The peculiarity of our situation, naturally held out temptations to
idleness; temptations too, that were by no means repulsive to our natural
inclinations. His majesty cautioned us from the start against going in the
creek,
Page 2
he said it was
dangerous, for we might get drowned. Nevertheless he was
by no means scrupulous; he would very frequently indulge us in a swim; himself
occasionally becoming one of the party. This course continued for a time, but
his subjects grew tired of restraint; frequent opportunities were seazed when,
unknown to his majesty; and unluckily, according to his forebodings, one
hapless youth plunged into a hole that was quite over his head, and being
unable to swim a yard, quenched his thirst rather too liberally before reaching
the bank. A different system was immediately adopted, and the decree was
"that no scholar on any pretence whatever be permited to go in the creek
before school, time of books, at play time, or after dismission" The sad
recollection of our friends misfortune induced us for a time to submit to the
law. But nature will survive, and its appetites must be indulged. We soon
forgot the solemn scene, and not without the utmost precautions, again
commenced our career of swimming. It were an endless task to attempt an
enumeration of all the various schemes resorted too, to blind his honour and
avoid detection. Suffice it to say we would sometimes ask permission to go
squirrel hunting, sometimes to visit a near neighbour, and very frequently when
engaged in play, would become quite wild, and run beyond all reasonable bounds.
But by the way we always took care to run in considerable numbers, and however
different might be our directions at the start, we would generally meet at the
same spot in the end. But notwithstanding all our precautions, his majesty
began to grow suspicious; and what served to increase his suspicion was, he saw
one of
us return from a visit with his head
wet; this happened to be myself. What has become of your company? was the
immediate question. They are coming sir; was my reply. I saw from
the his oblique
glance at
manner in which he surveyed my head,
and his suspicious
glance
look that something was the matter. He
immediately set off down the creek, and had he not met my companions combing
their heads, and discryed our tracks in the very edge of the water, we
Page 3
should all have come off with flying colours; as
innocent as lambs. But evidence was irresistible. It is scarce necessary to
hint, that in all such instances
at an old-field
school one individual forms judge, jury, executioner, and every thing
else. His honour took the chair, and his disobedient subjects were cited. The
two largest who were quite able to cope with his Majesty, in case of blows,
confessed the crime. The two smaller dreading the consequences denyed the
charge. What[,] do you deny being in? Yes sir we do. But did not I see your
head wet? says he to me. It was sweat sir. But I saw your tracks on the very
brink of the water! Looking down through fright and confusion, I discovered
that, as usual, I was bare footed. My reply immediately was that I was there,
but not in; to which one of my larger companions gave his assent. Well it is
best so, replyed his majesty, for I would have tanned your hide and that
well severely. Let me ever catch you
cuting such capers and I will skin you Sir. This touched me sensibly, and made
me feel indefinitely small. I dreaded his displeasure, and for a time was for
changing my course. He thought by skinning me at least to scare the rest. But
there was where he was most prodigiously mistaken. They laughed at his
cowardice and pusillanimity, and from that time on, grew five fold worse. And
he was not a little astonished, the first high water, on steping down the
creek, not only to spy the very same individuals in the very act of swimming,
but each pushing before him the water-mealons which he had just stolen from the
field beyond. Luckily I did not happen to be one of the company for him to skin
and tan. His only resort now was to return, pick up their slates, and write,
Bill and
Eaph watermealon rogu[e]s. They knew the hand wright, and
were thunderstruck, when they found that they were detected. Nevertheless they
pretended an entire ignorance of who it was that had written on their slates;
and swore vengeance against the
Page 4
villan that would
dare to tell upon them. All this was done in strains so loud that there was not
the least chance for his majesty to miss hearing
every a
single word; and it had the desired effect. On going in to shew their
sums, they found him, contrary to their own expectations, the kindest and most
polite individual they had met with for many days. Indeed the victory appeared
complete; nothing was heard but the most flattering expressions, all of which
seemed to speak in audible language "Please dont break my head for the
present, and in future you are at liberty to
do act at you
pleasere."
5
Convinced of his imbecility, and to display our independance and manhood, we
all combined together and resolved
the first large
freshet to plunge right into the creek, immediately before his eyes. And
our resolution was most assuredly carried into effect. The rain came and
spelling was scarcely ended, when in direct contradiction to his orders and
most
vigorous
vigilent precaution, we displayed our
virility, by darting across the bridge, st
riping off, and extending ourselves at full length upon the
surface of the stream; not without however occasionally exclaiming in strains
of insolent exultation "It is a free country, and i'll do as I
please.["] We at the same time hinted some several threats if our
amusements were disturbed. Feeling ourselves quite out of danger, we began to
splash and plunge very merily indeed, when all on a sudden behold! we descryed
his
sheepish majesty just in the act of
grabbing our clothes. The alarm was given and no time was to be lost.
The alarm was given and no time was to be
lost. Every stictch was gone in an instant. Each sprang to the bank with
all possible speed. My three companions made for the clothes, and I struck
across to the opposite side. My object was to intercept if possible his passage
to the scho
ol house.
Page 5
The creek was very high, and it was with desparate polling that I was
enabled to reach the opposite bank,
6 by
the time his majesty
reached
jumped upon the bridge; which as before stated
was about two hundred yards up the stream. My fellows were all bare-footed as
well as naked elsewheres. Nevertheless
they in the heat of the chaise, they contrived to make a
tremendous crackling in
crossing
passing the bridge. The wedners
7 from
the village were about ten steps off when my friends started over the creek. I
am not certain whether it was the rearing of the bridge, or the strange,
grotesque form of the animals they saw that made their horses run and snort.
The ladies screamed tremendously; and the wedners were thrown into violent
confusion. Nevertheless our party at this critical juncture had no regard for
other peoples maters. Not a moment was to be lost. Each was bent on geting his
shirt, at least, and more if he could. Those whose horses were more quiet, and
who were not
themselves overstocked with
modesty, stood still and viewed the chaise. Supposing us in pursuit of a
villain, or for the sake of adding to the fun, each cryed, Huzza! Huzza! catch
the rogue.
as loud
as he could ball.
One old lady, that had no doubt been taking some
tea, I recollect, distinguished herself
manfully on
the occasion. Mounted on a nag that no
thunder could
scare (I mean a jack),
8
herself as ugly as the beast she rode, forgetting her companions, and the
delicacy of her sex, was carried away with the delights of the scene. Clapping
her hands with all
her might, she Hallooed at
the foremost, encouraged the middle, and chid the hindmost; all the time
laughing as loud as she could ball, and swearing it was the best fun she
Page 6
had seen since the wedding commenced. One little
beau-legged fellow, who appeared more eager, and fleet than the rest, attracted
attention from the closeness of his chaise. He appeared every moment to be
grabbing at the tail of his majesties thin mined coat, which, by the way, the
wind held high. The old lady, I remember very well, kept exclaiming, Zounds!
he'ill have him, he'ill have him, he'ill catch the rogue. I had now arrived at
the top of the bank, and was animated and
pleased, and encouraged to proceed. I certainly would have intercepted his
passage, but being too much bent on gaining honour, and geting my shirt, I
entirely neglected where I was setting my feet. I made two or three quite
promising strides: the old lady observing gave me the squall, and I had just
begun to think of winning the laurels, when Alas! I sunk to the bottom of the
ten foot ditch full of water and mud. One minute, though, brought me to the
light again; I burst up like a rat from butter milk, sprang to my feet, and at
the old ladies Halloo! put forth with my utmost speed. His honour had just
passed the road when I pitched in, so off I set, full tilt; side by side with
the hottest pursuer; the third was just behind; and the fourth a large blowsy
fat fellow, being quite a heavy sailor, brought up the rear. A whole team of
naked fellows. The good old lady being now lost in extacy, starting up from her
saddle, pitched smack a strad
dle of the asses
head. The poor animal which had never been frightened in its whole life before,
and which no thunder could move, was now actually scared to fits, and set up a
most tremendous bray. The outlandish
Page 7
whistling
noise he produced among the old ladies petticoats made every horse dart like
lightning. The poor jack,
he entirely
blindfolded, half balanced before and behind, followed by the sound as fast as
he could, over logs and rocks, keeping up the thrill music as he went. I expect
they had a merrier ride to town, than ever
Gilpin
took. But this is only the report of the school girls, who affirmed next day
that they were standing on top of the hill, and witnessed the whole of sport.
We were too intent in pursuit of our game even to think of looking round. We
got our clothes not without considerable fuss, and as near as I can recollect,
from that day forth left off Quixotic adventures.