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BY
AUTHOR OF "TALES OF A TIME AND PLACE"
AUTHOR'S EDITION
Copyright 1914 by
GRACE KING
THE GRAHAM PRESS
TO MY MOTHER
WHOSE BALCONY STORIES WERE THE DELIGHT
OF MY CHILDHOOD, THESE FEEBLE IMITATIONS
ARE GRATEFULLY AND LOVINGLY DEDICATED
And in that country the women love to sit and talk together of summer nights, on balconies, in their vague, loose, white garments, - men are not balcony sitters, - with their sleeping children within easy hearing, the stars breaking the cool darkness, or the moon making a show of light - oh, such a discreet show of light! - through the vines. And the children inside, waking to go from one sleep
into another, hear the low, soft mother-voices on the balcony, talking about this person and that, old times, old friends, old experiences; and it seems to them, hovering a moment in wakefulness, that there is no end of the world or time, or of the mother-knowledge; but, illimitable as it is, the mother-voices and the mother-love and protection fill it all, - with their mother's hand in theirs, children are not afraid even of God, - and they drift into slumber again, their little dreams taking all kinds of pretty reflections from the great unknown horizon outside, as their fragile soap-bubbles take on reflections from the sun and clouds.
Experiences, reminiscences, episodes, picked up as only women know how to pick them up from other women's lives, - or other women's destinies, as they prefer to call them, - and told as only women know how to relate them; what God has done or is doing with some other woman whom they have known - that is what interests women once embarked on their own lives, - the embarkation takes place
at marriage, or after the marriageable time, - or, rather, that is what interests the women who sit of summer nights on balconies. For in those long-moon countries life is open and accessible, and romances seem to be furnished real and gratis, in order to save, in a languor-breeding climate, the ennui of reading and writing books. Each woman has a different way of picking up and relating her stories, as each one selects different pieces, and has a personal way of playing them on the piano.
Each story is different, or appears so to her; each has some unique and peculiar pathos in it. And so she dramatizes and inflects it, trying to make the point visible to her apparent also to her hearers. Sometimes the pathos and interest to the hearers lie only in this - that the relater has observed it, and gathered it, and finds it worth telling. For do we not gather what we have not, and is not our own lacking our one motive? It may be so, for it often appears so.
And if a child inside be wakeful and precocious,
it is not dreams alone that take on reflections from the balcony outside: through the half-open shutters the still, quiet eyes look across the dim forms on the balcony to the star-spangled or the moon-brightened heavens beyond; while memory makes stores for the future, and germs are sown, out of which the slow, clambering vine of thought issues, one day, to decorate or hide, as it may be, the structures or ruins of life.
IT was a regular dramatic performance every first of the month in the little cottage of the old General and Madame B-.
It began with the waking up of the General by his wife, standing at the bedside with a cup of black coffee.
"Hé! Ah! Oh, Honorine! Yes; the first of the month, and affairs - affairs to be transacted."
On those mornings when affairs were to be transacted there was not much leisure for the household; and it was Honorine who constituted the household. Not the old dressing-gown and slippers, the old, old trousers, and the antediluvian neck-foulard of other days! Far from it. It was a case of warm water with even a fling of cologne in it), of the trimming of beard and mustache by Honorine, and the black broadcloth suit, and the brown satin stock, and that je ne sais quoi de dégagé
which no one could possess or assume like the old General. Whether he possessed or assumed it is an uncertainty which hung over the fine manners of all the gentlemen of his day, who were kept through their youth in Paris to cultivate bon ton and an education.
It was also something of a gala-day for Madame la Générale too, as it must be a gala-day for all old wives to see their husbands pranked in the manners and graces that had conquered their maidenhood, and exhaling once more that ambrosial fragrance which once so well incensed their compelling presence.
Ah, to the end a woman loves to celebrate her conquest! It is the last touch of misfortune with her to lose in the old, the ugly, and the commonplace her youthful lord and master. If one could look under the gray hairs and wrinkles with which time thatches old women, one would be surprised to see the flutterings, the quiverings, the thrills, the emotions, the coals of the heart-fires which death alone extinguishes, when he commands the tenant to vacate.
Honorine's hands chilled with the ice of sixteen as she approached scissors to the
white mustache and beard. When her finger-tips brushed those lips, still well formed and roseate, she felt it, strange to say, on her lips. When she asperged the warm water with cologne, - it was her secret delight and greatest effort of economy to buy this cologne, - she always had one little moment of what she called faintness - that faintness which had veiled her eyes, and chained her hands, and stilled her throbbing bosom, when as a bride she came from the church with him. It was then she noticed the faint fragrance of the cologne bath. Her lips would open as they did then, and she would stand for a moment and think thoughts to which, it must be confessed, she looked forward from month to month. What a man he had been! In truth he belonged to a period that would accept nothing less from Nature than physical beauty; and Nature is ever subservient to the period. If it is to-day all small men, and to-morrow gnomes and dwarfs, we may know that the period is demanding them from Nature.
When the General had completed - let it be called no less than the ceremony of - his toilet, he took his chocolate and his
pain de Paris . Honorine could not imagine him breakfasting on anything but pain de Paris. Then he sat himself in his large armchair before his escritoire, and began transacting his affairs with the usual -
"But where is that idiot, that dolt, that sluggard, that snail, with my mail?"
Honorine, busy in the breakfast-room:
"In a moment, husband. In a moment."
"But he should be here now. It is the first of the month, it is nine o'clock, I am ready; he should be here."
"It is not yet nine o'clock, husband."
"Not yet nine! Not yet nine! Am I not up? Am I not dressed? Have I not breakfasted before nine?"
"That is so, husband. That is so."
Honorine's voice, prompt in cheerful acquiescence, came from the next room, where she was washing his cup, saucer, and spoon.
"It is getting worse and worse every day. I tell you, Honorine, Pompey must be discharged. He is worthless. He is trifling. Discharge him! Discharge him! Do not have him about! Chase him out of the yard! Chase him as soon as he makes his appearance! Do you hear, Honorine?"
"You must have a little patience, husband."
It was perhaps the only reproach one could
make to Madame Honorine, that she never
learned by experience.
"Patience! Patience! Patience is the
invention of dullards and sluggards. In a
well-regulated world there should be no need
of such a thing as patience. Patience should
be punished as a crime, or at least as a
breach of the peace. Wherever patience
is found police investigation should be made
as for smallpox. Patience! Patience! I
never heard the word - I assure you, I
never heard the word in Paris. What do
you think would be said there to the
messenger who craved patience of you? Oh,
they know too well in Paris - a rataplan
from the walking-stick on his back, that
would be the answer; and a, 'My good
fellow, we are not hiring professors of
patience, but legs.' "
"But, husband, you must remember we do
not hire Pompey. He only does it to oblige
us, out of his kindness."
"Oblige us! Oblige me! Kindness! A
negro oblige me! Kind to me! That is it;
that is it. That is the way to talk under the
new régime. It is favor, and oblige, and
education, and monsieur, and madame, now. What
child's play to call this a country - a
government! I would not be surprised" - jumping
to his next position on this ever-recurring first
of the month theme - "I would not be surprised
if Pompey has failed to find the letter
in the box. How do I know that the mail
has not been tampered with? From day to
day I expect to hear it. What is to prevent?
Who is to interpose? The honesty of the officials?
Honesty of the officials - that is good!
What a farce - honesty of officials! That is
evidently what has happened. The thought
has not occurred to me in vain. Pompey has
gone. He has not found the letter, and -
well; that is the end."
But the General had still another theory to
account for the delay in the appearance of his
mail which he always posed abruptly after the
exhaustion of the arraignment of the post-office.
"And why not Journel?" Journel was their
landlord, a fellow of means, but no extraction,
and a favorite aversion of the old gentleman's.
"Journel himself? you think he is above it,
hé? You think Journel would not do such a
thing? Ha! your simplicity, Honorine - your
simplicity is incredible. It is miraculous. I
tell you, I have known the Journels, from
father to son, for - yes, for seventy-five years.
Was not his grandfather the overseer on my
father's plantation? I was not five years old
when I began to know the Journels. And
this fellow, I know him better than he knows
himself. I know him as well as God knows
him. I have made up my mind. I have made
it up carefully that the first time that letter
fails on the first of the month I shall have
Journel arrested as a thief. I shall land him
in the penitentiary. What! You think I shall
submit to have my mail tampered with by a
Journel? Their contents appropriated? What!
You think there was no coincidence in Journel's
offering me his post-office box just the
month - just the month, before those letters
began to arrive? You think he did not have
some inkling of them? Mark my words,
Honorine, he did - by some of his subterranean
methods. And all these five years he
has been arranging his plans - that is all.
He was arranging theft, which no doubt has
been consummated to-day. Oh, I have regretted
it - I assure you I have regretted it,
that I did not promptly reject his proposition,
that, in fact, I ever had anything to do with
the fellow."
It was almost invariably, so regularly do
events run in this world, - it was almost
invariably that the negro messenger made his
appearance at this point. For five years the
General had perhaps not been interrupted as
many times, either above or below the last
sentence. The mail, or rather the letter, was
opened, and the usual amount - three ten-dollar
bills - was carefully extracted and
counted. And as if he scented the bills, even
as the General said he did, within ten minutes
after their delivery, Journel made his
appearance to collect the rent.
It could only have been in Paris, among
that old retired nobility, who counted their
names back, as they expressed it, "au de ça
du déluge," that could have been acquired the
proper manner of treating a "roturier"
landlord: to measure him with the eyes from
head to foot; to hand the rent - the ten-dollar
bill - with the tips of the fingers; to
scorn a look at the humbly tendered receipt;
to say: "The cistern needs repairing, the
roof leaks; I must warn you that unless such
notifications meet with more prompt attention
than in the past, you must look for another
tenant," etc., in the monotonous tone of
supremacy, and in the French, not of Journel's
dictionary, nor of the dictionary of any such
as he, but in the French of Racine and Corneille;
in the French of the above suggested
circle, which inclosed the General's memory,
if it had not inclosed - as he never tired of
recounting - his star-like personality.
A sheet of paper always infolded the
bank-notes. It always bore, in fine but sexless
tracery, "From one who owes you
much."
There, that was it, that sentence, which,
like a locomotive, bore the General and his
wife far on these firsts of the month to two
opposite points of the horizon, in fact, one
from the other - "From one who owes you
much."
The old gentleman would toss the paper
aside with the bill receipt. In the man to
whom the bright New Orleans itself almost
owed its brightness, it was a paltry act to
search and pick for a debtor. Friends had
betrayed and deserted him; relatives had
forgotten him; merchants had failed with his
money; bank presidents had stooped to deceive
him; for he was an old man, and had
about run the gamut of human disappointments
- a gamut that had begun with a C
major of trust, hope, happiness, and money.
His political party had thrown him aside.
Neither for ambassador, plenipotentiary,
senator, congressman, not even for a clerkship,
could he be nominated by it. Certes!
"From one who owed him much." He had
fitted the cap to a new head, the first of
every month, for five years, and still the list
was not exhausted. Indeed, it would have
been hard for the General to look anywhere
and not see some one whose obligations to
him far exceeded this thirty dollars a month.
Could he avoid being happy with such eyes?
But poor Madame Honorine! She who
always gathered up the receipts, and the
"From one who owes you much"; who
could at an instant's warning produce the
particular ones for any month of the past
half-decade. She kept them filed, not only
in her armoire, but the scrawled papers
- skewered, as it were, somewhere else -
where women from time immemorial have
skewered such unsigned papers. She was
not original in her thoughts - no more, for
the matter of that, than the General was.
Tapped at any time on the first of the month,
when she would pause in her drudgery to
reimpale her heart by a sight of the written
characters on the scrap of paper, her
thoughts would have been found flowing
thus, "One can give everything, and yet
be sure of nothing."
When Madame Honorine said "everything,"
she did not, as women in such cases
often do, exaggerate. When she married
the General, she in reality gave the youth
of sixteen, the beauty (ah, do not trust the
denial of those wrinkles, the thin hair, the
faded eyes!) of an angel, the dot of an
heiress. Alas! It was too little at the
time. Had she in her own person united all
the youth, all the beauty, all the wealth,
sprinkled parsimoniously so far and wide
over all the women in this land, would she
at that time have done aught else with this
than immolate it on the burning pyre of the
General's affection? "And yet be sure of
nothing."
It is not necessary, perhaps, to explain that
last clause. It is very little consolation for
wives that their husbands have forgotten,
when some one else remembers. Some one
else! Ah! there could be so many some
one elses in the General's life, for in truth
he had been irresistible to excess. But this
was one particular some one else who had
been faithful for five years. Which one?
When Madame Honorine solves that enigma
she has made up her mind how to act.
As for Journel, it amused him more and
more. He would go away from the little
cottage rubbing his hands with pleasure (he
never saw Madame Honorine, by the way,
only the General). He would have given
far more than thirty dollars a month for this
drama; for he was not only rich, but a great
farceur.
THAT was what she was called by
everybody as soon as she was seen or
described. Her name, besides baptismal titles,
was Idalie Sainte Foy Mortemart des Islets.
When she came into society, in the brilliant
little world of New Orleans, it was the event
of the season, and after she came in, whatever
she did became also events. Whether
she went, or did not go; what she said, or
did not say; what she wore, and did not
wear - all these became important matters
of discussion, quoted as much or more than
what the president said, or the governor
thought. And in those days, the days of
'59, New Orleans was not, as it is now, a
one-heiress place, but it may be said that
one could find heiresses then as one finds
type-writing girls now.
Mademoiselle Idalie received her birth, and
what education she had, on her parents'
plantation, the famed old Reine Sainte Foy
place, and it is no secret that, like the
ancient kings of France, her birth exceeded her
education.
It was a plantation, the Reine Sainte Foy,
the richness and luxury of which are really
well described in those perfervid pictures of
tropical life, at one time the passion of
philanthropic imaginations, excited and exciting
over the horrors of slavery. Although these
pictures were then often accused of being
purposely exaggerated, they seem now to fall short
of, instead of surpassing, the truth. Stately
walls, acres of roses, miles of oranges, unmeasured
fields of cane, colossal sugar-house -
they were all there, and all the rest of it, with
the slaves, slaves, slaves everywhere, whole
villages of negro cabins. And there were
also, most noticeable to the natural, as well
as to the visionary, eye - there were the ease,
idleness, extravagance, self-indulgence, pomp,
pride, arrogance, in short the whole enumeration,
the moral sine
qua non, as some people
considered it, of the wealthy slaveholder of
aristocratic descent and tastes.
What Mademoiselle Idalie cared to learn
she studied, what she did not she ignored;
and she followed the same simple rule untrammeled
in her eating, drinking, dressing, and
comportment generally; and whatever discipline
may have been exercised on the place,
either in fact or fiction, most assuredly none
of it, even so much as in a threat, ever
attainted her sacred person. When she was
just turned sixteen, Mademoiselle Idalie made
up her mind to go into society. Whether she
was beautiful or not, it is hard to say. It is
almost impossible to appreciate properly the
beauty of the rich, the very rich. The unfettered
development, the limitless choice of accessories,
the confidence, the self-esteem, the
sureness of expression, the simplicity of purpose,
the ease of execution - all these produce
a certain effect of beauty behind which one
really cannot get to measure length of nose,
or brilliancy of eye. This much can be said:
there was nothing in her that positively
contradicted any assumption of beauty on her
part, or credit of it on the part of others. She
was very tall and very thin with small head,
long neck, black eyes, and abundant straight
black hair, - for which her hair-dresser
deserved more praise than she, - good teeth, of
course, and a mouth that, even in prayer,
talked nothing but commands; that is about
all she had en
fait d'ornements, as the
modistes say. It may be added that she walked
as if the Reine Sainte Foy plantation extended
over the whole earth, and the soil of it were
too vile for her tread. Of course she did not
buy her toilets in New Orleans. Everything
was ordered from Paris, and came as regularly
through the custom-house as the modes
and robes to the milliners. She was furnished
by a certain house there, just as one of a royal
family would be at the present day. As this
had lasted from her layette up to her sixteenth
year, it may be imagined what took place
when she determined to make her début.
Then it was literally, not metaphorically,
carte
blanche, at least so it got
to the ears of society.
She took a sheet of note-paper, wrote the date
at the top, added, "I make my début in
November," signed her name at the extreme end
of the sheet, addressed it to her dressmaker
in Paris, and sent it.
It was said that in her dresses the very
handsomest silks were used for linings, and
that real lace was used where others put
imitation, - around the bottoms of the skirts, for
instance, - and silk ribbons of the best quality
served the purposes of ordinary tapes;
and sometimes the buttons were of real gold
and silver, sometimes set with precious stones.
Not that she ordered these particulars, but
the dressmakers, when given
carte blanche by
those who do not condescend to details, so
soon exhaust the outside limits of garments
that perforce they take to plastering them
inside with gold, so to speak, and, when the
bill goes in, they depend upon the furnishings
to carry out a certain amount of the contract
in justifying the price. And it was said that
these costly dresses, after being worn once or
twice, were cast aside, thrown upon the floor,
given to the negroes - anything to get them
out of sight. Not an inch of the real lace,
not one of the jeweled buttons, not a scrap
of ribbon, was ripped off to save. And it was
said that if she wanted to romp with her dogs
in all her finery, she did it; she was known
to have ridden horseback, one moonlight
night, all around the plantation in a white
silk dinner-dress flounced with Alençon. And
at night, when she came from the balls, tired,
tired to death as only balls can render one,
she would throw herself down upon her bed
in her tulle skirts, - on top, or not, of the
exquisite flowers, she did not care, - and
make her maid undress her in that position;
often having her bodices cut off her, because
she was too tired to turn over and have them
unlaced.
That she was admired, raved about, loved
even, goes without saying. After the first
month she held the refusal of half the beaux
of New Orleans. Men did absurd, undignified,
preposterous things for her; and she?
Love? Marry? The idea never occurred to
her. She treated the most exquisite of her
pretenders no better than she treated her
Paris gowns, for the matter of that. She
could not even bring herself to listen to a
proposal patiently; whistling to her dogs, in
the middle of the most ardent protestations,
or jumping up and walking away with a shrug
of the shoulders, and a "Bah!"
Well! Every one knows what happened
after '59. There is no need to repeat. The
history of one is the history of all. But there
was this difference - for there is every shade
of difference in misfortune, as there is every
shade of resemblance in happiness. Mortemart
des Islets went off to fight. That was
natural; his family had been doing that, he
thought, or said, ever since Charlemagne.
Just as naturally he was killed in the first
engagement. They, his family, were always
among the first killed; so much so that it
began to be considered assassination to fight
a duel with any of them. All that was in the
ordinary course of events. One difference in
their misfortunes lay in that after the city
was captured, their plantation, so near,
convenient, and rich in all kinds of provisions,
was selected to receive a contingent of troops
- a colored company. If it had been a colored
company raised in Louisiana it might
have been different; and these negroes mixed
with the negroes in the neighborhood, - and
negroes are no better than whites, for the
proportion of good and bad among them, -
and the officers were always off duty when
they should have been on, and on when they
should have been off.
One night the dwelling caught fire. There
was an immediate rush to save the ladies
Oh, there was no hesitation about that! They
were seized in their beds, and carried out in
the very arms of their enemies; carried away
off to the sugar-house, and deposited there.
No danger of their doing anything but keep
very quiet and still in their
chemises de nuit,
and their one sheet apiece, which was about
all that was saved from the conflagration
that is, for them. But it must be remembered
that this is all hearsay. When one has not
been present, one knows nothing of one's
own knowledge; one can only repeat. It
has been repeated, however, that although
the house was burned to the ground, and
everything in it destroyed, wherever, for a
year afterward, a man of that company or
of that neighborhood was found, there could
have been found also, without search-warrant,
property that had belonged to the Des Islets.
That is the story; and it is believed or not,
exactly according to prejudice.
How the ladies ever got out of the sugar-house,
history does not relate; nor what they
did. It was not a time for sociability, either
personal or epistolary. At one offensive word
your letter, and you, very likely, examined;
and Ship Island for a hotel, with soldiers for
hostesses! Madame Des Islets died very soon
after the accident - of rage, they say; and
that was about all the public knew.
Indeed, at that time the society of New
Orleans had other things to think about than
the fate of the Des Islets. As for
la grande demoiselle,
she had prepared for her own oblivion
in the hearts of her female friends. And
the gentlemen, - her
preux chevaliers, - they
were burning with other passions than those
which had driven them to her knees,
encountering a little more serious response than
"bahs" and shrugs. And, after all, a woman
seems the quickest thing forgotten when once
the important affairs of life come to men for
consideration.
It might have been ten years according
to some calculations, or ten eternities, - the
heart and the almanac never agree about
time, - but one morning old Champigny
(they used to call him Champignon) was
walking along his levee front, calculating
how soon the water would come over, and
drown him out, as the Louisianians say. It
was before a seven-o'clock breakfast, cold,
wet, rainy, and discouraging. The road was
knee-deep in mud, and so broken up with
hauling, that it was like walking upon waves
to get over it. A shower poured down. Old
Champigny was hurrying in when he saw a
figure approaching. He had to stop to look
at it, for it was worth while. The head was
hidden by a green barege veil, which the
showers had plentifully besprinkled with
dew; a tall, thin figure. Figure! No; not
even could it be called a figure: straight up
and down, like a finger or a post; high-shouldered,
and a step - a step like a plowman's.
No umbrella; no - nothing more, in
fact. It does not sound so peculiar as when
first related - something must be forgotten.
The feet - oh, yes, the feet - they were like
waffle-irons, or frying-pans, or anything of
that shape.
Old Champigny did not care for women -
he never had; they simply did not exist for
him in the order of nature. He had been
married once, it is true, about a half century
before; but that was not reckoned against
the existence of his prejudice, because he
was
célibataire to his
finger-tips, as any one
could see a mile away. But that woman
intrigue'd him.
He had no servant to inquire from. He
performed all of his own domestic work in
the wretched little cabin that replaced his
old home. For Champigny also belonged to
the great majority of the
nouveaux pauvres.
He went out into the rice-field, where were
one or two hands that worked on shares with
him, and he asked them. They knew
immediately; there is nothing connected with the
parish that a field-hand does not know at
once. She was the teacher of the colored
public school some three or four miles away.
"Ah," thought Champigny, "some Northern
lady on a mission." He watched to see her
return in the evening, which she did, of
course; in a blinding rain. Imagine the
green barege veil then; for it remained always
down over her face.
Old Champigny could not get over it that
he had never seen her before. But he must
have seen her, and, with his abstraction and
old age, not have noticed her, for he found
out from the negroes that she had been
teaching four or five years there. And he
found out also - how, is not important - that
she was Idalie Sainte Foy Mortemart des
Islets. La
grande demoiselle! He had never
known her in the old days, owing to
his uncomplimentary attitude toward women,
but he knew of her, of course, and of her
family. It should have been said that his
plantation was about fifty miles higher up
the river, and on the opposite bank to Reine
Sainte Foy. It seemed terrible. The old
gentleman had had reverses of his own,
which would bear the telling, but nothing
was more shocking to him than this - that
Idalie Sainte Foy Mortemart des Islets
should be teaching a public colored school
for - it makes one blush to name it - seven
dollars and a half a month. For seven dollars
and a half a month to teach a set of -
well! He found out where she lived, a little
cabin - not so much worse than his own, for
that matter - in the corner of a field; no
companion, no servant, nothing but food and
shelter. Her clothes have been described.
Only the good God himself knows what
passed in Champigny's mind on the subject.
We know only the results. He went and
married la
grande demoiselle. How? Only the
good God knows that too. Every first
of the month, when he goes to the city to
buy provisions, he takes her with him - in
fact, he takes her everywhere with him.
Passengers on the railroad know them
well, and they always have a chance to see
her face. When she passes her old plantation
la grande
demoiselle always lifts her veil
for one instant - the inevitable green barege
veil. What a face! Thin, long, sallow, petrified!
And the neck! If she would only tie
something around the neck! And her plain,
coarse cottonade gown! The negro women
about her were better dressed than she.
Poor old Champignon! It was not an act
of charity to himself, no doubt cross and
disagreeable, besides being ugly. And as for
love, gratitude!
THIS is how she told about it, sitting in
her little room, - her bridal chamber, -
not larger, really not larger than sufficed for
the bed there, the armoire here, the bureau
opposite, and the washstand behind the door,
the corners all touching. But a nice set of
furniture, quite comme
il faut, - handsome, in fact, - as
a bride of good family should have.
And she was dressed very prettily, too, in her
long white
negligée with plenty of lace
and ruffles and blue ribbons, - such as only the
Creole girls can make, and brides, alas! wear,
- the pretty honeymoon costume that suggests,
that suggests - well! to proceed. "The
poor little cat!" as one could not help calling
her, so
mignonne, so blonde, with the pretty
black eyes, and the rosebud of a mouth, -
whenever she closed it, - a perfect kiss.
"But you know, Louise," she said, beginning
quite seriously at the beginning, "papa
would never have consented, never, never -
poor papa! Indeed, I should never have
asked him; it would only have been one
humiliation more for him, poor papa! So it
was well he was dead, if it was God's will for
it to be. Of course I had my dreams, like
everybody. I was so blonde, so blonde, and
so small; it seemed like a law I should marry
a brun,
a tall, handsome
brun, with a mustache and a fine
barytone voice. That was
how I always arranged it, and - you will
laugh - but a large, large house, and
numbers of servants, and a good cook, but a
superlatively good cuisine, and wine and all
that, and long, trailing silk dresses, and theater
every night, and voyages to Europe, and
- well, everything God had to give, in fact.
You know, I get that from papa, wanting
everything God has to give! Poor papa!
It seemed to me I was to meet him at any
time, my handsome
brun.
I used to look for him positively on my
way to school, and back
home again, and whenever I would think of
him I would try and walk so prettily, and
look so pretty! Mon
Dieu! I was not ten years old yet! And
afterward it was only for
that that I went into society. What should
girls go into society for otherwise but to meet
their brun
or their blond? Do you think it
is amusing, to economize and economize, and
sew and sew, just to go to a party to dance?
No! I assure you, I went into society only
for that; and I do not believe what girls say
- they go into society only for that too.
"You know at school how we used to
tirer la
bonne aventure.
1
Well, every time he was
not brun, riche,
avenant, Jules, or Raoul, or Guy,
I simply would not accept it, but would
go on drawing until I obtained what I wanted.
As I tell you, I thought it was my destiny.
And when I would try with a flower to see if
he loved me, - Il
m'aime, un peu, beaucoup,
passionément, pas du tout, -
if it were pas
du tout, I would always throw the flower away,
and begin tearing off the leaves from another
one immediately.
Passionément was what
I wanted, and I always got it in the end.
"But papa, poor papa, he never knew
anything of that, of course. He would get
1. La bonne aventure is
or was generally a very much battered
foolscap copy-book, which contained a list of all
possible elements
of future (school-girl) happiness. Each item
answered a question,
and had a number affixed to it. To draw one's
fortune consisted in
asking question after question, and guessing a
number, a companion
volunteering to read the answers. To avoid
cheating, the books
were revised from time to time, and the
numbers changed.
furious when any one would come to see me, and
sometimes, when he would take me in society,
if I danced with a 'nobody,' - as he called
no matter whom I danced with, - he would
come up and take me away with such an air
- such an air! It would seem that papa
thought himself better than everybody in the
world. But it went worse and worse with
papa, not only in the affairs of the world, but
in health. Always thinner and thinner, always
a cough; in fact, you know, I am a little
feeble-chested myself, from papa. And
Clementine! Clementine with her children -
just think, Louise, eight! I thank God my
mama had only me, if papa's second wife had
to have so many. And so naughty! I assure
you, they were all devils; and no correction,
no punishment, no education - but you know
Clementine! I tell you, sometimes on
account of those children I used to think
myself in 'ell [making the Creole's attempt and
failure to pronounce the h], and Clementine
had no pride about them. If they had shoes,
well; if they had not shoes, well also.
" 'But Clementine!' I would expostulate,
I would pray -
" 'But do not be a fool, Mimi,' she would
say. 'Am I God? Can I do miracles? Or
must I humiliate your papa?'
"That was true. Poor papa! It would
have humiliated papa. When he had money
he gave; only it was a pity he had no money.
As for what he observed, he thought it was
Clementine's negligence. For, it is true,
Clementine had no order, no industry, in the
best of fortune as in the worst. But to do
her justice, it was not her fault this time,
only she let him believe it, to save his pride;
and Clementine, you know, has a genius for
stories. I assure you, Louise, I was desperate.
I prayed to God to help me, to advise
me. I could not teach - I had no education;
I could not go into a shop - that would
be dishonoring papa - and
enfin, I was
too pretty. 'And proclaim to the world,'
Clementine
would cry, 'that your papa does not
make money for his family.' That was true.
The world is so malicious. You know, Louise,
sometimes it seems to me the world is
glad to hear that a man cannot support his
family; it compliments those who can. As
if papa had not intelligence, and honor, and
honesty! But they do not count now as in
old times, 'before the war.'
"And so, when I thought of that, I laughed
and talked and played the thoughtless like
Clementine, and made bills. We made bills
- we had to - for everything; we could do
that, you know, on our old name and family.
But it is too long! I am sure it is too long
and tiresome! What egotism on my part!
Come, we will take a glass of anisette, and
talk of something else - your trip, your
family. No? no? You are only asking me
out of politeness! You are so
aimable, so kind.
Well, if you are not
ennuyée - in fact, I want to
tell you. It was too long to
write, and I detest a pen. To me there is
no instrument of torture like a pen.
"Well, the lady next door, she was an
American, and common, very common,
according to papa. In comparison to us she
had no family whatever. Our little children
were forbidden even to associate with her
little children. I thought that was ridiculous -
not that I am a democrat, but I thought it
ridiculous. But the children cared; they were
so disobedient and they were always next
door, and they always had something nice to
eat over there. I sometimes thought
Clementine used to encourage their disobedience,
just for the good things they got to eat over
there. But papa was always making fun of
them; you know what a sharp tongue he had.
The gentleman was a clerk; and, according
to papa, the only true gentlemen in the world
had family and a profession. We did not dare
allow ourselves to. think it, but Clementine
and I knew that they, in fact, were in more
comfortable circumstances than we.
"The lady, who also had a great number
of children, sent one day, with all the discretion
and delicacy possible, and asked me if I
would be so kind as to - guess what, Louise!
But only guess! But you never could! Well,
to darn some of her children's stockings for
her. It was God who inspired her, I am
sure, on account of my praying so much to
him. You will be shocked, Louise, when I
tell you. It sounds like a sin, but I was not
in despair when papa died. It was a grief, -
yes, it seized the heart, but it was not despair.
Men ought not to be subjected to the humiliation
of life; they are not like women, you
know. We are made to stand things; they
have their pride, - their
orgueil, as
we say in French, - and that is the point of honor with
some men. And Clementine and I, we could
not have concealed it much longer. In fact,
the truth was crying out everywhere, in the
children, in the house, in our own persons,
in our faces. The darning did not provide a
superfluity, I guarantee you!
"Poor papa! He caught cold. He was
condemned from the first. And so all his
fine qualities died; for he had fine qualities -
they were too fine for this age, that was all.
Yes; it was a kindness of God to take him
before he found out. If it was to be, it was
better. Just so with Clementine as with me.
After the funeral - crack! everything went
to pieces. We were at the four corners for
the necessaries of life, and the bills came in -
my dear, the bills that came in! What memories!
what memories! Clementine and I exclaimed;
there were some bills that we had
completely forgotten about. The lady next
door sent her brother over when papa died.
He sat up all night, that night, and he
assisted us in all our arrangements. And he
came in afterward, every evening. If papa
had been there, there would have been a fine
scene over it; he would have had to take the
door, very likely. But now there was no one
to make objections. And so when, as I say,
we were at the four corners for the necessaries
of life, he asked Clementine's permission
to ask me to marry him.
"I give you my word, Louise, I had forgotten
there was such a thing as marriage in
the world for me! I had forgotten it as
completely as the chronology of the Merovingian
dynasty, alas! with all the other school things
forgotten. And I do not believe Clementine
remembered there was such a possibility in
the world for me. Mon
Dieu! when a girl is poor she may have
all the beauty in the
world - not that I had beauty, only a little
prettiness. But you should have seen
Clementine! She screamed for joy when she told
me. Oh, there was but one answer according
to her, and according to everybody she
could consult, in her haste. They all said it
was a dispensation of Providence in my favor.
He was young, he was strong; he did not
make a fortune, it was true, but he made a
good living. And what an assistance to have
a man in the family! - an assistance for
Clementine and the children. But the principal
thing, after all, was, he wanted to marry me.
Nobody had ever wanted that before, my
dear!
"Quick, quick, it was all arranged. All
my friends did something for me. One made
my peignoirs
for me, one this, one that -
ma
foi! I did not recognize myself.
One made
all the toilet of the bureau, another of the
bed, and we all sewed on the wedding-dress
together. And you should have seen Clementine,
going out in all her great mourning,
looking for a house, looking for a servant!
But the wedding was private on account of
poor papa. But you know, Loulou, I had
never time to think, except about Clementine
and the children, and when I thought of all
those poor little children, poor papa's children,
I said 'Quick, quick,' like the rest.
"It was the next day, the morning after
the wedding, I had time to think. I was
sitting here, just as you see me now, in my
pretty new
negligée. I had been looking
at all the pretty presents I have shown you, and
my trousseau, and my furniture, - it is not
bad, as you see, - my dress, my veil, my
ring, and - I do not know - I do not know
- but, all of a sudden, from everywhere
came the thought of my
brun, my handsome
brun with the
mustache, and the bonne
aventure, riche, avenant, the Jules,
Raoul, Guy,
and the flower leaves, and '
il m'aime, un peu,
beaucoup, pas du tout,' passionnément,
and the way I expected to meet him walking
to and from school, walking as if I were
dancing the steps, and oh, my plans, my
plans, my plans, - silk dresses, theater, voyages
to Europe, - and poor papa, so fine, so
tall, so aristocratic. I cannot tell you how
it all came; it seized my heart, and,
mon
Dieu! I cried out, and I wept, I wept, I
wept. How I wept! It pains me here now
to remember it. Hours, hours it lasted, until
I had no tears in my body, and I had to
weep without them, with sobs and moans,
But this, I have always observed, is the time
for reflection - after the tears are all out.
And I am sure God himself gave me my
thoughts.'Poor little Mimi!' I thought,
'fi donc!
You are going to make a fool of
yourself now when it is all over, because
why? It is God who manages the world,
and not you. You pray to God to help you
in your despair, and he has helped you. He
has sent you a good, kind husband who
adores you; who asks only to be a brother
to your sisters and brothers, and son to
Clementine; who has given you more than
you ever possessed in your life - but because
he did not come out of the
bonne aventure -
and who gets a husband out of the
bonne aventure? -
and would your
brun
have come to you in your misfortune?' I am sure God
inspired those thoughts in me.
"I tell you, I rose from that bed - naturally
I had thrown myself upon it. Quick I
washed my face, I brushed my hair, and, you
see these bows of ribbons, - look, here are
the marks of the tears, - I turned them.
Hé,
Loulou, it occurs to me, that if you examined
the blue bows on a bride's
negligée,
you might always find tears on the other side;
for do they not all have to marry whom God
sends? and am I the only one who had
dreams? It is the end of dreams, marriage;
and that is the good thing about it. God
lets us dream to keep us quiet, but he knows
when to wake us up, I tell you. The blue
bows knew! And now, you see, I prefer my
husband to my
brun; in fact, Loulou, I adore him,
and I am furiously jealous about him.
And he is so good to Clementine and the
poor little children; and see his photograph
- a blond, and not good-looking, and small!
"But poor papa! If he had been alive, I
am sure he never would have agreed with
God about my marriage."
EVERY heart has a miracle to pray for.
Every life holds that which only a miracle
can cure. To prove that there have never
been, that there can never be, miracles does
not alter the matter. So long as there is
something hoped for, - that does not come in
the legitimate channel of possible events, -
so long as something does come not to be
hoped or expected in the legitimate channel
of possible events, just so long will the
miracle be prayed for.
The rich and the prosperous, it would
seem, do not depend upon God so much, do
not need miracles, as the poor do. They do
not have to pray for the extra crust when
starvation hovers near; for the softening of
an obdurate landlord's heart; for strength in
temptation, light in darkness, salvation from
vice; for a friend in friendlessness; for that
miracle of miracles, an opportunity to
struggling ambition; for the ending of a dark
night, the breaking of day; and, oh! for God's
own miracle to the bedside-watchers - the
change for the better, when death is there
and the apothecary's skill too far, far away.
The poor, the miserable, the unhappy, they
can show their miracles by the score; that is
why God is called the poor man's friend. He
does not mind, so they say, going in the face
of logic and reason to relieve them; for often
the kind and charitable are sadly hampered
by the fetters of logic and reason, which
hold them, as it were, away from their own
benevolence.
But the rich have their miracles, no doubt,
even in that beautiful empyrean of moneyed
ease in which the poor place them. Their
money cannot buy all they enjoy, and God
knows how much of their sorrow it assuages.
As it is, one hears now and then of accidents
among them, conversions to better thoughts,
warding off of danger, rescue of life; and
heirs are sometimes born, and husbands
provided, and fortunes saved, in such surprising
ways, that even the rich, feeling their limitations
in spite of their money, must ascribe
it privately if not publicly to other potencies
than their own. These cathedral
tours de force,
however, do not, if the truth be told,
convince like the miracles of the obscure
little chapel.
There is always a more and a most obscure
little miracle chapel, and as faith seems ever
to lead unhesitatingly to the latter one, there
is ever rising out of humility and obscurity,
as in response to a demand, some new shrine,
to replace the wear and tear and loss of other
shrines by prosperity. For, alas! it is hard
even for a chapel to remain obscure and
humble in the face of prosperity and
popularity. And how to prevent such popularity
and prosperity? As soon as the noise of a
real miracle in it gets abroad, every one is
for hurrying thither at once with their needs
and their prayers, their candles and their
picayunes; and the little miracle chapel,
perhaps despite itself, becomes with mushroom
growth a church, and the church a cathedral,
from whose resplendent altars the cheap,
humble ex-voto tablets, the modest beginnings
of its ecclesiastical fortunes, are before
long banished to dimly lighted lateral shrines.
The miracle chapel in question lay at the
end of a very confusing but still intelligible
route. It is not in truth a chapel at all, but
a consecrated chamber in a very small, very
lowly cottage, which stands, or one might
appropriately, if not with absolute novelty,
say which kneels, in the center of a large
garden, a garden primeval in rusticity and
size, its limits being defined by no lesser
boundaries than the four intersecting streets
outside, and its culture showing only the
careless, shiftless culture of nature. The streets
outside were miracles themselves in that, with
their liquid contents, they were streets and not
bayous. However, they protected their island
chapel almost as well as a six-foot moat could
have done. There was a small paved space on
the sidewalk that served to the pedestrian as
an indication of the spot in the tall, long, broad
fence where a gate might be sought. It was
a small gate with a strong latch. It required
a strong hand to open it. At the sound of
the click it made, the little street ragamuffin,
who stood near, peeping through the fence,
looked up. He had worked quite a hole
between the boards with his fingers. Such an
anxious expression passed over his face that
even a casual passer-by could not help relieving
it by a question - any question:
"Is this the miracle chapel, little boy?"
"Yes, ma'am; yes." Then his expression
changed to one of eagerness, yet hardly less
anxious.
"Here. Take this -"
He did not hold out his hand, the coin had
to seek it. At its touch he refused to take it.
"I ain't begging."
"What are you looking at so through the
fence?" He was all sadness now.
"Just looking."
"Is there anything to see inside?"
He did not answer. The interrogation
was repeated.
"I can't see nothing. I'm blind," putting
his eyes again to the hole, first one, then the
other.
"Come, won't you tell me how this came
to be a miracle chapel?"
"Oh, ma'am," - he turned his face from
the fence, and clasped his hands in excitement,
- "it was a poor widow woman who
come here with her baby that was a-dying,
and she prayed to the Virgin Mary, and the
Virgin Mary made the baby live -"
He dropped his voice, the words falling
slower and slower. As he raised his face, one
could see then that he was blind, and
the accident that had happened to him, in
fording the street. What sightless elves! What
a wet, muddy little skeleton! Ten? No;
hardly ten years of age.
"The widow woman she picked up her
baby, and she run down the walk here, and
out into the street screaming - she was so
glad," - putting his eyes to the peep-hole
again, -"and the Virgin Mary come down
the walk after her, and come through the
gate, too; and that was all she seed - the
widow woman."
"Did you know the widow woman?"
He shook his head.
"How do you know it?"
"That was what they told me. And they
told me, the birds all begun to sing at once,
and the flowers all lighted up like the sun
was shining on them. They seed her. And
she come down the walk, and through the
gate," his voice lowering again to a whisper.
Ay, how the birds must have sung, and the
flowers shone, to the widowed mother as she
ran, nay, leaped, down that rose-hedged walk,
with her restored baby clasped to her bosom!
"They seed her,"
repeated the little fellow.
"And that is why you stand here - to see
her, too?"
His shoulder turned uneasily in the clasp
upon it.
"They seed her, and they ain't got no
eyes."
"Have you no mother?"
"Ain't never had no mother."A thought
struck him. "Would that count, ma'am?
Would that count? The little baby that was
dying - yes, ma'am, it had a mother; and
it's the mothers that come here constant
with their children; I sometimes hear 'em
dragging them in by the hand."
"How long have you been coming here?"
"Ever since the first time I heard it,
ma'am."
Street ragamuffins do not cry: it would be
better if they did so, when they are so young
and so blind; it would be easier for the
spectator, the auditor.
"They seed her - I might see her ef - ef
I could see her once - ef - ef I could see
anything once." His voice faltered; but he
stiffened it instantly. "She might see me.
She can't pass through this gate without
seeing me; and - and - ef she seed me - and
I didn't even see her - oh, I'm so tired of
being blind!"
"Did you never go inside to pray?"
How embarrassing such a question is, even
to a child!
"No, ma'am. Does that count, too? The
little baby didn't pray, the flowers didn't go
inside, nor the birds. And they say the
birds broke out singing all at once, and the
flowers shined, like the sun was shining on
'em - like the sun was shining in 'em," he
corrected himself. "The birds they can see,
and the flowers they can't see, and they seed
her." He shivered with the damp cold -
and perhaps too with hunger.
"Where do you live?"
He wouldn't answer.
"What do you live on?"
He shook his head.
"Come with me." He could not resist
the grasp on his shoulder, and the firm
directing of his bare, muddy feet through the
gate, up the walk, and into the chamber which
the Virgin found that day. He was turned to
the altar, and pressed down on his knees.
One should not look at the face of a blind
child praying to the Virgin for sight. Only
the Virgin herself should see that - and if
she once saw that little boy! There were
hearts, feet, hands, and eyes enough hanging
around to warrant hope at least, if not
faith; the effigies of the human aches and
pains that had here found relief, if not
surcease; feet and hands beholden to no physician
for their exorcism of rheumatism; eyes
and ears indebted to no oculist or aurist;
and the hearts, - they are always in
excess, - and, to the most skeptical, there is
something sweetly comforting in the sight
of so many cured hearts, with their thanks
cut deep, as they should be, in the very
marble thereof. Where the bed must have
stood was the altar, rising by easy gradations,
brave in ecclesiastical deckings, to the
plaster figure of her whom those yearning
hearts were seeing, whom those murmuring
lips were addressing. Hearts must be all
alike to her at such a distance, but the faces
to the looker-on were so different. The
eyes straining to look through all the
experiences and troubles that their life has held
to plead, as only elves can plead, to one who
can, if she will, perform their miracle for
them. And the mouths, - the sensitive
human mouths, - each one distorted by the
tragedy against which it was praying.
Their miracles! their miracles! what trifles
to divinity! Perhaps hardly more to
humanity! How far a simple looker-on could
supply them if so minded! Perhaps a liberal
exercise of love and charity by not more
than half a dozen well-to-do people could
answer every prayer in the room! But what
a miracle that would be, and how the Virgin's
heart would gladden thereat, and jubilate over
her restored heart-dying children, even as the
widowed mother did over her one dying babe!
And the little boy had stopped praying.
The futility of it - perhaps his own
impotence - had overcome him. He was crying,
and past the shame of showing it - crying
helplessly, hopelessly. Tears were rolling
out of his sightless eyes over his wordless
lips. He could not pray; he could only cry.
What better, after all, can any of us do? But
what a prayer to a woman - to even the
plaster figure of a woman! And the Virgin
did hear him; for she had him taken without
loss of a moment to the hospital, and how
easy she made it for the physician to remove
the disability! To her be the credit.
IT is really not much, the story; it is only
the arrangement of it, as we would say
of our dresses and our drawing-rooms.
It began with the dawn, of course; and the
skiff for our voyage, silvered with dew,
waiting in the mist for us, as if it had floated
down in a cloud from heaven to the bayou.
When repeated, this sounds like poor poetry;
but that is the way one thinks at daydawn,
when the dew is yet, as it were, upon our
brains, and our ideas are still half dreams,
and our waking hearts, alas! as innocent as
waking babies playing with their toes.
Our oars waked the waters of the bayou, as
motionless as a sleeping snake under its misty
covert - to continue the poetical language
or thought. The ripples ran frightened and
shivering into the rooty thicknesses of the
sedge-grown banks, startling the little birds
bathing there into darting to the nearest,
highest rush-top, where, without losing their
hold on their swaying, balancing perches,
they burst into all sorts of incoherent songs,
in their excitement to divert attention from
the near-hidden nests: bird mothers are so
much like women mothers!
It soon became day enough for the mist to
rise. The eyes that saw it ought to be able
to speak to tell fittingly about it.
Not all at once, nor all together, but a
thinning, a lifting, a breaking, a wearing
away; a little withdrawing here, a little
withdrawing there; and now a peep, and now
a peep; a bride lifting her veil to her
husband! Blue! White! Lilies! Blue lilies!
White lilies! Blue and white lilies! And
still blue and white lilies! And still! And
still! Wherever the veil lifted, still and always
the bride!
Not in clumps and bunches, not in spots
and patches, not in banks, meadows, acres,
but in - yes; for still it lifted beyond and
beyond and beyond; the eye could not touch
the limit of them, for the eye can touch only
the limit of vision; and the lilies filled the
whole sea-marsh, for that is the way spring
comes to the sea-marshes.
The sedge-roots might have been unsightly
along the water's edge, but there were
morning-glories, all colors, all shades - oh, such
morning-glories as we of the city never see!
Our city morning-glories must dream of
them, as we dream of angels. Only God
could be so lavish! Dropping from the tall
spear-heads to the water, into the water,
under the water. And then, the reflection
of them, in all their colors, blue, white, pink,
purple, red, rose, violet!
To think of an obscure little Acadian bayou
waking to flow the first thing in the morning
not only through banks of new-blown
morning-glories, but sown also to its depths with
such reflections as must make it think itself
a bayou in heaven, instead of in Paroisse St.
Martin. Perhaps that is the reason the poor
poets think themselves poets, on account of
the beautiful things that are only reflected
into their minds from what is above? Besides
the reflections, there were alligators in
the bayou, trying to slip away before we
could see them, and watching us with their
stupid, senile eyes, sometimes from under the
thickest' prettiest flowery bowers; and turtles
splashing into the water ahead of us; and
fish (silver-sided perch), looking like
reflections themselves, floating through the flower
reflections, nibbling their breakfast.
Our bayou had been running through
swamp only a little more solid than itself; in
fact, there was no solidity but what came from
the roots of grasses. Now, the banks began
to get firmer, from real soil in them. We
could see cattle in the distance, up to their
necks in the lilies, their heads and
sharp-pointed horns coming up and going down in
the blue and white. Nothing makes cattle's
heads appear handsomer, with the sun just
rising far, far away on the other side of them. The
sea-marsh cattle turned loose to pasture in the
lush spring beauty - turned loose in Elysium!
But the land was only partly land yet, and
the cattle still cattle to us. The rising sun
made revelations, as our bayou carried us
through a drove in their Elysium, or it might
have always been an Elysium to us. It was
not all pasturage, all enjoyment. The rising
and falling feeding head was entirely different,
as we could now see, from the rising and falling
agonized head of the bogged - the buried
alive. It is well that the lilies grow taller
and thicker over the more treacherous places;
but, misery! misery! not much of the process
was concealed from us, for the cattle have to
come to the bayou for water. Such a splendid
black head that had just yielded breath! The
wide-spreading ebony horns thrown back
among the morning-glories, the mouth open
from the last sigh, the glassy eyes staring
straight at the beautiful blue sky above,
where a ghostly moon still lingered, the velvet
neck ridged with veins and muscles, the body
already buried in black ooze. And such a
pretty red-and-white-spotted heifer, lying on
her side, opening and shutting her eyes,
breathing softly in meek resignation to her
horrible calamity! And, again, another one
was plunging and battling in the act of
realizing her doom: a fierce, furious, red cow,
glaring and bellowing at the soft, yielding
inexorable abysm under her, the bustards
settling afar off, and her own species browsing
securely just out of reach.
They understand that much, the sea-marsh
cattle, to keep out of reach of the dead
combatant. In the delirium of anguish, relief
cannot be distinguished from attack, and
rescue of the victim has been proved to mean
goring of the rescuer.
The bayou turned from it at last, from our
beautiful lily world about which our pleasant
thoughts had ceased to flow even in bad
poetry.
Our voyage was for information, which
might be obtained at a certain habitation; if
not there, at a second one, or surely at a third
and most distant settlement.
The bayou narrowed into a canal, then
widened into a bayou again, and the low, level
swamp and prairie advanced into woodland
and forest. Oak-trees began, our beautiful
oak-trees! Great branches bent down almost
to the water, - quite even with high water, -
covered with forests of oak, parasites, lichens,
and with vines that swept our heads as we
passed under them, drooping now and then
to trail in the water, a plaything for the fishes,
and a landing-place for amphibious insects.
The sun speckled the water with its flickering
patterns, showering us with light and heat.
We have no spring suns; our sun, even in
December, is a summer one.
And so, with all its grace of curve and bend,
and so - the description is longer than the
voyage - we come to our first stopping-place.
To the side, in front of the well-kept fertile
fields, like a proud little showman, stood the
little house. Its pointed shingle roof covered
it like the top of a chafing-dish, reaching
down to the windows, which peeped out from
under it like little eyes.
A woman came out of the door to meet us.
She had had time during our graceful winding
approach to prepare for us. What an
irrevocable vow to old maidenhood! At
least twenty-five, almost a possible
grandmother, according to Acadian computation,
and well in the grip of advancing years. She
was dressed in a stiff, dark red calico gown,
with a white apron. Her black hair, smooth
and glossy under a varnish of grease, was
plaited high in the back, and dropped regular
ringlets, six in all, over her forehead.
That was the epoch when her calamity came
to her, when the hair was worn in that
fashion. A woman seldom alters her coiffure
after a calamity of a certain nature happens
to her. The figure had taken a compact rigidity,
an unfaltering inflexibility, all the world
away from the elasticity of matronhood; and
her eyes were clear and fixed like her figure,
neither falling, nor rising, nor puzzling under
other eyes. Her lips, her hands, her slim
feet, were conspicuously single, too, in their
intent, neither reaching, nor feeling, nor
running for those other lips, hands, and feet
which should have doubled their single life.
That was Adorine Mérionaux, otherwise
the most industrious Acadian and the best
cottonade-weaver in the parish. It had been
short, her story. A woman's love is still with
those people her story. She was thirteen
when she met him. That is the age for an
Acadian girl to meet him, because, you know,
the large families - the thirteen, fourteen,
fifteen, twenty children - take up the years; and
when one wishes to know one's great-great-grandchildren
(which is the dream of the Acadian
girl) one must not delay one's story.
She had one month to love him in, and in
one week they were to have the wedding.
The Acadians believe that marriage must
come au
point, as cooks say their sauces
must be served. Standing on the bayou-bank
in front of the Mérionaux, one could say
"Good day" with the eyes to the
Zévérin
Theriots - that was the name of the parents
of the young bridegroom. Looking under the
branches of the oaks, one could see across
the prairie, - prairie and sea-marsh it was, -
and clearly distinguish another little
red-washed house like the Mérionaux, with a
painted roof hanging over the windows, and
a staircase going up outside to the garret.
With the sun shining in the proper direction,
one might distinguish more, and with love
shining like the sun in the eyes, one might
see, one might see - a heart full.
It was only the eyes, however, which could
make such a quick voyage to the Zévérin
Theriots; a skiff had a long day's journey
to reach them. The bayou sauntered along
over the country like a negro on a Sunday's
pleasuring, trusting to God for time, and to
the devil for means.
Oh, nothing can travel quickly over a
bayou! Ask any one who has waited on a
bayou-bank for a physician or a life-and-death
message. Thought refuses to travel
and turn and double over it; thought, like the
eye, takes the shortest cut - straight over
the sea-marsh; and in the spring of the year,
when the lilies are in bloom, thought could
not take a more heavenly way, even from
beloved to beloved.
It was the week before marriage, that week
when, more than one's whole life afterward,
one's heart feels most longing - most
- well, in fact, it was the week before
marriage. From Sunday to Sunday, that was
all the time to be passed. Adorine - women
live through this week by the grace of God,
or perhaps they would be as unreasonable as
the men - Adorine could look across the
prairie to the little red roof during the day,
and could think across it during the night,
and get up before day to look across again -
longing, longing all the time. Of course
one must supply all this from one's own
imagination or experience.
But Adorine could sing, and she sang.
One might hear, in a favorable wind, a gunshot,
or the barking of a dog from one place
to the other, so that singing, as to effect, was
nothing more than the voicing of her looking
and thinking and longing.
When one loves, it is as if everything was
known of and seen by the other; not only all
that passes in the head and heart, which
would in all conscience be more than enough
to occupy the other, but the talking, the
dressing, the conduct. It was then that the
back hair was braided and the front curled
more and more beautifully every day, and
that the calico dresses became stiffer and
stiffer and the white crochet lace collar
broader and lower in the neck. At thirteen
she was beautiful enough to startle one, they
say, but that was nothing; she spent time and
care upon these things, as if, like other
women, her fate seriously depended upon
them. There is no self-abnegation like that
of a woman in love.
It was her singing, however, which most
showed that other existence in her existence.
When she sang at her spinning-wheel or her
loom, or knelt battling clothes on the bank
of the bayou, her lips would kiss out the
words, and the tune would rise and fall and
tremble, as if Zepherin were just across there,
anywhere; in fact, as if every blue and white
lily might hide an ear of him.
It was the time of the new moon, fortunately,
when all sit up late in the country.
The family would stop in their talking about
the wedding to listen to her. She did not
know it herself, but it - the singing - was
getting louder and clearer, and, poor little
thing, it told everything. And after the
family went to bed they could still hear her,
sitting on the bank of the bayou, or up in her
window, singing and looking at the moon
traveling across the lily prairie - for all its
beauty and brightness no more beautiful and
bright than a heart in love.
It was just past the middle of the week, a
Thursday night. The moon was so bright the
colors of the lilies could be seen, and the singing,
so sweet, so far-reaching - it was the
essence of the longing of love. Then it was
that the miracle happened to her. Miracles
are always happening to the Acadians. She
could not sleep, she could not stay in bed.
Her heart drove her to the window, and kept
her there, and - among the civilized it could
not take place, but here she could sing as she
pleased in the middle of the night; it was
nobody's affair, nobody's disturbance. "Saint
Ann! Saint Joseph! Saint Mary!" She heard
her song answered! She held her heart, she
bent forward, she sang again. Oh, the air
was full of music! It was all music! She fell
on her knees; she listened, looking at the
moon; and, with her face in her hands, looking
at Zepherin. It was God's choir of angels,
she thought, and one with a voice like Zepherin!
Whenever it died away she would sing
again, and again, and again -
But the sun came, and the sun is not created,
like the moon, for lovers, and whatever
happened in the night, there was work to be
done in the day. Adorine worked like one in
a trance, her face as radiant as the upturned
face of a saint. They did not know what it
was, or rather they thought it was love. Love
is so different out there, they make all kinds
of allowances for it. But, in truth, Adorine
was still hearing her celestial voices or voice.
If the cackling of the chickens, the whir of the
spinning-wheel, or the "bum bum" of the
loom effaced it a moment, she had only to go
to some still place, round her hand over her
ear, and give the line of a song, and - it was
Zepherin - Zepherin she heard.
She walked in a dream until night. When
the moon came up she was at the window,
and still it continued, so faint, so sweet, that
answer to her song. Echo never did anything
more exquisite, but she knew nothing of such
a heathen as Echo. Human nature became
exhausted. She fell asleep where she was, in
the window, and dreamed as only a bride can
dream of her groom. When she awoke,
"Adorine! Adorine!" the beautiful angel
voices called to her; "Zepherin! Zepherin!"
she answered, as if she, too, were an angel,
signaling another angel in heaven. It was
too much. She wept, and that broke the
charm. She could hear nothing more after
that. All that day was despondency, dejection,
tear-bedewed eyes, and tremulous lips,
the commonplace reaction, as all know, of
love exaltation. Adorine's family, Acadian
peasants though they were, knew as much
about it as any one else, and all that any one
knows about it is that marriage is the cure-all,
and the only cure-all, for love.
And Zepherin? A man could better describe
his side of that week; for it, too, has
mostly to be described from imagination or
experience. What is inferred is that what
Adorine longed and thought and looked in
silence and resignation, according to woman's
way, he suffered equally, but in a man's way,
which is not one of silence or resignation, - at
least when one is a man of eighteen, - the last
interview, the near wedding, her- beauty, his
love, her house in sight, the full moon, the
long, wakeful nights.
He took his pirogue; but the bayou played
with his impatience, maddened his passion,
bringing him so near, to meander with him
again so far away. There was only a short
prairie between him and -, a prairie thick
with lily-roots - one could almost walk over
their heads, so close, and gleaming in the
moonlight. But this is all only inference.
The pirogue was found tethered to the
paddle stuck upright in the soft bank, and -
Adorine's parents related the rest. Nothing
else was found until the summer drought had
bared the swamp.
There was a little girl in the house when
we arrived - all else were in the field - a
stupid, solemn, pretty child, the child of a
brother. How she kept away from Adorine,
and how much that testified!
It would have been too painful. The little
arms around her neck, the head nestling to
her bosom, sleepily pressing against it. And
the little one might ask to be sung to sleep.
Sung to sleep!
The little bed-chamber, with its high
mattressed bed, covered with the Acadian
homespun quilt, trimmed with netting fringe, its
bit of mirror over the bureau, the bottle of
perfumed grease to keep the locks black and
glossy, the prayer-beads and blessed palms
hanging on the wall, the low, black polished
spinning-wheel, the loom, - the
métier d'Adorine
famed throughout the parish, - the ever
goodly store of cotton and yarn hanks swinging
from the ceiling, and the little square,
open window which looked under the mossy
oak-branches to look over the prairie; and
once again all blue and white lilies - they
were all there, as Adorine was there; but
there was more - not there.
OLD Jeanne Marie leaned her hand against
the house, and the tears rolled down
her cheeks. She had not wept since she
buried her last child. With her it was one
trouble, one weeping, no more; and her
wrinkled, hard, polished skin so far had
known only the tears that come after death.
The trouble in her heart now was almost
exactly like the trouble caused by death;
although she knew it was not so bad as death,
yet, when she thought of this to console herself,
the tears rolled all the faster. She took
the end of the red cotton kerchief tied over
her head, and wiped them away; for the
furrows in her face did not merely run up and
down - they ran in all directions, and carried
her tears all over her face at once. She could
understand death, but she could not understand
this.
It came about in this way: Anne Marie and
she lived in the little red-washed cabin against
which she leaned; had lived there alone with
each other for fifty years, ever since Jeanne
Marie's husband had died, and the three children
after him, in the fever epidemic.
The little two-roomed cabin, the stable
where there used to be a cow, the patch of
ground planted with onions, had all been
bought and paid for by the husband; for he
was a thrifty, hard-working Gascon, and had
he lived there would not have been one
better off, or with a larger family, either in that
quarter or in any of the red-washed suburbs
with which Gascony has surrounded New
Orleans. His women, however, - the wife
and sister-in-law, - had done their share in
the work: a man's share apiece, for with the
Gascon women there is no discrimination of
sex when it comes to work.
And they worked on just the same after he
died, tending the cow, digging, hoeing, planting,
watering. The day following the funeral,
by daylight Jeanne Marie was shouldering
around the yoke of milk-cans to his patrons,
while Anne Marie carried the vegetables to
market; and so on for fifty years.
They were old women now, - seventy-five
years old, - and, as they expressed it, they
had always been twins. In twins there is
always one lucky and one unlucky one: Jeanne
Marie was the lucky one, Anne Marie the
unlucky one. So much so, that it was even
she who had to catch the rheumatism, and to
lie now bedridden, months at a time, while
Jeanne Marie was as active in her sabots as
she had ever been.
In spite of the age of both, and the infirmity
of one, every Saturday night there was
some little thing to put under the brick in the
hearth, for taxes and license, and the
never-to-be-forgotten funeral provision. In the
husband's time gold pieces used to go in, but they
had all gone to pay for the four funerals and
the quadrupled doctor's bill. The women
laid in silver pieces; the coins, however, grew
smaller and smaller, and represented more
and more not so much the gain from onions
as the saving from food.
It had been explained to them how they
might, all at once, make a year's gain in the
lottery; and it had become their custom
always, at the end of every month, to put
aside one silver coin apiece, to buy a lottery
ticket with - one ticket each, not for the
great, but for the twenty-five-cent, prizes.
Anne Marie would buy hers round about the
market; Jeanne Marie would stop anywhere
along her milk course and buy hers, and they
would go together in the afternoon to stand
with the little crowd watching the placard
upon which the winning numbers were to be
written. And when they were written, it was
curious, Jeanne Marie's numbers would come
out twice as often as Anne Marie's. Not that
she ever won anything, for she was not lucky
enough to have them come out in the order to
win; they only came out here and there,
singly: but it was sufficient to make old
Anne Marie cross and ugly for a day or two,
and injure the sale of the onion-basket. When
she became bedridden, Jeanne Marie bought
the ticket for both, on the numbers, however,
that Anne Marie gave her; and Anne Marie
had to lie in bed and wait, while Jeanne Marie
went out to watch the placard.
One evening, watching it, Jeanne Marie
saw the ticket-agent write out the numbers as
they came on her ticket, in such a way that
they drew a prize - forty dollars.
When the old woman saw it she felt such
a happiness; just as she used to feel in the old
times right after the birth of a baby. She
thought of that instantly. Without saying a
word to any one, she clattered over the
banquette
as fast as she could in her sabots, to
tell the good news to Anne Marie. But she
did not go so fast as not to have time to
dispose of her forty dollars over and over again.
Forty dollars! That was a great deal of
money. She had often in her mind, when
she was expecting a prize, spent twenty
dollars; for she had never thought it could
be more than that. But forty dollars! A new
gown apiece, and black silk kerchiefs to tie
over their heads instead of red cotton, and
the little cabin new red-washed, and soup in
the pot, and a garlic sausage, and a bottle of
good, costly liniment for Anne Marie's legs;
and still a pile of gold to go under the
hearth-brick - a pile of gold that would have made
the eyes of the defunct husband glisten.
She pushed open the picket-gate, and came
into the room where her sister lay in bed.
"Eh, Anne Marie, my girl," she called in
her thick, pebbly voice, apparently made
purposely to suit her rough Gascon accent; "this
time we have caught it!"
"Whose ticket?" asked Anne Marie, instantly.
In a flash all Anne Marie's ill luck ran
through Jeanne Marie's mind;- how her
promised husband had proved unfaithful, and
Jeanne Marie's faithful; and how, ever since,
even to the coming out of her lottery numbers,
even to the selling of vegetables, even
to the catching of the rheumatism, she had
been the loser. But above all, as she looked
at Anne Marie in the bed, all the misery came
over Jeanne Marie of her sister's not being
able, in all her poor old seventy-five years
of life, to remember the pressure of the
arms of a husband about her waist, nor the
mouth of a child on her breast.
As soon as Anne Marie had asked her question,
Jeanne Marie answered it.
"But your ticket,
Coton-Maï!"
1
"Where? Give it
here! Give it here!"
The old woman, who had not been able to
move her back for weeks, sat bolt upright in
bed, and stretched out her great bony fingers,
with the long nails as hard and black as
rake-prongs from groveling in the earth.
Jeanne Marie poured the money out of her
cotton handkerchief into them.
Anne Marie counted it, looked at it;
looked at it, counted it; and if she had not
been so old, so infirm, so toothless, the smile
that passed over her face would have made it
beautiful.
Jeanne Marie had to leave her to draw
water from the well to water the plants, and
to get her vegetables ready for next morning.
She felt even happier now than if she had just
had a child, happier even than if her husband
had just returned to her.
"Ill luck!
Coton-Maï! Ill luck! There's
a way to turn ill luck!" And her smile also
should have beautified her face, wrinkled and
ugly though it was.
She did not think any more of the spending
of the money, only of the pleasure Anne
Marie would take in spending it.
The water was low in the well, and there
had been a long drought. There are not
many old women of seventy-five who could
have watered so much ground as abundantly
as she did; but whenever she thought of
the forty dollars and Anne Marie's smile
she would give the thirsting plant an extra
bucketful.
The twilight was gaining. She paused.
"
Coton-Maï!" she
exclaimed aloud. "But
I must see the old woman smile again over
her good luck."
Although it was "my girl" face to face, it
was always "the old woman" behind each
other's back.
There was a knot-hole in the plank walls
of the house. In spite of Anne Marie's
rheumatism they would never stop it up, needing
it, they said, for light and air. Jeanne Marie
slipped her feet out of her sabots and crept
easily toward it, smiling, and saying
"
Coton-Maï!" to
herself all the way. She put her
eye to the hole. Anne Marie was not in the
bed, she who had not left her bed for two
months! Jeanne Marie looked through the
dim light of the room until she found her.
Anne Marie, in her short petticoat and
nightsack, with bare legs and feet, was on
her knees in the corner, pulling up a plank,
hiding - peasants know hiding when they see
it - hiding her money away - away - away
from whom? - muttering to herself and shaking
her old grayhaired head. Hiding her
money away from Jeanne Marie!
And this was why Jeanne Marie leaned
her head against the side of the house and
wept. It seemed to her that she had never
known her twin sister at all.
YOU must picture to
yourself the quiet,
dim-lighted room of a convalescent; outside,
the dreary, bleak days of winter in a
sparsely settled, distant country parish; inside,
a slow, smoldering log-fire, a curtained
bed, the infant sleeping well enough, the
mother wakeful, restless, thought-driven, as
a mother must be, unfortunately, nowadays,
particularly in that parish, where cotton
worms and overflows have acquired such a
monopoly of one's future.
God is always pretty near a sick woman's
couch; but nearer even than God seems the
sick-nurse - at least in that part of the country,
under those circumstances. It is so good
to look through the dimness and uncertainty,
moral and physical, and to meet those little
black, steadfast, all-seeing eyes; to feel those
smooth, soft, all-soothing hands; to hear,
across one's sleep, that three-footed step -
the flat-soled left foot, the tiptoe right, and the
padded end of the broomstick; and when one
is so wakeful and restless and thought-driven,
to have another's story given one. God, depend
upon it, grows stories and lives as he
does herbs, each with a mission of balm to
some woe.
She said she had, and in truth she had,
no other name than "little Mammy"; and
that was the name of her nature. Pure
African, but bronze rather than pure black,
and full-sized only in width, her growth having
been hampered as to height by an injury to
her hip, which had lamed her, pulling her
figure awry, and burdening her with a protuberance
of the joint. Her mother caused it by
dropping her when a baby, and concealing it,
for fear of punishment, until the dislocation
became irremediable. All the animosity of
which little Mammy was capable centered
upon this unknown but never-to-be-forgotten
mother of hers; out of this hatred had grown
her love - that is, her destiny, a woman's
love being her destiny. Little Mammy's love
was for children.
The birth and infancy (the one as accidental
as the other, one would infer) took place in -
it sounds like the "Arabian Nights" now! -
took place in the great room, caravansary,
stable, behind a negro-trader's auction-mart,
where human beings underwent literally the
daily buying and selling of which the world
now complains in a figure of speech - a great,
square, dusty chamber where, sitting cross-legged,
leaning against the wall, or lying on
foul blanket pallets on the floor, the bargains
of to-day made their brief sojourn, awaiting
transformation into the profits of the morrow.
The place can be pointed out now, is often
pointed out; but no emotion arises at sight of
it. It is so plain, so matter-of-fact an edifice
that emotion only comes afterward in thinking
about it, and then in the reflection that such
an edifice could be, then as now, plain and
matter-of-fact.
For the slave-trader there was no capital
so valuable as the physical soundness of his
stock; the moral was easily enough forged
or counterfeited. Little Mammy's good-for-nothing
mother was sold as readily as a vote,
in the parlance of to-day; but no one would
pay for a crippled baby. The mother herself
would not have taken her as a gift, had it
been in the nature of a negro-trader to give
away anything. Some doctoring was done, -
so little Mammy heard traditionally, - some
effort made to get her marketable. There
were attempts to pair her off as a twin sister
of various correspondencies in age, site, and
color, and to palm her off, as a substitute, at
migratory, bereaved, overfull breasts. Nothing
equaled a negro-trader's will and power
for fraud, except the hereditary distrust and
watchfulness which it bred and maintained.
And so, in the even balance between the two
categories, the little cripple remained a fixture
in the stream of life that passed through that
it kill the little animal before the emancipation
of weaning arrived.
How much circumstances evoked, how
much instinct responded, belongs to the
secrets which nature seems to intend keeping.
As a baby she had eyes, attention, solely for
other babies. One cannot say while she was
still crawling, for she could only crawl years
after she should have been walking, but,
before even precocious walking-time, tradition
or the old gray-haired negro janitor relates,
she would creep from baby to baby to play
with it, put it to sleep, pat it, rub its stomach
(a negro baby, you know, is all stomach, and
generally aching stomach at that). And before
she had a lap, she managed to force one
for some ailing nursling. It was then that
they began to call her "little Mammy." In
the transitory population of the "pen" no one
stayed long enough to give her another name;
and no one ever stayed short enough to give
her another one.
Her first recollection of herself was that
she could not walk - she was past crawling;
she cradled herself along, as she called
sitting down flat, and working herself about
with her hands and her one strong leg.
Babbling babies walked all around her, -
many walking before they babbled, - and
still she did not walk, imitate them as she
might and did. She would sit and "study"
about it, make another trial, fall; sit and
study some more, make another trial, fall
again. Negroes, who believe that they must
give a reason for everything even if they
have to invent one, were convinced that it
was all this studying upon her lameness that
gave her such a large head.
And now she began secretly turning up
the clothes of every negro child that came
into that pen, and examining its legs, and
still more secretly examining her own,
stretched out before her on the ground.
How long it took she does not remember;
in fact, she could not have known, for she
had no way of measuring time except by her
thoughts and feelings. But in her own way
and time the due process of deliberation was
fulfilled, and the quotient made clear that,
bowed or not, all children's legs were of
equal length except her own, and all were
alike, not one full, strong, hard, the other
soft, flabby, wrinkled, growing out of a knot
at the hip. A whole psychological period
apparently lay between that conclusion and
- a broom-handle walking-stick; but the
broomstick came, as it was bound to come, -
thank heaven! - from that premise, and what
with stretching one limb to malice it longer,
and doubling up the other to make it shorter,
she invented that form of locomotion which
is still carrying her through life, and with
no more exaggerated leg-crookedness than
many careless negroes born with straight
limbs display. This must have been when
she was about eight or nine. Hobbling on
a broomstick, with, no doubt, the same weird,
wizened face as now, an innate sense of the
fitness of things must have suggested the
kerchief tied around her big head, and the
burlaps rag of an apron in front of her
linsey-woolsey rag of a gown, and the bit of broken
pipe-stem in the corner of her mouth, where
the pipe should have been, and where it was
in after years. That is the way she recollected
herself, and that is the way one recalls
her now; with a few modifications.
The others came and went, but she was
always there. It wasn't long before she
became "little Mammy" to the grown folks
too; and the newest inmates soon learned to
cry: "Where's little Mammy?" "Oh, little
Mammy! little Mammy! Such a misery in
my head [or my back, or my stomach]!
Can't you help me, little Mammy?" It was
curious what a quick eye she had for symptoms
and ailments, and what a quick ear for
suffering, and how apt she was at picking up,
remembering, and inventing remedies. It
never occurred to her not to crouch at the
head or the foot of a sick pallet, day and
night through. As for the nights, she said
she dared not close her eyes of nights. The
room they were in was so vast, and sometimes
the negroes lay so thick on the floor,
rolled in their blankets (you know, even in
the summer they sleep under blankets), all
snoring so loudly, she would never have
heard a groan or a whimper any more than
they did, if she had slept, too. And negro
mothers are so careless and such heavy
sleepers. All night she would creep at
regular intervals to the different pallets, and
draw the little babies from under, or away
from, the heavy, inert impending mother
forms. There is no telling how many she thus
saved from being overlaid and smothered, or,
what was worse, maimed and crippled.
Whenever a physician came in, as he was
sometimes called, to look at a valuable investment
or to furbish up some piece of damaged
goods, she always managed to get near to
hear the directions; and she generally was
the one to apply them also, for negroes
always would steal medicines most scurvily
one from the other. And when death at
times would slip into the pen, despite the
trader's utmost alertness and precautions, - as
death often "had to do," little Mammy said,
- when the time of some of them came to
die, and when the rest of the negroes, with
African greed of eye for the horrible, would
press around the lowly couch where the
agonizing form of a slave lay writhing out
of life, she would always to the last give
medicines, and wipe the cold forehead, and
soothe the clutching, fearsome hands, hoping
to the end, and trying to inspire the
hope that his or her "time" had not come
yet; for, as she said, "Our time does not come
just as often as it does come."
And in those sad last offices, which somehow
have always been under reproach as a
kind of shame, no matter how young she
was, she was always too old to have the
childish avoidance of them. On the contrary,
to her a corpse was only a kind of
baby, and she always strove, she said, to
make one, like the other, easy and comfortable.
And in other emergencies she divined the
mysteries of the flesh, as other precocities
divine the mysteries of painting and music,
and so become child wonders.
Others came and went. She alone remained
there. Babies of her babyhood -
the toddlers she, a toddler, had nursed -
were having babies themselves now; the
middle-aged had had time to grow old and die.
Every week new families were coming into
the great back chamber; every week they
passed out: babies, boys, girls, buxom
wenches, stalwart youths, and the middle-aged
- the grave, serious ones whom misfortune
had driven from their old masters, and the
ill-reputed ones, the trickish, thievish, lazy,
whom the cunning of the negro-trader alone
could keep in circulation. All were marketable,
all were bought and sold, all passed in
one door and out the other - all except her,
little Mammy. As with her lameness, it took
time for her to recognize, to understand, the
fact. She could study over her lameness, she
could in the dull course of time think out the
broomstick way of palliation. It would have
been almost better, under the circumstances,
for God to have kept the truth from her; only
- God keeps so little of the truth from us
women. It is his system.
Poor little thing! It was not now that her
master could not sell her,
but he would not! Out of
her own intelligence she had forged
her chains; the lameness was a hobble merely
in comparison. She had become too valuable
to the negro-trader by her services among his
crew, and offers only solidified his determination
not to sell her. Visiting physicians, after
short acquaintance with her capacities, would
offer what were called fancy prices for her.
Planters who heard of her through their
purchases would come to the city purposely to
secure, at any cost, so inestimable an adjunct
to their plantations. Even ladies - refined,
delicate ladies - sometimes came to the pen
personally to back money with influence. In
vain. Little Mammy was worth more to the
negro-trader, simply as a kind of insurance
against accidents, than any sum, however
glittering the figure, and he was no ignorant
expert in human wares. She can tell it; no
one else can for her. Remember that at
times she had seen the streets outside.
Remember that she could hear of the outside
world daily from the passing chattels - of the
plantations, farms, families; the green fields,
Sunday woods, running streams; the camp-meetings,
corn-shuckings, cotton-pickings, sugar-grindings;
the baptisms, marriages, funerals,
prayer-meetings; the holidays and holy
days. Remember that, whether for liberty or
whether for love, passion effloresces in the
human being - no matter when, where, or
how - with every spring's return. Remember
that she was, even in middle age, young
and vigorous. But no; do not remember
anything. There is no need to heighten the
coloring.
It would be tedious to relate, although it
was not tedious to hear her relate it, the
desperations and hopes of her life then. Hardly
a day passed that she did not see, looking for
purchases (rummaging among goods on a
counter for bargains), some master whom she
could have loved, some mistress whom she
could have adored. Always her favorite
mistresses were there - tall, delicate matrons,
who came themselves, with great fatigue, to
select kindly-faced women for nurses;
languid-looking ladies with smooth hair
standing out in wide
bandeaux
from their heads, and lace shawls dropping
from their sloping
shoulders, silk dresses carelessly held up in
thumb and finger from embroidered petticoats
that were spread out like tents over huge
hoops which covered whole groups of swarming
piccaninnies on the dirty floor; ladies, pale
from illnesses that she might have nursed,
and over-burdened with children whom she
might have reared! And not a lady of that
kind saw her face but wanted her, yearned
for her, pleaded for her, coming back secretly
to slip silver, and sometimes gold, pieces into
her hand, patting her turbaned head, calling
her "little Mammy" too, instantly, by inspiration,
and making the negro-trader give them,
with all sorts of assurances, the refusal of her.
She had no need for the whispered "Buy me,
master!" "Buy me, mistress!" "You'll see
how I can work, master!" "You'll never be
sorry, mistress!" of the others. The negro-trader
- like hangmen, negro-traders are fitted
by nature for their profession - it came
into his head - he had no heart, not even
a negro-trader's heart - that it would be more
judicious to seclude her during these shopping
visits, so to speak. She could not have
had any hopes then at all; it must have been
all desperations.
That auction-block, that executioner's block,
about which so much has been written - Jacob's
ladder, in his dream, was nothing to
what that block appeared nightly in her
dreams to her; and the climbers up and down
- well, perhaps Jacob's angels were his
hopes, too.
At times she determined to depreciate her
usefulness, mar her value, by renouncing her
heart, denying her purpose. For days she
would tie her kerchief over her ears and eyes,
and crouch in a corner, strangling her
impulses. She even malingered, refused food,
became dumb. And she might have succeeded
in making herself salable through incipient
lunacy, if through no other way, had she been
able to maintain her role long enough. But
some woman or baby always was falling into
some emergency of pain and illness.
How it might have ended one does not like
to think. Fortunately, one does not need to
think.
There came a night. She sat alone in the
vast, dark caravansary - alone for the first
time in her life. Empty rags and blankets lay
strewn over the floor, no snoring, no tossing
in them more. A sacrificial sale that day had
cleared the counters. Alarm-bells rang in the
streets, but she did not know them for
alarm-bells; alarm brooded in the dim space around
her, but she did not even recognize that. Her
protracted tension of heart had made her fear-blind
to all but one peradventure.
Once or twice she forgot herself, and
limped over to some heap to relieve an
imaginary struggling babe or moaning sleeper.
Morning came. She had dozed. She looked
to see the rag-heaps stir; they lay as still as
corpses. The alarm-bells had ceased. She
looked to see a new gang enter the far door.
She listened for the gathering buzzing of
voices in the next room, around the
auction-block. She waited for the trader. She
waited for the janitor. At nightfall a file of
soldiers entered. They drove her forth,
ordering her in the voice, in the tone, of the
negro-trader. That was the only familiar
thing in the chaos of incomprehensibility
about her. She hobbled through the auction-room.
Posters, advertisements, papers, lay
on the floor, and in the torch-light glared
from the wall. Her Jacob's ladder, her
stepping-stone to her hopes, lay overturned in
a corner.
You divine it. The negro-trader's trade
was abolished, and he had vanished in the din
and smoke of a war which he had not been
entirely guiltless of producing, leaving little
Mammy locked up behind him. Had he
forgotten her? One cannot even hope so. She
hobbled out into the street, leaning on her
nine-year-old broomstick (she had grown
only slightly beyond it; could still use it by
bending over it), her head tied in a rag
kerchief, a rag for a gown, a rag for an apron.
Free, she was free! But she had not hoped
for freedom. The plantation, the household,
the delicate ladies, the teeming children, -
broomsticks they were in comparison to
freedom, but, - that was what she had asked,
what she had prayed for. God, she said, had
let her drop, just as her mother had done.
More than ever she grieved, as she crept
down the street, that she had never mounted
the auctioneer's block. An ownerless free
negro! She knew no one whose duty it was
to help her; no one knew her to help her.
In the whole world (it was all she had asked)
there was no white child to call her mammy,
no white lady or gentleman (it was the extent
of her dreams) beholden to her as to a
nurse. And all her innumerable black
beneficiaries! Even the janitor, whom she had
tended as the others, had deserted her like
his white prototype.
She tried to find a place for herself, but she
had no indorsers, no recommenders. She
dared not mention the name of the negro-trader;
it banished her not only from the
households of the whites, but from those of
the genteel of her own color. And everywhere
soldiers sentineled the streets - soldiers
whose tone and accent reminded her
of the negro-trader.
Her sufferings, whether imaginary or real,
were sufficiently acute to drive her into the
only form of escape which once had been possible
to friendless negroes. She became a
runaway. With a bundle tied to the end of a
stick over her shoulder, just as the old prints
represent it, she fled from her homelessness
and loneliness, from her ignoble past, and the
heart-disappointing termination of it. Following
a railroad track, journeying afoot, sleeping
by the roadside, she lived on until she
came to the one familiar landmark in life to
her - a sick woman, but a white one. And
so, progressing from patient to patient (it was
a time when sick white women studded the
country like mile-posts), she arrived at a little
town, a kind of a refuge for soldiers' wives and
widows. She never traveled further. She
could not. Always, as in the pen, some
emergency of pain and illness held her.
That is all. She is still there. The poor,
poor women of that stricken region say that
little Mammy was the only alleviation God
left them after Sheridan passed through; and
the richer ones say very much the same
thing -
But one should hear her tell it herself, as
has been said, on a cold, gloomy winter day
in the country, the fire glimmering on the
hearth; the overworked husband in the fields;
the baby quiet at last; the mother uneasy,
restless, thought-driven; the soft black hand
rubbing backward and forward, rubbing out
aches and frets and nervousness.
The eyelids droop; the firelight plays
fantasies on the bed-curtains; the ear drops
words, sentences; one gets confused - one
sleeps - one dreams.
AT the first glance one might have been
inclined to doubt; but at the second
anybody would have recognized her - that
is, with a little mental rehabilitation: the
bright little rouge spots in the hollow of her
cheek, the eyebrows well accentuated with
paint, the thin lips rose-tinted, and the dull,
straight hair frizzed and curled and twisted
and turned by that consummate rascal and
artist, the official beautifier and rectifier of
stage humanity, Robert, the opera
coiffeur.
Who in the world knows better than he
the gulf between the real and the ideal,
the limitations between the natural and the
romantic?
Yes, one could see her, in that time-honored
thin silk dress of hers stiffened into
brocade by buckram underneath; the high,
low necked waist, hiding any evidences of
breast, if there were such evidences to hide,
and bringing the long neck into such faulty
prominence; and the sleeves, crisp puffs of
tulle divided by bands of red velvet, through
which the poor lean arm runs like a wire,
stringing them together like beater. Yes, it
was she, the whilom
dugazon of the opera
troupe. Not that she ever was a
dugazon, but that
was what her voice once aspired
to be: a dugazon
manquée would better describe her.
What a ghost! But they always appeared
like mere evaporations of real women. For
what woman of flesh and blood can seriously
maintain through life the rôle of sham
attendant on sham sensations, and play public
celebrant of other women's loves and lovers,
singing, or rather saying, nothing more
enlivening than: "Oh, madame!" and "Ah,
madame!" and "
Quelle ivresse!"
or "Quelle
horreur!" or, in recitative, detailing
whatever dreary platitudes and inanities the
librettist and Heaven connive to put upon
the tongues of confidantes and attendants?
Looking at her - how it came over one!
The music, the lights, the scene; the fat
soprano confiding to her the fact of the "amour
extrême" she bears for the tenor, to which
she, the dugazon,
does not even try to listen;
her eyes wandering listlessly over the
audience. The calorous secret out, and in her
possession, how she stumbles over her train
to the back of the stage, there to pose in
abject patience and awkwardness, while the
gallant barytone, touching his sword, and
flinging his cape over his shoulder, defies the
world and the tenor, who is just recovering
from his "ut de
poitrine"
behind the scenes.
She was talking to me all the time,
apologizing for the intrusion, explaining her
mission, which involved a short story of her life,
as women's intrusions and missions usually
do. But my thoughts, also as usual, distracted
me from listening, as so often they
have distracted me from following what was
perhaps more profitable.
The composer, of course, wastes no music
upon her; flinging to her only an occasional
recitative in two notes, but always ending in
a reef of a scale, trill, or roulade, for her
to wreck her voice on before the audience.
The chef d'
orchestre, if he is charitable,
starts her off with a contribution from his
own lusty lungs, and then she - oh, her voice
is always thinner and more osseous than her
arms, and her smile no more graceful than
her train!
As well think of the simulated trees,
waterfalls, and châteaux leaving the stage, as the
dugazon!
One always imagines them singing
on into dimness, dustiness, unsteadiness,
and uselessness, until, like any other piece
of stage property, the
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Page 21LA GRANDE DEMOISELLE
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Page 37MIMI'S MARRIAGE
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Page 55THE MIRACLE CHAPEL
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Page 67THE STORY OF A DAY
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Page 89ANNE MARIE AND JEANNE MARIE
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Page 103A CRIPPLED HOPE
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Page 125"ONE OF US"
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