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        <title><emph rend="bold">A Collection of Plays and Poems, by the Late Col. Robert Munford, of Mecklenburg County, in the State of Virginia. Now First Published Together:</emph>
Electronic Edition.</title>
        <author>Munford, Robert, d. 1784</author>
        <funder>Funding from the University of North Carolina Library supported the electronic publication of this title.</funder>
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            <title type="title page"> A Collection of Plays and Poems, by the Late Col. Robert Munford, of Mecklenburg County, in the State of Virginia. Now First Published Together.</title>
            <author>Col. Robert Munford</author>
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          <extent>xii, 13-168, 187-206 p.</extent>
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    <front>
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        <docTitle>
          <titlePart type="main">A <lb/><hi rend="italics">COLLECTION</hi><lb/> OF <lb/> PLAYS AND POEMS,</titlePart>
          <titlePart type="sub"> BY THE LATE
<lb/><hi rend="italics">COL. ROBERT MUNFORD,</hi>
<lb/>
OF MECKLENBURG COUNTY, IN THE STATE OF <lb/> VIRGINIA.
<lb/><hi rend="italics">NOW FIRST PUBLISHED TOGETHER.</hi></titlePart>
        </docTitle>
        <docImprint><pubPlace><hi rend="italics">PETERSBURG:</hi></pubPlace>
<publisher>PRINTED BY WILLIAM PRENTIS.</publisher>
<docDate>M.DCC.XCVIII.</docDate></docImprint>
      </titlePage>
      <div1 type="contents">
        <pb id="piii" n="[iii]"/>
        <head>CONTENTS.</head>
        <list type="simple">
          <item>I. Preface<ref targOrder="U" target="pv"> page 5</ref></item>
          <item>II. The Candidates, a Comedy in three acts <ref targOrder="U" target="pix">9</ref></item>
          <item>III. The Patriots, in five acts <ref targOrder="U" target="p53">53</ref></item>
          <item>IV. A translation of the first Book of Ovid's Metamorphoses in English verse <ref targOrder="U" target="p133">133</ref></item>
          <item>V. The Ram, a humorous poem, written about the time when the ladies wore very high head-dresses, being a true story <ref targOrder="U" target="p165">165</ref></item>
          <item>VI. First letter from the Devil to his son <ref targOrder="U" target="p194">194</ref></item>
          <item>VII. Second letter from the same to the same <ref targOrder="U" target="p196">196</ref></item>
          <item>VIII. Answer to the foregoing <ref targOrder="U" target="p197">197</ref></item>
          <item>IX. A poem in answer to one, entitled, “The Winter piece <ref targOrder="U" target="p199">199</ref></item>
          <item>X. Colin and Celia; a pastoral poem <ref targOrder="U" target="p204">204</ref></item>
          <item>XI. A Dream <ref targOrder="U" target="p205">205</ref></item>
          <item>XII. A Patriotic Song <ref targOrder="U" target="p206">206</ref></item>
        </list>
      </div1>
      <div1 type="preface">
        <pb id="pv" n="[v]"/>
        <head>PREFACE.</head>
        <p>THE following pages are given to the world by a son, whose filial affection may perhaps have induced him to entertain too high an opinion of the merit of his father's productions; but who candidly owns, his motives to the publication were, a conviction that the work is calculated to afford considerable amusement and instruction, and a warm desire to rescue the memory of a father from oblivion.</p>
        <p>Though to all they may not appear in the light in which they do to me, as precious memorials of that wit and poetical genius which once animated the breast of him who is now forever laid in the silent tomb, and who once was the delight of his friends and family; yet many, I hope, when they read this work, will remember a departed friend, and mourn the loss of the man while they enjoy the humour of the poet. All I trust will here find abundant subjects of merriment and diversion.</p>
        <pb id="pvi" n="vi"/>
        <p>The author appears to have thoroughly understood the true points of ridicule in human characters, and to have drawn them with great accuracy and variety in his comedies. The piece entitled, The Candidates, is intended to laugh to scorn the practice of corruption, and falsehood; of which too many are guilty in electioneering; to teach our countrymen to despise the arts of those who meanly attempt to influence their votes by any thing but merit.—The play of the Patriots is a picture of real and pretended patriots; by which the reader may perceive the difference between them, may learn to honour and reward the true, and to treat the false with infamy and contempt. If any construction should be put upon it as a satire on the conduct of America in the late revolution, the whole tenour of the author's political conduct will exempt him from the imputation of such an intention. He entered warmly into the principles of the friends of America, he boldly fought in her defence, and proved his attachment to her cause not by words only, but by deeds. The play itself also speaks a different language; and evidently proves it was written in ridicule of political hypocrites, and not of the true friends of their country.</p>
        <p>With respect to the other poems, I believe the translation of Ovid will be found to be very correct
<pb id="pvii" n="vii"/>
and highly poetical. The author intended, if he had lived, to translate the whole work, but death put an end to his design. The smaller poems I submit to the reader, without saying any thing of their merit, as I wish not to forestall a pleasure, or to raise too great expectations.</p>
        <p>With these short observations, gentle reader, I bid thee adieu; with a sincere wish that the work before thee may afford thee rational amusement.</p>
        <closer>
          <signed>
            <hi rend="italics">WILLIAM MUNFORD.</hi>
          </signed>
        </closer>
      </div1>
    </front>
    <body>
      <div1 type="play">
        <pb id="pix" n="[ix]"/>
        <head>THE <lb/> CANDIDATES; <lb/> OR, THE <lb/> HUMOURS OF A VIRGINIA ELECTION. <lb/> A COMEDY, <lb/> IN THREE ACTS.</head>
        <div2 type="dramatis personae">
          <pb id="px" n="[x]"/>
          <head>DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.</head>
          <p>
            <table>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1"><hi rend="italics">Sir John Toddy,</hi> </cell>
                <cell role="data" rows="4" cols="1">Candidates for the office of delegates to the general assembly.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Mr. Wou'dbe,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Mr. Strutabout,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Mr. Smallhopes,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Mr. Julip,</hi>
                </cell>
                <cell role="data" rows="2" cols="1"> Gentlemen Justices.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt. Paunch,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Mr. Worthy,</hi>
                </cell>
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1"> formerly a delegate, but now declines.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle,</hi>
                </cell>
                <cell role="data" rows="4" cols="1"> Freeholders.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Prize,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho,</hi>
                </cell>
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1"> Wou'dbe's servant.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Jack,</hi>
                </cell>
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1"> a tool to Mr. Strutabout.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned,</hi>
                </cell>
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1"> the same to Mr. Smallhopes.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle,</hi>
                </cell>
                <cell role="data" rows="4" cols="1"> Freeholders' wives.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Lucy Twist,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1"> Freeholders' wives.</cell>
              </row>
              <row role="data">
                <cell role="data" rows="1" cols="1">
                  <hi rend="italics">Sarah Prize,</hi>
                </cell>
              </row>
            </table>
          </p>
          <p><hi rend="italic">Freeholders, Country girls,</hi> &amp;c.</p>
        </div2>
        <div2 type="prologue">
          <pb id="pxi" n="[xi]"/>
          <head>PROLOGUE. </head>
          <head>
            <hi rend="italics">BY A FRIEND.</hi>
          </head>
          <lg type="poem">
            <l>LADIES and gentlemen, to-night you'll see</l>
            <l>A bard delighting in satiric glee;</l>
            <l>In merry scenes his biting tale unfold,</l>
            <l>And high to Folly's eye the mirror hold:</l>
            <l>Here eager candidates shall call for votes,</l>
            <l>And bawling voters louder stretch their throats:</l>
            <l>Here may you view, in groups diverting, join'd</l>
            <l>The poor and wealthy rabble of mankind;</l>
            <l>All who deserve the lash, the lash will find.</l>
            <l>Here characters, whose names are now unknown,</l>
            <l>Shall shine again, as in their spheres they shone;</l>
            <l>While some may make malicious explanation,</l>
            <l>And know them all still living in the nation.</l>
            <l>If any present, say, fie, shameless bard!</l>
            <l>Hast thou for decency no more regard</l>
            <l>Than at thy betters, thus to make a stand,</l>
            <l>And boldly point out meanness, contraband,</l>
            <l>Depreciating the wisdom of the land?</l>
            <l>Tho' such, the wond'rous sympathy of wits,</l>
            <l>That every fool will wear the cap that fits,</l>
            <l>I boldly answer, how could he mean you,</l>
            <l>Who, when he wrote, about you nothing knew?</l>
            <l>The state of things was such, in former times,</l>
            <l>'Ere wicked kings were punish'd for their crimes;</l>
            <l>Then strove the candidates to gain their seats</l>
            <l>Most heartily, with drinking bouts, and treats;</l>
            <l>The meanest vices all the people stain'd,</l>
            <l>And drunkenness, and monarchy both reign'd,</l>
            <l>With such strong cause his anger to engage,</l>
            <l>How could our Bard restrain satiric rage?</l>
            <pb id="pxii" n="xii"/>
            <l>But, God forbid, its edge shou'd now apply,</l>
            <l>Or on our race-field, when you cast an eye</l>
            <l>You there a home-election—should espy.</l>
            <l>Science and virtue, now are wider spread,</l>
            <l>And crown with dignity, fair Freedom's head.</l>
            <l>We only pray this satire ne'er be just,</l>
            <l>Save when apply'd to other times, and trust</l>
            <l>Its keenness only, a rememb'rancer,</l>
            <l>And guard from future evils, may appear.</l>
            <l>If, after this, objections should remain,</l>
            <l>The motive's envy, consciousness disdain,</l>
            <l>Or any thing, except the poet's want</l>
            <l>Of sense, which no true publisher will grant.</l>
            <l>Yet virtue is not in our story lost,</l>
            <l>E'en then, Virginians could much virtue boast.</l>
            <l>With plaudits, therefore, and free laughter own</l>
            <l>Virginia's first and only comic son;</l>
            <l>Ah! could the bard, rejoicing, raise his head</l>
            <l>To hear his praise!—Alas! the bard is dead.</l>
          </lg>
        </div2>
        <div2 type="play">
          <pb id="p13" n="13"/>
          <head>THE <lb/> CANDIDATES, &amp;c.</head>
          <div3 type="act I">
            <head>ACT I. SCENE I.</head>
            <div4 type="scene">
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Mr. Wou'dbe's house. </hi>
              </stage>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics"> Enter Wou'dbe with a news-paper in his hand.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I AM very sorry our good old governor Botetourt has left us. He well deserved our friendship, when alive, and that we should for years to come, with gratitude, remember his mild and affable deportment. Well, our little world will soon be up, and very busy towards our next election. Must I again be subject to the humours of a fickle croud? Must I again resign my reason, and be nought but what each voter pleases? Must I cajole, sawn, and wheedle, for a place that brings so little profit?</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Ralpho.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Sir John Toddy is below, and if your honour is at leisure, would beg to speak to you.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> My compliments to Sir John, and tell him, I shall be glad of his company. So—Sir John, some time ago, heard me say I was willing to resign my seat in the house to an abler person, and he comes modestly to accept of it.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Sir John Toddy.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Mr. Wou'dbe, your most obedient servant, sir; I am proud to find you well. I hope you are in good health, sir?</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p14" n="14"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Very well, I am obliged to you, Sir John. Why, Sir John, you surely are practising the grimace and compliments you intend to make use of among the freeholders in the next election, and have introduced yourself to me with the self-same common-place expressions that we candidates adopt when we intend to wheedle a fellow out of his vote—I hope you have no scheme upon me, Sir John?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> No, sir, upon my honour, sir, it was punctually to know how your lady and family did, sir, 'pon honour, sir, it was.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You had better be more sparing of your honour at present, Sir John; for, if you are a candidate, whenever you make promises to the people that you can't comply with, you must say upon honour, otherwise they won't believe you.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Upon honour, sir, I have no thought to set up for a candidate, unless you say the word.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Such condescension from you, Sir John, I have no reason to expect: you have my hearty consent to do as you please, and if the people choose you their Representative, I must accept of you as a colleague.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> As a colleague, Mr. Wou'dbe! I was thinking you did not intend to stand a poll, and my business, sir, was to get the favour of you to speak a good word for me among the people.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I hope you have no occasion for a trumpeter, Sir John? If you have, I'll speak a good word to you, and advise you to decline.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why, Mr. Wou'dbe, after you declin'd, I thought I was the next <hi rend="italics">fittenest</hi> man in the county,
<pb id="p15" n="15"/>
and Mr. Wou'dbe, if you would be ungenerous, tho' you are a laughing man, you would tell me so.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> It would be ungenerous indeed, Sir John, to tell you what the people could never be induced to believe. But I'll be ingenuous enough to tell you, Sir John, if you expect any assistance from me, you'll be disappointed, for I can't think you the <hi rend="italics">fittenest</hi> man I know.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Pray, sir, who do you know besides? Perhaps I may be thought as fit as your honour. But, sir, if you are for that, the hardest send off: damn me, if I care a farthing for you; and so, your servant, sir. </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit Sir John.</hi></stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> So, I have got the old knight, and his friend Guzzle, I suppose, against me, by speaking so freely; but their interest, I believe, has not weight enough among the people, for me to lose any thing, by making them my enemies. Indeed, the being intimate with such a fool as Sir John, might tend more to my discredit with them, for the people of Virginia have too much sense not to perceive how weak the head must be that is always filled with liquor. Ralpho!—</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Ralpho.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Sir, what does your honour desire?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'm going into my library, and if any gentleman calls, you may introduce him to me there.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ral.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, sir. But, master, as election-times are coming, I wish you would remember a poor servant, a little.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> What do you want?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ral.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why, the last suit of clothes your honour gave me is quite worn out. Look here, <stage>(<hi rend="italics">shewing</hi>
<pb id="p16" n="16"/>
<hi rend="italics">his elbows</hi>)</stage> the insigns, (as I have heard your honour say, in one of your fine speeches) the insigns of faithful service. Now, methinks, as they that set up for burgesses, cut a dash, and have rare sport, why might not their servants have a little decreation?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I understand you, Ralpho, you wish to amuse yourself, and make a figure among the girls this Election, and since such a desire is natural to the young, and innocent if not carried to excess, I am willing to satisfy you; you may therefore, have the suit I pulled off yesterday, and accept this present as an evidence that I am pleased with your diligence and fidelity, and am ever ready to reward it. </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">(Exit Wou'dbe.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p>God bless your honour! what a good master! who would not do every thing to give such a one pleasure? But, e'gad, it's time to think of my new clothes: I'll go and try them on. Gadso! this figure of mine is not reconsiderable in its delurements, and when I'm dressed out like a gentleman, the girls, I'm a thinking, will find me desistible. </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit.</hi></stage>
            </div4>
            <div4 type="scene">
              <head>SCENE II. <stage><hi rend="italics">A porch of a tavern: a Court-house on <lb/> one side, and an high road behind.</hi></stage></head>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Captain Paunch, Ned, and several freeholders discovered.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, gentlemen, I suppose we are all going to the barbecue together.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt. Paunch.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Indeed, sir, I can assure you, I have no such intention.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Not go to your friend Wou'dbe's treat! He's such a pretty fellow, and you like him so well, I wonder you won't go to drink his liquor.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt. P.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Aye, aye, very strange: but your friends Strutabout and Smallhopes, I like so little as never
<pb id="p17" n="17"/>
to take a glass from them, because I shall never pay the price which is always expected for it, by voting against my conscience: I therefore don't go, to avoid being asked for what I won't give.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> A very distress motive, truly, but for the matter of that, you've not so much to boast of your friend Wou'dbe, if what I have been told of him is true; for I have heard say, he and the fine beast of a gentleman, Sir John Toddy, have joined interess. Mr. Wou'dbe, I was creditly 'formed, was known for to say, he wouldn't serve for a burgess, unless Sir John was elected with him.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> What's that you say, neighbour? has Mr. Wou'dbe and Sir John joined interest?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, they have; and ant there a clever fellow for ye? a rare burgess you will have, when a fellow gets in, who will go drunk, and be a sleeping in the house! I wish people wouldn't pretend for to hold up their heads so high, who have such friends and associates. There's poor Mr. Smallhopes, who isn't as much attended to, is a very proper gentleman, and is no drunkard, and has no drunken companions.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> I don't believe it. Mr. Wou'dbe's a cleverer man than that, and people ought to be ashamed to vent such slanders.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>2<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> So I say: and as we are of one mind, let's go strait, and let Mr. Wou'dbe know it. </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Exeunt two Freeholders.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>3<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> If Mr. Wou'dbe did say it, I won't vote for him, that's sartain.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>4<hi rend="italics">th Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Are you sure of it, neighbour? </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">(To Ned.)</hi>
              </stage>
              <pb id="p18" n="18"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, I am sure of it: d'ye think I'd speak such a thing without having good authority?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>4<hi rend="italics">th Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> I'm sorry for't; come neighbour, <stage><hi rend="italics">(to the</hi> 3<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder)</hi></stage> this is the worst news that I've heard for a long time. </p>
              </sp>
              <stage><hi rend="italics">(Exeunt</hi> 3<hi rend="italics">d &amp;</hi> 4<hi rend="italics">th Freeholder.</hi></stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>5<hi rend="italics">th Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> I'm glad to hear it. Sir John Toddy is a clever open-hearted gentleman as I ever knew, one that wont turn his back upon a poor man, but will take a chearful cup with one as well as another, and it does honour to Mr. Wou'dbe to prefer such a one, to any of your whifflers who han't the heart to be generous, and yet despise poor folks. Huzza! for Mr. Wou'dbe and for Sir John Toddy.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>6<hi rend="italics">th Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> I think so too, neighbour. Mr. Wou'dbe, I always thought, was a man of sense, and had larning, as they call it, but he did not love diversion enough, I like him the better for't. Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe and Sir John Toddy.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Both.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe and Sir John Toddy. Wou'dbe and Toddy, for ever, boys! </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">(Exeunt.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt. Paunch.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> The man that heard it is mistaken, for Mr. Wou'dbe never said it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'll lay you a bowl he did.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt. P.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Done.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Done, sir, Oh! Jack Sly, Jack Sly.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Jack. (without)</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Halloa.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Jack, saying, who call'd me? what's your business?</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned. </hi>
                </speaker>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics">(winking to Jack).</hi>
                </stage>
                <p> I have laid a bowl with the Captain here, that Mr. Wou'dbe did say, that he would not serve as a burgess, unless Sir John Toddy was elected with him.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p19" n="19"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Jack.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I have heard as much, and more that's little to his credit. He has hurt us more than he'll do us good for one while. It's his doings our levies are so high.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt. P.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Out upon you, if that's your proof, fetch the bowl. Why, gentlemen, if I had a mind, I could fay as much and more of the other candidates. But, gentlemen, 'tis not fair play: don't abuse our friend, and we'll let your's alone. Mr. Wou'dbe is a clever gentleman, and perhaps so are the rest: let every man vote as he pleases, and let's raise no stories to the prejudice of either.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ned.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Damn me, if I don't speak my mind. Wou'dbe shan't go if I can help it, by God, for I boldly say, Mr. Wou'dbe has done us more harm, than he will ever do us good, <stage><hi rend="italics">(raising his voice very high).</hi></stage> </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exeunt into the house,</hi></stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Jack.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> So say I. </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit after him.</hi></stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt. P.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Go along: bawl your hearts out: nobody will mind you, I hope. Well, I rejoice that Mr. Wou'dbe is determined still to serve us. If he does us no good, he will do us no harm. Mr. Strut-about would do very well if he was not such a coxcomb. As for Smallhopes, I'd as soon send to New-Market, for a burgess, as send him, and old Sir John loves tipple too well: egad, I'll give Wou'dbe my vote, and throw away the other. </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit.</hi></stage>
            </div4>
            <div4 type="scene">
              <head>SCENE III. <stage><hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe's house.</hi></stage></head>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Wou'dbe, looking at a letter.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> This note gives me information, that the people are much displeased with me for declaring in
<pb id="p20" n="20"/>
favour of Sir John Toddy. Who could propagate this report, I know not, but was not this abroad, something else would be reported, as prejudicial to my interest; I must take an opportunity of justifying myself in public.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Ralpho.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Mr. Strutabout waits upon your honour.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Desire him to walk in.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Mr. Strutabout.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Mr. Wou'dbe, your servant. Considering the business now in hand, I think you confine yourself too much at home. There are several little reports circulating to your disadvantage, and as a friend, I would advise you to shew yourself to the people, and endeavour to confute them.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I believe, sir, I am indebted to my brother candidates, for most of the reports that are propagated to my disadvantage, but I hope, Mr. Strut-about is a man of too much honour, to say any thing in my absence, that he cannot make appear.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> That you may depend on, sir. But there are some who are so intent upon taking your place, that they will stick at nothing to obtain their ends.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Are you in the secret, sir?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> So far, sir, that I have had overtures from Mr. Smallhopes and his friends, to join my interest with their's, against you. This, I rejected with disdain, being conscious that you were the properest person to serve the county; but when Smallhopes told me, he intended to prejudice your interest by scattering a few stories among the people, to your disadvantage,
<pb id="p21" n="21"/>
it raised my blood to such a pitch, that had he not promised me to be silent, I believe I should have chastised him for you myself.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> If, sir, you were so far my friend, I am obliged to you: though whatever report he is the author of, will, I am certain, gain little credit with the people.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I believe so; and therefore, if you are willing, we'll join our interests together, and soon convince the fellow, that by attacking you he has injured himself.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> So far from joining with you, or any body else, or endeavouring to procure a vote for you, I am determined never to ask a vote for myself, or receive one that is unduly obtained.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Ralpho.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ral.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Master, rare news, here's our neighbour Guzzle, as drunk as ever Chief Justice Cornelius was upon the bench.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> That's no news, Ralpho: but do you call it rare news, that a creature in the shape of man, and endued with the faculties of reason, should so far debase the workmanship of heaven, by making his carcase a receptacle for such pollution?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Master, you are hard upon neighbour Guzzle: our Justices gets drunk, and why not poor Guzzle? But, sir, he wants to see you.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Tell him to come in. <stage><hi rend="italics">(exit Ralpho).</hi></stage> All must be made welcome now.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Re-enter Ralpho and Guzzle, with an empty bottle.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Ha! Mr. Wou'dbe, how is it?</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p22" n="22"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'm something more in my senses than you, John, tho' not so sensible as you would have me, I suppose.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> If I can make you sensible how much I want my bottle filled, and how much I shall love the contents, it's all the senses I desire you to have.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> If I may be allowed to speak, neighbour Guzzle, you are wrong; his honour sits up for a burgess, and should have five senses at least.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Five senses! how, what five?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why, neighbour, you know, eating, drinking, and sleeping are three; t'other two are best known to myself.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'm sorry Mr. Guzzle, you are so ignorant of the necessary qualifications of a member of the house of burgesses.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why, you old dog, I knew before Ralpho told me. To convince you, eating, drinking and sleeping, are three; sighting and lying are t'others.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why sighting and lying?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why, because you are not sit for a burgess, unless you'll fight; suppose a man that values himself upon boxing, should stand in the lobby, ready cock'd and prim'd, and knock you down, and bung up both your eyes for a fortnight, you'd be ashamed to shew your face in the house, and be living at our expence all the time.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why lying?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Because, when you have been at Williamsburg, for six or seven weeks, under pretence of serving your county, and come back, says I to you, what news? none at all, says you; what have you
<pb id="p23" n="23"/>
been about? says I,—says you—and so you must tell some damned lie, sooner than say you have been doing nothing.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> No, Guzzle, I'll make it a point of duty to dispatch the business, and my study to promote the good of my county.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, damn it, you all promise mighty fair, but the devil a bit do you perform; there's Strutabout, now, he'll promise to move mountains. He'll make the rivers navigable, and bring the tide over the tops of the hills, for a vote.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You may depend, Mr. Guzzle, I'll perform whatever I promise.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I don't believe it, damn me if I like you. </p>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics">(looking angry.</hi>
                </stage>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Don't be angry, John, let our actions hereafter be the test of our inclinations to serve you. </p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">(Exit Strutabout.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Agreed, Mr. Wou'dbe, but that fellow that slunk off just now, I've no opinion of.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics"> (Looking about)</hi>
                </stage>
                <p> what, is Mr. Strutabout gone? why, surely, Guzzle, you did not put him to flight?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I suppose I did, but no matter, <stage><hi rend="italics">(holding up his bottle, and looking at it,)</hi></stage> my bottle never was so long a filling in this house, before; surely, there's a leak in the bottom, <hi rend="italics">(looks at it again).</hi></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> What have you got in your bottle, John, a lizard?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, a very uncommon one, and I want a little rum put to it, to preserve it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Hav'n't you one in your belly, John?</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p24" n="24"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> A dozen, I believe, by their twisting, when I mentioned the rum.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Would you have rum to preserve them, too?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, yes, Mr. Wou'dbe, by all means; but, why so much talk about it, if you intend to do it, do it at once, man, for I am in a damnable hurry.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Do what? who are to be burgesses, John?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Who are to be what? <stage><hi rend="italics">(looking angry).</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Burgesses, who are you for?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> For the first man that fills my bottle: so Mr. Wou'dbe, your servant. <stage><hi rend="italics">(Exit Guzzle.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Ralpho, go after him, and fill his bottle.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Master, we ought to be careful of the rum, else 'twill not hold out, <stage><hi rend="italics">(aside)</hi></stage> it's always a feast or a famine with us; master has just got a little Jamaica for his own use, and now he must spill it, and spare it till there's not a drop left. <stage><hi rend="italics">(Exit.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe. </hi>
                </speaker>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics">(pulling out his watch.)</hi>
                </stage>
                <p> 'Tis now the time a friend of mine has appointed for me to meet the freeholders at a barbecue; well, I find, in order to secure a seat in our august senate, 'tis necessary a man should either be a slave or a fool; a slave to the people, for the privilege of serving them, and a fool himself, for thus begging a troublesome and expensive employment.</p>
              </sp>
              <lg type="poem">
                <l>To sigh, while toddy-toping sots rejoice,</l>
                <l>To see you paying for their empty voice,</l>
                <l>From morn to night your humble head decline,</l>
                <l>To gain an honour that is justly thine,</l>
                <l>Intreat a fool, who's your's at this day's treat,</l>
                <l>And next another's, if another's meat,</l>
                <pb id="p25" n="25"/>
                <l>Is all the bliss a candidate acquires,</l>
                <l>In all his wishes, or his vain desires.</l>
              </lg>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">(Exit.</hi>
              </stage>
              <p>END OF THE FIRST ACT.</p>
            </div4>
          </div3>
          <div3 type="act ii">
            <div4 type="scene">
              <head>ACT II. SCENE I.</head>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">A race-field, a bullock, and several hogs barbecued. Twist, Stern, Prize, Lucy, Catharine, and Sarah, sitting on four fence rails.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, gentlemen, what do you think of Mr. Strutabout, and Mr. Smallhopes? it seems one of the old ones declines, and t'other, I believe, might as well, if what neighbour Sly says, is true.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Pray, gentlemen, what plausible objection have you against Mr. Wou'dbe? he's a clever civil gentleman as any, and as far as my poor weak capacity can go, he's a man of as good learning, and knows the punctilios of behaving himself, with the best of them.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Prize.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Wou'dbe, for sartin, is a civil gentleman, but he can't speak his mind so boldly as Mr. Strutabout, and commend me to a man that will speak his mind freely;—I say.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italic">Lucy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, commend me to Mr. Wou'dbe, I say,—I nately like the man; he's mighty good to all his poor neighbours, and when he comes into a poor body's house, he's so free and so funny, is'nt he, old man? <stage><hi rend="italics">(speaking to Twist).</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> A little too free sometimes, faith; he was funny when he wanted to see the colour of your garters; wa'nt he?</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p26" n="26"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Lucy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Oh! for shame, husband. Mr. Wou'dbe has no more harm about him, than a sucking babe; at least, if he has, I never saw it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Nor felt it, I hope; but wife, you and I, you know, could never agree about burgesses.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Lucy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> If the wives were to vote, I believe they would make a better choice than their husbands.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You'd be for the funnyest—wou'dn't you?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Lucy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, faith; and the wittiest, and prettiest, and the wisest, and the best too; you are all for ugly except when you chose me.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Catharine.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well done, Lucy, you are right, girl. If we were all to speak to our old men as freely as you do, there would be better doings.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Perhaps not, Kate.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Catharine.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I am sure there would; for if a clever gentleman, now-a-days, only gives a body a ginger-cake in a civil way, you are sullen for a week about it. Remember when Mr. Wou'dbe promised Molly a riband, and pair of buckles, you would not let the poor girl have 'em: but you take toddy from him;—yes, and you'll drink a little too much, you know, Richard.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, it's none of our costs, if I do.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Catharine.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Husband, you know Mr. Wou'dbe is a clever gentleman; he has been a good friend to us.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I agree to it, and can vote for him without your clash.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sarah.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'll be bound when it comes to the pinch, they'll all vote for him: won't you old man? he stood for our George, when our neighbour refused us.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p27" n="27"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Prize.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Mr. Wou'dbe's a man well enough in his neighbourhood, and he may have learning, as they say he has, but he don't shew it like Mr. Strutabout.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Guzzle, and several freeholders.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italic">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Your servant, gentlemen, <stage>(<hi rend="italics">shakes hands all round</hi>)</stage> we have got fine weather, thank God: how are crops with you? we are very dry in our parts.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> We are very dry here; Mr. Guzzle, where's your friend Sir John, and Mr. Wou'dbe? they are to treat to-day, I hear.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I wish I could see it, but there are more treats besides their's; where's your friend Mr. Strutabout? I heard we were to have a treat from Small-hopes and him to-day.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Fine times, boys. Some of them had better keep their money; I'll vote for no man but to my liking.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> If I may be so bold, pray, which way is your liking?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Not as your's is, I believe; but nobody shall know my mind till the day.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Very good, Mr. Twist; nobody, I hope, will put themselves to the trouble to ask.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You have taken the trouble already.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> No harm, I hope, sir.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> None at all, sir: Yonder comes Sir John, and quite sober, as I live.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Sir John Toddy.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Gentlemen and ladies, your servant, hah! my old friend Prize, how goes it? how does your wife and children do?</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p28" n="28"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sarah.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> At your service, sir. <stage><hi rend="italics">(making a low courtsey.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Prize.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> How the devil come he to know me so well, and never spoke to me before in his life? <stage><hi rend="italics">(aside.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle. </hi>
                </speaker>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics">(whispering Sir John)</hi>
                </stage>
                <p> Dick Stern.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Hah! Mr. Stern, I'm proud to see you; I hope your family are well; how many children? does the good woman keep to the old stroke?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Catharine.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, an't please your honour, I hope my lady's well, with your honour.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> At your service, madam.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle. </hi>
                </speaker>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics">(whispering Sir John)</hi>
                </stage>
                <p> Roger Twist.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Hah! Mr. Roger Twist! your servant, sir. I hope your wife and children are well.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> There's my wife. I have no children, at your service.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> A pretty girl: why, Roger, if you don't do better, you must call an old fellow to your assistance.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I have enough to assist me, without applying to you, sir.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> No offence, I hope, sir; excuse my freedom.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> None at all, sir; Mr. Wou'dbe is ready to befriend me in that way at any time.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Not in earnest, I hope, sir; tho' he's a damn'd fellow, I believe.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Lucy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why, Roger, if you talk at this rate, people will think you are jealous; for shame of yourself.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> For shame of yourself, you mean.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> A truce, a truce—here comes Mr. Wou'dbe.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p29" n="29"/>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Mr. Wou'dbe.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Gentlemen, your servant. Why, Sir John, you have entered the list, it seems; and are determined to whip over the ground, if you are treated with a distance.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'm not to be distanc'd by you, or a dozen such.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> There's nothing like courage upon these occasions; but you were out when you chose me to ride for you, Sir John.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Let's have no more of your algebra, nor proverbs, here.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Come, gentlemen, you are both friends, I hope.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> While Sir John confined himself to his bottle and dogs, and moved only in his little circle of pot-companions, I could be with him; but since his folly has induced him to offer himself a candidate for a place, for which he is not fit, I must say, I despise him. The people are of opinion, that I favour, this undertaking of his; but I now declare, he is not the man I wish the people to elect.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Pray, sir, who gave you a right to choose for us?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I have no right to choose for you; but I have a right to give my opinion: especially when I am the supposed author of Sir John's folly.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Perhaps he's no greater fool than some others.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> It would be ungrateful in you, Mr. Guzzle, not to speak in favour of Sir John; for you
<pb id="p30" n="30"/>
have stored away many gallons of his liquor in that belly of your's.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> And he's the cleverer gentleman for it; is not he, neighbours?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> For sartin; it's no disparagement to drink with a poor fellow.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>2<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> No more it is, tho' some of the quality are mighty proud that way.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>3<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Mr. Wou'dbe shou'd'n't speak so freely against that.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Mr. Wou'dbe.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Sir.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> We have heard a sartin report, that you and Sir John have joined interest.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well; do you believe it?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why, it don't look much like it now, Mr. Wou'dbe; but, mayhap, it's only a copy of your countenance.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You may put what construction you please upon my behaviour, gentlemen; but I assure you, it never was my intention to join with Sir John, or any one else.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Moreover, I've heard a 'sponsible man say, he could prove you were the cause of these new taxes.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Do you believe that too? or can you believe that it's in the power of any individual member to make a law himself? If a law is enacted that is displeasing to the people, it has the concurrence of the whole legislative body, and my vote for, or against it, is of little consequence.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> And what the devil good do you do then?</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p31" n="31"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> As much as I have abilities to do.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Suppose, Mr. Wou'dbe, we were to want you to get the price of rum lower'd—wou'd you do it?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I cou'd not.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Sir John! he has promised to do it, huzza for Sir John!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Suppose, Mr. Wou'dbe, we should want this tax taken off—cou'd you do it?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I could not.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Strutabout! he's damn'd, if he don't. Huzza for Mr. Strutabout!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Suppose, Mr. Wou'dbe, we that live over the river, should want to come to church on this side, is it not very hard we should pay ferryage; when we pay as much to the church as you do?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Very hard.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Suppose we were to petition the assembly could you get us clear of that expence?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I believe it to be just; and make no doubt but it would pass into a law.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Will you do it?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I will endeavour to do it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Stern.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe! Wou'dbe forever!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Prize.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why don't you burgesses, do something with the damn'd pickers? If we have a hogshead of tobacco refused, away it goes to them; and after they have twisted up the best of it for their own use, and taken as much as will pay them for their trouble, the poor planter has little for his share.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p32" n="32"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> There are great complaints against them; and I believe the assembly will take them under consideration.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Prize.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Will you vote against them?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I will, if they deserve it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Prize.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe! you shall go, old fellow; don't be afraid; I'll warrant it.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exeunt severally; some huzzaing for Mr. Wou'dbe—some for Sir John—some for Mr. Strutabout.</hi></stage>
            </div4>
            <div4 type="scene">
              <head>SCENE II. <stage><hi rend="italics">Another part of the field.</hi></stage></head>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Mr. Strutabout, Mr. Smallhopes, and a number of freeholders round them.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Strutabout!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>2<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Smallhopes!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>3<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Hazza for Mr. Smallhopes and Mr. Strutabout!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>4<hi rend="italics">th Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Strutabout and Mr. Smallhopes! [<stage><hi rend="italics">Exeunt, huzzaing.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Guzzle, drunk.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Sir John Toddy, the cleverest gentleman—the finest gentleman that ever was <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickuping.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Mrs. Guzzle, drunk.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italic">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Where's my drunken beast of a husband? <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> Oh John Guzzle, Oh John Guzzle.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> What the devil do you want?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why don't you go home, you drunken beast? Lord bless me, how the gingerbread has given me the hickup.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Why, Joan, you have made too—free with the bottle—I believe.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p33" n="33"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I make free with <gap reason="torn page" extent="circa 10 characters"/> drunken sot!—Well, well, the gingrebre<gap reason="torn page" extent="circa 6 characters"/> me quite giddy.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Hold up, Joan, don't fall—<stage><hi rend="italics">(Mrs. <gap reason="torn page" extent="3 characters"/> falls.)</hi></stage> The devil, you will? Joan! why woman, what's the matter? are you drunk?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Drunk! you beast! No, quite sober; but very sick with eating ginger-bread.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> For shame, Joan; get up—<stage><hi rend="italics">(offers to help her up, and falls upon her.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Oh Lord! John! you've almost killed me.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Not I—I'll get clear of you as fast as I can.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Oh John, I shall die, I shall die.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Very well, you'll die a pleasant death, then.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Oh Lord! how sick! how sick!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Oh Joan Guzzle! Oh Joan Guz-zle!—Why don't you go home, you drunken beast. Lord bless me, how the gingerbread has given me the hickup.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Pray, my dear John, help me up.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Pray, my dear Joan, get sober first.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Pray John, help me up.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italic">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Pray, Joan, go to sleep; and when I am as drunk as you, I'll come and take your place. Fare-well, Joan. Huzza for Sir John Toddy!</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit huzzaing.</hi></stage>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Scene changes to another part of the field. Strutabout, Small-hopes, and freeholders.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Gentlemen—I'm much obliged to you
<pb id="p34" n="34"/><gap reason="torn page" extent="circa 15 characters"/>tentions; I make no doubt but (with <gap reason="torn page" extent="circa 13 characters"/>of my friend Mr. Smallhopes) I shall be <gap reason="torn page" extent="circa 10 characters"/>every thing you have requested. Your <gap reason="torn page" extent="circa 6 characters"/>ces shall be redress'd; and all your petitions <gap reason="torn page" extent="circa 3 characters"/>rd.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Freeholders.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Strutabout and Mr. Smallhopes!</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Mr. Wou'dbe.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Gentlemen, your servant; you seem happy in a circle of your friends, I hope my company is not disagreeable.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> It can't be very agreeable to those you have treated so ill.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Smallhopes.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You have used me ill, and all this company, by God—</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> If I have, Gentlemen, I am sorry for it; but it never was my intention to treat any person ungenteelly.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Smallhopes.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You be damn'd; you're a turn-coat, by God.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Your abuse will never have any weight with me: neither do I regard your oaths or imprecations. In order to support a weak cause, you swear to what requires better proof than your assertions.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Smallhopes.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Where's your friend, Sir John Toddy? he's a pretty fellow, an't he, and be damn'd to you; you recommend him to the people, don't you?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> No, sir; I should be as blamable to recommend Sir John, as you, and your friend there <stage><hi rend="italics">(pointing to Strutabout)</hi></stage> in recommending one another.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Sir, I am as capable of serving the people
<pb id="p35" n="35"/>
as yourself; and let me tell you, sir, my sole intention in offering myself is, that I may redress the many and heavy grievances you have imposed upon this poor county.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Poor, indeed, when you are believed, or when coxcombs and jockies can impose themselves upon it for men of learning.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Well, its no use; Mr. Wou'dbe is too hard for them both.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>2<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> I think so too: why Strutabout! speak up, old fellow, or you'll lose ground.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'll lay you fifty pounds I'm elected before you.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Betting will not determine it; and therefore I shall not lay.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I can lick you, Wou'dbe, <stage><hi rend="italics">(beginning to strip.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You need not strip to do it; for you intend to do it with your tongue, I suppose.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Smallhopes.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p><stage><hi rend="italics"> (clapping Strutabout upon the back)</hi></stage> Well done Strutabout,—you can do it, by God. Don't be afraid, you shan't be hurt; damn me if you shall, <stage><hi rend="italics">(strips.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> What! Gentlemen, do they who aspire to the first posts in our county, and who have ambition to become legislators, and to take upon themselves part of the guidance of the state, submit their naked bodies to public view, as if they were malefactors; or, for some crimes, condemned to the whipping-post?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Smallhopes.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Come on, damn ye; and don't preach your damn'd proverbs here.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p36" n="36"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Are the candidates to fight for their seats in the house of burgesses. If so, perhaps I may stand as good a chance to succeed, as you.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Smallhopes.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I can lick you, by God. Come on, if you dare—<stage><hi rend="italics">(capering about.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Up to him—I'll stand by you. <stage><hi rend="italics">(to Wou'dbe.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>2<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> They are not worth your notice, Mr. Wou'dbe; but if you have a mind to try yourself, I'll see fair play.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> When I think they have sufficiently exposed themselves, I'll explain the opinion I have of them, with the end of my cane.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Smallhopes.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Up to him, damn ye, <stage><hi rend="italics">(pushing Strutabout.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You need not push me, I can fight without being pushed to it; fight yourself, if you are so fond of it. <stage><hi rend="italics">(putting on his cloaths.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Smallhopes.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Nay, if you are for that, and determined to be a coward, Mr. Strutabout, I can't help it; but damn me if I ever hack. <stage><hi rend="italics">(putting on his cloaths.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> So you are both scared, gentlemen, without a blow, or an angry look! ha, ha, ha! Well, gentlemen, you have escaped a good caning, and though you are not fit for burgesses, you'll make good soldiers; for you are excellent at a retreat.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>2<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe!</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Guzzle.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Sir John Toddy! Toddy <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> forever, boys!</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p37" n="37"/>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Sir John, drunk.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Here he comes—as fine gentleman, tho' I say it, as the best of them.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> So I am, John, as clever a fellow <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> as the famous Mr. Wou'dbe, tho' I <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> say it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> There's a pretty fellow to be a burgess, gentleman: lord, what a drunken beast it is.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> What beast, pray? am I a beast?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Strutabout.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, Sir John, you are a beast, and you may take the name of what beast you please; so your servant, my dear.<stage> [<hi rend="italics">Exeunt Strutabout and Smallhopes.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Except an ass, Sir John, for that he's entitled to.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Thank you, sir.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> A friend in need, Sir John, as the proverb says, is a friend indeed.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I thank you, I know you are my friend <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> Mr. Wou'dbe, if you'd speak your mind—I know you are.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> How do you know it, Sir John?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Did not you take my part just now, Mr. Wou'dbe? <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> I know it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I shall always take your part, Sir John, when you are imposed upon by a greater scoundrel than yourself, and when you pretend to what you are not fit for, I shall always oppose you.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, Mr. Wou'dbe, an't I as <hi rend="italics">fitten</hi> a <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> man as either of those?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> More so, Sir John, for they are knaves, and you, Sir John, are an honest blockhead.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p38" n="38"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Is that in my favour, or not, John? <stage><hi rend="italics">(to Guzzle.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> In your favour, by all means; for <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> he says you are honest. Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe and the honest <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> Sir John Blockhead.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Ralpho—gives a letter to Wou'dbe.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe. </hi>
                </speaker>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics">(Reads)</hi>
                </stage>
                <p>—this is good news indeed.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>2<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for the honest Sir John Block- <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> head.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Silence, gentlemen, and I'll read a letter to you, that (I don't doubt) will give you great pleasure.<stage> (<hi rend="italics">he reads)</hi></stage> Sir, <hi rend="italics">I have been informed that the scoundrels who opposed us last election (not content with my resignation) are endeavouring to undermine you in the good opinion of the people: It has warmed my blood, and again call'd my thoughts from retirement; speak this to the people, and let them know I intend to stand a poll,</hi> &amp;c. <hi rend="italics">Your's affectionately.</hi></p>
                <p>WORTHY.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Freeholders.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p>Huzza for Mr. Wou'dbe and Mr. Worthy!</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for Mr. Worthy and Mr. Wou'dbe! <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> I'm not so fitten as they, and therefore gentlemen I recline. <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> Yes, gentlemen <stage><hi rend="italics">(staggering about)</hi></stage> I will; for I am not <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage> so fitten as they. <stage><hi rend="italics">(falls)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Huzza for the drunken Sir John Toddy! <stage><hi rend="italics">(hickups)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Help me up John—do, John, help.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> No, Sir John, stay, and I'll fetch my wife, Joan, and lay—her along side of you. <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p39" n="39"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Ralpho.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Sir.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Take care of Sir John, least any accident should befall him.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, sir. <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exeunt Wou'dbe and freeholders, huzzaing for Wou'dbe and Worthy.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Guzzle, with his wife in his arms.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Here, Sir John, here's my wife fast asleep, to keep you company, and as drunk as a sow. <stage><hi rend="italics">(throws her upon Sir John, and returns to one side.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Oh Lord! you've broke my bones.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics"> (waking)</hi>
                </stage>
                <p>John! John! <stage><hi rend="italics">(punching Sir John)</hi></stage> get up; <stage><hi rend="italics">(looking round, sees Sir John)</hi></stage> what have we here? Lord, what would our John give to know this? He would have reason to be jealous of me, then!</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Guzzle.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, Joan, are you sober?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan. </hi>
                </speaker>
                <stage>
                  <hi rend="italics">(getting up)</hi>
                </stage>
                <p>How came that man to be lying with me? it's some of your doings, I'm sure; that you may have an excuse to be jealous of me.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I want no excuse for that, child.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> What brought him there?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> The same that brought you, child; rum, sugar, and water.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, well, as I live, I thought it was you, and that we were in our own clean sweet bed. Lord! how I tremble for fear he should have done what you do, sometimes, John.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I never do any thing when I am drunk. Sir John and you have done more than that, I believe.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Don't be jealous, John; it will ruin us both.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p40" n="40"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I am very jealous of that.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> If you are, I'll beat the cruel beast that is the cause of it, 'till he satisfies you I am innocent.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Don't, Joan, it will make me more jealous.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I will, I tell you I will. <stage><hi rend="italics">(beats Sir John, who all the time cries murder, help, help!)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Stop, madam, this gentleman is in my care; and you must not abuse him.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Mrs. Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I will, and you too, you rascal. <stage><hi rend="italics">(beats him first, and then Sir John.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Peace, stop, madam, peace, peace.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Oh lord! help, John, for God's sake, help.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italic">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Do as you please, madam, do as you please. <stage><hi rend="italics">(runs off).</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan. </hi>
                </speaker>
                <p><stage><hi rend="italics">(beating Sir John)</hi></stage> I'll learn you to cuckold a man without letting his wife know it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Help, murder! help.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle. </hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> <stage><hi rend="italics">(taking hold of Joan)</hi></stage>Stop, Joan, I'm satisfied—quite satisfied.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> What fellow is it?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Sir John Toddy, our good friend; Oh, Joan, you should not have beat poor Sir John, he is as drunk as you and I were, Joan. Oh! poor Sir John. <stage><hi rend="italics">(cries.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Joan.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Good lack, why did'nt you tell me? I would have struck you as soon as him John. Don't be angry, good Sir John, I did not know you.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Sir John.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> It's well enough: help me out of the mire, neighbours, and I'll forget and forgive.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Guzzle.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, Sir John, and so we will. <stage><hi rend="italics">(they help him up.)</hi></stage> Come, Sir John, let's go home, this is no
<pb id="p41" n="41"/>
place for us: come Joan.<stage> [<hi rend="italics">Exeunt Guzzle and Joan, supporting Sir John.]</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
            </div4>
            <div4 type="scene">
              <head>SCENE III. <stage><hi rend="italics">Another part of the field.</hi></stage></head>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Wou'dbe and Ralpho.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Where's Sir John?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> In the hands of a woman, sir, and as I left him in such good hands, I thought there was no farther occasion for my attendance.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Are you sure he'll be taken care of?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, the lady, an't please your honour, seemed devilish kind to him.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> See that you have all ready; its high time we thought of going home, if we intend there to-night.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italic">Ralpho.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> All shall be ready, sir. <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit Ralpho.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, I've felt the pulse of all the leading men, and find they beat still for Worthy, and myself. Strutabout and Smallhopes fawn and cringe in so abject a manner, for the few votes they get, that I'm in hopes they'll be soon heartily despised.</p>
              </sp>
              <lg type="poem">
                <l>The prudent candidate who hopes to rise,</l>
                <l>Ne'er deigns to hide it, in a mean disguise.</l>
                <l>Will, to his place, with moderation slide,</l>
                <l>And win his way, or not resist the tide.</l>
                <l>The fool, aspiring to bright honour's post,</l>
                <l>In noise, in shouts, and tumults oft, is lost.</l>
              </lg>
              <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit.</hi></stage>
              <p>END OF THE SECOND ACT.</p>
            </div4>
          </div3>
          <div3 type="act iii">
            <div4 type="scene">
              <pb id="p42" n="42"/>
              <head>ACT III. SCENE I. <stage>Wou'dbe's house.</stage></head>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Wou'dbe and Worthy.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Nothing could have afforded me more pleasure than your letter; I read it to the people, and can with pleasure assure you, it gave them infinite satisfaction.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> My sole motive in declaring myself was to serve you, and if I am the means of your gaining your election with honour, I shall be satisfied.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You have always been extremely kind, sir, but I could not enjoy the success I promised myself, without your participation.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I have little inclination to the service; you know my aversion to a public life, Wou'dbe, and how little I have ever courted the people for the troublesome office they have hitherto imposed upon me.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I believe you enjoy as much domestic happiness as any person, and that your aversion to a public life proceeds from the pleasure you find at home. But, sir, it surely is the duty of every man who has abilities to serve his country, to take up the burden, and bear it with patience.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I know it is needless to argue with you upon this head: you are determined I shall serve with you, I find.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I am; and therefore let's take the properest methods to insure success.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> What would you propose?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Nothing more than for you to shew yourself to the people.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'll attend you where ever you please.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p43" n="43"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> To-morrow being the day of election, I have invited most of the principal freeholders to breakfast with me, in their way to the court-house, I hope you'll favour us with your company.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italic">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I will; till then, adieu. <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit Worthy.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I shall expect you. It would give me great pleasure if Worthy would be more anxious than he appears to be upon this occasion; conscious of his abilities and worth, he scorns to ask a vote for any person but me; well, I must turn the tables on him, and solicit as strongly in his favour.</p>
              </sp>
              <lg type="poem">
                <l>'Tis said self-interest is the secret aim,</l>
                <l>Of those uniting under Friendship's name.</l>
                <l>How true this maxim is, let others prove—</l>
                <l>Myself I'd punish for the man I love.</l>
              </lg>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Exit Wou'dbe.</hi>
              </stage>
            </div4>
            <div4 type="scene">
              <head>SCENE II. <stage>Mr. Julip's house.</stage></head>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Captain Paunch and Mr. Julip.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, neighbour, I have come to see you on purpose to know how votes went at the treat yesterday.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I was not there; but I've seen neighbour Guzzle this morning, and he says, Sir John gives the matter up to Mr. Worthy and Mr. Wou'dbe</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Mr. Worthy! does he declare, huzza, my boys! well, I'm proud our county may choose two without being obliged to have one of those jackanapes at the head of it, faith: Who are you for now, neighbour?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I believe I shall vote for the two old ones, and tho' I said I was for Sir John, it was because I
<pb id="p44" n="44"/>
lik'd neither of the others; but since Mr. Worthy will serve us, why, to be sartin its our duty to send Wou'dbe and him.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Hah, faith, now you speak like a man; you are a man after my own heart: give me your hand.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Here it is, Wou'dbe and Worthy, I say.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Done, but who comes yonder? surely, it's not Mr. Worthy! 'Tis, I declare.</p>
              </sp>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Enter Mr. Worthy.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Gentlemen, your servant, I hope your families are well.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> At your service, sir.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I need not, I suppose, gentlemen, inform you that I have entered the list with my old competitors, and have determined to stand a poll at the next election. If you were in the croud yesterday, my friend Wou'dbe, I doubt not, made a declaration of my intentions to the people.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> We know it, thank heaven, Mr. Worthy, tho' neither of us were there: as I did not like some of the candidates I did not choose to be persecuted for a vote that I was resolved never to bestow upon them.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> My rule is never to taste of a man's liquor unless I'm his friend, and therefore, I stay'd at home.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, my honest friend, I am proud to find that you still preserve your usual independence. Is it possible Captain, that the people can be so misled, as to reject Wou'dbe, and elect Strutabout in his room?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You know, Mr. Worthy, how it is, as long as the liquor is running, so long they'll be Mr. Strutabout's<pb id="p45" n="45"/>
friends, but when the day comes, I'm thinking it will be another case.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'm sorry, my countymen, for the sake of a little toddy, can be induced to behave in a manner so contradictory to the candour and integrity which always should prevail among mankind.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> It's so, sir, you may depend upon it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I'm a thinking it is.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, gentlemen, will you give me leave to ask you, how far you think my declaring will be of service to Mr. Wou'dbe?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Your declaring has already silenced Sir John Toddy; and I doubt not, but Strutabout and Small-hopes will lose many votes by it.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Has Sir John declined? poor Sir John is a weak man, but he has more virtues to recommend him than either of the others.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> So I think, Mr. Worthy, and I'll be so bold as to tell you that, had you not set up, Mr. Wou'dbe and Sir John should have had my vote.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Was I a constituent, instead of a candidate, I should do the same.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, captain, you see I was not so much to blame.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Sir John may be honest, but he is no fitter for that place than myself.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Suppose he was not, if he was the best that offered to serve us, should not we choose him.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, surely: Well, my friends, I'm now on my way, to breakfast at Mr. Wou'dbe's, but I hope to meet you at the court-house to day.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p46" n="46"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Both.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Aye, aye, depend upon us. <stage>[<hi rend="italics">Exit Worthy.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Well, neighbour, I hope things now go on better; I like the present appearance.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> So do I.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Do all you can, old fellow.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I will.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Capt.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> I hope you will, neighbour. I wish you well.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italic">Julip.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> You the same.<stage> [<hi rend="italics">shake hands, and exeunt.</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
            </div4>
            <div4 type="scene">
              <head>SCENE III. <stage>Woud'be's house, a long breakfast table <lb/> set out.</stage></head>
              <stage>
                <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe, Worthy, Capt. Paunch, Mr. Julip, Twist, Stern, Prize, and other freeholders; several negroes go backwards and forwards, bringing in the breakfast.</hi>
              </stage>
              <sp>
                <speaker>1<hi rend="italics">st Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Give us your hand, neighbour Worthy, I'm extremely glad to see thee with all my heart: So my heart of oak, you are willing to give your time and trouble once more to the service of your country.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Worthy.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Your kindness does me honour, and if my labours be productive of good to my country, I shall deem myself fortunate.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>2<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> Still the same sensible man I always thought him. Damn it, now if every county cou'd but send such a burgess, what a noble house we should have?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>3<hi rend="italics">d Freeholder.</hi></speaker>
                <p> We shall have no polling now, but all will be for the same, I believe. Here's neighbour Twist, who was resolute for Strutabout, I don't doubt, will vote for Mr. Worthy and Mr. Wou'dbe.</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Twist.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Yes, that I will: what could I do better?</p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">All.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Aye, so will we all.</p>
              </sp>
              <pb id="p47" n="47"/>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
                  <hi rend="italics">Wou'dbe.</hi>
                </speaker>
                <p> Gentlemen, for your forwardness in favour of my good friend Worthy, my sincere thanks are but a poor expression in the pleasure I feel. For my part, your esteem I shall always attribute more to his than my own desert. But come, let us sit down to breakfast, all is ready, I believe; and you're heartily welcome to batchelors quarters. <stage><hi rend="italics">(they all sit down to the table, he asks each of the company which they prefer, coffee, tea, or chocolate, and each chooses to his liking; he pours out, and the servants carry it around.)</hi></stage></p>
              </sp>
              <sp>
                <speaker>
 