys!" They leaped to their saddles with Texan agility; half a
dozen stag-hounds were brought to the front, and with another
"Halloo!" we were off.
Never shall I forget that ride. The keen morning air was
a stimulus that thrilled every sense to alertness. Mr. Rucker
carolled, in a robust voice: But the only lovely creature we met was the lady-moon
queen of this wild world of wood and mountain and stream,
now almost out of sight, as day was beginning to dawn. The
hills, near and far, rose like waking giants to meet the pale,
blinking stars; lights twinkled from the valley below; little
piping birds mingled their shrill notes with the sound of the
wood-chopper's axe. We rode at a brisk trot, Mr. Rucker and I in the rear.
Suddenly a cry was heard from one of the advance-guard. I
pressed forward, my mind's eye filled with a fine buck who
sniffed the "tainted gale" and sprung with beautiful fear
from his pursuers. Instead of which I saw a figure on two
legs —but I could not tell at the distance—spring across the field as if
Satan's fiends were after him. From this time all is confusion in my memory. Wild,
wild riding I recall, and a sense of reckless delight that vented
itself in shrill cries to my horse. The sun was just darting
up in slim scarlet lances. A light wind blew, and the very
drops of blood in my veins seemed to dance like the
pine-needles in the wind. What we pursued I no longer knew. I
was beside myself with the passion of the chase. Logs, bogs,
nor brooks appalled me. Fences and gullies were as shadows
leaped over in a dream. The infernal baying of the hounds
was music to my ear. Noble sport this, truly! Now and
then there was a glimpse of a flying figure—a male Atalanta
bounding over the ground with splendid speed; and finally
a sudden pull-up—a something at bay—and a sound of rifles
snapping and hounds yelping. "Fire, lad, fire!" cried Mr. Rucker. "For God's sake tell me—is it a man?" "Fire in the air, if you have any doubt," he said, with a
great laugh, and firing his own rifle at a tree-top. Wild with
excitement, I essayed to do the same. My horse plunged—my
gun went off—an awful cry followed the report, and a
voice shrieked: "He has killed him! He has shot Bud
Kane!" I leaped from my horse and rushed to the spot. There,
truly, lay a man—a muscular, finely-shaped young negro,
entirely nude but for a fox - skin thrown over his shoulders.
He was panting heavily, and his blood was staining the yellow
sedge-grass. I could not believe my eyes. I was almost distracted.
Had I done this horrible deed? Had I slain an inoffensive
fellow-creature, whose hands were certainly clean toward me,
no matter how many Sarsar hogs he had stolen? Innocent
I felt myself, yet guilty with a horrible guiltiness; for there
lay the poor wretch bleeding, like Marco Bozzaris, and not
a man among them all spoke a word of comfort.
A LITTER was made of the boughs of pine-trees and Bud
Kane lifted upon it. Mr. Rucker and I rode in advance of
the bearers, to prepare Bud's mother for the reception of her
son. "Man alive!" cried Andy, impatiently, "why did you not
fire in the air? Did you not see we were all doing so?" "I saw nothing. Why did you lead me into such a devil's
business?" "My dear Merewether," he said in a cool, dry tone, "like
Shakspeare's Jew, you bettered my instruction." At the door of a particularly mean-looking cabin Mr.
Rucker called a halt. A veritable hag sat in the door-way—
old, black, lean, and wrinkled, but with a head of crisp wool
as bushy as a box-plant. This person was engaged in the
curious operation of "roping" her hair—that is, dividing it
into small strands, each one of which was wrapped tightly to
its end with a white cotton string. "Hello, Aunt Diana!" said Mr. Rucker. "Why, Mars' Andy! Dat you? What brings you here
dis hour in de mornin'? Want a drink o' buttermilk?" "No; I've some bad news for you. Bud has met with an
accident." "What's dat you tell me?" She sprung to her feet. Anything more uncanny and
witch-like than her appearance cannot be imagined. On one
side of her head her hair stood out like an electrified mane,
evidently fresh from a vigorous carding; on the other it lay
flat in little snaky cotton twists. Her eyes rolled till they
seemed all white. One hand was on her hip; the other
stretched toward us with clinched fist. Mr. Rucker ran over the details of the accident without
mentioning my name. But she pinned me on the spot. "I s'pose you did it," she said, "seein' as you are a
stranger? Der ain't none o' de boys here would a-been so
clumsy." "Yes, my horse reared, and my gun went off accidentally.
I am very sorry—" "Sorrow don't butter no corn-pone," she interrupted, in a
high key. "I mistrusted sompen wrong yesterday when Mars'
Andy Rucker wus here persuadin' Bud ter take part in his
onmannerly, onchristian rampage." "What," cried I, in a passion in my turn, "it was a sell,
then after all?" Mr. Rucker smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "You would a-thought so," screamed Mother Kane, "if you
had a-heerd him beggin' Bud an' bribin' him to take de job.
Bud warn's noways anxious to dress hisself up in a fox-skin
an' go tarin' over de country, an' let de hounds be turned loose
on him. But says Mars' Andy, 'We will post horses in de
thickets, so that you can ride from one point to annudder, an'
save your strength to dash across de open fields an' keep
ahead o' de hunt. An' it will be a big frolic, Bud,' he says;
'an' when it's done you shell have a quart o' rum an' five
dollars fur de night's work.' Five dollars looked big enough
to cover de sun an' moon, it did! So he gin his consent, an'
"DIS AIN'T NUTHIN' SHORT OF MURDER, IT AIN'T.&rdquo
here's de end of it—Bud killed, an' me left ter scuffle along de
heavenly powers knows how!" She threw her apron over her head and began to weep. "I knowed mischief wus comin'," she sobbed. "Twarn't
on'y las' week dat ole Debby, de witch 'ooman, tole my fortune
on de shoulder-blade of a sheep, an' likewise de bres' bone of
a goose. 'Troubles dark an' many,' she says, 'an' a funeral in
de house, an' a hard row ter hoe!' An' I jis tell you, young
man"—dropping her apron and shaking her extraordinary old
head at me—"I'll have de law of you. Dis ain't nuthin' short
of murder, it ain't." "It was an accident," I cried; "and whatever I can do to
make amends you may be sure I will do." "Den you kin jist hen' me over some money fur de funeral
expenses an' odder matters." "How much do you want?" "Jes' put it to yourself, sir. Don't you think if you wus
tore away from your pa, an' his ole age left widout support, he
would ax a purty high figger to cover de loss?" "I think," said I, with much internal bitterness, "if my
father could see me at this moment he would think twenty-five
dollars a high value for my head." "Well, gimme dat, marster, an' I'll be satisfied." I handed her the sum, and we left the house, just as the
men bearing Bud on the litter came in sight and the old
mother began her distracting screams. "Rucker," said I, as we rode away—"Rucker"—and my
voice trembled with rage—"as I am a living man you shall
give me satisfaction for this."
"Let a harmless jest go by," he said, coldly, "and consider
your own position. I am bound to tell you that you are in
some danger. The negroes here are a wild lot, and, backed
by certain lawless white men I could mention, would just as
soon lynch you as not." "That I own would be quite in keeping with what I have
seen of the Gentlemen of Sarsar." "We will discuss the matter farther when you are rested.
You look fagged out," said Mr. Rucker, with an air of paternal
interest. At the Widow Joplin's I shut myself into my room, and,
throwing myself on my bed, fell into as profound a sleep as if
to shoot a man before breakfast was nothing more serious
than to bag a lot of birds. Toward noon Mr. Rucker came back. His face was drawn
into solemn lines, his ringlets hung damp and uncurled. "Kane is dead," he said. "No!" "The wound seemed a trifle at first; but traumatic tetanus
set in, and he went off like a shot." "I would give my right hand to undo this morning's
work." "Come, man, don't be cast down. My advice is that you
come with me at once to a magistrate and give yourself up.
I will go bail for your appearance at the April court. I need
not ask if you will be sure to be on hand?" "If I allow you to be my bondsman such a question is an
insult," said I, haughtily. "Exactly. I will go your bail for—say two thousand dollars.
And since this sum, like the rod of Aaron, swallows
up the smaller amount you came to collect, we will let that
matter rest over until you come on to your trial—eh?" "I am in your hands, Mr. Rucker," said I, fiercely, and
feeling like a rat in a trap, "and have no alternative but to
do as you suggest. But my father will be here as my legal
adviser, and I can tell you this whole thing will be well sifted." "Your father may count on my aid and friendship," said
Mr. Rucker, with the air of a generous potentate, "both for
his sake and yours." As he spoke there was a rap at the door, and a trim
mulatto girl answered to my "Come in." There was a gypsy
beauty in her bold black eyes, and mischief lurked in the
corners of her mouth; but she made a tolerably modest courtesy,
and said, "If you please, sir, I wus gwine ter be married." "That is not surprising," said Mr. Rucker, seeing me at a
loss how to reply to this unexpected confidence. "I should
think all the young bucks in the country would be after you." "I ain't gwine ter boast o' dat, Mars' Andy, for you knows
I never wus one o' dem flirtin', owdacious gals dat would jest
as soon sleep in de calaboose as anywhar else. But I wus
gwine ter marry decent an' respectable as any white lady, an'
have a gold ring an' piller-shams. An' now he's gone an' got
killed, and I ain't got nobody ter marry; and I jes' wish I was
dead, too." Here she began to weep, and, with a pang at the heart, I
realized that before me stood another victim of my fatal shot.
It was Bud Kane whom she was to marry!
"My poor girl—" said I. "Don't you poor girl me!" she cried, viciously. "I'm jest
as free as anybody, and I don't want no foolin' nor soft talk
from you nor no other white gentleman!" "Well, what do you want?" said I, roughly. "My circumstances is these," she said, checking her tears:
"that I have give up a good place I had at five dollars a
month, an' have spent all my savin's an' givin's a-buyin' weddin'
clothes an' a feather-bed, which I am meanin' to swap off to
the Widder Joplin for the tombstone of her fust husband, an'
set it up over poor Bud; the verses on it bein' ekally upproprite,
as they only says: "That is a fine idea of yours," said Mr. Rucker; "but you
wander from the point." "No, sir, I'm jest a-comin' to it. Seein' as I am all throwed
out an' disadvantaged, I thought if I had ten or twelve dollars
I could go to town, an' git a place an' earn my livin'; an' it
looked like de gentleman dat shot Bud ought tu holp me
along a little to kerry out my projecs an' git de better o' my
afflictions." My hand was in my pocket. I pulled it out holding a bill,
and bade good-bye to Bud Kane's interesting sweetheart. "You did well," said Mr. Rucker; "a policy of conciliation
now, by all means."
Our business at the magistrate's was soon transacted; but
after leaving his office we found it a matter of difficulty to get
past the crowd. A mob of negroes had collected, and muttered
threats made my blood run cold. Plainly Sarsar was no
longer a safe place for me. On reaching the inn I found myself awaited at the door of
my room by an imposing-looking old darkey, with white hair
and a stout cane. "Good-day, sir," said he. "If your name is young Mr.
Merewether I would like a few words wid you." "All right, uncle; come in." And I threw open the door
and flung myself into a chair. "Give me de satisfacshun to intreduce myse'f," said the old
man, with dignity, "as de parster of de Fust Methodis' Church,
limited." "Limited to what?" said I, profanely. "To de godly an' to de seekers; an' to dis latter class our
departed brudder, Bud Kane, belonged. He wus a seekin'
sperrit." "Bud Kane again!" "Dat pore wild lad lost his life as so many of our color
loses der manly sperrit—by submittin' to de white folks as if
dey wus monkeys instid o' men. But, in despite of Bud bein'
in some sort a son of Belial, he wanted ter do what wus right;
an' he hed agreed ter give us a small sum toward erectin' a
edifice fur prayer an' praise, de present meetin'-house bein'
subject to rats, an' bats, an' rain, an' de bad boys of Sarsar." "I really don't see how this matter concerns me!" cried I,
though, alas! I did see with fatal clearness what he was after.
"I wus thinkin', marster," he said, severely, "dat it mought be
a sort o' balm o' Gilead to your conscience to supply dat sum." "Better give him a trifle," whispered Mr. Rucker; "he has
great influence among the blacks." There was no help for it. A five-dollar bill passed from
my keeping into that of the "parster of the Fust Methodis'
Church, limited." I began to pack my portmanteau. "What are you about?" said Mr. Rucker. "About to leave your town. I can catch the night train
at L --- by making good speed." "So you can; but take my advice again and leave that
luggage." "Leave my portmanteau? But why?" "You won't be allowed to get away. The people are
keeping watch. I can manage it, however. Start out with
me as if for a friendly ride, and we can get on to L --- with
nobody the wiser; but if you start out with that carpet-sack I
won't answer for the consequences. I can send it after you in
a day or so." Again I had to submit—anything to get out of the
accursed place. We mounted our horses, Mr. Rucker ostentatiously
remarking that we were going out for a little ride. "You won't let him get away, Mars' Andy?" cried a voice. "Have no fear, boys—he is in Andy Rucker's charge!"
exclaimed another. Once away from them, I thought my trials at an end. But
there were yet other ordeals in store. From a cabin a shade
more dingy than Mother Kane's there rushed out a fat black
female, with three or four children hanging to her skirts. "Stop, stop, gentlemen!" she cried, and we reined in
accordingly. She laid her hand on the bridle of my horse. "Ain't you de gentleman dat killed Bud Kane?" she asked. Bud Kane's name was fast becoming the red rag to the bull. "What's that to you?" roared I. "Jest this, sir—these is Bud's chillern." "I wonder if there is anything or anybody in this town
that Bud Kane is not in some way connected with?" said I,
violently. "I suppose you want a little money to buy a black
frock?" "I ain't pertickeler es ter the frock, but I need the money
powerful bad to help raise the chillern, fur Bud always wus
mighty fond of 'em"—and she too began to weep. "He
always said he meant ter have Julius Caesar educated. He
wus de favorite, because he wus de oldest, an' de fust chile
Bud ebber had. Den he made a gret pet o' Leonidas,
because he wus de youngest an' prized accordin'; an' de gal
—Mary Margeret—" "Why, look here," said I, "I have just seen a girl who told
me she was going to marry Bud." "Yes, sir, he tole me he wus gwine ter marry. He wanted
me to have him, but lor! I wouldn't marry Bud, because he
didn't belong to de church!" I looked at Mr. Rucker. A grin convulsed his features.
There was nothing to be said. I gave some money to the
worthy matron, and we rode on. At last we were well out of Sarsar, and my spirits began to
rise. Suddenly we heard the clatter of a horse's hoofs coming
after us at a rapid gallop. "We are pursued!" said Mr. Rucker. "Let me give him a run for it," I cried. "No, no; wait here; guilt flies; you risk nothing in facing
whomsoever it may be." The pursuer turned out to be a lean little man, who
introduced himself as Dr. Mellar. "I heard you were about leaving town, Mr. Merryfield," he
said, briskly—"Merewether?—excuse me—and I wanted to
mention to you a little bill for attendance on the negro, Bud
Kane—his mother being unable to pay—and hearing you had
a fine feeling of honor—" I got down from my horse, squared my elbows, doubled my
fists. "Come on!" said I. "Are you mad?" cried the little doctor; and wheeling his
horse sharply round, he fled back to Sarsar. Before I mounted again I deliberately loaded my pistol. "This is a seven-shooter," said I to Mr. Rucker. "One
ball is for the undertaker, one for the grave-digger, the odd
ones for any of the mourners who may wish to be paid for
weeping at Bud Kane's funeral." "I think," cried Mr. Rucker, reeling slightly in his saddle,
as if convulsed by some internal emotion—"I really think we
have seen the last of them. You may shake the dust from
your feet, Mr. Merewether—you are out of Sarsar." It was shortly before Christmas that this adventure befell
me. Christmas-day dawned brightly, as it seemed, to all the
world but me. I had no heart to go to church, feeling in no
mood for the jubilant services. I was alone in the house,
and when there came a ring at the bell I answered the
door. There stood a remarkably tall, lithe negro man, with
my portmanteau in one hand, and in the other a little
covered basket. "Christmas-gift, marster!" he cried. "Merry Christmas to you. You can get a glass of eggnog
in the kitchen. I see you are from Sarsar. You have
brought back my portmanteau." "Yes, sir. Looks like you ought to know me by name,
young marster. You nearly shot my head off onct. Don't
you remember Bud Kane?" "Bud Kane!" "Yes, sir; dat's me. Mars' Andy tole you I wus dead; but
dat wus jest a joke o' his. Somebody axed him what made
him act so hateful to you, an' he said onct afar wus two men
standin' on de Court-house steps, an' one of 'em ups and knocks
de odder off de steps; an' dey had him up fur 'salt an' battery.
An' de judge says, 'What made you knock dat man offen de
steps? He wus a stranger ter you, an' not a-coin' no harm.'
An' de man says, 'I knows it, judge; I didn't have nothin' agin
de fellow; but de truth is, he stood so fair I couldn't help it.' " And Bud Kane chuckled as if I would be at no loss to
apply his choice anecdote. "Here's a note Mars' Andy sont you," he added. I took the note, and read as follows: "DEAR MEREWETHER,—I hope you don't bear malice. I know you will
be glad that Bud Kane is not dead, and send this note by him to convince
you of the fact. Of course tile bail business was a farce; and I return the
money you so handsomely shelled out to the various claimants. And I must
do myself the justice to say that I had nothing to do with Mother Kane's
onslaught; that was unpremeditated and original. "It is the season of forgiveness, so don't be backward about it. And,
in token of amity, accept the pups you admired—we call them Prince and
Pauper—and give them to your sweetheart. Come again to Sarsar on a
different errand, and I promise you a better welcome from rough old "ANDY RUCKER."
"You take those pups back," said I, "and tell Mr. Rucker
that I will accept nothing at his hands." "Yes, sir," said Bud, with a look of drollery; "but can't I
have my eggnog befo' I start back? Christmas-time, you know,
marster." "Oh yes, have all the eggnog you want; and when you are
ready to go come to me for a note I shall send to Mr.
Rucker." Bud Kane disappeared in the direction of the kitchen; and,
angry, mortified, humbled in my own esteem, I set myself to
the realization of how I had been duped. All the details of
the fine joke—just where truth ended and imposture began—
I should probably not know until I met Mr. Rucker. Then I
promised myself an explanation and an ugly quarrel. While I brooded over the matter the pups got out of the
basket and began to frisk about the room. Then who should
come in but Angie, rosy and beautiful, on her way home from
church. Down she went on her knees before the little beauties
in black-and-tan; and then she went into such raptures over
them, and kissed them so many times, that I couldn't stand it,
but offered her them and myself on the spot! She accepted
the three of us; and the next thing I knew I had Angie,
Prince, and Pauper in my arms, and was pressing a first kiss
on her smiling lips. Pauper happened to be somewhere
between her heart and mine, and in consequence was so cruelly
squeezed as to give a piercing howl; but it was a rapturous
moment. I loved all the world; I blessed Andy Rucker; and
I forgave the Gentlemen of Sarsar!
WHAT I said when I first come as a boarder ter Mr. Jed
Burridge's house on the Nine-mile Perarer wuz that his
daughter Janey would be snapped up before she wuz twenty,
an' Mr. B. would hev ter look out fur another wife. But his
sister, Mis' Stackley—commonly called Little Mary Jane, owin'
to her short height, an' to her havin' been left a widder at the
age of eighteen—she says ter me, "I tell you, brother Jed
don't want no more wives." "Land!" says I, "how many has he had?" "One," says she, very severe, "an' that one a handful. Sister
Lucilly wuz a good woman, but ther' wuzn't such a driver
on the perarer, an' she kep' Jed on the jump. If he come in
to set down a minnit, it 'ud be 'Jed, you peel them pertaters,'
or, 'Jed, tear me off some carpet rags—change o' work will
rest ye.' An' somehow, sence Lucilly wuz called, I've seen a
kind of expression of peace steal inter Jed's face that wuzn't
there o' former years." Amos Burridge's wife spoke up, an' says she, with a laugh, "Ther' ain't nothin' o' that sort on Lucilly's tombstone,"
says another sister o' Jed's—sister Charity Hackleton, who
wuz a tall lady, shaped like a camel, an' powerful religious—
"but a nice, hullsome epitaff settin' forth the virtues of the
deceased, an' a text of Scripture appropriate." "That's neither here nor there," says Nancy Jones as wuz,
who married the youngest o' the Burridge boys; "but as
to Janey Burridge bein' married afore she's twenty, I don't
believe she will be married at all. What with her mother
a-dyin' an' leavin' so much orthority in Janey's hands, the girl
is plum spoiled. Ther' ain't a Sunday but the house is filled
with beaux, an' she won't say yes, an' she won't say no. I
don't believe in no such doin's. It's flyin' in the face o' Providence.
When a girl has a good offer, she had ought ter take it." "No doubt o' that bein' your opinion, Nancy," said Mis'
Amos, a-smilin' quite amiable; but, fur all that, Nancy colored
up like a turkey-cock, fur folks do say that she snapped at her
good offer afore ever it wuz made. But la! this is a slanderous
world. "Eben will scatter the boys when he gits home," says
Little Mary Jane; "he ain't a-goin' ter stand the entertainin'
of such a crowd." "Janey feeds her beaux high," says I, parenthetical. "Maybe that's the attraction," sniffs Nancy Jones as wuz. "Don't you believe it," cries Amos B.'s wife, very prompt.
"It's Janey herself they are after. An' no wonder. She's as
smart as a steel-trap, an' as pretty as a young pullet. She can
pick an' choose." "Some folks' incinerations," says Nancy, very furious, "is
about as nasty as this here wool we are a-pickin' out."
It wuz at a wool-pickin' we wuz conversin', an' about this
time I had to leave, though very reluctant, as I did enjoy
a reg'lar set-to between Janey Burridge's aunts. Git 'em
together, an' they use' ter make me think of a line of poetry
in my readin'-book at school: They were free an' loud of voice as a pack of hounds, an'
when they didn't agree the din wuz tremenjus. Ther' wuz
four of 'em, two bein' Burridges by birth, an' two havin' married
inter the family. Certainly ther' wuz no porcity of aunts
to look after Janey, but as if enough wuzn't as good as a feast,
she always called me aunt too. I wuz no blood-kin to the
child, but my husband wuz connected in a roundabout way
with some o' the Burridges, so I wuz Aunt Fonie to most o'
the young folks, an' I wuz that fussless in my natur' that I
got on peaceable with the hull lot, though the aunts wuz as
tryin' as seven years' aguy, an' Janey would make a sassy
speech occasional. Fur instance, the day o' the wool-pickin',
when I got home she wuz leanin' on the gate a-chattin' ter
Roland Selph, who had been cock o' the walk on the perarer
sence he got religion in the spring. Janey's sleeves wuz rolled
up ter the shoulders, an' her arms wuz all dough, a- showin' she
had jest left her bread in the pan to rise or fall as the Lord
willed. "Bread an' beaux," says I to her, speakin' mild but
impressive, "has both to be treated with attention; but the
Queen of England," says I—"no, nor the Sar of Russia—
couldn't 'tend to the two simultaneous." "Well, Aunt Fonie," cries Janey, "if a person can't do two
things at onct, what makes you think you can manage your
business an' mine too?" I won't deny that my feelin's wuz hurt. People ought ter
be mighty careful what they say ter an isolate female whose
partner is a-restin' with the worms. But somehow I never could stay mad with Janey. She
wuz such a cheerful person to have around: somethin' eternally
goin' on wher' she wuz. She wuz as good as a breeze
among leaves to set things a-goin'; an' she could turn out
more work in a day than most of us in a week. She wuz
powerful good-lookin' too, Janey wuz, with crisp black hair,
cheeks like apples, an' a big, laughin' mouth full o' white teeth,
that she akchilly thought as much of as if they wuz diamonds. Nobody don't consider a boy of much account. And I
don't say but that little Elick Farley had a hard time of it
at the farm. He wuz a child that Mr. Burridge had took out
of charity—a son of a distant niece of his, who had married a
young man by the name of Alexander Farley, from St. Louis. It wuz the sort of marriage that the song of "Dixie" tells
about: Not that Lex Farley meant ter be a bad man. He wuz kind,
and could make money hand over hand in the photographin'
line when he wanted to. But drink seemed ter have a lien on
him, an' he would spree in the awfullest way, always insistin',
when the fit wuz on him, that he should be called General
Harrison. What the p'int of this idea was nobody ever could
exactly see, except that it seemed a sort o' pride o' natur'
comin' out even when he wuz at the lowest pitch. But he
carrid on so ridickerlous in his spells that his wife's spirits
seemed to wear out. She wuz always weakly, an' she up an'
died. The only spark o' fun that wuz ever in the poor girl
showed itself on her dyin' bed. "I think," says she, smilin' very pitiful—"I do think I
might git up agen, if it wuzn't fur—"Then she stopped a
long while. "If it wuzn't for what, Effie?" asks a neighbor. "Fur General Harrison," she whispers, very gentle. After her death, Jed Burridge took her boy to bring him
up on the farm, out o' the reach o' temptation. Elick wuz a
wild flitter-gibbet, always a-needin' to be kept down, but a real
worker fur his age. One of his chores wuz to go to the post-office. Most o'
the folks on the perarer wuz mighty neglectful as to mail
matter, trustin' usually to the chance of some neighbor
inquirin' fur 'em, or lettin' it run on indefinite; but Jed Burridge
always would keep up with things, bein' a man very
advanced in his notions. Once every week reg'lar, rain or
shine, Elick was sent in to the office; most ginerally Saturday
evenin's, so as Jed could git his paper, the Toledo Blade, fur
Sunday readin'. He didn't git to church frequent, but set up
an' chuckled an' swore alternate over that paper; fur it wuz
as hot as ginger, an' Jed, though a powerful peaceful man,
agreed with it all, an' rolled out politics like smoke if a
Democrat dropped in fur an argeyment.
On a special Saturday Elick fetched home a letter from
Eben Burridge to his pa, sayin' we might expect him by the
15th which wuz the following Sunday. Eben had been out in
Kansas fur a couple o' years, seekin' a place to locate. It
seemed he hadn't found one, however, fur the next day he
arrove at home, like Duffey after the third round, confident an'
smilin', as pompous an' self-satisfied a little man as ever I see.
After dinner the boys came a-droppin' in as usual, an' what
does he do but take the'r visits to hisself! When Janey come
to the sittin'-room door to bid 'em to supper, ther' wuz as
many as a dozen, lookin' at each other like gawks, but all very
perlite to Eben, wantin' to curry favor with Janey. "Now, I take this as kind, boys," says Eben, quite affable,
as we set round the table, "that you should all come so soon
to see me. It takes the old perarer fur good fellows. I tell
you, out yonder in Kansas it's scramble, scramble, an' everybody
a-suspicionin' of everybody. If ther' wuz a conflaggeration
of a neighbor's house, every man would be a-crowdin' in
ter see what he could git fur hisself in the way o' pelf, instead
o' helpin' to save a sufferin' fellow-creetur's goods." "Sho," says Amos Burridge, "we ain't that bad, though
neither air we what we use' ter be. Fifty years ago, when I
settled here, you might talk. There wuzn't a merkenary man
among us. No pullin' an' haulin' an' cat-scratchin' ter git
ahead. Pervide enough ter eat fur yourself an' your stock,
an' you could ride aroun' the balance o' the time." "I'm sure ther's a-plenty of visitin' nowadays," says I, likin'
always to hear my bob in conversation. " 'Tain't the same kind. Folks drop in, ter be sure; but
then they went fur a stayin' spell. The doors wuz made of
split boards two or three inches too short, an' when you left
home all you hed to do wuz ter throw a quilt over the top, an'
then folks would know you wuz out, an' wouldn't holler." "Mighty funny way ter make a door!" says Elick Farley. "Ther' wuz no winders, don't you see. Not a pane o'
glass on the Nine-mile. I remember the first man that hed
any made half his front door of glass; an' it wuz a sort o'
guide: so many miles east or west o' the cabin with the glass
door, folks would say. "Wonder what they say about our house?" says Elick,
stuffin' a laugh inter his throat with a piece of bread.
"Reckon they talk about t'other side o' wher' Janey Black-Eyes
lives." "Hold your jaw!" says Eben, fetchin' Elick a awful tweak
o' the ear. Elick squeals out: "Ho! you stuck-up Kansas grasshopper!
Think the fellows come ter see you, do you? Ain't
got sense enough to know they're after Janey! They didn't
know you wuz looked fur. They comes every Sunday o' the
world. Ho! ho! and you thought you wuz so pretty that you
drawed the whole squad! Ef that ain't a joke I never!" Them young men turned every color, from a pea-green to
a grizzly gray. An' Eben looked red and furious from one
ter another. "Is this so?" says he, glarin' round. "Is it Janey you've
come ter set up with?" As luck would have it, he looked straight at Roland Selph,
an' Roland sence he got religion had swore off from tellin'
lies, though the boys wuz always tryin' to git him in a tight
place where he couldn't speak the truth without a-hurtin'
somebody's feelin's. Howsomever, Roland laughed, good-humored, an' says he,
"Wher' ther's honey you must look for flies, Eben." "Yes," says Eben, very significant, an' lookin' as if he
would like to bite somethin', "and wher' ther's flies you can
look out fur fly-pizen. What have you to say fur yourself,
Charley Winn?" "I have ter say that I come a-courtin' Janey," says Mr.
Winn, as bold as brass; "an' she can take me or leave me
any day she says the word." "Brother Eben," cries Janey, her face afire, "I wish you
wuz back in Kansas, that I do." "Very well," says Eben, quite majestic, "I relieve you of
my company fur the present. "An' out he stalks, puffin' like
a mad gobbler. "Boys, we'd better git our hats," says Albert Thing. They got up, and every last one of 'em slips away like a
whip-tailed hound. Janey burst out a-cryin', without waitin' to wash up the
supper things. "Of all the mean sneaks that ever wuz born, Ebenezer
Burridge, you are the worst," she said. "Do you want your par eat out of house an' home?" "Well, on my word! to count company's eatin'!" "I should say so! A supper spread out fit fur a preacher!
Two dishes of fresh, an' apple butter, an' a stack o' pies, an'
dear knows what! I'll stand nothin' of the sort in my house."
"Easy, my boy, easy," says his par. "This property belongs
to old Jed Burridge yet a while." "Well, it's a-goin' to be mine by the law of primogenicy,"
says Eben, very grand; "an' all I have to say is, that if Jane
wants ter marry, she's got to pick one outen the crowd, an'
turn the rest off. My foot is down." "La, Eben!" says I, "it's so hard for Janey to choose.
She's the most popperler girl on the perarer." "Popperler!" yells Eben. "An' what business has a decent
woman to be popperler? Let her be popperler with her husband,
an' that's enough. I've saw your popperler women—I
haven't travelled with my eyes shut—an' I tell you they've got
no more character than stale eggs." The words wuzn't well spoke afore up jumped Janey an'
give him such a slap as might have been heard to the wheat
field. Then she tore off like a cyclone to her room. Eben wuz in a blazin' rage; but his par he on'y laughed
a little, and "Ain't she got sperrit?" says he. "Ain't she,
though?" Then a sort of shade came over his face, and "She
do put me so much in mind of her mother," he said, a-knockin'
the ashes out of his pipe. It didn't surprise any of us, a few weeks later, when Janey
told her par that she meant to marry Charley Winn; fur he
had been comin' alone quite frequent, an' he an' Janey had set
up in the parlor, not findin' much ter say. "I ain't no objection to Charley," says Jed, "an' I shall give
Janey fifty geese an' ten sheep an' a cow."
"Charley's goin' ter build, par," says Janey—"three rooms
an' a ell. It will be real nice beginnin' all fresh." Everybody seemed to think Janey had done well, and most
had a warm word fur her. The aunts would try to fault
Charley occasional, but they couldn't git the best o' Janey;
an' neither could Eben when he fussed with her about wantin'
to take so much o' the furniture out o' the house. "It wuz my mother's furniture," says she, "an' I mean ter
have it." "Well, wozn't she my mother too?" snarls Eben. "D'ye
think you have got a patent on her? Ther' won't be a thing
left in the house for me and my girl to set up with." Neither one of 'em appeared to consider the old father as
they wrangled over his things. I made up my mind, if Janey
did make a clean sweep, I should unpack some of my own
goods that I had stored in Peppertown, an' bring 'em over;
for though a boarder I wuz human, an' my feelin's went out to
Jed settin' there so peaceful, with his pipe an' his white head. Charley Winn lost no time in gettin' his house put up, an'
a good job it wuz—neat an' nice as a palace, with a bay-window
an' plenty o' closets. Every evenin' Janey would go over
to see how it wuz gittin' along, an' Charley would walk home
with her, both of 'em lookin' as proud an' as pleased as if the
whole o' the comin' wheat crop belonged to 'em. The weddin'
wuz to be just after harvestin', that bein' a time when everybody
took a restin' spell. Janey's weddin' frock wuz bein'
made in Peppertown, an' Jed had made her a present of a
whole bolt of domestic that we wuz makin' up as fast as
possible. He wuz a mighty liberal man, Jed wuz, an' Janey's
aunts said that her outfittin' would be the ruin of every girl
on the perarer. The wheat crop this year wuz a very stavin' one, and the
farmers had considerable difficulty in gittin' help. "I reckon you'll have to ride the reaper to-morrow, Janey,"
says Eben, one night at supper, "if you can spare the time." "All right," she said. "My work can wait, an' the wheat
can't. It's already overripe." "I don't see how you can be so venturesome as to ride on
the reaper," says I. "Janey is an old hand at helpin' in the crop," says her pa.
"When she wuzn't more'n half the size o' Elick here she rid
the leadin' horse when we wuz a-thrashin' out the wheat." "Why, uncle, didn't you have a thrashin'-machine?" cries
Elick, stickin' his knife between his teeth, an' proddin' a piece
o' pork with his fork, simultaneous with stretchin' out his
other hand for a biscuit. "Machines wuz locked up then in some man's brain," says
Jed; "an' sometimes I wish they had never got out, fur it
gives a poor man's pocket-book the swinney to buy one. The
way we thrashed wuz to set the bundles in a ring about forty
feet in diameter, I cal'late, an' ride around it, the horses' feet
a-trampin' out the grain. An' when it wuz pretty well out
we would sweep it up in a cloth." "I should think it would 'a been awful unclean." "Well, our biscuits wuz gritty sometimes," says Jed, with a
smile. Long before sun-up the next mornin' Ebenezer gave us a
call, for at harvest-time the sooner you could git things to
goin' the better. In fact, durin' a very dry season, when the
sun shone down hot an' fierce, an' the wheat wuz as brittle as
broom straws, an' it wuz a sheer impossibility to bundle it without
breakin', then the men would often have to work all night,
so's ter take advantage o' the dew. 'Twan't no great hardship,
however, with the big yellow harvest-moon a-shinin' in the
sky, an' the air so cool an' pleasant. But it wuz powerful apt
to bring on the chills. When Janey jumped out o' bed at Eben's call she said she
had a pain in her left eye, and wuz afeared she wuz goin' ter
have a sty, to which she wuz subject occasional. We had a
piece o' broken lookin'-glass in our room, an' takin' it in her
hand, Janey went to the winder to examine her eye where she
could ketch the first beam o' light. While she stood there, as
evil doom would have it, Elick Farley passed by on his way
ter feed the turkeys. "Hi, Janey!" he calls, "you'd better come down-stairs an'
git the breakfast, instid of a-primpin' an' a-fixin' an' a-lookin' in
the glass as if you wuz goin' to a party." "You go about your business an' let me alone," says Janey
firin' up a little. Then what does he do but commence a-dancin' up an'
down, an' a-singin': At this Janey turned real ugly. "See if I can't make
you change your tune," she cries. And without a moment's
thought, I am sure, she flung the piece o' lookin'-glass square
at Elick's head. It struck him on the forehead, an' he began
to bleed and howl simultaneous. We ran down, considerably
skeered; but the cut didn't turn out to be much, an' wuz soon
salved and bound up. Elick's feelin's, however, wuz all agog.
Many a black look he cast at Janey. "I'll be even with you yet," says he, "an' you mark my
words." But Janey on'y humped up her shoulders at him, an'
went along to the wheat field. Reapin' is hungry work, an' our harvesters could put away
four meals a day quite comfortable. So along about eleven
o'clock I fixed up a lunch of cold biscuit an' pork an' hoecake,
an' a jug of cool buttermilk, an' went ter the field with it.
Fur though I wuz a boarder, I wuz never above doin' any
little chores to help the work along. I got to the field just as the reaper wuz comin' up. Janey
wuz sittin' up high under the awnin' drivin', an' Charley Winn
stood beside her, a-tyin' up the bundles very swift. Eben wuz
stackin' up in a distant part o' the field, an' his par had stopped
to rest under a big walnut-tree which wuz a sort o' landmark
to people in those parts, it bein' the tallest tree on the
Nine-mile, an' wuz ginerally known as "Burridge's walnut."
Here they gethered ter eat their lunch. "Phew! but it's a hot day!" says Jed, takin' a long pull at
the buttermilk, an' passin' the jug to Charley Winn. "The wheat field is a mighty purty sight," says I; for it
wuz, with the yellow sun shinin' on the yellow waves o' grain,
an' the path that the reaper had made lookin' as smooth an'
clean an' hare as the dry line through the Red Sea.
"I don't know about purty," says Jed, "but it's as fine a
stand of wheat as I ever had. Not a spear of cheat in it. An'
this one good year the Hessian fly an' the chinch-bug has let
us alone." "Ther' ain't a farmer in the country as can compare with
you, Mr. Burridge," says Charley Winn. "I only hope to
have half as good-luck when I am tryin' it single-hand." "Sho! you'll have Janey ter help you. She's as good a
farmer as I am. I allays said Janey ought ter 'a bin the boy
an' Eben the girl in our family. Eben has a picayunish,
meachin' sort o' way with him as is nateral to women. His
mother hed it," went on the old man, quite thoughtful, an'
chewin' a wheat straw. "But Janey is another sort, active an'
strong, an' muscles like steel." "Oh, I love ter work out-doors," cries Janey. "I can do
a'most anything that a man can. I don't know what I should
do if I had to stay shut up in the house." "I believe you could throw me in a rassel," says Charley.
"What a muscle, ter be sure!" an' he give her arm a squeeze. Janey tossed her head, an' colored up, an' laughed—a big,
saucy laugh. Gracious! if any one had told me that I would
never again hear that laugh, never see her standin', strong an'
vigorous as a young oak, an' red as a poppy bloom, in the
golden grain, with her sweetheart by her side! Well, well!
a body may jest as well give up soon as late a-tryin' ter
understand the ways of Providence! They set off again, Janey still a-drivin', an' I started fur
home. As I reached the bars I turned an' looked back. The
reaper wuz cuttin' against the wind. Janey's bonnet wuz off,
an' her black hair wuz blowin' over her face. Suddenly I saw
a little sunbeam dancin' about the head of old Pete, the right-hand
horse. He shook his head, annoyed like; but the little
patch of light went bobbin', bobbin', here an' there, glancin' in
eyes, ears, an' nose, quick as a hummin'-bird, an' finally flashin'
full in the eyes of Nelly Grey, the little mare, that wuz
a-drivin' with old Pete. The skittish thing give an awful
jump. The next minnit both frightened animals had started
off on a run, an' Janey, poor Janey, wuz thrown forward in
front of the sickle bar! Great Heaven! what a time it seemed
before the horses could be overtook an' halted! How I got to
the spot I never could tell. When I did, ther' wuz Ebenezer
holdin' to the pantin', tremblin' horses, that wuz rollin' the'r
eyes as if in a mortal fright. An' Charley an' Jed wuz tryin'
to lift somethin' from the knives, red with blood, an' the pointed
guards clogged with mangled flesh. They got her
out, and laid her down on the ground. Charley went over to
the house, an' came back with a door that he had wrenched
off, an' we managed to git her on this, knowin' only by a faint
moanin' that the breath wuz still in the poor torn body. Eben an' Jed crept across the field with the'r burden, while
Charley jumped on Nelly Grey an' rid like mad fur the
doctor. I walked a little behind, feelin' stunned an' dazed; an' as
I passed under "Burridge's walnut" I heard a voice callin',
"Aunt Fonie!" I looked up. A pair of wild eyes peered at me through
the branches. "Aunt Fonie," called Elick, "is she dead?"
"Come down outen that tree, Elick Farley!" says I, very
solemn. Down he slid, the most miserable, God-forsakened little
wretch. He had cried white streaks down his cheeks, an' he
wuz a-shakin' all over. In his hand be held a bit of broken looking-glass. "What does this mean?" says I. "I did it," he says, very pitiful. "I wanted to tease her
because I wuz mad, an' wanted to pay her off a little. I knew
she never could guess that I wuz hid up in the tree catchin'
the sunbeam with the same piece of glass that she struck me
with. But I didn't mean to hurt her. I never dreamed o' her
bein' thrown on them—them knives." "Elick Farley," says I, takin' him hard by the hand, "come
here;" and I followed the men that wuz a-carryin' poor Janey. "Look!" says I—"look!" and along the path wuz a line o'
drippin' blood. "Pray," says I, burstin' inter tears—"pray to the good God
that that stain shell not rest forever on your soul." The child give a wild cry that seemed as if it had fairly
burst from his heart; then tearin' away from me, he ran like a
dart across the perarer, in the direction of Peppertown. Fur many a draggin' week poor Janey lay betwixt life an'
death. The child wuz cut an' bruised over every part of her
body. Two of her ribs wuz broke, an' one limb had been
impaled on the guards of the sickle, an' wuz nearly sawed in
two. That she should so much as survive the shock an'
horrid wounds seemed a miracle; but the doctor brought her
round at last, though he told her quite frank she would never
be able ter walk again. "Never ter walk again!" said Janey, flingin' her arms over
her head, with a long, long groan—"never ter walk again!
Oh, Lord! oh, Lord!" The aunts wuz all a-settin' round very solemn, an' they
sithed an' rocked themselves back an' forth like trees in a
wind. "It's the Lords will," says sister Charity Hackleton; "an'
mebbe it's sent es a punishment fur your sins." "That's all nonsense," says Janey, very dogged like. "What
sins have I committed, I want ter know? I've worked hard,
an' done my best; an' beyond a sharp word now an' then, I've
nothin' on my conscience. I don't deserve this." "We all deserve damnation," says Charity, severe as a
Hard-shell preacher. "Let this turn your soul to God, an' it
will prove a blessin' in disguise." "Sho!" says Mis' Amos Burridge; "ther' ain't no use tryin'
ter bolster the poor child up with such talk es that. It's a
terrible misfortin—terrible. It's jest es if she had jumped from
twenty years to eighty—from bein' a strong young girl to a
helpless old woman, needin' es much care es a baby, an'
sufferin' perhaps fur a drink o' water even; because a family
do git so wore out waitin' on a invaleed." "In my family," says I, "ther' would a' bin no thought o'
trouble. We wuzn't the kind ter count our steps fur the
afflicted. Consequently, when my husband's mother wuz down
with the rheumatism fur years an' years, her room wuz about
the cheerfulest in the house—fur everybody wuz a-runnin' to
her with some lovin' service—an' the Visitation o' the Sick
read quite frequent to enliven us." "Never mind all that," says Little Mary Jane, with a wave
of her little fat hand. "Let us be practical. The thing is ter
find somethin' fur Janey ter do. I cal'late she don't mean ter
lie round all her days a burden on folks, so I've bin a-studyin'
an' a-studyin' what she could do. Now, I take it she couldn't
do nothin' better than ter buy a knittin'-machine. She could
pervide mittens an' socks fur the whole country, fur everybody
would buy of her on account of her affliction; an' thusly she
could have ockerapation an' a stiddy income." "Knittin'-machines cost a sight o' money," says Amos
Burridge's wife, very dry. "Who's goin' ter pay fur it?" "She might sell her geese fur a start." "An' her relations might all throw in an' help," says I. At this there wuz a sort o' silence. Never a Burridge by
name or by birth wuz ever willin' to put his hand in his
pocket. "Well," says Nancy Jones as wuz, "some has to be burdens,
an' some to bear 'em. I'm one o' the last, an' I don't know but
what I'm the worse off o' the two of us. Twins the first year
o' my marriage, an' a baby ten months after! I am fairly dragged
out with nursin', an' I suppose I shell have a baby in
my arms es long es I am able to move." "That's somethin' Janey will never be troubled with,
anyhow," says Mis' Amos, with a laugh, as if she wuz sayin'
somethin' of a soothin' an' agreeable natur'. So far from that bein'
the case, however, it seemed as if that speech wuz the last
straw. I had noticed fur some time a sort of convulsive movement
under the bedclothes, as if Janey's breast wuz a-heavin'
with silent sobs, an' now ther' came a storm o' tears an' cries,
as if natur' had bore an' bore until a flood came fur relief. I jest riz up then, an' says I: "Clear out from here, you
onfeelin' set o' human critters! If I didn't have no more
decency than you've got, I'd go an' hold my head under Big
Muddy Creek." They wuz skeered at the state they see they'd throwed
Janey inter, so they filed out pretty meek. I took the poor
child, an' worked with her, an' made her drink some hot tea
an' take a good strengthenin' dose of quineen; an' after a
while she grew quiet, an' the big moans stopped comin' from
the poor breast where a child's head would never rest, an' she
fell inter a sweet sleep. Afore I thought her nap wuz over Eben's head wuz poked
in the door. Says he, "Charley Winn's here, an' would like
ter see Janey." "Well, he can't," says I, very short, "fur she is asleep." "I am awake now, Aunt Fonie," says a voice from the bed.
"An' Charley may come in as soon as you've tidied me up a
bit." Pretty soon we heard his step on the stair. Janey wuz
tremblin', but she shook hands with him quite calm when he
came in, an' she says, "You go out, Aunt Fonie; I want to
talk to Charley by himself." But, dear sakes! I had no notion of effacin' myself, so I
stepped outside o' the door, leavin' it ajee, an' a-settin' myself
where I could look an' listen quite comfortable.
Janey day there, her big eyes fixed on Charley's face. He
stood up, twirlin' his hat, first on one foot, then on the other,
an' lookin' powerful meachin', fur a fact. "Charley," begun poor Janey, "it's hard to come to this." "I'd like to kill that little devil!" cried Charley. "Oh no, don't say that. Poor child! you know he ran
away to his pa: you remember Lex Farley? Lex wrote a
letter ter my father, expressin' a great deal o' concern. He
said it seemed as if Elick's heart wuz fairly broke. Maybe
he'll make a good man yet." "If he gits ter be the President, I don't see how that's ter
make up ter me fur losin' you." "A-losin' me?" repeats Janey, very slow. "But I ain't dead,
Charley, nor like ter die, the doctor says." That hat went round in Charley's fingers as if it wuz
possessed. "But you know, Janey," he stammered—"you know,
a man hes to marry a woman ter do her shear o' the work.
And you can't do anything." "True," says Janey, speakin' very loud an' harsh, "I'm laid
on the shelf. An' of course a man marries a woman ter have
his meals cooked reg'lar, an' the harvestin' 'tended to, an' the
lard tried out, an' the apple-butter made, an' the geese plucked,
an' the house cleaned, an' the washin' done on Monday, an' the
mendin' Saturday, an' the odd jobs on Sunday." "Exactly," says he, noddin' his head, an' never mistrustin'
—the gawk!—that any woman with feelin's above a dumb
beast's would 'a liked fur her beau to add a little tenderness
to that bill of pertikelers. Janey swallered a few times, an' then said, quite nateral,
"Of course, Charley, you will be marryin' some one else before
a great while?" "Oh yes," he says. "My house is built, you know, an' I've
already got my seed in that fifty-acre lot. I shell have to git
me a wife by next harvest-time, you know." "An' have you made up your mind," says Janey, very
polite, "where you'll go a-courtin' next time?" Don't talk to me about a man havin' any gumption!
Charley Winn seemed quite pleased that Janey wuz takin'
intrust in his marryin', an' says he, in a sociable kind o' way,
as if he had been talkin' to his grandmother, "I have been
thinkin' of Mahaly Thing." "She's powerful untidy," says Janey. "They say she washes
her hands an' makes up her bread in the same bowl. An' I
know her kitchen is the sloppiest on the Nine-mile." "What do you think of Hatty Holman?" "Oh, she would do," says Janey, speakin' quite dry, "if you
could keep two hired girls—one to do the work, an' one to
wait on her. She's as lazy as a snail." "Well, ther's Evy Wait; she appears to be of a brisk,
active natur'." "So much so that they say she can drink more hard cider
than any girl on the perarer." Charley knit up his brows, ant looked as if the subject wuz
gittin' very knotty. "Suppose I wuz to ask one o' the Whiteside girls?" he
suggested; "they are purty, and smart too." "Oh yes; and they'll give a kiss for the askin' to you or
the next one that comes along."
"I don't like that," says Charley, very stern. "None o'
your fast flirts fur me! That's what I use' ter like about you,
Janey. Every fellow hed to keep his distance. Now, the
Biscoe girls are of a very proper kind. Wonder how it would
do fur me to apply there?" "Jenny is engaged to Roland Selph; an' as fur Leila, she
wouldn't wipe her shoes on a Western wheat farmer. "An' es to Polly Ann Carpenter?" "She is a waster. She can throw out with a teaspoon
faster than a man can bring in with a shovel." "I declare, Janey," said Charley, seemin' quite injured, "it
looks es if you don't want me ter git a wife. You try to set
me agen every girl on the perarer. 'Pears like you can't bear
to give me up to anybody else." "You are quite mistaken, Mr. Winn," cries poor Janey, her
voice risin' higher with every word—"quite mistaken, I do
assure you. I've no objection to your havin' forty wives.
You might go to Utah an' join the Mormons; then you could
try all kinds, you know—ha! ha! ha! ha!" When I heard this wild laughin' I knew it wuz time to
walk in with the camphor bottle in hand. "I think you hed better make yourself scarce," says I to
Charley Winn, with a very viperish look. Pickin' up his hat,
he sneaked out o' the room, an' out o' Janey Burridge's life.
An' I may jest as well mention that it wuzn't six months afore
he wuz married to Mahaly Thing.
Janey didn't seem ter git any better as the days passed on.
She took no intrust in anything in the heavens above nor in
the earth beneath. The doctor said he couldn't do no more
fur her, en' except to make her pretty deef, all the quineen she
took didn't have a mite of effect. Seein' her so dwindlin' an'
pinin', I set my wits ter work. The child ought ter have
somethin' to engage her time an' her mind. An' Little Mary
Jane's idea as to the knittin'-machine wuz fur from bein' a
injudishus one. How to git the purchase-money wuz the
trouble. The thought come to me that Lex Farley might
jest as well as not help in the matter; so I wrote him a letter
on my own hook, as the sayin' is, an' presented the case. By
the next Saturday came an answer sayin' he would be proud
ter git the machine out an' out for Janey, but fur me to say
nothin' about it till it had arrove. In the same mail wuz a
letter ter me from poor little Elick, a-sayin' thusly: "DEAR AUNT FONIE,—Pa has swore off till he gits Janey's
machine. I am a-helpin' him, an' learnin' the photographin'
business very fast. Give my respex ter Janey. I am very
sorry that she got hurt. Yours truely, E. FARLEY." "Seems ter me you're gittin' a lot o' letters," says Eben
when he handed 'em to me; but I only smiled mysterious, an'
said not a word. I never had seen Janey so low as she wuz the day before
Thanksgivin'. I wuz bustlin' round preparin' fur nex' day's
dinner, but she barely raised her eyelids from her cheeks.
"What hev I ter be thankful fur?" she would say when I
would try to hearten her up somewhat. Before night, however, Janey took back them words o' hens;
fur old Mr. Thing, passin' by on his way from town, stopped
with a box outen the express office directed to "Miss Janey
Burridge." "Fur me!" cries Janey, very incredulous, but her eyes
sparklin' as I hadn't seen 'em since her accident. We all assembled while Jed knocked off the wooden slats
an' untied the strings; fur, be the hurry what it may, the man
wuz that careful that cut a string he would not. An' lo an' behold! there wuz the prettiest knittin'-machine
ever made, with a card: Janey wuz pleased enough ter cry, an' I don't believe she
slept a wink that night fur longin' ter try her hand on the
little beauty. The aunts didn't lose no time in comin' over to
the house as soon as they got wind o' Janey's present. An'
sister Charity, who understood how to work machines, offered
to stay a week, if need be, to put Janey in the way o' runnin'
hers; which showed she wuzn't a bad kind o' woman, in spite
o' bein' so aggressive in the way o' religion. From that time Janey's health an' spirits improved
considerable. She turned out mittens an' socks very fast; an' the
very first pair wuz sent as a present to Lex Farley. As fur
me, seein' how well my idea had worked, an' though not as a
rule approvin' of ridin' a willin' horse to death, still I thought,
while his hand was in, Lex might as well as not lay up more
treasures in heaven. So I up an' wrote another letter, sayin'
that if Janey had a wheel-cheer, it would be the greatest thing
in the world fur her to ease her pain, an' enable her ter git
about. No answer came to this; but I waited patient, thinkin'
somethin' might come of it. An' ther' did. Christmas had come, an' we all had bundled up in the big
wagon, an' gone over ter Amos Burridge's to dinner—except, of
course, poor Janey, who wuz left in the charge of one o' the
neighbors' children, little Sally Wysnicker, with a nice dinner
ready cooked for 'em, and set out in the dresser. The day wore along as them family spreads usually do,
an' about four o'clock we started fur home. Now, it's a very
curious thing, but as we reached the corner o' Mr. Burridge's
wheat field, I had the most flutterin' sensation erbout the
heart, es if somethin' wuz a-goin' ter happen. It wouldn't hev
surprised me a mite ter hev found the house burnt up, fur I
felt the same way twice previous in my life—once precedin' to
our Jersey cow bein' gored, an' agin before my partner wuz
taken with the dropsy that carrid him off. Howsomever, ther'
wuz the house safe an' sound; an' es we neared the gate the
wind bore the sound of laughin' to our ears. Very cur'ous, we
hurried on; but afore we got to the door out broke a boy,
all dressed up, clean as clean, an' a-shoutin' at the top of his
voice, "Howdy, Aunt Fonie! howdy, Uncle Jed! howdy, Eben!
Christmas-gift! Christmas-gift!"
Of course it wuz Elick. An' of course the slim, long-bearded
man we see through the winder a-talkin' so kindly ter
Janey wuz Elick's par, Lex Farley. But the wonder of all wuz
ter see Janey. There she wuz, bright an' smilin', an' a-sittin' up
in the finest kind o' wheeled cheer, es proud es if she wuz on
a throne. Well, we wuz all a-talkin' together fur quite a spell; an' Jed
he welcomed Lex real hearty, an' told him he must make himself
at home fur es long es he would like ter stay. An' you
never see a boy so changed as Elick Farley. From bein' a
wild, cantankerous limb that nobody hardly could abide, he
wuz a quiet, nice little chap, modest an' obligin' in his ways,
an' a-hangin' on every word that Janey spoke. "It wuz all I could do ter git him ter come," said his par,
when he got a chance fur a word with me. "You see he
thought Janey would be so set agen him that she would want
ter hev him arrested or somethin'; but I told him ter be a
man, an' face the music. When we got inside the hall door
here, an' see Janey lookin' so white an' quiet, as if she might
be dead, the child hung back as if he darsn't go a step farther.
But I pushed him inside the room, an' he begun ter cry.
Janey turned her head quick, an' seen him a-standin' ther'.
Somehow she didn't seem a bit surprised. 'Elick,' says she,
very gentle—'Elick, come here;' an' when he wuz in reach she
put her arms around him an' kissed him." "No!" I cried, "Janey Burridge didn't ever do that!" "Yes," he said, strokin' his beard, kind o' meditative, "she
kissed him. An' I suppose it's the first time anybody hes
kissed him sence his mother died. An' that she should do it
who lay there a wreck through his mischief! I tell you, Aunt
Fonie, she is a angel." It hed never occurred ter me ter look on Janey Burridge
in that light, as you ain't apt to think of a angel bein' strong
as a heifer, an' built for labor rusher than a-flyin' roun' an'
singin'; but I wuz glad ter hev Lex Farley appreshiate her,
even though he stretched the blanket a little in doin' so. After supper Mr. Burridge examined the cheer most admirin'.
It wuz made of cherry-wood, an' stuffed with hair, an'
set on springs, an' covered with rep, an' it wuz es fine es a
coffin. "It must 'a cost a sight o' money," says Jed. "A matter o' fifty dollars," says Lex Farley; "but you
know, Uncle Jed, I don't ever find it difficult to make money." "True, Lex," says the old man, very kind; "you are smart
enough ter do anything when you give the enemy the go-by." I wuz a little skeert at this plain-speakin', fearin' Lex might
take offence; but he spoke out quite manful: "Uncle Jed, I
haven't teched a drop of anything stronger than tea sence my
boy come in an' told me what hed happened to Janey. I made
up my mind that instant that ef the poor girl wuz gone, I
would pay all the funeral expenses, an' put her up a handsome
monument; an' ef she lived, that I would come to see her, an'
try to make such poor reparation es I could." "I'm sure," says Jed, "that Janey will set more value on
your lettin' the drink alone than on either the knittin'-machine
or the wheel-cheer. You see, it runs in our blood ter be
gret on temperance. Forty year ago, when the Burridges first
settled here, one of our first performances wuz ter git up a
temperance meetin' at Peppertown. The Yahoos came in an' tried
ter put a stop to it." "The Yahoos? An' who were they?" "That wuz the name we give the early settlers. They wuz
mostly riffraff o' the hardest sort, who hed drifted here from
Tennessee an' Kentucky. They wuz dead-set agin temperance.
They came a-whoopin' an' a-ridin' an' a-yellin' inter
Peppertown on the occasion of our meetin'; an' they hed
caught a wild wolf, which they turned loose among the folks,
an' nearly skeered the women ter death. "In them days even the preachers hated ter give up the'r
whiskey. Well, it wuz a heap purer article than you git now;
you could buy it by the barrel at a bit a gallon. Everybody
drunk it. It wuz handed around ter women an' children. At
the races once old Mrs. Wysnicker had a barrel that she peddled
out by the drink, an' they said she made enough ter buy a
handsome family Bible." "I wish they would give us a purer article of whiskey in
these days," said Mr. Farley. "Lex—Lex Farley, don't say that!" cried Janey, leanin'
for'ard, en' speakin' with such entreaty as I never heerd from
mortal lips. "You have gone without it," she says, "from sorrow an'
pity fur me, an' you can keep on in the good course fur love
—fur love of God. Listen to me, Lex. You wuz pleased with
my thanks when I told you how the knittin'-machine had
comforted me an' give me a new start in life; an' you smiled an'
almost cried too when I told you ter-day of the rest your
beautiful cheer give to my poor tired body. Think, think what it
will be when you can bring the gifts of a good an' manly life
ter the Lord, an' receive his thanks, an' know his joy over the
one sinner that repents! Oh, Lex, don't give me more than
you give to your Maker!" It came like a thunder-clap. I never would 'a believed
Janey Burridge could have spoke so beautiful. We wuz all
moved beyond speech. But, after a-little, Lex Farley says:
"I won't forgit your words, Janey. God bless you fur 'em!" Jed passed his hand across his eyes. "My friends," said
he, "it is Christmas night. Let us unite in prayer." An' kneelin' round Janey's cheer, we prayed in silence, an'
somethin' seemed ter whisper that a good new year wuz
a-dawnin' fur us all. Well, well, Lex Farley wuz in no hurry to git away. An'
one day he asked our Janey to marry him. "He says, Aunt Fonie," said Janey to me, "that I can help
him—I, a poor lame creature, that never expected to be of use
or pleasure ter any livin' soul." "He loves you, dear," I said, pattin' her dark head. "I can hardly believe it," she said, in a falterin' way. "He
says so many strange things, Aunt Fonie: that to be with me
helps an' heartens him; that he wants nothin' better than to
work for me all his days; that he wants me only to give him
my heart—not my labor an' service, but my heart." says I, quotin' out of a poetry book.
"Don't you think," says she, very timid, "that folks will say
he wanted me from pity, an' that I took him from pride?" "Fools may," says I, very decisive. The end of it all wuz that she put him off six months,
durin' which time he wuz as sober as a horse, an' then she
married him. They went ter St. Louis ter live, an' he got a
run o' fashionable customers, an' soon we heard of 'em as
surprisin' prosperous. A couple o' years later her par an' me
went ter visit 'em; fur I hed got rusher tired o' bein' a
boarder an' hed married Jed Burridge. That wuz a visit!
They hed three rooms leadin' out o' the photograph gallery -
an apartment, they called it—an' a servant to do the work, an'
a little maid to 'tend the door. Lex Farley was the proudest,
happiest man in the State. For Janey—bless her!—with a
long trailed gown on, her face pale and pretty, her hair curlin'
on her forehead, walked to meet us, with a snow-white baby
cuddlin' in her arms.
"NOW, 'Onymus Pop," said the mother of that gentle boy,
"you jes take keer o' dis chile while I'm gone ter de
hangin'. An' don't you leave dis house on no account, not if
de skies fall an' de earth opens ter swaller yer"
HIERONYMUS'S CHARGE. Hieronymus grunted gloomily. He thought it a burning
shame that he should not go to the hanging; but never had
his mother been willing that he should have the least pleasure
in life. It was either to tend the baby, or mix the cow's food,
or to card wool, or cut wood, or to pick a chicken, or wash up
the floor, or to draw water, or to sprinkle down the clothes -
always something. When everything else failed, she had a
way, that seemed to her son simply demoniac, of setting him
at the alphabet. To be sure, she did not know the letters
herself, but her teaching was none the less vigorous. "What's dat, 'Onymus?" she would say, pointing at random
with her snuff-brush to a letter.
"WHAT'S DAT?"II.
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"Last night, in my late rambles,
All in the isle of Skye,
I met a lovely creature,
All in the mountains high."
"Whether man or woman,
Whether ghoul or human,"
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Page 23III.
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'He wus too bright fur earth,
He wus taken from our hearth.
Of angels ther wus a dearth,
So they welcomed him with mirth.' "
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Page 38ON THE NINE-MILE.
I.—JANEY.
" 'Beneath this stone my wife cloth lie:
She is at rest, and so am I.' "
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"An Austrian army awfully arrayed!"
Page 41II.—EBEN BURRIDGE COMES HOME.
"Ole mis' she acted a foolish part —
She married a man dat broke her heart."
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Page 46III.—JANEY MAKES A CHOICE.
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"Janey's mad, an' I am glad,
An' I know what'll please her —
A bottle o' wine ter make her shine,
An' Charley Winn to squeeze her."
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Page 53IV.—JANEY'S COMFORTERS.
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Page 60V.—UNEXPECTED THINGS HAPPEN TO JANEY.
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"Compliments and Resects
of
Alexander Farley
to
Miss Janey Burrirdge."
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" 'Ther's nothin' half so sweet in life
As love's young dream,' "
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Page 68HIERONYMUS POP AND THE BABY.
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"Q"—with a sniff.
"Is you sho'?"—in a hollow voice.
Woe be unto young Pop if he faltered, and said it might be a Z. Mother Pop kept a rod ready, and used it as if she were born for nothing else. Naturally, he soon learned to stick
brazenly to his first guess. But, unfortunately, he could not remember from one day to another what he had said; and his mother learned, after a time, to distinguish the forms of the letters, and to know that a curly letter called S on Tuesday could not possibly. be a square-shaped E on Thursday. Her faith once shattered, 'Onymus had to suffer in the usual way.
The lad had been taught at spasmodic intervals by his sister Savannah—commonly called Sissy—who went to school, put on airs, and was always clean. Therefore Hieronymus hated her. Mother Pop herself was a little in awe of her accomplished daughter, and would ask her no questions, even when most in doubt as to which was which of the letters G and C.
"A pretty thing!" she would mutter to herself, "if I must be a-learnin' things from my own chile, dat wuz de mos' colicky baby I ever had, an' cos' me unheard-of miseries in de time of her teethin'."
It seemed to Hieronymus that the climax of his impositions had come when he was forced to stay at home and mind the baby, while his moth